In preparing for a rather gnarly back surgery, I once more found myself at the pain doctor's. The surgeon's staff handles pain medications while in the hospital, and the pain doctor handles the pain medications post-operatively. However, the pain doctor quickly prescribed what he thinks will help me handle what he reminds me will be "terribly painful", and then he wanted to discuss religious beliefs.
He has on other occasions been interested in delving into his thoughts on differences between Protestantism and Catholicism, based upon Scriptural interpretations, or on another occasion he wanted some discussion and counsel on a matter of spiritual after life involving a most sorrowful situation in his extended family. This time, though, he mentioned at first that he'd "insulted a Catholic", and then after the pain meds were figured out, said again, that he was afraid he'd insulted a Catholic the other day.
Okay, so I knew he wanted to discuss the situation, and I complied, asking what it was that he thought had insulted or upset a Catholic? He brought up what was bothering him; he'd asked this Catholic person (I presume a patient) how they felt they were saved. The person said had lived a good life, tried to do good, and so forth. The doctor was in a gotcha moment, then, of sorts, for he said Catholics always think it is by works they are saved and not by faith alone--which to him is the absolute correct answer.
Well, I did not point out that this is rather an ambush approach--much as investigative journalists have a story line they are producing, and go out with a cameraman and a microphone to stake out and then surprise someone with asking a pointed question, with the journalist having a desired response in mind all along. So it can be if we have a certain point of view, of what we think some religious group believes, and even if we might be wrong, if we ask that person with our answer in mind, or even thinking they will answer according to how we think they will, it is a gotcha moment. Indeed, it does remind us, though, that we should have our faith in mind as a matter of fact and truth, and be ready to answer the question of our salvation even if not expecting to be asked.
Regardless, I immediately said that Catholics do not believe we are saved by works alone! Preposterous! He insisted that we do, and that whenever he asks that of Catholics, their answer lends itself to works alone, not faith alone, as he says the Protestants believe and which is what Scripture says. Well, I said does he realize that I was an active Protestant for 44 years, and that I know what Protestants think Catholics believe, but when the Lord brought me into the Catholic Church, I learned that what I'd been told and thought was not actually the reality.
He cited the Scripture that is it by faith alone we are saved. I pointed out that James writes of yes, faith, but also that in our faith and love of God, we will thus, of course, live out in corporal works of charity and mercy to our fellow man. This is living the greatest commandment. He said no, that is not what this Catholic said at all, and that there are other Scriptures that Catholics misinterpreted--back to Jerome who translated the Bible into Latin. Even Augustine refuted what Jerome had interpreted as being wrong, says my pain doctor.
"Game on!" I said. I asked if he realized that at the time of the Reformation, Martin Luther and others removed the book of James from the Bible because they were bothered that this apostle wrote we are saved by faith in addition to working out our salvation? (I admit I was not expecting this discussion, myself, and I was taken off guard, and realize my responses were loose descriptions of actual chapter and verses. Poor indeed, but this is how it goes when not prepared for the day nor the hour!)
The papacy came up, and more of the same as to those Scriptures of handing the keys to Peter and that upon this "rock" I will build my Church--all mistranslated from Aramaic by Jerome. Jesus did not at all mean Peter as the "rock", that the the Aramic for "rock" was not the same as the Greek petra. I had pointed out that the NASB version states this, and he said that Catholics do not use that version of the Bible, but that I should look again.
Well, I have, and it states this, but in scrutinizing more carefully, Jesus says "will give the keys of the Kingdom" so presumably at some future point in time. Nonetheless, I also realize that my study Bible is the New American Bible Revised Standard version. Mercy! How unprepared in many ways for this doctor office discussion! However, I held my ground, for he also said that 8 out of 10 Catholics lose their faith when they get to late teen years or into college because they do not know what they believe, and they therefore are left empty-handed. (I'm paraphrasing some of this, but you get the gist.)
More was said, such as I pointed out that as a Catholic convert, I can state that it is not like it was as a Protestant when I'd join a denomination--three Sunday hour sessions of learning about who started this church or that church, and the basics of what that person felt was the correct belief and so start a new church. No, I had lengthy private instruction, much reading and study, and that those who do not have private instruction prior to being confirmed a Catholic, have nine months of weekly instruction in group sessions. So it could be that as it might be with Protestants and Catholics alike, many are "in name only" and either go to church and don't pay too much attention to the details of their faith, or do not go to church but yet say they are Christians.
What I did not add is that they may be very good Christians, indeed. However I did say that I was reared in an anti-Catholic biased family, although I did not realize just how deep the feelings ran until I became Catholic, and my parents cut me off for six months, and a sister and her husband did not speak to me for five years. Plus, I added that I did my studying and reading and asking questions of points that I did not understand or disagreed with, years ago, and my mission currently, nor my interest now, is not in apologetics, but I realize he is keen on apologetics.
Yes, he is. He said that he has many questions and thoughts he is always thinking about, and in his head and reading he is trying to figure out certain aspects that bother him. To be honest, I'm not sure how it ended up, other than I had said "Game on", and he said that is what he hoped. I asked if he'd read documents of the Catholic Church or was going on what he'd asked Catholics or had read from Protestant perspective? He had not read such as the Catechism of the Catholic Church: I'd mentioned that might be a good compilation to read to find out more what the Catholic Church teaches and believes, even if various Catholics might not be able to express their beliefs that well.
But I assured him we do NOT believe that we are saved by works alone! We take the fullness of Scripture, and that means the writings of the apostle James as well as Paul, as well as Old Testament and all of the New. He also had stated that part of the "correct answer" would be being saved by the blood of Christ poured out. Well, yes. All that, too.
We left on a note of the upcoming back surgery, specifically of my prayer campaign for the surgeon's nurse.... This doctor finds me a challenge, I suppose, and he ends up being amused, which is good.
Ever since this appointment I've been praying and talking over with my angel and the Holy Spirit--oh yes, I forgot to mention that I used to think in my head alone until the Lord told me emphatically to "Think with the heart!"--as to what or how or when, if anything, I should proceed with this fascinating development with the pain doctor. What is his motivation, for one thing?
Is he intrigued by Catholicism, or is he concerned that Catholics are wrong and doomed to hell? i don't think it is this latter, as I had pointed out that it is not necessarily once saved, always saved. (He is steeped in Calvinism, by the way, also. All I could think of when he said that, is my love for St. Francis de Sales who spent his life trying to keep the Calvinists on the Swiss-France border area where St. Francis de Sales was bishop, from killing more Catholics and to help Catholics keep their faith! So much evil had erupted in that time period over errant beliefs and confusions!)
Yes, I pointed out to the pain doctor that I could end up going to hell. He said no, I could not. I said yes, for how do I know I will not commit some mortal sin and not repent in this life or at my judgment? He said there is no such thing as mortal sin. I did not take a swing at that one, but I said yes, there could be some situation in which I would lose my faith and not repent, and thus I would not be saved. He changed the direction of the discussion then.
Well, I'll get back to my praying for direction from the Holy Spirit regarding this fascinating development. It was on my mind even this morning while I solid-stained a wood patio chair that is intricately constructed with lots of wood pieces. A meditative task, indeed, and my heart, mind, and soul were consumed with prayer communication regarding how to proceed with the pain doctor's desire for apologetics debate.
I'm not to get waylaid by apologetic debate; my mission in what time I have left on this earth is heading in the direction of writing, and what I'm to write first is floating about, not yet solidified in answer from the Holy Spirit, but getting closer. So with that, the thought has come that I can send the doctor a note in the mail, offering the site online in which my home library is listed, and if any of the books seem appealing to him, I could drop them off prior to my upcoming surgery. Otherwise my next appointment is not until the day commemorating the Beheading of St. John the Baptist.
(I will not mention this feast day in the Church, as I'm careful to also not call holy personages as "saint" this or that; Protestants do not do as such, nor do they usually understand or think it right to use that title for the apostles and prophets and various other people who have died and lived holy lives and who are in process of or already canonized as "saints" in the Catholic Church (and Orthodox--my, that could open a whole other debate discussing the east-west schism in the Church over a thousand years ago.)
Yes, I can offer access to my collection of books--about a thousand, I think there are. I have sold some--paperbacks that were aging poorly and a one-time read only, or a few hardbacks that seemed not necessary to keep in the collection.
And also, the thought came, that I can include in the note the website for Catholic Answers--the forum and the audio. [Catholics.com/forum; Catholics.com/audio] I can also mention EWTN--Eternal Word Television Network. So if this very intelligent and intellectual man wants answers as to what Catholics believe, what the Church delineates, then he'd have all and then some to read and listen to and ponder.
I'm definitely, like most Catholics, not into proselytizing people. I'm more than content--exuberantly as in love with the Holy Catholic Church now than ever, although my zeal is tempered with a patina of age. Thanks be to God! Temperance is a gift of the Holy Spirit and a virtue! If the pain doctor is not satisfied with his denomination, then he can learn to think with his heart as well as his head, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide his seeking and touch his heart and soul.
If he is concerned about Catholics' eternal place, then certainly, he could pray for all 1.3 billion of us. I always delight when someone will pray for me, for I so need prayers! Oh my, do I need prayers all the more now than ever, as I feel I've not been fulfilling my mission for which I was sent back during the death experience in 1987. I've reared my children, but the mission thing is yet out there to be completed here on earth or no doubt in purgatory. Oh my, there I go again--purgatory could be quite a conundrum for my pain doctor. So no, I cannot get drawn off as I must focus on what I'm to write and then to WRITE IT. The marvelous doctor can use his mind and intellect to find answers to what is bothering him, by delving into what I can offer him and point him in the direction, thereof.
And as to that, I did kind of chuckle once more when I considered that this saved by faith alone medical doctor is working his mind so very hard--trying to figure out answers to questions he has. Whereas as I mentioned to him, my intellectual questions of what the Church teaches, espouses, and what Catholics believe were answered years ago, I am more faith alone now--into the spiritual realities! It is indeed doing "work" to work the head that hard, or so it seems to me, in order to try to figure out our salvation. Maybe it could be at a point of more work than faith, even.
For years ago after the Lord drawing me into the Catholic Church through what ended up having to be my ultimate leap of faith, while I used my head and read and asked questions and thought through answers and delved into Scriptural exegesis, it really was as if I just had to pinch my nose shut with my right-hand fingers and leap into the most glorious and all-encompassing religion--as I used to say and still do--a never ending treasure chest of the Holy Trinity, of all and then some of whatever my body, mind, heart, and soul could ever need and desire this side of heaven.
And ironically, while Dr. H. and I spent an hour on the phone the day prior to my pain doctor appointment, discussing various book and writing ideas that God may want of me, and what first--I am beginning to think that the fascinating development with the pain doctor discussion, might be directing me to first write my conversion story. I could dedicate it to the pain doctor as well as Dr. H., for as Dr. H. and I are reconnecting and am filling him in on the Catholic years and the incredible spiritual experiences and growth, he himself was reared a Catholic but slipped away as a young man, himself.
To my dear readers, I so appreciate your prayers for my discerning this situation with the pain doctor, and also for fulfilling the second part of my being sent back--my mission for which I was returned from death 32 years ago the night of July 28 and into the wee hours of July 29. I will have a year recovery from the spine surgery, and I will not be allowed to do my physical projects. Writing may be my only purpose and distraction from pain; and I need it to be what the Lord wills and desires.
Thank you!
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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