Catholic Hermit: Wait for Christ's Mercy

From I Jude 17:21-23:

Build yourselves up in your most holy faith;
pray in the Holy Spirit.
Keep yourselves in the love of God
and wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ
that leads to eternal life.
On those who waver, have mercy;
save others by snatching them out of the fire;
on others have mercy with fear,
abhorring even the outer garment stained by the flesh.

The other day this first reading from Mass Scriptures struck me as being packed concisely with wisdom.  Each line holds major tenets and advisements for body and soul, temporal and spiritual.

I'm here on my sleeping bag on the floor, stiff and sore from a hard fall in a store.  Happened Saturday late afternoon and was in ER getting body x-rayed until released in evening--no broken bones on what was x-rayed!  Praise God! 

But that does not free me for much mobility as the entire body smacked concrete after foot caught on an errant, loopy hose in garden section.  Of course, I did not see it.  I was in fast-pace mode after picking up some plumbing supplies and a potted dahlia to help brighten the front porch of the hermitage, readying it for selling.  So my body propelled with force and smacked the cement. 

Was quite a spectacle with customers gasping and gathering around, clerk calling for crisis management over store intercom:  Customer down in Lawn and Garden!

Mercy.  Yes, that is the word I'm holding today from the apostle Jude's first letter:  Wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ.

As soon as I splatted on the concrete and thought my leg was broken (not, thankfully, but plenty sore as is remainder of this old Catholic hermit's body--bones, tendons, muscles, soft tissue), I realized I'd made an crucial error that morning. 

Having made great progress on the upstairs bathroom plumbing and other finishing work, I had set a mental time-goal that I might finish the hermitage in three weeks!

When will I learn?  Every time I set a time-related goal, something happens to slow me in the work efforts.  Stay in the Order of the Present Moment.  Do not leap forward with plans connected with time frames.  Just keep myself in the love of God and wait for the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ.  It leads to eternal life--not the time-frame of finishing some project minor or major, or starting or ending some life event, job, vacation, relationship, or otherwise.

Even now, I have no idea how long I will be "stoved up".  When the shock wore off and adrenalin dropped to more normal level, it is a matter of WAITING to heal and feel up to manual labor again.  Gotta wait for awhile to see if left shoulder affected.  After such impacts, soft tissue injuries can take awhile to see if they will simmer down or be an on-going problem.

Don't I know from the right shoulder surgeries as well as the low back of which years ago an accident changed the course of my earthly existence.  However, with this, I think the stiffness, pain, and aches will be temporary.  At least I hope and pray so.

My cousin happened to call yesterday and asked when I think I will finish the house. I said I must not ever project and explained why.  God does not will it!  I am to learn to remain strictly with and in the Order of the Present Moment, down to the detail of time-limits and time-goals.

Build myself up in the faith; pray in the Holy Spirit.

Now, that is something to ponder.  Pray in the Holy Spirit.  I honestly have no idea if I am "doing" that, but I guess I must assume so considering the Paraclete came yet again on Pentecost in celebratory and mystical commemoration of the reality of His being bequeathed us centuries ago, upon the will and action of the Father and the Son.

Just last week we celebrated Trinity Sunday, after all, and my smackdown in the store was on the vigil of the Solemnity of Corpus Christi--Body and Blood of the Lord Jesus upon whose mercy I wait.  So all the right reminders are about me, and Jude's contribution to the Living Word of God do have reality and actual, lived meaning.

As to mercy, I am to have mercy on those who waver.  Yes, I can do that.  But to save them and snatch them from the fire?  It surely must be through prayer at this point, that yes, I can pray for their salvation.  I have a relative or two in mind--one in particular who is unhealthy and affecting her ill, teenage daughter's progression in healing from a dire medical crisis.  And another has totally turned from God, saying not a believer but of course I do not know deep down in the person's soul. 

But I will have mercy and hope to help save them from the fire, by the grace of God.  There is always hope in Christ, in waiting for His mercy, in remaining in God's love, in praying in the Holy Spirit.

So I pray.  That is my hope in fulfilling the advice from Jude.  Well, it is written with import and impact more than seemingly advice.  It is truth, power, might, and necessity for us Christians--and especially perhaps for a consecrated Catholic hermit.

Oddly, in the store when splayed on the concrete floor, the crisis manager who was called was concerned but also thinking managerial style.  By instinct, I held up the crucifix I wear, and said, "I am a Christian; I am not a type of person to malinger nor deceive."  Now, that must have come from the Holy Spirit--words I'd not logically come up with under the shock of the unexpected hard fall.

I must trust that since the Holy Spirit has been given, and I have accepted and desire to be in the Holy Spirit as in His Real Presence--Father, Son, and Holy Spirit--that my praying is done in the Holy Spirit.  Remaining in God's love and waiting on Christ's mercy--yes, that is my desire and hope, and in faith, it is so.

May it always be so.

As for my having mercy--with fear--on those who are abhorrent by their sins, yes, I will be merciful with a wariness, a fulsome fear that I not touch nor take in the stain of their outer garments, tainted by sin of their flesh.  Of course, I'd better beg the Lord and my fellow humans to offer me mercy with fear lest I taint them with my sins and vices, of which I nor anyone is without sins of some sort or other.

That is why it is best and even safest, to build up our faith, remain in the love of God, wait for the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ, and pray in the Holy Spirit--leading to eternal life.

And praise God--thankful for His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Another Adventure...or Ordeal?

Was using reciprocating saw to trim old wood that was protruding from two windows, interior.  Had to choose between mask to protect lungs (lead paint and sawdust tends to make lungs that already have issues, to get irritated leading to illness) or eyes.  Mask plus goggles always cause goggles or eye glasses to fog.  Even have tried goggles that are supposedly "fog proof."  

Had to be able to see what I was cutting, and have opted for mask previously. But this time sawdust got into eyes, and was unable to get it out quickly or easily.

So finally in middle of first night, the right eye was cleared.  Only had water to wash and flush and thought to use coconut oil in hopes of lubricating.  Packed eye with gauze; and the eye was vastly improved even if quite sore.  

But as soon as the right eye cleared, the left eye flared with something in it.  This has kept up ever since middle of that night.  The man of couple from parish who bring Communion did stop by with some eye drops and gel.  Been using it liberally, and continued to try to wash left eye, to no avail.

Thought left eye was making progress as could keep it open; but last night realized it is only because when the eyelid is closed, it rubs on something evidently on the cornea.  Quite painful!

Multum in parvo:  Much in little!  Such a small organ as the eye can cause all else to cease due to the pain alone.  Could not function.  Was thankful had muscle relaxants and pain meds, for they have been helpful.  

Finally last evening came a text asking how is the eye, and then that the man could take me to an urgent care today if I needed.  Awake now in the night with the eye not making any progress, I do realize.  Praying to be able to get into the eye specialist.  Not convinced urgent care will be able to handle it as in past has not always been so effective with other ailments; usually nurse practioners--wonderful but not with the expertise.  Considering emergency room as option, although no guarantees.

And life has no guarantees.  I was hard at work with making manual labor and renovation progress, and the saw dust did not seem a problem until later.  Perhaps, probably so, there is an allergy not only to sawdust with the lungs and sinuses, but would be an eye allergen, as well.

A family member who lives at a distance feels bad that there is no means to get assistance, not easily.  And it does bring up the aspect of having to rely solely on the Lord and to wait until He provides.  I've thought of St. Anthony of the Desert whose feast day is this day.  Any ailments or accidents would preclude being able to get to help; he had to wait until some other desert father might visit, or he'd have to walk quite a distance to find another hermit's dwelling.

Of course, perhaps hermits of yore did not do work that left more opportunity for mishaps.  However, there would be ailments of various sorts, and there could be poisonous insects and encounters with wild animals.  But I suppose there would not be the viruses that we contend with in our times, spread through people.  St. Anthony did not have that much contact with others, nor do I.  The only persons I've encountered in a couple of weeks have been the couple who bring His Real Presence on Sunday morning.  

I admit it does not take much contact with people, such as in errands to civilization or supplies, or such as today when I will need to be taken to eye specialist, emergency room, or urgent care--for some medical intervention is needed.  The particle or whatever, is not coming out with all the efforts I've tried--flushing the eye with water repeatedly, of course.

Getting through this ordeal, of which I'm trying to view it as yet another "adventure", will be marvelous to have the eyes healed.  It also has been immediate exercise in praising God from a point of sacrifice.  And I am learning tremendous empathy for anyone with eye difficulties.

Yes, I have asked more than once, for St. Lucy to help my eyes. And I've considered that St. Joseph and Jesus would have had incidents working with wood and stone and with no masks or eye goggles, either one.  (I have since researched full face ventilation masks--and many still have reviews that they fog, but more expensive ones do seem to be fog-free.  Odd that I was not aware of such products previously, but it takes an incident such as this to bring forth ideas of a better way.)

This experience is also helping me discern what next, if there is a next after this place.  Being a hermit with the added potentials for accidents and illnesses in today's society and culture, makes handling bodily incidents, illnesses, and accidents more likely unless one does not do anything that could create a problem. (But even cooking with a stove can mete out a grease burn, boiling water scalding, or range fire.)  So perhaps living near someone or other who is willing to drop what they are doing to take the hermit to medical care, is prudent.  Or to be in an area with taxi transportation.

I had considered yesterday morning when the pain and irritation was acute, that I may have to go by ambulance just to get a ride to an emergency room to get help removing an eye irritant.  And I do not have the funds for such a costly ride....

It is an interesting development, nonetheless, and I feel at various level, God's purposes in allowing this.  I am learning much from the situation, and again, praising God in sacrifice.  Also, once more I am being taught that there is no day that can be "set" with much expectation.  By today i would have otherwise had quite a bit of the drywall mudding finished in living room.  Instead, nothing is accomplished with any manual labor.

Pain in the physical eyes debilitates the entire body.  And consider what pain does, then, if in the eye of the soul.