Been really struggling today--well, for a few days now--with burning and sometimes sharp nerve pain from low back, down the legs, into the feet. I tell you, it can get to a person! Temporal stuff, various people's relationship issues--not getting up to do this or that task, being in a type of nerve pain limbo--it can eat at the mind and emotions, as well as is very fatiguing.
I turned to today's Mass readings from the Living Word of God. I'd read them early morning but not in a mode of meditating upon them. Mind too distracted from nerve pain! So here is this line from John 5:44 that Jesus speaks, after also saying that he does not accept praise from human beings. It caused me to wonder what this means, as it is hard enough to focus let alone think or ponder!
"How can you believe, when you accept praise from one another and do not seek the praise that comes from the only God?" ~ John 5:44
I did a Google search, hoping to find some other translations as well as any others' thoughts on this line of Scripture. I found some guidance! Guess I was just curious as to, basically, how it is or what it is we are to seek the praise that comes from God? I had not considered that God "praises". I have been geared to considering that we should seek to praise God.
Granted, with my weariness from way too much nerve pain in lower half of my body, I am not swift on the insights. I've been distracting self with various means of taking the mind off temporal pain.
Jesus advises against perhaps what can be a distraction, or a false sense of praise or "take" of ourselves when it comes from others--especially when we do not seek what praise God offers. In some translations, instead of "praise", the word is "glory". The glory that comes from God gives a different nuance than does the word "praise".
Of course, St. Paul famously spoke of the "praise of glory!"--a motto that Bl. Elizabeth of the Trinity embraced and made great impact on her path to union with Christ. "For the praise of His glory!" provided spiritual breakthrough to this saint.
One person who tackled John 5:44 mentions that we should not care what others think of us, but rather to consider what God thinks of us, what God considers of us. Our image in God's view is what matters--not what others think of us. This makes sense of Jesus' stating earlier in this Scripture passage, that he does not accept praise from human beings. Jesus does not have his self-image or take seriously what others think of him--positively or negatively.
But when it comes to God--we ought seek what God wills, what He thinks of us, what pleases Him, what we are in His sight. Jesus does not, per se, tell us to not consider what others think of us--what praise they levy in their estimation of us. He is asking how we can believe [in Him, as come from the Father and the Way to the Father] when we accept this praise from others but not seek the praise [esteem, what God considers of us] which is of what comes from God.
My sorting it out is still not as clear cut, other than to attempt further sculpting the meaning, more simply put. Believe based upon the true God and what He perceives of our inner and outer, when He is pleased with us, when not. Heed what in ourselves does bring God's pleasure, His praise--what gives Him due glory by our thoughts, words, actions and even our intentions.
Seek what is God's good, God's glory, God's pleasure, God's will; seek God's approval of us, not others' approval of us. When we seek the praise that comes from God, we then believe in God beyond all others. Then God rules supreme in estimation of us and in our own estimation.
Caring what God perceives and thinks of us requires great faith, great belief. We are so tuned to, in daily life, those around us. Even as a hermit, the thoughts can be filtered through what others have thought of us or what they might think of us. Even if not around people in person, people past, present, and future, can be in our minds, in our thoughts, our memories, our mental interactions. For those more in the world, the reflections of what other people think of us, is a daily temptation whether conscious or subconscious. We are socially cultured from an early age to consider what others think of us by how they respond to our earliest interactions.
Yet we are to learn and live, more so and when on the spiritual journey of union with God, to consider and be concerned with God's thoughts, views, and considerations of us. God's view and pleasure of and in us, needs to be our main concern and goal of our interactions and communications.
This all goes along well with the locution: Be a guest. By living our lives as guests of God, of His Real Presence, then God is our purpose, goal, beloved one and only, and our Way. Truth, and Life.
This my physical body, has been down for nearly five days due to the exhausting nerve pain from lumbar spine. I've been struggling with motivation to even bother struggling to put my thoughts on what would or could be more pleasing to God rather than distracting with bits of temporal distractions to keep my mind and emotions from the physical pain.
I pray that the struggling is pleasing to God. I guess it could be worse if I did not remind myself that what I put into my mind can be improved by my intentions and what I do with what goes in and what can come out from it. Yet, I still need far more discipline. I need motivation to push through the pain and to do what seeks God's praise. Content is something to seriously consider. What is the mental, emotional, spiritual content of this day?
I also consider that background noise can distract from pain, yes; but it also can shut out what silence could avail in messages from my angel or the comfort of the Holy Spirit. Yes, the pain may seem excruciating and temptations to despair can come in silence. Well, I am yet in discernment even though I think I know what God prefers even if He has understanding of and mercy upon me in my pain struggles.
I don't know if I used to do better suffering in silence rather than using distractions to get through such as incessant nerve pain. I'm just pondering this, personally, and sharing some of my weakness. I might be questioning what I think is what God prefers compared to what maybe He does prefer.
I'm not convinced I'm making God proud of me, with how I distract from pain--kind of sludge through. Seems as if I waste God-given earth time. I should consider what Jesus thought and did while on the Cross. How did He manage the pain? I used to feel it far more but did not use temporal distractions so much. Ah, well. It will be sorted out, all this. I am seeking God's praise, regardless.
God bless His Real Presence in us! Help us, Lord, to love God above all things, to love others as ourselves, and to believe--to seek the praise that comes from the only God!
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