Lent is upon us: first full week. It is a good time to die!
Someone emailed of a most frustrating morning. Seemed as if not one thing went easily, from having a doctor's appointment for an alarming lump, to arriving at the doctor's office in a nearby town and the doctor having called in sick. The receptionist had called to let the patient know, but the patient did not recognize the number as was some other line in the office that was used for the call. Then late for work as a result, and some glitch occurred inexplicably with a cash register. Patience point had been breached!
Here, for this nothing consecrated (in Jesus) Catholic hermit (legitimacy per CL603 to be determined and already off to an odd start with a first hurdle not prudently feasible), the visit is coming to a close, and it will be a long time if ever will be visiting the loved ones again. Much depends on the pain situation of this nothing's body. Perhaps if the pain pump is surgically installed, but that remains a nebulous "if" and is also quite a surgery in itself.
The neurosurgeon performs intricate and skilled work to install a hockey-size puck in the abdomen, under the skin--the easy part--but then making an incision in the back to insert a tube that goes carefully through the spinal sheathing and into the spinal column itself, but not too far in--has to be "just right". The other end of the tub then goes around the side to the front, within the tissues, and into the pump. Six weeks recovery which is much less than the length of the spinal surgery recovery. But the bending, twisting, and not lifting more than 5 lbs. will require some discipline; the patient must not jeopardize the pump or the tube moving out of position.
But it is within the soul that the most masterful and intricate work of all is performed, and that is by each of us, within our own selves, our innermost place: our ver own soul. I'm finding these excerpts written in the 5th c. by Hsychios the Sinaite, a monk of the monastery at Vatos, to be mindful helps to prepare me for the work necessary to be done within my soul this Lent.
(I need worthwhile distraction to take my mind away from the frustration of sorts, or the wonderment at least--as to why the Lord would allow an infeasible hurdle for me, right out of the gate in my desire to fulfill the desires of my bishop as to the hermit vocation within this diocese. The Lord knows my pain situation as well as my genuine desire to align my spiritual aspects of hermit vocation with the temporal aspects of CL603 which has become the norm for hermits and surely will continue to be from here on out as long as our temporal world exists.)
What Hesychios wrote is chock-full of points to ponder in what God gives us as a model for a holy life, of the facets of our soul's battle against the demons and to successfully overcome through these holy facets such as humility, fasting, prayer, and watchfulness. I plan to return to these lines from Hesychios the Sinaite's Chapters on Watchfulness nos. 12, 20, and 40. I will break them apart by sentences, by thoughts, by facets in words and meaning, then mull and ponder, pray and pray to put into practicum within my soul and my mind, heart, and actions.
Perhaps this is the time to get out some index cards or Post-it Notes to place around the hermitage to remind me, to focus me for the battle of the soul to win out over what hinders me from winning Christ through full trust in Christ in all matters of life and soul!
"Through his incarnation God gave us the model for a holy life and recalled us from our ancient fall. In addition to many other things, he taught us, feeble as we are, that we should fight against the demons with humility, fasting, prayer and watchfulness (cf. Mt 17:21). For when, after his baptism, he went into the desert and the devil came up to him as though he were merely a man (cf. Mt 4:3), he began his spiritual warfare by fasting and won the battle by this means--though being God, and God of gods, he had no need of any such means at all....
"Someone engaged in spiritual warfare should simultaneously possess humility, perfect attentiveness, the power of rebuttal, and prayer. He should possess humility because, as his flight is against the arrogant demons, he will then have the help of Christ in his heart, for 'the Lord hates the arrogant' (cf. Prv 3:34). He should possess attentiveness in order always to keep his heart clear of all thoughts, even of those that appear to be good. He should possess the power of rebuttal so that, wherever he recognizes the devil he may at once repulse him angrily; for it is written: 'And I shall reply to those who vilify me; will not my soul be subject to God?' (Pss 119:42; 62:1). He should possess prayer so that as soon as he has rebutted the devil he may call to Christ with 'cries that cannot be uttered' (cf. Rm 8:26). Then he will see the devil broken and routed by the venerable name of Jesus--will see him and his dissimulation scattered like dust or smoke before the wind....
"Let your soul, then, trust in Christ, let it call on him and never fear. For it does not fight alone but with the aid of a mighty King, Jesus Christ, Creator of all that is, both bodiless and embodied, visible and invisible."
God bless His Real Presence in us this Lent and always!
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