Catholic Hermit: Transition Phase

Usually like to write these out to absorb them more myself through the typing each word rather than simply posting, but am in major transition plus pain to go with it, so this is it for now.  So meaningful and worth deeply considering and taking to heart, though.  Also have been watching video documentaries of early saints and desert fathers and mothers, and of tracing the steps in actuality of locations of the development of hermitic life as well as the Jesus Prayer. 

Resting in bed, of which I am quite a bit really, since the surgery last July.  The protocol seems to be my body up and trying to do a little effort one day or pushing it a little for two days--just something simple like a couple hours' effort of manual task or to drive to run an errand for supplies--and then a day or more in bed with much pain.  But last night quite a dream including a waking vision that I've sorted through, understanding the major parts and message.  But yes, great shift in major way, transition phase spiritually that of course affects the temporal, also.

Saint Theodore the Studite (759-826)

Follow the path to heaven!

Day by day follow God's path, keeping him closely attached to you by his promise. In fact he himself said, through the mediation of his apostles, to all those who seek his will and his testimonies (Ps 118[119]:31 LXX), that he would be with them until the end of the world (Mt 28:20) where paths and footsteps will be unknown (cf, Ps 76:20), as the divine David said in his songs. Yet, in an invisible way, he is present to the eyes of the mind, making himself seen by those who have a pure heart and conversing with them. So pursue your path (…). Take the wings of the love of God to fly like the clouds (cf. Is 60:8), raised above the obstacles of this earth. Anoint your feet with the oil of joy (cf. Ps 44:8) and temperance. Do not hinder the Lord's narrow way with your dragging feet. If you are thirsty in your pusillanimity, drink the water of patience (cf. Sir 15:3); if you are hungry in your spiritual sluggishness, eat the bread that nourishes and strengthens the heart of man (cf. Ps 103[104]:15), a word of wisdom and courage. Hitch up your garment and be ready for action, look up and don't burden yourself with those oppressive loads which are your evil desires. For, for anyone who is accomplishing the journey from earth to heaven, it is enough to diligently pursue one's path without assuming extra weight. (…) Be strong in the Lord; go up to the mountain of God, to his holy house (Is 2:3) with Isaiah the cantor, the prophet with such a powerful voice. Let none remain behind, none sit down; help one another, everyone rooted in a firm charity.

Catholic Hermit: Advice for Pandemic Endurance

The daily Mass Scriptures through this Lent and this COVID-19 pandemic are uncanny in their potency of spiritual and practical sustenance for us all.  And from St. Theodore the Studite, monk at Constantinople (859-826), this portion from his Catechesis I also provides, also, spiritual and practical focus for us.

"It is our task and, in our case, an obligation to make of you the oboject of all our care, our zeal, our ministrations, by word and deed, by warnings, encouragement, admonitions and incitement...so that, in this way, we might insert you into the rhythm of the divine will and face you towards the goal set before us:  to give pleasure to God....

"He who is immortal voluntarily shed His blood.  He who created the host of angels was bound at the hands of soldiers, and He who is to judge the living and the dead was dragged to justice (cf. Acts 10:42; 2 Tm 4:1).  Truth was exposed to false witnesses, was slandered, struck covered with spittle, hung on the wood of the cross:  the Lord of glory (cf. 1 Cor 2:8) endured every outrage and suffering without himself needing these trials.  

"How could this have happened to Him who even as a man, was without sin and who, to the contrary, snatched us away from the tyranny of the sin through which death came into the world and falsely took possession of our first father?

"So there is nothing surprising about it if we submit to even one of these trials since such is our condition....  Therefore, we too have to be offended and tempted, afflicted by the cutting off of our wills.  According to the interpretation of our Fathers, there is in this a shedding of blood for this is what it means to be a monk [hermit, lay person, a Christian, a citizen of country and of the world].  And we must gain the Kingdom of heaven in that way by spending our lives in imitation of the Lord....  Apply yourselves zealously to your duties in the thought that by means of them, far from being slaves of men, you are serving God."

In short, and bluntly, let us all humble ourselves and sacrifice at this time.  STAY IN if you absolutely do not have to go out and about.  The person in neighborhood yesterday texted they're going out again and had gone to stores plus out hiking with pets day prior.  Said felt "great--only has runny nose!"  This is after two days over weekend of chills, then sore throat, headache, sore glands and chills. Yesterday list of symptoms to be concerned with, at top of list is:  runny nose.  The person is  over 65 with underlying lung issues; seems incapable of just staying home.

Awhile ago was calling me; I did not answer.  Figured the person was going out yet again shopping, and no, I do not need a thing.  Nor will I.  I have more than enough to make do for a long time, and if my COVID-19 test comes back negative, I will go out on the patio and plant vegetable seeds including greens and radishes that will be edible in a couple or three weeks.  Have canned goods and dried fruit if go through what's in the refrigerator.  

Sure enough, that is what the person was calling about.  My rather pointed text yesterday morning--CONSIDER STAYING IN--did not make a dent nor did it insult enough to get the contacting me to cease.  Given that the virus stays on plastics up to three days and might end up being longer, and  it stays on paper and cardboard for 24 hours, I do not want even more items at my door I'd need to be wiping down from someone with a runny nose or anything else.  

Yesterday I did locate a new doctor, an internist, for future.  But the ER doctor insisted I be rechecked in two days, yet the internist's office had to involve the triage nurse, who needed to determine with others how to accommodate someone who is under COVID-19 test result watch.  They were going to have to develop a protocol to get someone with all the symptoms and ill, into their facility somehow.  In the meantime, I decided there is no way that I have the oomph to go out, nor do I want to potentially infect others with COVID, nor with whatever I have.

Today I called them and said I believe the ER doctor was going by usual ER policy, of the patient needing to get a re-check by doctor in 1-2 days.  If I were worse, I'd return to ER.  I'm not worse.  I am thinking positively that I've turned the corner, but in the night I awoke in a sweat and needed to use the nebulizer.  So I'm not over this, either.  Only two temperature upticks or surges today, which is down from prior.  Third day of the Azithromycin, the cough pills are helping me not cough as much, the lungs still hurt but I'm thinking positively that not quite as much or at least not more.

The internist's office was relieved and appreciative to my decision.  I had the sense at the ER on Monday afternoon, that they were still working through some of their protocol and had not had that many come in yet with the coronavirus symptoms.  I'm sure they'd had some, as the nurse who did the swabs (that go wa-a-a-y up the nose into the sinuses, so not the simple, painless swab test I'd anticipated--and in the throat more extensive than a typical strep swab) said I handled it better than others she'd done up to then.  I tried to insert levity by saying my having to be on pain meds helps. Humor helps.

My main efforts from bed have been to write elsewhere online and communicate with others via email and text, sharing what I'm learning and what I was told to do and not do.  I plan to write a blog post that gives example of what is entailed in wiping off surfaces.  That in itself is quite the chore, and I've not been well enough to have wiped everything fully, once.  The more stamina I gain as I improve, the more I can be up and wiping this and that with antibacterial bleach wipes.  Today I realized need to be disinfecting toothbrush heads.  Soak them in peroxide after each use.

After falling back to sleep from my 3 a.m. wake-up, I awoke this morning with my left eye seemingly infected.  What?  I did rub the heavy matter off before realizing not to touch eyes; was still sleepy.  But I realized that I'd not wiped my glaucoma drop bottle, and more so, I'd not wiped the tip that touches my eyelids when I put drops in at night.  I also had not wiped the inside of the cap which the tip touches when the cap screwed back on the bottle.  Thankfully, I had some antibiotic eye drops and am praying that they are yet viable as had them a couple years ago when got splinter in my eye.

So I think some practical reminders and sharing what I'm learning as I go along, while waiting for the COVID-19 test results, might be useful to you readers.  Even if you are not ill, we could all adopt some preventative measures as we, hope-in-God, are sheltering in place unless vital we venture out--and this for any age group.  

Daily more research is uncovering additional information.  In Italy, Spain, and France there are young people now showing serious symptoms and testing positive to the virus.  These are young people who previously were quite healthy and no underlying conditions.  This virus seems to be evolving, unfolding, and even shifting in symptoms and severity among age groups.

Let us consider--while we do the practical actions to help keep others and ourselves well or not getting worse, not contaminating others--reading over and pondering what St. Theodore the Studite taught his monks and left for the ages his writings that can serve us all well in this global pandemic of which no one has experienced prior.  As is said by the US President's Task Force, the President, and many state leaders and religious figures:  "We are all in this together, and together we will overcome." 

But we will succeed by all of us turning to God and by being willing to humble ourselves and sacrifice our own fears and what can truly seem selfish wants.  Cooperate with what the Task Force recommends.  Stay in unless necessary and crucial we go out, preserve the health of medical personnel and law enforcement, stay calm and trust in the Lord, and PRAY and PRAISE GOD.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Holy Words to Help Us Through Coronavirus

St. Theodore the Studite (monk at Constantinople, 759-826, has written words that build faith and confidence in Christ, in his Catecheses that he wrote for benefit of the many monks in his monastery and others.  His words are worth sharing without comment otherwise, as they can focus us through the coronavirus (COVID-19) crisis, now a pandemic.


"Your task is an angelic one.  If we have to endure a few trials, if we have to mortify ourselves a little, let us be patient for a short time longer.  Here already is the goal and term of our lives:  we shall be carried away by the holy angels and will be a in joy for eternity, co-heirs with all the saints of all the good things promised us (cf. Heb 11:9)....

"That is why from now on we patiently accept whatever happens to us; for we will receive eternal happiness in exchange in the same way as misfortune will recompense those who do evil.  May heave preserve us from the suffering of hearing:  'You received what was good during your lifetime...but now this man is comforted' and 'between us and you a great chasm is established' (Lk 16:25, 26).  Isn't it a terrible thing to hear and imagine these divine sentences, separating the sinner from the just?  The distance, the abyss, the loss and the fall of those who are in sin distances them from the Lord our God as the heavens are higher than the earth (cf. Is 55:9).

"But those who, like yourselves, ardently desire every day to be his friends and true servants will enter with him into the celestial dwellings, into the Jerusalem on high (cf. Gal 4:26), the great city, filled with unimaginable marvels, to which a glory without end and an eternal power are joined.  There we will see each other and know ourselves perfectly.  And I believe that, if we fulfill the will of God, we shall all be together in eternal joy....

"May you also conduct yourselves in an angelic manner, clinging to the arm of God that fortitues you, to the encouragement of the Holy Spirit who strengthens you, to the holy angels, to all the martyrs and saints blessed by God who come to your aid."   

These are ideal and holy words which are reflection of Scripture--the Living Word of God--for helping one and all of us to adopt in mind, heart, and soul to focus and uplift us through the coming days and weeks and perhaps some months.  We are all in this together!  Pray healing, sensibility, wisdom, and deeper conversions to God for everyone throughout the whole world.

God bless His Real Presence!

Catholic Hermit: COVID-19 Trial, and Thoughts from St. Theodore

The news of the world is that of COVID-19, or coronavirus.  I've had my own dismay with the unexpected actions of some in medical response even to my own virus or whatever it is.  Head jammed, but intermittent body chills and low fever, and bad cough last week but much improved.  

However, I had incompetence with a nurse practitioner who ended up sending two antibiotic prescriptions to pharmacy, one of which I've mentioned previously I cannot take as causes immediate vomiting.  (Is a more common side effect of that particularly med of which I'd said, but the NP sent that particular med along with the one she told me prescribing.  Pharmacist caught it; one is not to have two antibiotics at once without specialist determining such a need.)  The antibiotic that I'd never had prior, I did purchase, but yesterday morning was so ill upon waking--ill in odd ways including bad nausea--that I instinctively knew (my Angel Beth!) not to take the morning dose or I'd not make it to the DO appointment (Doctor of Osteopathy, in group of MD's).  

But the DO only saw in the notes he was sent via internet, the antibiotic that I cannot take being prescribed, although I said both had been and gave him the name of the one I did purchase.  (And it was in the report, on first page, that I received from the Nurse Practitioner, but the other was not.  I admit the DO's doubting my explanation and the pharmacist's having two antibiotic scripts from the NP, and trusting the NP, was rather stunning.) Regardless, the DO said the antibiotic that I did have even if he was quite confused that I did not take the one that I cannot keep down--that the antibiotic I took two doses was not at all what he'd prescribe for sinus infection.

As I had with the NP the day prior, I gave my other symptoms:  off and on chills and low fever, bad cough last week and very ill then, still have the chills and low fever now and then and still cough, lungs hurt in bronchial area. Mentioned having been on plane and across aisle from travelers having been in Asia, and became ill a few days after that, with plane back what erupted the sinus issues.  I mention these details as I have both appointments  noted the dismissive or minimizing attitudes of the NP and then the DO.  My lungs sounded clear, so not pneumonia, which I knew.  But I considered that we hear now of movie stars Tom Hanks and his wife, with far lesser symptoms than mine.

So I feel we are in trouble when NP's, PA's, and DO's, plus MD's are the ones determining who gets tested, for their own notions of what they think is of concern obviously varies greatly. No doubt many people are slipping through; I do agree at least for now people freaking out with no symptoms do not need testing.  But I fit all the symptoms despite also having sinuses stuffed, and am old, to boot!  If the antibiotic that he did prescribe does not help (of which has not worked for me in more distant past, I will go to the nearby ER (emergency room) which is not typically busy and has some MD's available.  

Someone just called to see how I was progressing, and thought surely I would have been tested for COVID-19 having been ill for 12 days or so, with symptoms up and down.  We laughed the laugh of stunned awe at how oddly ludicrous I was not tested.  But we agreed I'd go to ER if this does not improve or definitely if worsens.  My major concern is for people out there going to medical professionals with symptoms, and the varying determining factors for a test dependent upon the individual persons, some quite young and little experience, some with personalities that want to low-key matters, and maybe some who might be too cautious--although in this pandemic it seems to err on side of caution than not.

Needless to say, I will once again, when have a bit more energy, call around to try to find an MD or Internist who might be taking new patients.  The DO is too far for my "back" to be driving.  Yesterday it was all I could do to shakily get into hermitage and back in bed after DO and yet another trip to Walmart for the Augmentin. 

(And there, the older of the pharmacists remembered the ridiculous situation from the NP the day before, and agreed that when we become older, young medical personnel tend to think we no longer have our wits about us.  They tend to resent if we are familiar with fairly well-known antibiotics or are able to say what has worked or not worked.  I do know now not to ever try Clarithromycin; awful side effects including nausea to point of vomiting after two doses; pharmacist said she cannot take it--horrible side effects.)

I'm not concerned other than want to get better, of course.  I've read that if COVID-19, one is sick usually at least two weeks and can be up to 4-6 weeks for those with more serious cases.  My lungs still hurt--yes, even if they sound "clear" and I'm not coughing nearly as much.  I have it now to what I consider sinus drainage cough in upper chest, but sometimes yet it is a dry, hacking cough.  However, again, I find alarming my two experiences with symptoms and going to Urgent Care and doctor's office, even if the decision-makers being a nurse practitioner and a DO.

I will be best remaining in as I have been in for 12 days and prior to that was also inside even if not in my hermitage.  When I went on visit, I was out only short jaunts in three of 10 days.  One for watching a swim meet for three hours, and another to ride along to drop off youngsters for their soccer practice, then to a book store for the children to choose books, and later to dine out.  Not focusing on the hermit part of me which is immense, but even due to pain situation, I'm a very simple guest!  God provides!  It is no problem for me to be more hidden on a rare visit to family than in my return with these medical appointments and pharmacy trips!

The upshot of this blog post is to give one person's--a hermit's--experiences with illness and potentially, seemingly, having a form of COVID-19 but may never know for sure, and how the Lord guides in global pandemic with all the ramifications and outcomes that have people panicking or at minimum, uncertain, worried, and confused.

St. Theodore the Studite (monk at Constantinople, 759-826, has written words that build faith and confidence in Christ, in his Catecheses that he wrote for benefit of the many monks in his monastery and others.  (His life history is fascinating.  Can read about him online by Googling his name.  His writings and developing of largest library and scriptoriums in Byzantium is one of his major contributions among others.)

"Your task is an angelic one.  If we have to endure a few trials, if we have to mortify ourselves a little, let us be patient for a short time longer.  Here already is the goal and term of our lives:  we shall be carried away by the holy angels and will be a in joy for eternity, co-heirs with all the saints of all the good things promised us (cf. Heb 11:9)....

"That is why from now on we patiently accept whatever happens to us; for we will receive eternal happiness in exchange in the same way as misfortune will recompense those who do evil.  May heave preserve us from the suffering of hearing:  'You received what was good during your lifetime...but now this man is comforted' and 'between us and you a great chasm is established' (Lk 16:25, 26).  Isn't it a terrible thing to hear and imagine these divine sentences, separating the sinner from the just?  The distance, the abyss, the loss and the fall of those who are in sin distances them from the Lord our God as the heavens are higher than the earth (cf. Is 55:9).

"But those who, like yourselves, ardently desire every day to be his friends and true servants will enter with him into the celestial dwellings, into the Jerusalem on high (cf. Gal 4:26), the great city, filled with unimaginable marvels, to which a glory without end and an eternal power are joined.  There we will see each other and know ourselves perfectly.  And I believe that, if we fulfill the will of God, we shall all be together in eternal joy....

"May you also conduct yourselves in an angelic manner, clinging to the arm of God that fortitues you, to the encouragement of the Holy Spirit who strengthens you, to the holy angels, to all the martyrs and saints blessed by God who come to your aid."   

These are ideal and holy words which are reflection of Scripture--the Living Word of God--for helping one and all of us to adopt in mind, heart, and soul to focus and uplift us through the coming days and weeks and perhaps some months.  We are all in this together!

God bless His Real Presence!