Catholic Hermit: Out of Darkness, Into Spirit and Truth

Well, it seems awhile since I've written but think just a couple days.  This afternoon I began to feel as if waking up from a blurry and lengthy dream of mostly non-remembering.  I'm cautiously optimistic that this illness has turned the corner; but it is notorious for having me feel as if some better and next day worse.  Yet, I'm still considering that this body has turned the corner for the better.

And as the days pass, there has been more information the researchers and Coronavirus Task Force have discovered as to symptoms.  Yes, sinuses are very much part of where this upper respiratory virus can start or reside.  No, it does not have to include a cough.  No, the fever does not need to be 100 or more, depending upon age.  In fact, don't need many symptoms at all, or for long.  A couple days ago they were finding people testing positive who presented with gastrointestinal symptoms.  A woman who had it today was interviewed and said her symptoms were slight sore throat and headache for a few days.

Soon there will be an online site to be screened or at least guidelines, but from what they've said in their briefings, I will definitely qualify for testing.  I might get a test if I feel well enough to drive to wherever there is a drive-through; but tomorrow will be day 14 for me to have been very sick with slow but gradual improvement.  Still not out of bed much but have been today to remove black plastic bags from the planters in back and to fold some clothes that have been on drying rack for I'm-not-sure-how-long.  This is a promising start or upswing!

My head is not so disoriented now, although the sinus issue I am not convinced was really a sinus infection.  Still had low-grade fever today and some chills this morning and early afternoon--but fewer and farther between.  Being as if existing in a dream is dwindling!  Praise God!  And thanksgiving and gratitude for those who have been praying for me!

I did, the past few days, write elsewhere of my experience with this illness, and reminded others that the symptoms do not necessarily or maybe mostly fit into the neat three-or-four boxes that medical providers have tended to insist upon.  Breathing difficulties are not involved in many of those who tested positive.  Friday night the first infant with COVID-19 was born in the UK.  People are less and less spouting off about how the media is hyping this pandemic, or that people don't have it unless presenting with high fever, respiratory distress, and have serious underlying conditions.

We are all coming out of whatever darkness of ignorance or not wanting to deal with the facts and realities.  We are all learning together about the coronavirus, or COVID-19, and with humility are recognizing that we know very little other than what is being discovered daily by daily research and by persons' symptoms being reported.  

Thanks be to God there will be testing that bypasses medical providers' with their varied notions of what constitutes symptoms warranting testing, for too many of them were expecting only the dire cases that fit neatly into three categories and a fourth if one had been on a cruise ship or exposed even if in a conference or group of hundreds in which one or more persons had tested positive and was in known "hot-spot" area. 

 (Yet I am undecided if I will get tested as will need to feel much better to drive to a testing spot once they are established, and by then not sure there is a point for me.  I suppose to know if safe for me to be around others; as a hermit and my family visit over, I have no place I need to go as am stocked up with edibles.  Have had no to little appetite, although that is returning a bit.  I'll ask the Lord to guide me on whether or not to get a test once feel up for driving to testing location.  Wore myself out with effort to get to Urgent Care and next day to the D.O. for what now seems to be for me to pray for the two persons as well as to share my experiences, which did help someone this morning.)

So I turn to today's Gospel, the real-life experience of Jesus and the disciples walking and arriving at Jacob's well in Samaria.  The disciples go on into the town to purchase food to bring back to Jesus, as he was weary and they left him to rest.  Or, perhaps, of course, Jesus foreknew what would transpire and encouraged the disciples to go on without him to buy food.  (And I note that they purchased food--did not beg, at least at that point and location.  No one knew of Jesus there; his reputation had not preceded him.)

The verses that I'm most pondering and holding close to heart are these of Jesus in explaining to the Samaritan woman and those whom she was asking to come see this man who knew about her life, who is the Messiah.

"But the hour is coming, and is now here, when true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth; and indeed the Father seeks such people to worship Him.  God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in Spirit and truth" (John 4:23-24). 

The Lord is calling us now, calling us the world over, to worship God the Father in Spirit and truth.  He is seeking us during this time of Lent--especially those of us who are now feeling the fuller effects of this global health pandemic--but all of us including those who have suffered greatly and lost many lives to it, and whose countries have not yet peaked from the disastrous effects of this highly contagious and dangerous virus--especially to the more vulnerable sections of the worlds populace. 

And Jesus emphasizes that for those of us who worship Him worship Him in Spirit and truth.

I am needing a bit of thoughtfulness and, perhaps to put my bodily pain plus whatever of the blurring couple of weeks with these several other symptoms of COVID-19, behind the desire to worship God the Father, and to worship Him in Spirit and truth.  I'm praising God for loving us all so much to allow us this time period and the circumstances of physical, medical pandemic, of for some to deal emotionally with panic by turning to God for protection and healing, and to have faith and trust in the Lord mentally that the economic realities that will be harsh for awhile, will turn around.

We must turn to God in Spirit and in truth, for turning to Him is a step in worshiping Him.  People will not turn to God if not interested in at least acknowledging that He is there for them--for them to turn to.  Conversion!

At least others will see the many of us who love and worship God, who praise Him and pray to Him asking for the salvation of the world and of souls--will have an example just as the people of the Samaritan town saw in the Samaritan woman at the well how she had changed already.  She was so excited and doing all she could to convince people to come and see; she even announced to them that Jesus had told her of all her male alliances and husbands,.  She was so taken up in the Spirit and truth that she did not mind being totally transparent and admitting her sinful life.  Conversion!

God bless His Real Presence!

[Just received text from someone who'd texted over hour ago that spouse was not home yet and getting dark.  Had gone fishing where no cell service, and should have been on way home.  We prayed, and also I texted some to help point out that was still dusk and the fishing might have been very good and enticing to squeeze out every bit of light.  So this text was that the lost has been found, and is yet an hour away but all right.  And, truly, I was just noticing that dusk seemed to last extra long so just now at point of darkness.  I also texted that we prayed to the Father in Spirit and truth, and now I will praise the Father in Spirit and truth!  All is well for the fishers of fish!]

Catholic Hermit: A Specific Power Against Evil

When re-reading today's Psalm, prayed and read at Masses all over the world on this day, the Lord reminded me that the Psalms themselves are a powerful force against evil.  They also are a balm to the soul, the mind, the heart, the body, for the devil attempts to disrupt all aspects of our beings.

Today's Psalm is 71.  Read it if you wish; or best, pray it slowly, lovingly, sweetly with assurance.  His Real Presence and also the soul of the psalmist who wrote it way back when on earth, will fill you with peace, strength and courage.  I do wish I could post it here, but with the old IPad, it is a wonderment to be able to write and post, let alone cut and paste.  Perhaps later when laptop is repaired, I will clean up my little blog posts of recent note.

The power of the Psalms became a reality to this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit, the last year of my beloved mother's life.  She was what we could accurately describe as anti-Catholic.  My conversion and later profession of vows as a Catholic hermit, privately, traditionally, as one with the Consecrated Life of the Catholic Church--well, the initial conversion to the Church upset her deeply.

But a mother's love is true, at least with my mother, and while she never liked my being a Catholic, she did accept that this was my path, and she perhaps surprisingly and kindly, at least to my face, accepted my hermit vocation.  She had fear of the little black breviary which I'd being with me on the daily stays at the health care facility where she lived those final ten months.  (My mother suffered more than any suffering I can imagine, all the worse because her mind was as clear and brilliant as when she was at any point in her 86 years.)

She somehow thought the breviary some scary Catholic thing.  One day she asked again about it.  I would read the morning office in silence, as she read something other.  So I explained it is simply a compilation of Scripture, especially the Psalms, prayers, hymns, poetry, and excerpts of holy writings of Christian theologians, Saints, Mystics, and Church leaders.

After awhile, one day she said, "Well, you can read the Psalms to me...but none of the other stuff."

Her eyes were failing some, and she came to look forward to my reading the Psalms aloud with her.
Then one day she said, "Well, I guess you can go ahead and read the other parts to me, as well."  So I did.

What is so miraculous about this scenario is that in the last few years of life, my otherwise Christian mother, a devoted Methodist back in the days when Methodism was quite prevalent as a popular, mainline, Protestant church, had been increasingly seduced by New Age ideologies.  She had joined a group of rather demonic type people who had taken advantage of her not only spiritually but also psychologically and even in some ways materially.

While the Lord answered prayers, and my sisters and I were able to move her back to her hometown and away from that group, her Christianity was nearly lost.  In a dream the Lord showed me in an image of my mother, agitated and her hair wildly flaming, and her always beautiful, fair skin a horrendous shade of red--all but on little clear patch remaining on her left cheek.

Of course, I went to work on this horror, with prayer.  My sisters realized her peril as well, if not so graphically.  They prayed, their families and friends prayed.  I went on a sacrificial pilgrimage, difficult with my body to do so, but prayed in every church we entered, and there were many, many churches.  I spent nights in a chapel before His Real Presence, praying for my mother to return to Christ.

And I kept reading the Psalms to her, day in and day out.  Easter morning, when I entered her room, she said she had called my sisters to apologize for worrying them and to tell them she really is a Christian.  And I kept reading the Psalms to her.

Five months and many Psalms later, my mother made a tremendous shift in thinking.  One day she said she no longer was pro-abortion.  In fact, she felt God had given her a mission in the health care facility among some unwed young aides who tended her, who were also expecting babies.  She began to encourage them, not judge or criticize, not think they should have abortions.  She began encouraging them to take college courses part time.

My mother said she was going to help me with my mission here on earth, after her death.  I know she has helped, although currently I have put quite a strain on my mission with the fixer upper I got into!  However, as to the Psalms, at my mother's private graveside service, her sister chose to read a Psalm. She shared with us there that my mother had told her in recent months how she had come to love the Psalms, and would ask my aunt to read them to her when she would visit.

I said nothing, but I knew then, deeply, the power of the Psalms in times of trouble, in times of souls being threatened by demonic take over.  Yes, the Gospels are powerful, the very Words of Jesus.  There are many incredible sources of power in defeating the evil one.

But today I am reminded by the Lord to share with you, dear readers, the spiritual efficacy of the Psalms as a source of fighting the enemy.  Plus, as the songs that they are--and poetry--they can be a marvelous way to breach religious divides, or to broach Christianity with those who are agnostics or atheist is, which my mother was not.  She just lost her way a bit, and turned back around!

God bless His Real Presence in us, the little children that we are.  Let us humbly love and encourage and support one another no matter how lost or found we may think we are.

Profound Experience, Reality, but...

A few nights ago this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit had yet another unbidden, unexpected experience in the night.  It was amazing, lovely--and thought the next day the Lord had surely treated me wondrously in response to the prayer love anthem offered via a famous singer's secular song.

But then the day before yesterday I learned of a family member's suddenly planned trip to bike solo through three European countries.

He left late last night, New York to Paris.

There is much more to this, considering it was this family member who the Lord took me in spirit to visit the other night.  And while there, my late mother also visited from the other side.  I was aware of her presence, and a sign was given that extended into the temporal reality of my own hermitage, here, and of her reminding me to do something that, indeed, I had totally forgotten about--practical.

But now the bi-location experience took on a different aspect rather than a wondrous treat for this hermit to be in loving company of the family member who has been off in our relationship, more estranged, and whose soul has over time gone farther, in fact turned away from, God.

I was going to write about bi-location, and this experience in particular lent itself to the discussion.  However, this morning when I began to pitchfork some larger-chunked wood bark from the pick up truck (Precious Blood, by name), and wheelbarrowed the first load to spread, I must have re-aggravated the upper left back muscle that was pulled on Monday last, when I took the first of two falls and slides on the pole barn roof while painting it.

By the third wheelbarrow of mulch, I was ill with acute muscle pain.  I made it inside, to the mattress in this small cell of a room.  I tried ice, then heat.  Now I am beyond able to cope physically with such pain.  Praise God!  Praise God for the medications to help, for the Order of the Present Moment that now dictates that there will be no work done, and enforced mattress time, until the muscle is not in spasms of screaming pain.

I cannot write more of the experience at this time.  But I do ask readers, if you are so inclined, to pray for the family member who is biking solo through France, Belgium, and Holland in the next couple of weeks.  His soul has been in trouble for a few years, and I admit to having shirked the intensity of praying that would be beneficial.  Immediate family members are concerned for his safety, of course.  There are other factors that make the safety an issue.  

But my main concern is for the soul.  I am praying that he turn back to the Lord, for there really is nothing worth more than a soul re-turned to God, secure in His Love.

Of all things--today this extreme muscle pull or tear.  Painful to breathe, move, write.  So will cease.  The Lord has chosen stillness, suffering, silence, solitude, simplicity, stability, selflessness, slowness, and prayerfully, serenity for today and until He gives further notice.  I was eager to do the chores of the land.  He wills I do the prayers of the Spirit, instead.

God bless His Real Presence, and thank you if you can lend your prayers for a young man, age 33, out on a pilgrimage of sorts, even if he'd not at all consider this solitary trek a pilgrim's seeking something more than what he has currently, within.

(I'd like to write more of the profound experience, the reality, but...present moment pain prohibits body movement much, even writing!  God's will.)

Glen Campbell - Mary In The Morning

The nothing Catholic hermit's usual music fare is instrumental--Bach Masses, Mozart Masses, Requiems, and of the classical genre.  But in seeking the things of God, the hermit also utilizes any of God's Beautiful Creatures' inspired and talented gifts in order to touch upon the holy.  This song, for example, sung by the incomparable voice and guitar talent of Glen Campbell--to the hermit--is a song sung by St. Joseph to the Virgin Mary.

Listeners may be reminded that Joseph and Mary are people, are God's Created Beautiful Creatures with souls, and their lives were real like ours, with the emotions and thoughts and experiences not unlike what any of us find in our earthly journeys.

Plus, with a musical artist (some say a genius and prodigy) such as Glen Campbell, we also have his life journey, his rise, his fall, his conversion and baptism in the water and Spirit, and his then learning to live and exist as born from above, born of the Spirit--redeemed despite great suffering, yet being humbled in the process.  In the realm of the things of God, this rendition becomes Joseph singing to Mary.

If Today You Hear His Voice

...harden not your hearts.

There is always a potential...and then a possible response, an action in reaction.

Today, Ash Wednesday 2015, the nothing Catholic hermit appreciated a phone book discussion and ensuing conversation with a young friend--wife and mother of two with a third on the way.  She has blossomed spiritually, grown in leaps and bounds in just the past few months!  The Catholic hermit is so proud of her--and this nothing has no reason for pride other than a deep joy in seeing another soul responding to the graces of His Real Presence.

She heard His voice, essentially in various ways, and she did not harden her heart.  She used her God-given will and made some choices, and she acted on the good of what He desired of her...and succeeded.  How her life has changed!  Anger has come under control and mostly wiped away as soon as it surfaces.  She has learned how to discern her dreams (His voice in images and scenes given her subconscious in sleep), and then moved on after gleaning any valid lessons requiring action or reaction on her part and tossing any demonic trash into the do-not-recall bin.

She is living more and more in the present moment and blooming where she is planted.  Previously, she longed for her husband to get an assignment elsewhere, never settling fully in nor fitting in with those in the area.  Why?  There are many reasons which we had discussed over time, but the outcome is she softened her heart and listened and made changes in her attitude.  She grasped her vocation as wife and mother and started to see the honor in it, as well as the inspiring challenges for growth in the virtues, day by day and night by night.

She let go of the past memories that haunted her of her childhood and the perceived lacks therein. She let go of apologizing for herself and feeling inadequate, or in carrying a great deal of unnecessary guilt (something that some Catholic parents train into the children by innocent error of a mistype of tradition, creating an element of fear and control that can be misplaced later on).  

She also kept to her spiritual reading--the classics of great saints as well as to making offerings of the mundanity of diapers and dishes.  Rather than reacting in hurt to other women's not including her, she began to reach out to the one woman she might notice who also was not included.  She started to create her own group or spiritual opportunity even if she was the only member, or just one other. 

(For this young woman is a soul beyond what a bulk of women may find relevant and necessary, not to their fault necessarily; she simply is more a contemplative and most likely also born a mystic. Through numerous conversations, working with her prayers and dreams, being open to being called out on some issues, she started to listen and understand and to accept that her path is valid, too).

She heard His voice in so many ways that He speaks to us!  And she hardened not her heart.  What a gift of inspiration to others, and how much more peaceful her life!  Faith has increased beyond measure.  It kind of grew quietly, all this change, and today the nothing Catholic hermit could not contain the joy and gratitude for what an inspiration she is to this soul who happens to be facing a sense of backsliding and faltering, of weakness in will, and lack of discipline in focus, or so it seems.

We have selected another book to read "together" for our weekly phone discussion.  Since this Catholic hermit has been so seriously ill for awhile, she has been kindly in postponing, so patiently.
Today nothing Catholic hermit, in the course of our discussion of sin and redemption, shared some deeply personal experiences of great falls from grace in ways that a person would obviously know were not good, but to learn just how weak the soul can be and how great is His Real Presence to allow some terrible falls in sin, yet bring such amazing, life-changing lessons that are never then forgotten.  He is so merciful!  

The young woman seemed to appreciate the candor and was probably stunned, and we laughed to think that this Catholic hermit has come through some awful sins and still, last night, slipped on something so little yet so ridiculously unnecessary.  The penance it gave itself was to purchase a copy of our next reading selection for the young woman, despite its own finances being not good these days.  But it sold a pair of boots last night, and in that transaction was part of the ridiculous slip-up.  

My, how easy it is to sin, when one would think we'd get old enough and seasoned to avoid even the near occasion of sin!  No!  The Lord ever humbles us as He watches His children, especially the old ones, do something stupid and wrong--even realizing they are doing it but either too tired or too miffed to stop it right then and there.  So forgiveness asked immediately of His Real Presence, and mercy granted even though the sting lasted a bit into the night.  

No, 'twas time to put it immediately behind, for dwelling on a slip or fall after it has been forgiven, only leads to a kind of pride in over-thinking one's actions, or the tendency to be too upset at having sinned...as if we are too great and spiritually mature to have slipped up.  Better to chuckle and remind oneself that even as we get old, we can tend to falter just as our bones grow physically unsteady.  We are never free from error until our last breath.

It is Ash Wednesday.  The nothing Catholic hermit made no grand plans for giving up this or that food or anything else.  It did not even bother leaning on the crutch of being still sick and qualifying as old for any Church law exemption.  Rather, nothing Catholic hermit  hardened not its heart and realized His Real Presence will bring the opportunities for sacrifice, for penance, for listening and reacting and changing its ways to whatever God brings to the conversion table.

Yesterday, even though with an encouraging bit of energy enough to launder the bed linens, weed a bit in the sun and breathe fresh air, and then make some simple chili from a packaged soup mix, there started in the thoughts of how it might be able to stay on here in this hermitage, after all.  So ideas started to pump up the enthusiasm, and the hermit got some encouragement from a long-time friend--until it realized the chronic pain and lack of physical consistency would make the idea not so stable, and research of like enterprises in the area showed the competition to be rather stiff.

Nothing Catholic hermit cannot compete with the wealthy who do such ventures as hobbyists, or the young, or the able-bodied, or those with spouses to help with the efforts.  It is still out there as a possibility, but even though the long-time friend said just lower the price and business will happen--the potentials for the inconsistent and unannounced pain sieges or other blights could be disastrous with the particular idea to gain some needed income in order to remain.

Too much distraction in seeking ways to have it easier, to not have to pick up and go again, to have to detach totally from the remainder of the gardens and have some kind of enjoyment of the area and place instead of the heaviness of so much manual labor and hardship and expense since arrival here nearly two years ago!  How can one hear His voice today or any day (or night), if the mind--if not the heart--is hardened to what it thinks might be easier or even better than what seems to be the unavoidable?  

So this nothing Catholic hermit must silence the various ideas that start to jangle about in the mind--ways to remain despite the financial odds, or also ways to create a bit of hope and impetus to get back to the hard work ahead in order to finish the place in order to have it salable.  The mind must listen for His voice will speak in some way, shape, or form, in the day and in the night, sooner or later and most likely sooner.  

Silence is His voice, too, we realize.  Just silence of His Breath, of His Peace, of His Love, of His Mercy.  The heart must not be hardened by the weight of our heavy concerns nor by our fears of what is next even if we suspect it is going to mean more lessons, more suffering--for suffering and love always go together to bring about the best for our sanctification.  And the suffering can be sweet.  His Voice is in the suffering and sometimes more clear then than in seeming temporal success or happiness.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Remain in His Love! Listen in His Love, and He will speak; and our hearts will soften to His plans for us no matter what.

Why Mystical Phenomenon, and for Whom?

This Catholic hermit has experienced mystical phenomenon for years--all its life:  when a child, teen, married, Protestant, single, Catholic, Catholic hermit.  Over the years this hermit has realized it has to educate itself as best it can, and God provides all education, at that, through various means.  A simple means is that through life experience; another is through reading books by those of the past whose lives exhibited lived experience and knowledge as well as those academics who wrote on various topics of spiritual experiences.

From personal standpoint, the Lord gives some souls more spiritual experiences, and the reasons are His to know.  However, we may be privy to some reasons, for ourselves.  These reasons can play out in generalized terms.  The Lord utilizes mystical means, probably most often, to communicate with us.  For those who recognize the experiences, they do tend to grab one's attention--especially those experiences that are profoundly life-altering and obvious.  

Sometimes the experiences are witnessed by others.  Most often, spiritual experiences of the mystical or supernatural modality are private messages of love, warning, guidance or visitation by His Real Presence.  These are meted out by whoever God in Three Persons desires, if given by messengers: angels, recognizable saints--perhaps most notably the Virgin Mary, angels, souls on the other side known or unknown by the person receiving the experience, and even by demons.  (Yes, demons are under God's power and might, and they can be utilized in a way we may not have considered.  They can be used to shock us, frighten us, and instill a dread of evil in order to turn us to God and good.)

Jesus, the Second Person of the Trinity, manifests in various supernatural ways, to souls His Real Presence desires to touch according to His will and providence.

On occasion, souls from purgatory are allowed to deliver messages or present themselves to souls.  (It is all for our benefit, for our learning, for the increase of our faith or for the enactment of some good.)  Souls in hell are not utilized individually, or at least not often.  This hermit has not experienced a visit from a soul in hell, but it has been shown souls in hell--to view the scene, to see them in their agonies.  

On two occasions involving a total of three souls the hermit could identify from having known them when they were on earth, it was uncertain if they were in hell or in an anguished level of purgation.  Am trying to ponder if in any of the books read, there were instances in which a soul from hell made a visit or brought a message to one yet on earth.  Perhaps, though.  Will keep searching the memory.

This hermit, back when yet a Protestant, was told by a human person yet in unusual circumstances, that it would suffer greatly and would "teach".  When the possibility of teaching was viewed from a practical and secular sense, it could not fathom continuing its career in education as a teacher.  But the personage corrected that thought and said, "No, you will TEACH.  You will teach men and women how to stabilize their emotions through spirituality."

That was an odd way of stating what now is more concretized as helping others with their spiritual lives and spiritual journeys, by teaching them what I have learned from experience and have learned through study, and have learned through His Real Presence Who Is the Teacher and Creator of All good.  But when told of this aspect of the earthly mission, this hermit was not a hermit, was not a Catholic, and was not aware of other terminology.  Helping men and women stabilize their emotions through spirituality was neutral enough, then, so as to give a general grasp and that the teaching was not going to be of secular subjects.

Anyone can be the recipient of spiritual and mystical experiences and phenomenon.  It is for everyone, as God wishes to communicate with us fully and in all aspects, not just of the temporal.  The temporal is actually rather sluggish as a means because of all the distractions.  When the soul is opened up (that veil not so heavy or thick, the mirror not so foggy), more and more can come into the soul from His Real Presence, and then without needing to utilize manifestations of personages or audible voices, or tangible scents.

And, the soul can be opened more at some times than at others, and thus there is an inter-weaving of levels and types of communications.  The hermit's 91-year-old aunt, in a phone conversation the other day, appreciated hearing the message to this hermit from its grandmother, the aunt's mother.  The hermit was explaining also the perfume of the Holy Spirit.  The aunt said she wished she could experience that supernal scent some time.  The hermit mentioned perhaps not in the way it experienced it the other day because it came due to the hermit's being so taken down, so humbled, so painfully crushed and emptied.

Yet, the hermit does understand why people might desire such experiences, for they are lovely and profound at the sensory level.  Yet they do also signal that the soul is yet rather weak, or was in dire need of consolation, or yet is rather dense in faith and hope so as to require such a touch from God.  If the aunt keeps evolving so beautifully as she has in recent years, turning more and more to God and remaining gracious and loving and increasing in charity and virtues despite much suffering, perhaps she will be gifted with the gift of perfume upon her death or prior.  

This hermit is asking the favor of the Lord, for this aunt's faith, it would seem to this hermit (whose thoughts are ridiculously unwise considering God's omniscience!) a lovely bequest for her that would increase the aunt's faith all the more.  But what does this hermit know of all that?  Not a thing in certainty.  Just a lot of "it seems."

So, it seems from this hermit's personal experience with such matters as well as through a fair amount of reading of books written by those with experience whose experience has perdured for centuries, that mystical phenomenon and spiritual experiences of the numinous, occur because God chooses them for His purposes.  They include private or public:  messages of warning, instruction, desiring some change, increasing faith, and always bringing about some form of good.

That others or even the person receiving the experience do not understand, is all right.  Sometimes these matters take years to fully evolve or grasp, or to be proven correct, or to be understood in fullness of truth.

As to who receives these experiences, truly, each of us can.  Many of us may.  A few of us can and may more often than others.  Some possible reasons for the frequency may have to do with their personal needs, their level of spiritual acquisition, their mission in this life, and above all, just because God decides and determines.

There is no general rule as to if the mystical and spiritual experiences will continue, or how often, in what modality, or when.  Some might have one experience that is of the mysterium tremendom (or at least that they recognized) in their entire life.  Others may have many.  Yet others may never think they have--like people who claim they do not at all dream.  They simply do not remember, for one reason or another.  Some mystics with high degree of holiness attained while on earth (in religion called "saints") have suggested that as one progresses spiritually, the more developed soul no longer needs such means of God's reaching in, for the soul assimilates His communications more and more directly, as the soul's will becomes inculcated into His will.

Thus, it is not such the status thing at all, to have phenomenal experiences; and that is why this hermit readily admits that much of its spiritual experiences are due to its own weakness and neediness.  And being weak and needy is nothing anyone should encourage in his- or herself with the calculated hope of receiving spiritual phenomenon.  

With phenomenon-type communications from His Real Presence of Himself or through His emissaries, there is always an onus of responsibility.  Sometimes the person who receives is asked to share or to teach; sometimes (and probably most often) it is to make a personal, deeper conversion away from lack of love and turning to God Who Is Love.  Or, actually, there are many levels of purposes, for there always is a purpose of deeper conversion.

When the phenomenon become more public, there is more pain involved because there is much judgment.  This Catholic hermit realizes part of its purpose in being given spiritual and mystical experiences is for deeper conversion, yes, but also to teach others about such matters and including helping them learn to be aware, to grasp, and to discern and interpret their God-given experiences.  Really the spiritual is going on all around us, and He so wants to communicate more and more directly.  That is the way of true love between lovers.  And God so loves us!

After all, another consideration is just how phenomenal are any communications with God, and that leads into the value of prayer, of prayer reaching the affective phase of loving conversation and praising His Real Presence.  It also includes the consideration that each present moment provides from God, phenomenon that is holy and heavenly, even if not abnormal from our temporal familiarity.  

For example, it is a spiritual phenomenon that somehow the hermit got the name brought to mind:  John Climacus. And then it got the notion that it had that book in the boxes of books in the pole barn, and that it might be the book the older spiritual friend and the hermit ought read next.  But then the hermit discovered it did not have that book, and really knew nothing of John Climacus.  Yet in reading the preface, part of the introduction, and into the first rung of John's "ladder" of lessons on the soul's ascent to God, this book is "phenomenal."  And it is rather phenomenal how the choice evolved rather quickly.

This is a lengthy and meandering discussion, but hopefully and prayerfully it may help someone out there, in some way:  apply it to your lives; pray for your souls to open up to God's various ways of communicating; ask that your spiritual life grow and desire union with His Real Presence.  You will be heard, and the wheels will begin to roll. 

For this nothing hermit, stumbling along writing this post is humbling in the expression of that which is not easy to clarify or explain.  But leave it rambling, as is, with an added caveat that one tool of discerning spiritual and mystical experiences as more probable from God, is when they come unexpectedly and without the soul asking or without thinking along those lines.  Not in one's wildest dreams...would one think this or that would occur...yet it does.  In other words, live with our feet firmly on the ground.  Let God lead; we follow.

Also, there seems to be far too much fear of such things, and that is noted more in Catholic circles than in Protestant, from this now Catholic and now Catholic hermit's experience.  This may be due to Catholics associating having spiritual or mystical experiences of the supernatural or unusual modalities, with "canonized saints."  Protestants view them more as psychic phenomenon or some type of spiritual charism of which Paul writes.

In general, it is best to not discuss these experiences with others unless the Lord has given teaching as part of the mission, or writing.  Yes, this hermit, years and years ago back when a child, later in college, and then even later when told it would teach men and women how to stabilize their emotions through spirituality, was also then told it would write, and write much.  

While this soul has thought that would be in books, the other day when mentioning to a younger spiritual friend that it seems to not be doing the writing God desires of it, and is only doing this blog with so much manual labor needed for survival, the friend said the blog writing is certainly better than nothing.

Suppose this is true.  Hope it is, and hope it is helpful to others and pleasing to his Real Presence...Who is in us!  God bless His Real Presence in us!  Let us love one another and remain together in His Love, for God Is Love!

The Furniture Novena

A few days ago, a woman called.  She started the conversation with, "I know what you will probably say, but I want to ask you, anyway."

A few short months ago her mother-in-law had passed from this earthly life.  After the funeral, she and her husband met with his siblings to express which pieces of mostly humble, earthly possessions of their mother, they would like.  The siblings wrote down their desires, and there was agreement at the time...or so it seemed. 

The woman and her husband were to have a hutch, a bedroom set, and a desk.  Others had chosen other pieces of furniture and various items, mostly all of but sentimental value.

At this point, I knew the outcome.  We all can, based upon so many stories like this involving possessions of a deceased family member.  Greed and covetousness rear ugly heads.  Of the siblings, a daughter who lived near her mother and had access to the items, decided she and her two adult children should have what her brother and his wife were to have.

The woman (who called me) and her husband, had planned a vacation of which part would be to buy a trailer on Craigslist in order to pick up and bring back the stuff, a few hours' distance from the deceased mother's home.  But the ugliness of the possessions caper had turned the situation into upset and confusion.

At the time of her call, she felt bad that she had agreed with her husband to stick up for their rights and insist on what had been agreed would be their furniture bequest.  The woman did have good memories of her mother-in-law and her hutch, and her husband wanted his mother's bed set and desk.  And there is really no reason (other than sin) that his sister decided to take what was not agreed upon.

What to do?  Well, I pointed out that this is looking grim for the sister's soul.  We discussed how it is just furniture, just stuff, and any of it could be easily purchased elsewhere and for not a huge sum of money.  And this type of uproar is typical after the deceased is buried and the grief that can unite survivors has mellowed, and divisiveness over possessions begins to sprout.

It is a no-win situation on the temporal playing field.  If this couple gives in to the essential "theft" of what they were to have, they will have negative feelings and see the reality of the sister's greed and deceit.  If they show up and fight for what is rightfully theirs, by previous agreement, there will be ugliness in the confrontation, words exchanged, and perhaps even some force required.  Either way, relationships will be damaged.

 

We discussed the "high road," if both the woman and her husband could at all levels detach from the items, much as Jesus had recommended to the rich young man who asked what it would take to enter the kingdom of heaven.  At the time of the young man's asking, what Jesus said about relinquishing possessions (and this can be within the soul's attachment as well as in tangible letting go), was too much for the rich young man to do, at least just yet.

Since the husband in this current situation was not one to give in to wrongs, he also was prone to not ask his wife's input on matters.  My asked-for-opinion thinking it best to let the husband deal with the issue in the way he wanted, which was then to get the trailer and go to his late mother's house, and attempt to get the items.  This was to be done in conjunction with the couple's vacation.  I pointed out the possessions might not be there when they arrive, as the sister knew they were planning to come to that area in a week. 

The woman who had called me was in distress for added reasons.  She said in part she felt guilty for having wanted the hutch in the first place.  Well, that is not a horrible sin, for it is very human to appreciate and desire tangible reminders of those we love and who have loved us.  And how many of us can suddenly have that kind of utmost detachment?  But we talked a bit more, and I pointed out that we are getting older, and literally, "what on earth" are we going to do with the "stuff" we already have, let alone more stuff?

We agreed that their week of vacation and the days leading into it, and possibly the days following, are now and could be fraught with tension.  The could be depends upon the woman and her husband's letting it get to them.  

But again, the main issue in all this seemed to me to be the state of the sister's soul, for this was an ugly mess caused by her wanting what was not agreed upon to be hers in addition to what she had taken already.  How sad a soul so needy of tangibles, so attached to more than enough for touchstones of her mother's memory!

Prayer would be the only balm for the couple's peace of mind and their own spiritual progression, and most importantly, for the deeper conversion of the sister's soul.  The woman (a spiritual friend) was distracted by all the emotions that go along with such issues.  (We all know what it feels like to have inner--and outer--peace disrupted.) 

The idea came:  Offer a furniture novena.  I suppose it came to mind due to recently praying the potato novena [previous post mentions this, or a video sharing].  I suggested that she and I select a piece of furniture in our own abodes--one that has some kind of meaning due to memories associated.  We would keep the prayer simple and tactile.  Lay a hand on whatever piece of furniture and simply repeat a Hail Mary.  Do this once a day for nine days.  (We each know the history of and Christian, Biblical symbolism for the "nine"--as in the nine days between Christ's ascension and Pentecost.)

On the second day of our prayer-across-the-miles, the woman emailed that she was in great distress again, feeling even more guilty that she had ever wanted her mother-in-law's hutch; and she reported her husband had decided to fight for his rightful possessions, his portion of personal effects from his mother's estate.   The woman's conscience was bothering her, and she had asked the Lord to give her another chance to somehow influence her husband's decision which was to demand tangible justice.

I emailed back that we should keep to our furniture prayer, and that right then if she could lay her hand on a piece of furniture in her house and ask Mary to help calm her upset, I would do likewise where I am.   Surely Mary would come to her aid immediately.

The next email I received was a day later.  The woman had done the praying, the laying on of hands, and peace within occurred.  But an outward miracle also occurred:  her husband had come home from work, showed her some photos of a trailer he intended to purchase so they could haul the furniture home.  However, he then he did what is rare if ever:  he asked her opinion on what he should do.  (Seriously, this is not like the husband at all.  He does not go in for praying, and he calls the shots.)

She had asked the Lord to give her another chance for input with her husband on the furniture snafu, and He gave it to her.  When given this moment, she told her husband to let his sister have whatever, and that they can go on their vacation and let all that other go. 

In another miracle, her husband agreed!

But the woman had been thinking much since our conversation.  All the more she realized that her sister's soul is endangered by what she had done, even though to others it may seem like a small matter and so very typical in estate situations.  So we are continuing the Furniture Novena, specifically now for the sister's soul and for conversion of mind, heart, and spirit--not for the furniture ordeal.

It is not that the "gimmick" of laying hands on a piece of furniture and praying a short Hail Mary is the gist here.  It is that of faith and of the simplicity of heart in the praying, that seems to be pleasing to God.  It includes the beautiful memories of people and created things and their usefulness.  We each are finding delight in praying with tangible "touchstones" but not as a heaviness or laborious effort.  We can think of the carpenter's Son, and add to that an intensity of desire for the good of souls: the woman, her husband, the sister, her adult children, for my own soul as well as all souls who have or will have these types of "furniture" or possession problems.

When I laid my hand upon (here very dusty, move-damaged, stacked and stored) furniture, the pieces I touch each have some memory included--either of who built the furniture such as in one my great-great-grandfather built, or in a $2 chair purchased at a yard sale four decades ago when I was first married.  That chair I refinished and reupholstered the seat, and it was a chair my eldest daughter sat on while at her desk doing homework during high school years.

Another was my harp stool, with thoughts of earlier desires to play but wondering if ever having this place habitable enough to take it out of protective packing.  Another is this twin bed which a neighbor gave me for my first house when married. Later, several years after the divorce, it a man with a drinking problem but needed work, refinished it. My second daughter slept in this bed through teen years.  I am in it as I write this!

Now, these details mean nothing to anyone else, but hopefully we can  grasp that somehow touching the items and praying for the resolution of the nasty situation brewing for my friend and her husband and his sister's soul, has touched my soul, my life.  It is all very good. 

And in faith, as we continue the Furniture Novena for another few days (lost count, but that does not matter), I am sure the sister's soul will be affected even if we never know or see outcomes.  For one thing, it will not be for the furniture or needing it for practical purposes or for sentiment.  The couple has overcome that "world."

And in another thought, these are some of the ways that the Lord interacts in our lives, and how we can talk with Him, interact with Him, and touch and be touched.  He talks with us; He guides our actions; and He lays out our path in little details and truly miraculous (even if nuanced) outcomes.  

These and more are God's miracles. 

No surprise, this Word reminder in Psalm 85, this morning:

"The Lord will give what is good,
   and our land will yield its increase.
Righteousness will go before him,
   and will make a path for his steps."