"God Provides!" has long been a motto of many, including this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit. Increasingly more, the Lord reminds me--and reminds me to remind others.
Yesterday was able to finally get in Precious Blood (used pick-up truck) and venture into civilization for some needed provisions. Picked up the bathroom "holy door" from the lumberyard, and stopped at Lowe's to find out from Don what is the status of the on-going cabinet issues.
I had not seen Don in some time, and the last time, I noticed he seemed kind of shaky. I thought it was due to the firm email I'd sent regarding his not handling the issues that are on-going these 13 months. He was trying, but it seemed ridiculous for a man his age and fastidious nature. But yesterday, with time lapsing from seeing him, I was stunned with how thin and gaunt his appearance. It is as if he had aged ten years, once I recalled his outer appearance even a year ago.
He must be ill. In the night, I reflected upon the many times he seemed to forget to ask the cabinet rep how to correct the issues, or the time lag in ordering a proper-size cabinet to replace one that was not long enough, above range, so that the microwave will be proper height, and "code."
Why have I not been praying more for Don, specifically? Rather, time has been spent, and mental space and emotion, focusing on the issues rather than considering there must be something within, going on, beneath the surface and not simple incompetence of an otherwise kind and careful man.
God provides! He provides those for whom we are to pray, and He provides reminders and lessons in returning to focus on souls while concurrently handling the here-and-now temporal responsibilities. Yes, I must be responsible enough to have these cabinets functional. How could I pass on to the next person living here, cabinets with various flaws? God would not provide such attitude or moral ill!
When I did return to the hermitage--worn out, pained, hand injury flared--there were a couple of emails. One was from an account: They need more Fortitude Fudge! Send the milk chocolate and the bourbon varieties! The other email was from someone desiring three more dozen St. Bernard Love of God Bourbon Balls. "Can you do this and have them here by Wednesday?"
God provides! Just when I had felt once more that I could not quite push through the "other" side of the recent pain siege "storm," His Real Presence is providing the impetus to keep active in what I have come to call "bread-crumb" jobs. These are small tasks that I can break up into segments, such as making the fudge but needing it to set for ten hours or so before cutting and packaging. Or dividing the efforts in making bourbon balls--segmenting, such as now, resting before rolling and wrapping. Even the fact that my thumb is not needed to roll the balls: Yes, God provides! It is His way of providing therapy both physical and emotional!
The love and praying that I pour into these bread-crumb jobs is perhaps why people comment they've never tasted such good fudge and bourbon balls. Why don't I do that with every single task--when answering a rare phone call or such as conversing with Don over the need to get the cabinet problems resolved before more time lapses?
God provides the gifts of prayer and love; but it takes a strong will and desire to learn to remember and utilize what He provides--love and communication with Him that can change our lives and situations and actually change our and others eternal souls!
And on a purely tangible and temporal level, God provides the means and ways of our lives. I am going to make it through to the end of this month financially now, and that is good because the pole barn roof is leaking and new French doors need to be more tightly hung. Raphael answered his phone this time and says he will come this morning to have a look and hopefully correct at least the French doors not being tight enough together where they meet.
God provides! He provides for all our temporal needs. Yet, He most importantly (really!) provides for our souls' spiritual growth. He provides plenty of stretching in our lives, and sometimes He provides complete upheaval if we are heading in a direction He does not will--of course, when we have prayed at some point in our lives the simple prayer that we desire to be in His will or to do His will. Maybe we prayed that as a child--but time is God's, and He may step in years later if we are going astray in some way that is not even immoral or dangerous in any temporal aspect. But it may be that we simply are not doing as He wills for our spiritual lives and our souls.
God provides! He provides the love and the suffering and the means to learn to love to suffer and suffer to love. Perhaps it is the tremendous pain of this hermit's body that lends some flavor to the fudge and bourbon balls, lends some impetus to the prayers offered for those who will eat them? God provides in all aspects of our human and eternal existences that the thought and listing is infinite.