A precious mystic hermit soul emailed thoughts including that of wanting too much to be in the Holy Trinity always (has mystical gift of Indwelling of the Holy Trinity). Mentioned must give up that desire, as well, to fully be in God's will. Must let go of self-will. Mentioned that also thinks too much.
I've been there many times over the years. I could be in this dilemma in the next minute or hour or day. We may not want to be over-thinking; we may not want to be attached to a point of pained desiring to be in full union--wishing this so much that we might approach not fully living His will for us in our daily lives. So we have to even detach from attachment to desire for union right now!
This dear soul stirred my heart. Thoughts came:
I also tend toward thinking too much with the head and not with the heart--not with the Heart of Jesus. His will, yet again. It is flashing at us always: His will be done. Not ours.
I was thinking [maybe more from within heart of Jesus!] how praying for deeper conversions for myself is actually a full surrender to the will of God, for I am saying all I want is deeper conversion--Mary facilitating and Holy Spirit infusing--into His Real Presence/Holy Trinity; for if we are brought into Christ we are within the Three -in-One: His Real Presence. Thus, my prayer for deeper conversions precludes anything else that I might "hope" for, or beseech.
Hope in God then is also a full surrender--all my desires are in God, in HIS HOPE. What is God's hope? It is for us to be and remain in Him eternally. I really need ask nothing else or be concerned about anything else. Whatever happens--like this horrible spinal headache this morning--will all unfold.
Through deeper conversions (this prayer always answered as it is God's will for us!) I will increasingly see matters with the Eyes, Mind, and Heart and Spirit of Christ, of God-Is-Love, of the Holy Spirit's engendering and infusing Their LOVE in me and around me. From within to without, from without to within.
The Kingdom of God is within and without, and without and within, for His Real Presence/Holy Trinity is both from within and without our souls, our beings. Everywhere. Always.
God bless HIs Real Presence (Holy Trinity!) in us! Praise God for Christ's Corpus.
JCH [Joyful Catholic Hermit]
PS. If coffee does not work for the spinal headache, I will see about a ride to an ER for it. I do not want to take Excedrin--simple solution that has worked to keep under control--for the pain doctor already thinks I am trying to sabotage his desires that I have a spinal steroid injection. He does not realize what is a spinal headache nor what is a pain siege.
And at this point, I want the spinal injection even if it goes awry as it has done years ago, because if it brings even a week of less pain, great. If not, then pain doctor will get off that desire. If it brings a day of relief, well, that might not be enough to offset the week of having to be off anti-inflammatory and nsaids, nor for the pain of the procedure and day or two that it takes to recover, or so I'm told.
My Hope is in God and in HIs HOPE; and my deeper conversion has me ever turning by the power of the Holy Spirit and the facilitation and desire of Mary to take me into her Son more and more. So whatever transpires is fine with me--even if one day of relief and seven of lead-up suffering. None of it really matters so much, does it? Just get through the bodily aspects, while the soul grows and blooms and grows and blooms again and again, more and more. All this can even seem fun, right?
These are my thoughts this morning of the Solemnity of Corpus Christi, regarding our wills v. God's will. As I type on this laptop, my hermit window-to-the-world, my left leg is again going numb. The lumbar pain is shrieking for attention. The spinal headache is slightly subdued by strong coffee, but it is not at all near-abatement. It is not surrendering....
However, my heart is all the more surrendering into His spiritual view that this suffering is all about prayer for the souls of the surgeon, his nurse, and one of his PA's (physician assistant) with whom there was much misunderstanding, bizarre circumstances, a type of chaos resulting in surgery on-then-off, then on-then-off, and now a possibility for on-again if I can endure until another appointment with surgeon in 24 days.
In the severe suffering, there is purpose now and merit. Souls to be won, including my own! God only knows! Yet the sickening pain and His will in me all the stronger to persevere, is well worth it for the spiritual good, for the Will of His Real Presence to be attained for all of us involved--and who knows what other souls in the interim! "Game on!", as is said. I will suffer it all for His Perfect Will--nothing other need I know than to suffer it through, with, and in His Real Presence!
God bless His Real Presence in us!
These are my thoughts this morning of the Solemnity of Corpus Christi, regarding our wills v. God's will. As I type on this laptop, my hermit window-to-the-world, my left leg is again going numb. The lumbar pain is shrieking for attention. The spinal headache is slightly subdued by strong coffee, but it is not at all near-abatement. It is not surrendering....
However, my heart is all the more surrendering into His spiritual view that this suffering is all about prayer for the souls of the surgeon, his nurse, and one of his PA's (physician assistant) with whom there was much misunderstanding, bizarre circumstances, a type of chaos resulting in surgery on-then-off, then on-then-off, and now a possibility for on-again if I can endure until another appointment with surgeon in 24 days.
In the severe suffering, there is purpose now and merit. Souls to be won, including my own! God only knows! Yet the sickening pain and His will in me all the stronger to persevere, is well worth it for the spiritual good, for the Will of His Real Presence to be attained for all of us involved--and who knows what other souls in the interim! "Game on!", as is said. I will suffer it all for His Perfect Will--nothing other need I know than to suffer it through, with, and in His Real Presence!
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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