I'm wondering this very question, as am so very ill with not only pain but some kind of illness that I think is sinus infection but I suppose could be Covid if the long-form test comes back positive. But it seems most likely is a sinus infection--the first one I've had since the pump surgery over a year ago that caused the Arachnoiditis to worsen the pain but also provided a rare but Arachnoiditis symptom of gastroparesis and nearly constant nausea.
The sickness is making the nausea worse, but I should be getting better before too long as got a zpack last evening after getting in to a doctor's appointment that they at first told me no opening until next Wednesday. That was when I said I was fairly sure I had as sinus infection. But then someone mentioned to me that Covid is mimicking sinus infections in some people, so I decided to call back and mention Covid potential, as that got more action. Suddenly they had an opening the very next day.
With a sinus infection already taken root for two full days at that time, I'd be in very bad shape by next Wednesday. I'm currently marveling at how I'm managing now, really not knowing how I was able to drive late yesterday to the doctor's office, be taken up a back way so climbing steps as they have Covid precaution, waiting for two separate Covid tests to be taken, waiting for the results of short form to show no Covid before the doctor would see me. I had implored just please call in a script for Azythromycin, what always has helped these annual sinus infections. When I've not gotten the z-pack soon enough, I'd end up in ER and then ill for a good five weeks and have it morph into strep throat, vertigo, or pneumonia or combination thereof.
So I feel quite blessed indeed to have the medication, unsure how I managed to also drive to the pharmacy and get myself back to my hermitage home abode. His Real Presence and my Guardian Angel, Beth. Now I am relying on HRP and the wonderful angel to help me endure plus help keep my pup Mercy reassured, for it's all I've been able to do to take her outside now and then to relieve herself. She is not used to no exercise or play time, no walks. But she's been allowed on the bed to play with pull toy; but this evening I am as my late dad used to say, "sicker'n a dog."
How does a hermit manage when very ill, and trying to keep going, too nauseated to eat but no appetite anyway, trying to help God's little creature, the little pup, get through this different type of situation for its first time? The hermit relies on God fully, and lets go of all else, relinquishes the body to God, die to self more than ever before in the hermit's life. Put the pup in the crate because the pup is not handling being taken out but upon return to house, going to the bathroom which has become a signal for the separation anxiety that can occur when there is but one person for the dog, such as is the case with a hermit having a pup.
The situation is not as direct when the hermit is able to take the pup for walks, play fetch, run errands which are necessary and the dog loves. This is the first time to be ill on top of the serious back pain, so the hermit perseveres in prayer, patience, love, and yet crating the pup now when otherwise would not need to. We all must adapt to the situations as they unfold.
I'm becoming suspicious that this might be Covid as previously with a sinus infection, I feel better within 24 hours, but if anything I'm as bad if not worse. Yet, the doctor did note that the nasal passages are extremely inflamed and at times bleeding. All I know is if I'd had to wait nearly a week more, my situation would be an unknown if could manage temporally alone and tend Mercy's few needs, also. But for now, being forced up to fill her water and food bowl, to take her outside on occasion, to let her up on the bed--to in this awful suffering be thinking of other than self--has been a positive.
The pup is not suffering any wants other than would like, of course, more of my one one one attention. I suppose I have spoiled her some with her exercise needs a priority, as when not so sick, I would yet force myself to take her on walks. If she were not here, I'd otherwise just stay in bed far more, succumb to the pain situation, the increasing neuropathy of the Arachnoiditis, the nausea always and now for 17 months post pump surgery.
How sick can a hermit be and still keep going, here in the hermitage, alone with God and a four-and-half-month-old pup? I suppose only God knows the answer. I keep going in prayer and hanging on to His Real Presence, having long since learned to let the temporal drop by the wayside when the going gets rough. One really only needs His Real Presence and the Spiritual and Mystical realities, even regarding a little creature of God such as Mercy the pup. His Real Presence and my angel are looking over each of us, and the pup being in her crate a couple or three hours more than she's used to is not even close to dogs who are crated daily while their owners are away at work or out socializing. It is said that dogs do not have awareness of time, thus those who crate their dogs are not causing harm to the pet.
I've considered how it would affect little Mercy should something happen to me more permanently. Would she be all right with someone else? Would she grieve or develop behavioral problems (more than the touch of separation anxiety which I was prepared for, and could be far worse given the one owner here all the time, with the one dog)? Thus I've been praying about a brother for Mercy, sometime in the future after she is more solid in her training, secure in her place here. I have read that of anyone, dogs most miss other dogs. Being pack animals, another dog is more pro than con. Especially with but one human, two dogs will exercise one another automatically, and will break up separation anxiety if that was a problem in the first dog. However, two dogs need individual time with the human and both need their walks, and while the older dog will help train the younger or newer dog, the two of the can get themselves into mischief--double-trouble if not supervised adequately. If something happens to the human, the two have each other, but of course that can complicate matters if someone adopting wants only one, not both.
Regardless, I like thinking about what is best for God's creatures, and not so much focusing on even my suffering and sickness such as now. Mercy has added a most positive dimension to the hermit vocation rather than been an intrusion or distraction. All the more I am intent on love of God above all else and love of others as God loves, when prior to getting the pup I had been concerned I might develop attachment and be distracted from my focus on His Real Presence and His Living Word, and God's Law of Love. Rather, my days and nights have taken on a balance such as morning puppy nap time if the pain not too fatiguing, to do some manual labor, and the afternoon puppy naptime a time of the hermit's bodily rest and prayer. Before Mercy, I'd keep working and praying with the manual labor, continuing on with the day's project.
Praying to keep going this evening, in the night, tomorrow morning. Relying on His Real Presence to help me get up from bed and to not falter when walking, and then get Mercy situated in her crate and me back to bed. That's the goal for the night, and thus far she seems settled down to our atypical horarium compared to life in the hermitage and with the hermit prior to the hermit becoming so ill with whatever it is. I know it seems peevish, but now ailments all the more settle also into the body's weak areas, for me being the spine--neck down and radiating out where the damaged nerves yet travel with their confused signals of burning pain and odd synapses. More pain right now than I've had of this type; nausea worse than ever before. All is magnified.
Why? I consider the spiritual view, His Real Presence's perspective and my body being utilized as a victim soul, my sufferings for years having been bound with Christ's sufferings: making reparation for the human ills that have evolved in Holy Mother Church over the centuries. This is simple cause and effect, plus direct correlation in a physical plane and pain reality of tremendous mystical proportions and mystical reality. Both temporal and mystical made one for God's purposes and His will and desire.
It's the type of supernatural reality that most people would have difficult fathoming, let alone accepting as quite real, as real as how sick I am with pain this very moment, and knowing His Real Presence is right here with me, in me, through me, handling all however He wills, for however long, including whatever outcomes He chooses. My job is to pray and die to self, and do my best to try, to simply try to get up now and then and take Mercy outside, or as I did a bit ago, pick up the accident she had in the bathroom. Its as if I'm a ghost functioning without my own awareness or drive, all is autonomic movement from beyond temporal self while at the same time so very, very sick with pain and nausea, the head feeling as if out of body other than the spine radiating pain to remind me my body is yet attached by threads of raw pain.
I appreciate your prayers for patient endurance, faith, and selfless love in suffering. Thank you.
God bless His Real Presence in us! Love in His Love!
