Was awake in time to attempt morning Mass; but the body pain so great that the mind could not enlist the will to get up, dress, drive, sit--no matter knowing it would be glorious to be in Mass!
Three or more hours later, got up, dressed, and read the Office of Readings. In this selection from Hebrews, it is Jesus speaking directly to us. For me, He hits the body pain where it hurts.
So strengthen your drooping hands and your weak knees. Make straight the paths you walk on, that your halting limbs may not be dislocated but healed."
Certainly, these words of the Living Word, are not necessarily literal--or not best served literally as their spiritual impact is supreme! Yet they certainly hit the right hand that is still in brace, trying to get the severe pain simmered by more immobility. The left knee area is painful from the walking attempted yesterday afternoon--very little walking, but walking some on sidewalks and paths. Halting limbs? Yes, Lord! The low back has been smoldering with pain this morning, nerve pain down the legs and into the feet.
Literally, I do need to get up and stay up, walk, drag branches to truck, climb up on the bed, load those branches and some rose brambles that I lopped two days ago when in a less pained mode. Strengthen those hands and knees--strengthen the bodily limbs! I know intellectually that is a proven means to help manage physical pain; activity raises the brain's endorphins that help make pain seem less.
Yet there are limits, of course. The low back does have some serious issues going on. But there is nothing that crucial in walking or dragging some pruned branches and loading slowly, one by one, onto the truck bed. One must be careful to go at a slow pace, a steady pace, and take breaks when and if needed.
This is true in the spiritual life. When the body, mind, heart, and spirit are weary and discipline seems untenable, we must rest and ponder the good of discipline, of the Lord's power and strength in leading us forth, in sustaining us. While the body might flag some or a lot, the soul can remain firm, strong, and desirous of discipline in preparing us for holiness.
I appreciate the Second Reading in the Breviary's "Office of Readings" for this morning. [Oops! Just noticed I read the Office for tomorrow morning--O happy fault! Jesus speaks in it, to me, today!] St. Basil writes of how we must break from our former way of life and gives as example one running a race. I will turn that into the task of walking to back yard/garden and dragging piles of branches to the front and loading on the truck. In this "race", I must stop when each load is on the truck bed, turn with a brief pause before heading back for more branches.
St. Basil uses this turn-and-pause movement in a runner's race to demonstrate that when we shift from one phase of life to another, we pause slightly before entering into the next phase. It is not a true "going back" in life phases; the turning is not ever the same. In my work task, for example, each pause-to-turn will result in less of a pile of branches to load on the truck. Then there will be the drive to the landfill and off-loading.
In our lives, even in our spiritual lives and especially so, we come to deeper conversion in each phase of pause-to-turn for what the Lord has next. The turning point is quite important to notice, for in that pause we catch our spiritual breaths and can better note that there is a shift occurring, and it is by Christ's intention and God's will, that the shift is good and profitable for our souls--no matter if there is human suffering involved.
When Christ paused and then turned toward Jerusalem, He knew what lay ahead as far as His mission and purpose for our salvation. Yet the actuality of the physical suffering was yet to be; and the actual reality and glory of His resurrection, also was yet to be.
Keep walking, and when it comes time to pause-and-turn, reflect, refresh, embrace the next pathway of the soul's journey "home." Know the great union of suffering with love.
As imitators of Christ, all this is well worth our pondering and imitating.
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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