Ah, dear Lord--so loving, so helpful, so present, always.
This morning's first glimpse into Scriptures and other spiritual reading cheered me all the more with what popped up in The Catechism selection.
2848 "Lead us not into temptation' implies a decision of the heart: 'For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.... No one can serve two masters.' 'If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.' In this assent to the Holy Spirit the Father gives us strength. 'No testing has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, so that you may be able to endure it.'"
Nearly six hours of sleep last night, of which I'm most grateful. Still way too much pain makes it most difficult to get up from the icy pad on the bed to attempt much other than got a mug of hot green tea, then back down.
I was going to walk to the mailbox, but the tiny bottle of eye drops had fallen off nightstand and verily flew under the bed. I tried what the physical therapist had demonstrated to me as a means to get down, when I might need to in future. That future seemed now. I managed it all right, in the doing of that present moment. I was able to keep back straight once I had both knees on floor. Then I could better see where the eye drop bottle was located and used the long reacher-grabber tool to pluck it out from mid-way under bed.
Getting back up seemed not terribly painful, as I did as the therapist had demonstrated. However, once up, the pain flared. Obviously, I have not done any damage as far as the instrumentation goes, or so I'd think not. But to have the pain leap to extreme so rapidly, tells me I was quite premature to attempt such a feat.
In a simplistic way, I made a decision of the heart. I decided to attempt a physical movement; I realize this example is weak! Yet, I wanted to try it, for my motivation factor is in need of some type of success, of a show that I am not giving up, not giving in to pain and the invalidism with which pain has shackled my body.
Of course, the above commentary from The Catechism has more pertinent implications in our spiritual lives, in our relationship with the Holy Spirit and in our desire and decision of the heart to seek God above all things. However, there is much relevance in our daily temptations that are ever so human and involve tangible aspects of being human and living among humans on this temporal earth.
I've always wondered about that statement, meant to reassure, that God will not allow us to be tempted beyond our strength. As an adult who has lived going on seven decades, I have life examples of people who obviously were tempted beyond their strength. Their temptation led to a means of escape so they could endure, true enough; but it was an escape that removed them from what ended up being too difficult for them to endure. They escaped, though, yes, through choosing to escape life by taking their temporal lives.
The key, however, is the fact that God is faithful. If we live by the Spirit we will walk by the Spirit; this, too, is key. And also, the reality that we cannot serve two masters is a key to reminding us of that most crucial decision of the heart. We must choose to serve His Real Presence: God the Father, God the Son Jesus Christ, and God the Holy Spirit. Choosing God, we will turn to Him when making the decision of the heart, for He is in our hearts and we are in His.
This is our faith, our faith in God. In this assent--in this going to God, choosing God, in the moments in which we are tempted seemingly beyond what we can endure, God reaches in and gives us His strength. Yet why do some people who love God very much, still end up on the wrong side of temptation--yielding to a temptation to end their own earthly existence?
Perhaps it has to do with making the decision of the heart. Making a decision involves thought and time to think. Making a decision of the heart involves including God in our decision, for a believer in Christ has a heart in which He abides and remains. I'm thinking that making a decision of the heart involves waiting. We must wait for our assent to the Holy Spirit and wait for God to give us His strength, wait while pondering His faithfulness, and wait for His faithfulness to provide God's way of our escape.
Wait for God's way of escaping not only the temptation such as to despair, but also wait for Him to provide the way of escaping the trial, the time of testing. There we have it again: the time of testing. Time is involved, and it takes time to wait.
We must learn and resolve not only to make decisions always of the heart when faced with testing that temptation always brings, but to wait and take the time necessary in all that matters when making a decision of the heart. Wait. Wait for God's strength, wait for God's illumination as to the why and how and the what of the testing we must endure as well as to discern trial from temptation.
God strengthens us in the tiniest of details that perhaps take being slowed down, laid up, debilitated while int he silence of solitude to take note of His details. Right after I made the decision of heart (and really, all decisions ought be made of the heart; is a worthy practice), I stood by nightstand and cleared away a few papers which had been on the far side of stand since before the surgery. They had been covered over by medical items. Amidst the papers were two small notecards sent by a friend back in mid-June, I think. I offered a prayer, for I'm finding with this on-going level of more pain I often need tactile reminders for whom and what to pray.
Then I headed out to the kitchen to get the mug of tea, the sharper pain from my knees-on-floor trial move causing me to forego trying to finish a wedding note I had started writing, with my standing at kitchen counter to do so.
The phone rang. It was this friend with whom I'd not spoken in nearly a year! I told her how amazing is the Holy Spirit--first words from my mouth. Then I told her not three minutes prior I'd uncovered her note cards from under papers on my nightstand--notes she'd written and sent in early summer. She'd forgotten, but we each exclaimed the glory of the Holy Spirit in the spontaneity of her calling me just then. That "God is great" seems a lack luster statement, but there are no words beyond great other than various synonyms of "great", to adequately express His greatness!
Just writing about the invaluable help to my mind, heart, and soul that the above selection form The Catechism--this writing aloud type silent conversation with God and with you, dear readers, is an escape the Lord is giving me from the temptation to feel inept in this ongoing physical trial of pain and no usual means of distracting from it. Just this morning I had asked the Lord to help me have some other means of distracting than through physical means, for being up which is healthy for the body, also increases the pain.
Writing about Scripture or any spiritual and holy thoughts, writing about the marvelous touch of grace the Holy Spirit provided in the synchronicity of the thoughts of two friends and the unusual timeliness of a spontaneous phone call--my pain has floated away as if on the wings of the Dove! The Lord is showing me a means of escape at least part of the time, in writing about Him in whatever of His infinite facets.
Perhaps, also, I can find relief and uplift, a way of escape so that I can endure it, by not only writing about Him but also in waiting and thinking of Him in the simply lengthy waiting that pain provides.
God bless His Real Presence in us--here, there, across the miles, through the veil, and everywhere!
No comments:
Post a Comment