Was using reciprocating saw to trim old wood that was protruding from two windows, interior. Had to choose between mask to protect lungs (lead paint and sawdust tends to make lungs that already have issues, to get irritated leading to illness) or eyes. Mask plus goggles always cause goggles or eye glasses to fog. Even have tried goggles that are supposedly "fog proof."
Had to be able to see what I was cutting, and have opted for mask previously. But this time sawdust got into eyes, and was unable to get it out quickly or easily.
So finally in middle of first night, the right eye was cleared. Only had water to wash and flush and thought to use coconut oil in hopes of lubricating. Packed eye with gauze; and the eye was vastly improved even if quite sore.
But as soon as the right eye cleared, the left eye flared with something in it. This has kept up ever since middle of that night. The man of couple from parish who bring Communion did stop by with some eye drops and gel. Been using it liberally, and continued to try to wash left eye, to no avail.
Thought left eye was making progress as could keep it open; but last night realized it is only because when the eyelid is closed, it rubs on something evidently on the cornea. Quite painful!
Multum in parvo: Much in little! Such a small organ as the eye can cause all else to cease due to the pain alone. Could not function. Was thankful had muscle relaxants and pain meds, for they have been helpful.
Finally last evening came a text asking how is the eye, and then that the man could take me to an urgent care today if I needed. Awake now in the night with the eye not making any progress, I do realize. Praying to be able to get into the eye specialist. Not convinced urgent care will be able to handle it as in past has not always been so effective with other ailments; usually nurse practioners--wonderful but not with the expertise. Considering emergency room as option, although no guarantees.
And life has no guarantees. I was hard at work with making manual labor and renovation progress, and the saw dust did not seem a problem until later. Perhaps, probably so, there is an allergy not only to sawdust with the lungs and sinuses, but would be an eye allergen, as well.
A family member who lives at a distance feels bad that there is no means to get assistance, not easily. And it does bring up the aspect of having to rely solely on the Lord and to wait until He provides. I've thought of St. Anthony of the Desert whose feast day is this day. Any ailments or accidents would preclude being able to get to help; he had to wait until some other desert father might visit, or he'd have to walk quite a distance to find another hermit's dwelling.
Of course, perhaps hermits of yore did not do work that left more opportunity for mishaps. However, there would be ailments of various sorts, and there could be poisonous insects and encounters with wild animals. But I suppose there would not be the viruses that we contend with in our times, spread through people. St. Anthony did not have that much contact with others, nor do I. The only persons I've encountered in a couple of weeks have been the couple who bring His Real Presence on Sunday morning.
I admit it does not take much contact with people, such as in errands to civilization or supplies, or such as today when I will need to be taken to eye specialist, emergency room, or urgent care--for some medical intervention is needed. The particle or whatever, is not coming out with all the efforts I've tried--flushing the eye with water repeatedly, of course.
Getting through this ordeal, of which I'm trying to view it as yet another "adventure", will be marvelous to have the eyes healed. It also has been immediate exercise in praising God from a point of sacrifice. And I am learning tremendous empathy for anyone with eye difficulties.
Yes, I have asked more than once, for St. Lucy to help my eyes. And I've considered that St. Joseph and Jesus would have had incidents working with wood and stone and with no masks or eye goggles, either one. (I have since researched full face ventilation masks--and many still have reviews that they fog, but more expensive ones do seem to be fog-free. Odd that I was not aware of such products previously, but it takes an incident such as this to bring forth ideas of a better way.)
This experience is also helping me discern what next, if there is a next after this place. Being a hermit with the added potentials for accidents and illnesses in today's society and culture, makes handling bodily incidents, illnesses, and accidents more likely unless one does not do anything that could create a problem. (But even cooking with a stove can mete out a grease burn, boiling water scalding, or range fire.) So perhaps living near someone or other who is willing to drop what they are doing to take the hermit to medical care, is prudent. Or to be in an area with taxi transportation.
I had considered yesterday morning when the pain and irritation was acute, that I may have to go by ambulance just to get a ride to an emergency room to get help removing an eye irritant. And I do not have the funds for such a costly ride....
It is an interesting development, nonetheless, and I feel at various level, God's purposes in allowing this. I am learning much from the situation, and again, praising God in sacrifice. Also, once more I am being taught that there is no day that can be "set" with much expectation. By today i would have otherwise had quite a bit of the drywall mudding finished in living room. Instead, nothing is accomplished with any manual labor.
Pain in the physical eyes debilitates the entire body. And consider what pain does, then, if in the eye of the soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment