Catholic Hermit: What a Hermit Is to Be and Do, Conclusion

I'm finishing up this recent exploration of what the Catholic Church asks of her consecrated hermits. This includes those of us who either by public or private profession of the evangelical counsels, and after having discerned the call from God to this vocation, have been living out the aspects according to the basics as set forth by the Church in Sections 920, 921 of The Catechism of the Catholic Church.  

We tend to be guided by a holy priest or if publicly professed, by a diocese bishop or his appointed delegate, as our superior; but the onus of our daily lives rests between ourselves and the Lord, the Superior of Whom we have dedicated our lives, as is so eloquently expressed by the Church in the provided sections.  In summation, from section 921, this concluding statement seems sublimely appropriate in these last few days of Ordinary Time, with Advent four days hence.

"Here is a particular call to find in the desert, in the thick of spiritual battle, the glory of the Crucified one."

For me, personally, as a Catholic hermit, living out what will be the finality of my earthly days as within and with others in the consecrated life of the Church, this call has been supernally particular.  The more I continue, soon into my 20th year of being privately professed and already into the 21st year of postulant and novitiate practicum in living the Church's hermit life, the more I am in gratitude and awe of God's prescient and providential calling me into this vocation.

I could never have anticipated, yet in September, 1999, there it was--set before me.  Off and on over the earlier years, the Lord would reinforce His particular call, as I have mentioned in previous posts, in visions, locutions, and vision-dreams.  I am most fortunate other than the reality that He went to such measures, or so it seems to me, due to my needing His direct intervention to help guide, encourage, remind, instruct and explain when I would wonder why this or not that in regard to how the vocation was unfolding, or when I would wander off the narrow path He chose for me, His Catholic hermit.  

And I came to understand what He chose for me in this particular call, was as particular as to what He chose for others in this particular call to hermit life.  Thus I came to understand and appreciate the unique aspects of this vocation, with no one hermit in any set pattern or form, even within the long-held private or more recently the option of public, profession in the hermit vocation.  We eremites are united in the reality of the particular call; how blessed are we Catholic hermits all!

We all are to find in the desert, in the thick of spiritual battle, the glory of the Crucified one.  Finding Christ's glory as the Crucified one, God's only Son Who sacrificed His life for our salvation, is the glory to which we hope in God and pray to come to union through, with, and in Him.

To this end, so to speak (although it is truly the beginning of glorious eternal life, fully unified in all ways fathomable and unfathomable), we are called.  And we are shown through the history and tradition of the Church and before and beyond, the mysterious surety of the desert as our "place" of seeking and finding this glory of the Crucified one.

And this finding of in the desert--yea, the desert not only of our external exigencies but the desert of our minds, hearts, and souls--after whatever hours, days, months, and years in the thick of spiritual battle, we become One with Christ Crucified.

I cannot explain or express other than perhaps in what I have been graced to experience in snippets of union with Christ--of which I really cannot describe in words that provide other than external-type aspects and interior feelings of intangible bliss--and even that word "bliss" is inadequate.  Others of you hermits can or could express and describe far better and more adequately.  

But we know there is no point to attempting, not much, in describing what is not possible for words to convey--or at least not needfully so, as those before us--saintly hermits and holy mystics have described enough for us to seek what they sought, and find what they found.

Union through, with, and in His Real Presence--and union that is not a glimpse or glimmer but eternal union--this union is God's will for us and our yearning desire for Him:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  

It is for and to the desire, no matter the silence, solitude, and sacrifices of the temporal and spiritual desert, despite the arduous and sometimes frighteningly emptying-out of ourselves through one spiritual battle after another, that we simple human beings called "hermits" or "eremites", perdure until we find the glory of the Crucified Christ.

I find it significant that we find the glory of Christ--but of the crucified Christ.  

Honestly, I cannot yet, but do admit, that I beg the infusion of inspiration of the Holy Spirit to help me understand, to know, to absorb and incorporate into the core of mind, heart, and soul of which God created--what this truly means, or perhaps more, the specificity as such:  the glory of the Crucified one.

Perhaps I am not ready to fully grasp; perhaps the Holy Trinity--His Real Presence--must keep from me the fullness of grasping such glory and the true depth and mystical comprehension of Christ crucified--as opposed to our theological understanding of which I could write words, descriptions, examples, and theological discourse from great minds of the Church Fathers and saints.

Perhaps the Holy Trinity is explaining to me the glory of the Crucified slowly, in the on-going ebb and tide of my life of imperfect suffering, in the gradually increasing love-pain, prolonged in and by my struggling, my plaints caught somewhere twixt my human selfishness and my holy desired, spiritual selflessness. 

In the meantime, I keep to my best hope-in-God striving: praising, as in praise of God's glory, praying as for the salvation of the world, of souls, and in the silence of anonymous writing and the living out of my life, most all in the silence of solitude, and all as my way of being, albeit yet imperfectly, a silent preaching of the Lord to whom I've surrendered my life and to Him who means everything to me.

To all this, and all that I cannot explain in words or feelings, I've been called, particularly so, by God.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Let us love God in Himself above all things, and love one another as God loves.

Catholic Hermit: What a Hermit Is to Do and Be, cont.

Every so often I continue my meditation, or reflection, on what the Catholic Church asks of her hermits.  From The Catechism of the Catholic Church, the two sections 920, 921 are pertinent to either privately or publicly professed hermits, listed under "The Consecrated Life of the Church", then "Eremitic Life". 

Below is cited the second portion, Section 921, which is poetic prose, so beautifully written and filled with vast passageways for a consecrated Catholic hermit to explore.

921 "They manifest to everyone the interior aspect of the mystery of the Church, that is, personal intimacy with Christ.  Hidden from the eyes of men, the life of the hermit is a silent preaching of the Lord, to whom he has surrendered his life simply because he is everything to him.  Here is a particular call to find in the desert, in the thick of spiritual battle, the glory of the Crucified One."
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I will focus on the first line:  They [Catholic hermits] manifest to everyone....

Manifest, we know, means to "make clear or obvious to the eye or mind," to demonstrate, to show by essence or action.  This may seem ironic given that hermits remain mostly hidden to the eyes of others--yet we manifest to everyone.  We consecrated Catholic hermits thus make clear or obvious by the essence, the interior nature of our lives of praise of God and prayer and penance, of our devotion to Christ, our great love of God.

That we manifest to everyone includes those alive on this earth or alive in the spirit, no longer in temporal bodies but alive in eternity--in process of purgation and in having been purified to union in the fullness of light of the Holy Trinity.  We manifest to everyone causes those of us who are consecrated Catholic hermits--and those interested in learning more of this vocation and life--to take all the more seriously the value and honor of this eremitic calling.

For we manifest to everyone includes those who are not believers, who do not have an inkling that we are called by God to profess the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, obedience and to devote our lives in stricter separation from the world, to devote ourselves to God, in praise of God and for the salvation of souls.  All these aspects of what is a hermit, of what we are to do and how we are to be embodies the essence of our souls' love of God in ways beyond the usual, the normal, of even the very good of lay persons' lives, by means of how we live out our days and nights, of our profession and what vows offered, and in the extent of devotion, mostly unseen by others in the externals but made manifest all the same.

Simplified, we are to manifest to everyone the interior aspect of the mystery of the Church.   The interior aspect is relatively synonymous of our hidden lives, of not the externals of which we consecrated Catholic hermits are most often viewed or objectified by others when they find out we are eremites.  

I'm realizing all the more the value and importance of a hermit's anonymity and of remaining private rather than public.  Some might disagree--no doubt those who have chosen a more public path in their profession of the evangelical counsels, known to those about them in name and externals.  We risk interfering with the interior aspect, in a way, of what it is that we are to be manifesting to everyone, for people are prone to being distracted by the externals, and we humans are prone to criticizing and judging what we "see" from our visual observations of externals.  

Critical judgment it can be called, which is well and good for our minds' critical thinking skills, but that can easily hinder the spiritual view of the interior aspects, especially in being open to and beginning to grasp the mystery not only of the Church but of the mysterium tremendum of God in Himself.   Thus I am recognizing the value of the interior aspect of the hermit vocation as well as the interior aspect of the mystery of the Church, and how my mentioning, thinking I needed to explain to less than a handful of others recently, that I am a consecrated Catholic hermit.  

Even in such minor mention, thinking it would help them understand why I do not have a social life network, I realize that in each case, the persons began critical thinking based on their views of the external aspects of what they think a hermit ought be.  In this, I negated the effect of manifesting to a handful, let alone everyone, the interior aspect not only of my vocation but of the import of what this vocation is to manifest to everyone--the interior aspect of the mystery of the Church.

All the more now, I understand why anonymity and privately professed as a hermit is the better part, a more spiritual mode of living out my eremitic vocation.  Once more I grasp the wisdom of why the Carthusians, in their writings, remain anonymous.  How easily can we disrupt the flow of manifesting the interior aspect when we confuse people by trying to conflate hermit essence with unavoidable externals of human instinctive.  

(I'm now rethinking, which is the purpose of my reviewing and pondering these sections pertinent to a consecrated hermit's vocation as set forth in sections 920, 921 of The Catechism.  While I have maintained anonymity in my blog writing, and by name in other media sharing, I'm content to remain a writer henceforth, and that writing to remain a more personal, spiritual progression of one soul, in an eremite vehicle for this life's journey.  I'm wondering even of the handful of friends who know of my hermit vocation, how their judging from time to time, might have been eliminated had I kept my vocation hidden, as in their connecting me with the vocation which of course destroyed the interior aspect in vary degrees, and perhaps confounded what for them could be a better grasping of the mystery of the Church which is to be exemplified, manifested by my life.  Regardless, these are fascinating considerations of which I'm thankful to the Holy Spirit for opening them to me in this way, through this simple statement from section 921....  I'll continue to pray, ponder, and resolve.) 

I'm not sure what is the mystery of the Church, other than I know that the Church is a mystery as it is living and active, is the Body of Christ and He is Her Head.  These actualities in themselves are mysteries to be plumbed to their depths, knowing that we cannot fully grasp and perhaps not even much grasp, the vast implications of the embodiment of Christ Who Is God in His Sonship, and the Holy Spirit Who Is God Is Love in the Trinity, and of God the Father--all in one, the Church, and we the Church's Body.  

Jesus explained by the grape vine parable, our interconnectedness, and by the Head and Body image, as well.  But as a hermit is to manifest to everyone the interior aspect of the mystery of the Church, much grace and openness to Christ's teaching and the Holy Spirit guiding is required of us hermits, and of anyone therein seeking union with God and the living out our faith in our daily lives no matter the vocational vehicle.  As Christians, we are called by God; we are to seek and find, to obey and desire God's will of deeper conversions into full union with Christ.

It is for the hermit to manifest to everyone the interior aspects of the mystery of the Church.  And, as we read and ponder the four words which conclude the first statement in section 921, in further explanation of what a hermit is to do and be, the interior aspects of which we hermits are to manifest to everyone--the mystery of the Church involves, is, that is:  personal intimacy with Christ.

I will leave off my thought exploration, in writing, with this personal intimacy with Christ being the mystery of the Church, and in effect, the interior aspects of the mystery of the Church.  This personal intimacy is a valid consideration when it comes to publicly identifying oneself or even to a select few around us in ways external, as to our vocation.  What are we to be manifesting--our vocation as a hermit, or the interior aspects of the mystery of the Church, that is, personal intimacy with Christ?

This is a good question, worthy of my pondering as I get up and dress, after much of this day being in bed on the icy pad, sleeping and then praying over various news stories and the people involved, in reminding in some comment sections of our call as Christians to pray for the people involved in a variety of situations in the news and of all other people who suffer similarly to the publicized ones.  

I'm going to dress and head out for a walk.  I know and trust the Holy Trinity, His Real Presence, will guide me further into what has been exposed to me of the importance of these interior aspects of the mystery of the Church, of the personal intimacy with Christ, and how my vocation as a consecrated Catholic hermit is to manifest these aspects to everyone.

Early this morning, before falling back to sleep, this portion from Psalm 39 from today's Mass Scriptures, caught my mind and heart:

"I will bless the LORD at all times;
his praise shall be ever in my mouth.
Let my soul glory in the LORD;
the lowly will hear me and be glad."

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Assiduous Prayer and Penance

Continuing on with my further consideration of what the Church desires of her consecrated Catholic hermits, the phrase "in assiduous prayer and penance" concludes section 920 in The Catechism of the Catholic Church:

"Without always professing the three evangelical counsels publicly, hermits 'devote their life to the praise of God and salvation of the world through a stricter separation from the world, the silence of solitude and assiduous prayer and penance.

I appreciate the adjective "assiduous."  This word originated from the Latin assidere (be engaged in doing) around mid-16th century (when Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross lived).  It became assiduus and today is defined as "showing great care and perseverance."

A hermit is to be engaged, attentive in care and perseverance, of being diligent, thorough, conscientious--in the active doing of prayer and penance.

As to prayer and penance, by the time in our lives in which we receive a call to the eremitic vocation, we have already an understanding of prayer as well as a grasp of penance.  But to be more specific and review meanings in simple terms, prayer is personal conversation with God, and penance is expression of sorrow for wrongs done. 

Of course, there are far more extensive explanations of prayer and penance to which "assiduous" lends deepening purpose to a hermit's act of praying and act of sorrow, of making reparation, for wrongs, for sins personal and communal.

So much could be written about prayer--what is prayer, how to pray, the various forms of prayer.  I cannot improve upon what the various saints and great spiritual masters have said regarding prayer; nor can I begin to emphasize how all-encompassing is the prayer Jesus taught us to pray, the Our Father, the Lord's Prayer.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church comments on the doxology often added to the Lord's Prayer:  "For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and forever."  Such all-encompassing emphasis and beauty pour forth from these words that heighten and extend the foci and facets of the Lord's Prayer.

Another prayer of which the Holy Spirit has introduced to me, helped me grasp how vital, is the prayer of conversion and of deeper conversions.  This prayer is God's will for all souls--those who yet do not believe in Christ as their Savior, Lord, and God, and deeper conversions for those of us who do believe in Jesus but always are called to repeatedly deeper levels of love of God.  We are always invited and desired by God to come closer and into union with His Real Presence, the Holy Trinity, and always assisted by the Virgin Mary who calls us and points us to her Son.  

God will always answer this prayer of conversion and deeper conversion; coming always closer and into Him, abiding with and in Him all the more, is His will and desire for us.  It also is a prayer that removes us from judging, for it is a prayer of our own soul's growth as much as our prayerful desire for the growth and increasing conversions of all souls.

Personally, prayer has evolved over the years to that of what I term instantaneous thought-flashings.  It is akin to the way God communicated with me, and I communicated with Him, when I died in the hospital recovery room on the evening of July 28, 1987.  This form of prayer occurs within me, with God, with Jesus, with the Holy Spirit, as if unconsciously, for the most part.  On occasion I will realize what is occurring, this form of prayer on-going; but when I consciously make myself become stilled, the thought-flashing slows and awareness occurs such that I am more conscious of the prayer, and I begin to better listen, or so it seems, or to ask questions rather than to pour out my mind, heart, and soul to and in His Real Presence.

Then, the intensity of a concise and focused thought-flashing may seem more pleasing to Jesus.  Same with the inspiration with the seriously high pain levels post-operation of the spine--the intensity of concise and focused pain as prayer in itself, seems pleasing to Jesus.  Pain praying is a reality of the union of suffering, of being one with Christ on the Cross and in all the other ways in which He suffered terribly, and in which even now, He hurts for souls and for the sins and sufferings of mankind--sufferings as a result of others sins; sufferings as a result of our own sins.

As to penance,  there was a time when I wanted to experience what some of the saints experienced with self-inflicted mortifications.  I mentioned it to my spiritual father, and he did not say "no" at the time, for he was wise and holy and understood the good of my experiencing minor penances as such, of the good it would do me in teaching me that such types of penances are not at all necessary and that one need not at all do as many of the saints of yore with strapping themselves on the back, or wearing a tight cinch under the clothing, around the waist.  (Mine was a tight bungee cord, with hooks that clasped together.)

I will say that the cord (and my austerity in wearing a simple gray tunic-type garment--passable, though, as a jumper and not a habit), did remind me for awhile, of why I was wearing it.  The strapping my self with a guitar strap left by my son who'd gone off to college was a fascinating experience, as well.  I consciously was doing something in kind with the saints, offering the penance and the minor suffering of it to God in reparation for souls and for my sins and my own soul.  I also for awhile tried to do as some said the Virgin Mary asked of people to fast on Wednesdays and Fridays on bread and water.  I think that came from an apparition site and messages of some persons that in time was not condoned by the Church.

What I benefitted from such experimentation with self-inflicted penances was that it was totally unnecessary and rather naive and immature in a way, on my part.  My spiritual father knew I'd come to this reality, as he later smiled and pointed out that the Lord is fully capable of allowing me penances enough that HE decides upon, that He grants, that He finds just right for me.  And truly, they are far more painful and difficult, and far more reparative than my own rather romanticized efforts--so unnecessary and superfluous, even silly.

With the cinch around my waist, it was not long until I did not notice it; the guitar strappings actually felt rather good in a way--for at the time, while then I had no idea of the arachnoiditis condition of my back, the itching caused by the damage done of my spinal cord sheathing having been cut during surgery and blood leaking inside the spinal cord causing nerve clumping, the situation of my back was oddly soothed by the strapping.  

As to the fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays, my body could not cope because the pain from the spinal problems worsened to a point without adequate food--including sugar to help increase endorphins, so I'd have increased pain sieges which only caused inconvenience and harm to others, such as my son who at the time was living at home, or to friends who'd have to deal with my incapacitation from the increased pain sieges.

So I learned that the Lord is in charge of my penances, of what types, of what degree, of what worth that I have plenty enough as a result of the car accident and whatever all else occurs by God's providence as far as penances go.  God provides!  He knew and knows I am willing to suffer and to offer whatever sufferings; and God allows what transpires naturally.  Actually, some of the most difficult and meaningful of penance has been the more interior forms of suffering, or the sufferings of persecution and indignities one experiences.  Then, the challenge is not in the pain of these, but in the attitude and spirit with which one endures the resultant sufferings.

The purpose of penance is similar to that of prayer--a communication with God, a union with God, in intimate conversation and sharing in all aspects of His Real Presence to the degree and facets which He desires and wills for us to share in whatever level of intimacies with Him.  Love is the purpose.  Love begets love, love responds with love--that is a reason for and result of prayer and penance.  For a Catholic hermit, in the consecrated life of the Church, the qualifier of "assiduous" seems of pertinence and importance.  

That is what I am asking God to help me improve upon--the extent of which I am engaged in, attentive to, diligent and persevering in prayer and penance.  I want to increase to whatever degree toward perfection God allows and gifts with His grace--the depth, breadth, width, heights of prayer and penance that pleases God most and serves best his will and purposes.  

Assiduous prayer and penance--this is my hope in God, my faith in His will and desiring, and my love of God in Himself in offering of myself full, assiduously, in as intimate a union with His Real Presence as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit desires and grants, now and proceeding forever.