Was able to drive to Mass on this Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God.
Someone had early morning texted this quote of St. Padre Pio: "Always stay close to this Heavenly Mother, because she is the sea to be crossed to reach the shores of Eternal Splendor.
My relationship with Mary has been, as various other facets of my recent life have been: Distracted.
In present moment considerations of negative situations, negative relationships, and my self needing examination, honest and realistic, of my own negativity, clearing out distractions that are negative, will open my mind, heart, and soul all the more, again and of increase, my love and recognition of Mary. She is with us, with you, with me. She is a treasured guide and mentor, a true mother, in our knowing and loving her Son, Our Lord, Jesus Christ.
When I pray for deeper conversions, it is Mary, Mother of God, who facilitates conversions and deeper conversions. Remember? She is the Catalytic Converter of our relationship in Christ.
In the day chapel, which I intentionally do not turn on the light but get the television turned on to its live-streaming what will and does occur in the sanctuary, at the altar during Mass, a young man came in despite being yet room in the main apse of the Church--people pouring into the church this morning, January 1, to celebrate Mass and honor Mary as Theotokis: Greek for God-bearer.
The young man carries immense weight. He was on other side of chapel, yes, but in same pew row. He seemed to have no desire, either, to have the ceiling lights turned on; he was self-conscious of his weight, I sensed. At some point later, after Mass began and after I was in the mystical ecstasy which surely looks like a person having dozed off, not moving, others had entered. Someone turned on the light, for it was on after all but the young man and I remained after Mass.
I felt a deep connection with the man, perhaps in his 20's, again, extremely heavy. He spoke as I stood up to leave, and we looked at one another, seemingly sharing a sense of knowing--perhaps that we each have reasons to have come into the dark day chapel and preferring it to remain darkened. The others, whomever with sounds of children, switched on the lights even though the large-screen television was even better viewed without overhead lights. A difference of preference but also indicative of the young man's and my subtler reasons for embracing hiddenness.
I've kept the young man and his needs, whatever they may be, in my heart all day and now into the night. God bless him, and may Mary dispense whatever graces he is desiring and needing on this first day of new calendar year and new decade of temporal time and of our earthly lives.
An email came from the professor I had great privilege of being instructed by her expertise on John of the Cross, in Catholic University of Avila, summer of 2005. She had emailed a review of The Phoenix of Rennes: the Life and Poetry of John of St. Samson. The professor inquired about another written work she'd sent; but I have not received it, or have not located it, if it is in my laptop, anyway. Her inquiry of a few days ago as to wanting an update of my health, I had answered, and thanked her for the review which is her excellent work, published.
Yes, once again, God has provided, and on this day, Mary, as well, is giving me uplifting direction and guidance as to what is better and best for my mind, heart, and soul. And in these, the body, also, is uplifted intrinsically.
Jean du Moulin, or after he became a lay brother of the Carmelite Ancient Observance--John of St. Samson--was born into privilege, but at age 3 he became blind for life from effects of Small Pox. Despite blindness, he attended school and learned at least rudimentary Latin and French literature. At age 10, his parents died. He moved in with his maternal uncle's family, and there discovered and developed his unusual musical talents. By age 12 he was playing the organ in his birth town (Sens) church and had mastered several other instruments.
Around age 15, Jean lived with an elder brother, in Paris. In the nine years with his brother, Jean became spiritually immersed in prayer and other aspects of the spiritual life, to his great benefit. By 1606, his brother died. Jean, age 25, was homeless, living on the streets of Paris.
However, he heard of the Carmelites of the Ancient Observance and their reform in the post-reformation era; he was accepted (and desired by them!) as a lay brother, taking the name John of St. Samson. He became a leader through his spiritual writings, his liturgical poetry, his musical talents shared, and also his ability to assist greatly in the Carmelite reform.
Well, I can attest to the fact that I delight and find inspiration and great hope in God from lives of those who suffered and yet persevered and produced positive good in their lives. One of today's saints is St. Basil the Great, Doctor of the Church and Bishop, 4th c. and close friend of St. Gregory of Nazianzen. St. Basil was known to have suffered greatly in his life--including by those who did not like his honesty in speaking and writing truth, when so many humans do not want to face realities or themselves. He was a great proponent of exposing the Arian Heresy and helping to cause it's demise.
Off with my body to the pain doctor, due to thinking perhaps would be good to be referred to gastrointestinal specialist. But no, instead there is another new medication to try. The doctor still thinks the problem is something that can be reversed with trying this new type of medication. We will find out tomorrow morning after Mass (praying can drive and sit and celebrate) when I go to pharmacy and find out, how much this one costs. Similar to the other medication that did nothing and was shockingly high-cost. I could not afford that, and especially not for a gamble since the sample did did not work.
The temporal world and our temporal bodies are ever to be dealt with as prayerfully and positively as possible. Such is what tethers us yet to this world when our hearts and minds and souls yearn for heaven.
I loved reading what St. Gertrude the Great wrote about her love of Mary, the Mother of God. How I have been distracted by my bodily suffering and the distractions of sorrowful and negative persons and situations. Now is, after all, in temporal time and world, the beginning of a new decade!
God bless His Real Presence in us! Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us!
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