Catholic Hermit: Do Not Grow Lazy

One morning this past week, in the Office of Readings (of the Divine Office, prayers of the Church, "breviary," a selection from the letter to the Hebrews (6:9-20, excerpt below) struck my heart.  

"Beloved...we are persuaded of better things in your regard, things pointing to your salvation.  God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him by your service, past and present, to His holy people.  Our desire is that each of you show the same zeal to the end, fully assured of that for which you hope.  Do not grow lazy, but imitate those who, through faith and patience, are inheriting the promises." 

I emboldened the "do not grow lazy" admonition.  That struck me due to the confession in which I tried my best to express and apologize to God in the Sacrament, for what it seems to me is downright laziness.  Spiritual laziness, acedia, it is also called.  And, I am lazy in general with pain fatigue!  It takes so much to scrape this body off the floor bed each morning--and sometimes not until noon or later, or on pain siege days, not up and at 'em at all!

Yet I consider my dearest Spiritual Da, who I know if I miss him it is due to my own lack of mature faith, as he is nearby, even now.  Again, I am convinced it was this late spiritual father who four days after his death, surely arranged for the lead priest to want me to be at Mass, regardless the mystical state during Mass.  Of course, all is arranged, allowed, through the Most Holy Spirit in the Trinity.

So I hope in this scripture above, and that God is not forgetting past efforts of corporal works of mercy and even currently such as getting up early yesterday and going to stand and watch a young person play pickle ball in a tournament.  Watching in solitude is simple enough, watching in silence for the most part, as other watchers were in their groups of acquaintances.  

Does a hermit remain apart?  I do what seems appropriate in situations.  This time, I smiled, said hello, and in a couple cases introduced myself to some other watchers.  But I kept to my purpose for being there: to watch.  The watching was a prayer for the young person.  In extension, it was a prayer for all those present and participating in the pickle ball tournament.  Personal prayer, communal prayer, and perhaps in some sense, cosmic prayer--the Three Scrutinies of Lent, in watching a sport!

The Hebrews words of promise, grab the heart--persuaded of better things in our regard--things pointing to our salvation!  But the encouragement and admonition to show the same zeal from here on out in my end-run of life, the same zeal that I had in the past when enjoying more obvious, deeper conversions: this is the pith of what I've been trying to explain of my feeling inept, falling short in my spiritual life, in my vocation, in my zeal!

I consider my late spiritual Da as someone to imitate in his faith and patience who is inheriting the promises of glory and salvation.  I consider just in the brief observations and few Masses thus far, the lead priest of the parish in this area.  He seems to be one quite adept and focused on his vocation as well as in his personal spiritual ascent.  Here are two human examples, one remaining on earth and one in heaven, to consider--people, souls, I know in the here and now.

Of course, I consider the holy apostles, the saints, the holy hermits.  I even consider my guardian angel as one to imitate, as my angel certainly does not waiver with zeal for God as well as focus on vocation--to guide and guard, to stay with me until I'm safely delivered on the other side.  

But most of all, I consider His Real Presence:  Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  To imitate Jesus Christ is the ultimate.  He Is the One Who through faith and patience, without losing sight of His Mission on earth, preached Truth, Beauty, Goodness, Is the Way, the Life--suffered unto death, rose from the dead, delivered souls, gave us the Paraclete, ascended into Heaven to sit at the right Hand of God the Father.

I was going to compare the married vocation with other vocations, as it can so readily exemplify the phases of growth and maturation, and also of a certain loss or forgetfulness of the goal, of the zeal to love in various, evolving ways and types of love.  It seems this portion of Scripture from Hebrews gives the expression and means out of temporal or spiritual laziness, but with reminder of the promise of God and the hope that is given us.

For me, to be reminded that God does not forget the love that I have shown Him--that is immensely stirring.  Yes, I have loved and love Him deeply and forever, even if I think I am not loving enough or "showing it" through service, through action, through better uses of time currently.  Yes, I must make far more mature decisions in how I distract from the physical pain and in wise use of time.  What I take into my mind and through my eyes and ears ought be also what Jesus would likely take into His mind, heart, and soul.  

Yet I also know that Jesus delights in joyful followers, in imitators who remember they are but human beings, yet striving with the hope and yearning to imitate Christ, to be ye perfect, as your heavenly father is perfect.  That striving must continue even though completion will not happen while on earth.  There is love and goodness in the striving for spiritual betterment, to desire, at least, spiritual perfection.  

Keeping the conscience sharpened (thinking of lawn mower blades this spring!) is important; otherwise, I'd not have found the above cited Hebrews passage so significant.   I'd not be pricked within when I waft off into some distraction that is not bad, yet is not better or best--or, when I spend a bit too much time on what can be good, but too much time on it turns it to what the holy ones, what Jesus, would more rapidly move onward to pearls of greater price.

And with that thought, I'm going to move on from writing this post, to read today's "Morning Office" and to ponder some on what Jesus is telling me through His Living Word.  He communicates most often and readily with us, through His Word.  Keeping the love alive, the zeal alive in our type of marriage with Christ is what couples do in their marriages.  

Communication is key, time spent with one another is necessary, sacrificing our wants for the other or Other, and desire to love and to strive to mature in the relationship while yet having zeal--these are gained in imitating Christ and the holy ones gifted by God to us as divine help.

I do know, very much so, that we are all human--single persons, married persons, priests, religious brothers and sisters, and maybe especially a consecrated Catholic hermit.  Seems important to keep this reminder in pocket at all times.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: And More Pain

The drill-whip injury to the right hand, somehow got re-injured late yesterday.  Excruciating pain.  I tell ya, it's kind of a blessing because it takes the  mind off the left knee/calf injury of last June, and the deteriorating condition of my spinal fusion and rods--awaiting surgery.  I may just have to get into the pain doctor soon so he can refer me to a hand surgeon.  

Was supposed to have it operated on a year ago December, a year after the injury, but I needed the hand to finish the hermitage where I was, in order to get out from under what I've termed "death therapy."  Great experience to die to self, be stripped down to more austerity as a hermit, to rely more fully on the Lord God.

Thankfully I have the brace I wore then,  and found it even though not unpacked in this hermitage: Solus Deus.  Had just uncovered the various braces and bands, thanks be to God!

I simply cannot write much; but I figured to report this development as it is causing me all the more to consider that God is allowing the added suffering.  I just need to switch gears, accept the pain, seek Him in the pain, and let lots of temporal aspects slide by the wayside.

And that means to focus more on the "ora" and less the "labora."  

It will be good for me to be forced out of what I think is a case of acedia--spiritual sloth!  The priest confessor last week was not convinced, as  he thinks the suffering is worth a lot.  But of course, I think I should be aligning and embracing better within the suffering.

Hermits are humans, of course and after all!

Last night I was tempted to get to an ER as the pain in the right thumb base was so severe.  However, reality comes into the situation, and  I just need to wait it out until I can get a referral to a hand surgeon.  The only reason I will contact the pain doctor is that he seems to know who are the best surgeons for various body parts.  Pain meds don't really touch this level of pain much, so no need in that regard.  

Just keep it still.  Don't move the thumb--at all.

Gotta try to mow the yard, though.  One can pray for and consider people who have lost right hands or right arms, and realize if they do not have a prosthesis, they learn to use left hands and left arms.  Resiliency is needed in the temporal and spiritual realms, both.

But I think the Lord with this latest pain affliction, is asking of me to examine more fully one of the Nine S' of my hermit life:  Stillness.  That, also, seems to be what is needed not only physically or by body part, but within my mind, heart, and spirit.  Just some stillness in God's Presence--must be!

God bless His Real Presence in us.  God bless you all on tomorrow's Palm Sunday!  Hosanna!

Catholic Hermit Busy Praying, Suffering, Working

Have many thoughts on the Church and the spiritual life, on His Real Presence, His Living Word, and the eremitic vocation in the consecrated life of the Church.

But have been keeping the body, mind, heart and spirit in silent prayer, in the solitude of Te Deum Hermitage, as well as hard at work.  Am trying to get the exterior painted before the cold of winter.  Have two extension ladders set up on south side of hermitage, and admittedly the back and neck are riled into sickening pain.  Omnia pro Deo, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit intends, from deep within.  Yes, offer it all for God:  the prayer, the pain, the effort to make all things fresh and new for someone else who will be living here when the hermit runs out of funds.  All is well, is well.

The mower would not start yesterday.  First time ever, and perhaps the problem is connected to changing the mower blade and undoing the spark plug.  The plug is back in, but perhaps the motion somehow affected the power connection.  Added more oil, to no avail.  Nearest neighbor boy responded to the hermit's request for assistance. Got the mower going one time, but it soon stopped with grass too tall.  We raised the height, but the mower simply would not catch into full mode. It would turn over now and then, but not rev to usable power.

And, that is exactly how this hermit feels its spiritual life is going, currently.  Just kind of trying to get it up to full power, but somehow it does not turn over completely.  Sputters and succumbs to some unknown reason of perhaps weariness or little issue that is not uncovered enough to correct.  But am working on it, praying, and am aware of the sputtering.  Awareness is helpful.

Best to not dwell on the weakness or weariness or whatever it is causing the sputtering.  Just keep in mind that His Real Presence, the Virgin Mary, the Guardian Angel, and those who pray for the hermit will at some point bring the awareness into change, into deeper conversion.  

Various factors can hinder our spiritual progression, or the speed of it, or the best possible scenario of our spiritual acumen.  Not to worry too much nor to obsess over it, not to get frantic--any more than this hermit is over the lawnmower not starting.  Simply ponder a bit and review the possibilities, and then try this or that to see if it comes to full functioning mode.

That is all.  In the meantime, the hermit is on its second-to-final day of a birthday gift for its Protestant cousin.  Had to assure the cousin that this is not some "Catholic" prayer or devotion.  It is a spiritual bouquet of sorts.  Each day the hermit emails the prayer intention specific for the cousin for that day and also a chapter from a book of Scripture.  Later in the day the hermit emails some reflections of how the Living Word of God sustains and connects with the cousin's life pertaining to the day's prayer intention.

It is fun, powerful, and engaging to do this.  In this particular spiritual gift, we are praying/reading 1 and 2 Thessalonians.  The cousin admitted to not reading along, and that is all right.  In the past, with this gift using Psalms or other books of the Bible, when the other person reads and prays along with the hermit each day, it does seem to be more effective.  

However, who knows for sure what is effective or more effective--although His Real Presence, our angels, and the Queen of Angels knows?  The main thing is for the hermit to give its all as best it can, to the process.  Off and on throughout the day, the Scriptures and thoughts of the cousin come to mind and heart--while up high on the ladder painting under the eaves, or while pushing the mower back into the pole barn.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Let us love one another, little children! God Is Love!