Yesterday I had to go off all anti-inflammatory meds and supplements (bleeding risk in surgery). Today, as a result and maybe due to pain siege coming on, the nerve pain in spine and down legs and into feet is difficult to manage. Did not help waking up at 3:30 and not able to sleep again. However, this little laptop provides the daily Mass readings quite easily with the screen lit in the darkness.
The Psalms are especially encouraging for all (and that means everyone) who suffer. We all do suffer, either constantly, chronically, or periodically.
Nausea has set in from the lumbar radiating pain; I do hope a pain siege not developing. I have quite a bit to accomplish yet, readying the place for post-operative recovery. I've considered those hermits--those who were or are religious order hermits--out on their own but when surgery or major illness occurs, come back to the monastery to be tended, or have to be hospitalized until released to the monastery.
But a consecrated Catholic hermit, especially those privately professed, are less likely to have as many contacts as even a publicly professed hermit--and far less contacts, of course, than a religious order hermit. I'm appreciating the little challenges of such as considering who I might have to stay in my hermitage for a couple or three days after the hospital stay. The surgeon had mentioned would need someone just to be here for a while--could even be a teenager. Just need someone in case I'd need help with something or other--something at night or if feeling weak, help walking to bathroom.
Also, I need someone to change the bandages that will be covering what is going to be a lengthy incision on the lumbar and sacral part of spine. Perhaps for that I can have something akin to a home health care aide or nurse stop by to do that? The incision needs to be checked, also, for any signs of infection. Location is the reason why I cannot do this task; I'm not going to be able to twist, bend, or lift for an as-yet unspecified period of time.
So I'm considering what a person alone might need and accumulating these items. Plus, the neurosurgery department has a binder with suggested items needed or helpful. All items needed in foreseeable future must be at waist height or higher. I've stocked up on staples--items easy to eat or drink that require little or no preparation. I got one of those grabber-reacher poles for anything that might fall to the floor by accident, so I can pick it up. I got a rise contraption for the bathroom commode. I need a chair with solid seat and arms--need the arms for stability, safety, and to help push on to get up. For whatever reason, I'm not to sit on side of bed to dress. I suppose too easy to slide off, and soft surfaces are not helpful, either, for spine incisions.
I'm going to get some Germ-x or whatever as hand cleanliness is crucial. The pain doctor has warned of even getting hot and the sweat in the incision would be an automatic infection. I finally have a mattress that is still somewhat soft but the back can tolerate it! I'm so thankful! Not going to be able to get up and down from the floor, of course.
I got a ride lined up with a local, free, ride share program that will drop me off at the hospital. Neighbor kids will do their best to water the planter containers; I might ask them to collect the mail as I have no idea how long for a mail-hold. The hermitage needs to be cleaned; stuff needs to be put away. I still have some meds to get from the pharmacy. Pack the items listed that I will need in the hospital. And there are yet some plants and some shrubs that should be planted in the ground because I'm told I'll not be gardening or doing active projects for a year.
But I'm worn out from pain today and from a dental appointment that had to be accomplished prior to surgery (couldn't wait) and a dermatologist appointment for the skin cancer check. Then I will need to make sure there are sheets and clothing items freshly laundered and back up arrangements made in case my hospital stay is longer than the surgeon thinks--as my ride home (desire it to be home and not an interim facility--noise, people all about, and greater chance of infection) will be on vacation if the hospitalization is one day longer than planned.
My more focused spiritual life has been interrupted by the details of preparing for surgery and the aftermath. I ought to try to get to the motor vehicle department if my body pain allows, as I need to get new plates and license for the truck.
The priest is booked with appointments until much later, but the Sacrament of anointing of the sick he provided three or so months ago, remains sufficient. Have had recent sacramental confession. The parishioner who brings weekly Communion will come the day prior to surgery. I am yet asking the Holy Spirit to select a book or two. The hospital suggests headphones to listen to music, but I do not not have a portable CD player. I think they mention a laptop or tablet, so there are lovely musical selections available on YouTube. The mention of music included research that music can assist with healing and pain management.
These tangible considerations and preparations are all necessary for a lay person or a hermit. The difference remains that the hermit does not have a significant group of people upon which to rely. I am yet reminded of St. John Climacus who reminds that the hermit who has others assisting will then not have the advantage of the angels who would then assist in time of need. Yet, a hermit usually has either the monastery or a parish, and the parish to which I am a quite hidden member will be of assistance with the person who brings Communion weekly as well as the parish nurse who will line up some meals if I need after I first return to my hermitage.
Other than that, it will be as it was when I was in previous location--one in which the Lord truly stripped me down to a genuine solus Deus existence other than those He provided as needs arose. I learned to rely on His Real presence to a blessed degree, and He never failed me. I do have a family member in the area--but I rarely impose and ought to do less. Active people in their married and lay vocations are busy beyond what a hermit might consciously consider!
The family member will no doubt be at the hospital for part of or the end of surgery in which the surgeon generally speaks with someone to go over how the surgery went. The patient usually is not cognizant yet to listen. But I'm sure if the family member could not be there, or anyone be there, then the surgeon or a nurse would explain how it transpired with the patient once alert enough to retain information.
Regardless, the bulk of the recovery which I'm told will be slow and lengthy, with more restrictions due to what needs to be done and the low density of my bones, will be much as I live out my hermit life--in the silence of solitude, hidden from the eyes of mankind, and with prayer and praise of God. There will be ongoing penance of pain and also prayer of pain.
God provides! I'm planning to do some more serious type writing--meaning a focused effort such as a book--during the recovery period. The Lord will have me a captive Catholic hermit! There won't be even the gardening nor running errands as distraction, no manual labor. The physical therapy consists of walking--to get up each hour for eight hours in the day, and walk around the house. When strong enough, then to take two walks daily outside.
Allow the Lord to lead, and I shall follow. And this includes if another unexpected occurrence transpires in surgery, to be released from this temporal earth and to go on with God into the eternal mystical realm, leaving the body behind and all else flowing toward and into indescribable love and light.
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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