Sunday's Mass selection for the First Reading was from the Book of Wisdom. I found it encouraging yet also challenging. Do I love wisdom? Have I even thought of wisdom as a gift, at least all that often, or something to love, to seek in a conscious way?
Lately, though, I've come to a conscious recognition that I desire wisdom, that I need wisdom, want wisdom, and that I must seek wisdom and love wisdom with a love wisdom deserves
Do I watch for wisdom at dawn? I'm trying to do so. Often some more temporal thought flutters in upon waking, and for this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit, it often enough is the recognition of bodily pain. And with that recognition, my thoughts turn to Jesus for mercy. Or, I have an immediate reminder of someone who has asked my prayers; or there might be a song being sung or played out in my mind which in turn reminds me of how I've turned that song into a love song for Jesus.
Or, there are temporal thoughts of something I must remember to "do" relative to the responsibilities that we have in being alive in our current times. Some bill that needs to be paid on time, a birthday to be remembered or card mailed, or something such as to remember to check under the hermitage in the dug-out cellar to see if the sump pump is properly removing water that leaches in during the storms. Or, I am reminded of what I am to do in some way to make progress in finishing the hermitage.
Today I woke up thinking about a couple who have suffered as much or more ailments and calamities as Job. I was reminded of how horrid the fact of the man's huge blisters that have formed on his legs---one the size of grapefruit--and the many hemorrhages under his skin on arms. All this is the effect of the massive dosage of prednisone he has had to be on in order to simply breathe in the oxygen from tanks and to be able to continue life. Their finances in ruin, the wife has very little sleep and is worn from all the responsibilities upon her, including now being nurse for insurance will not pay for the visiting nurse practitioner to change the man's wound bandages.
But after thoughts and prayers, and of then remembering I had to put away some provisions still in truck during the brief respite from storms, and then to get a charity package ready for the mail pick up--and in praying for (and trying to keep my emotions calm!) for our country's congressional political charades and stage-show effect--I sought and desired and prayed once again for wisdom.
I did this while painting a second trim coat on some closet baseboards and shelving--all laid out on the sawhorses set up inside the hermitage.
And when that task was completed, brushes cleaned and other temporal tasks tended, the body needed to flop on the mattress, as my heart longed to re-read this excerpt from Wisdom 6:12-16:
"Resplendent and unfading is wisdom,
and she is readily perceived by those who love her,
and found by those who seek her.
She hastens to make herself known in anticipation of their desire;
Whoever watches for her at dawn shall not be disappointed,
for he shall find her sitting by his gate.
For taking thought of wisdom is the perfection of prudence,
and whoever for her sake keeps vigil
shall quickly be free from care;
because she makes her own rounds, seeking those worthy of her,
and graciously appears to them in the ways,
and meets them with all solicitude."
Is wisdom sitting by my gate? (I have two gates on the property, and I pray wisdom is by each one!) Of course, seriously, wisdom will be by the gate of our mind, heart, and especially our soul.
I ponder that wisdom is the perfection of prudence.
And I want to keep vigil, such as perhaps this morning I kept thinking about wisdom off and on, and of wanting and, in truth, needing wisdom. Is this keeping vigil, when the mind and heart think and feel and desire what is known to be prudent to possess as a gift of the Holy Spirit?
I hope so!
Wisdom will keep us from care; wisdom goes in her own manner and format, as one would realize given the Holy Spirit is the bequeather of wisdom. So wisdom, we are told, seeks those who are worthy of wisdom.
Am I worthy of wisdom? Lord, I pray I am, sinner though I be, weary and undisciplined in most endeavors! Will wisdom appear graciously in the ways? Will wisdom meet me with all solicitude? (Has wisdom come to me with care and concern?)
I do not know for sure. I'd like to think so--that wisdom is here with me now, by the gate of my soul, guiding, informing, encouraging, perfecting.
Perhaps I can begin asking Wisdom if she is in this or that thought, emotion, action--one by one, moment by moment. Will I then listen and be able to discern Wisdom's answer? Or will I at least then be turned, formed, in whatever it is I am thinking, feeling, doing--toward Wisdom, with Wisdom informing my soul through, with, and in God the creator and bequeather of Wisdom?
Lately, though, I've come to a conscious recognition that I desire wisdom, that I need wisdom, want wisdom, and that I must seek wisdom and love wisdom with a love wisdom deserves
Do I watch for wisdom at dawn? I'm trying to do so. Often some more temporal thought flutters in upon waking, and for this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit, it often enough is the recognition of bodily pain. And with that recognition, my thoughts turn to Jesus for mercy. Or, I have an immediate reminder of someone who has asked my prayers; or there might be a song being sung or played out in my mind which in turn reminds me of how I've turned that song into a love song for Jesus.
Or, there are temporal thoughts of something I must remember to "do" relative to the responsibilities that we have in being alive in our current times. Some bill that needs to be paid on time, a birthday to be remembered or card mailed, or something such as to remember to check under the hermitage in the dug-out cellar to see if the sump pump is properly removing water that leaches in during the storms. Or, I am reminded of what I am to do in some way to make progress in finishing the hermitage.
Today I woke up thinking about a couple who have suffered as much or more ailments and calamities as Job. I was reminded of how horrid the fact of the man's huge blisters that have formed on his legs---one the size of grapefruit--and the many hemorrhages under his skin on arms. All this is the effect of the massive dosage of prednisone he has had to be on in order to simply breathe in the oxygen from tanks and to be able to continue life. Their finances in ruin, the wife has very little sleep and is worn from all the responsibilities upon her, including now being nurse for insurance will not pay for the visiting nurse practitioner to change the man's wound bandages.
But after thoughts and prayers, and of then remembering I had to put away some provisions still in truck during the brief respite from storms, and then to get a charity package ready for the mail pick up--and in praying for (and trying to keep my emotions calm!) for our country's congressional political charades and stage-show effect--I sought and desired and prayed once again for wisdom.
I did this while painting a second trim coat on some closet baseboards and shelving--all laid out on the sawhorses set up inside the hermitage.
And when that task was completed, brushes cleaned and other temporal tasks tended, the body needed to flop on the mattress, as my heart longed to re-read this excerpt from Wisdom 6:12-16:
"Resplendent and unfading is wisdom,
and she is readily perceived by those who love her,
and found by those who seek her.
She hastens to make herself known in anticipation of their desire;
Whoever watches for her at dawn shall not be disappointed,
for he shall find her sitting by his gate.
For taking thought of wisdom is the perfection of prudence,
and whoever for her sake keeps vigil
shall quickly be free from care;
because she makes her own rounds, seeking those worthy of her,
and graciously appears to them in the ways,
and meets them with all solicitude."
Is wisdom sitting by my gate? (I have two gates on the property, and I pray wisdom is by each one!) Of course, seriously, wisdom will be by the gate of our mind, heart, and especially our soul.
I ponder that wisdom is the perfection of prudence.
And I want to keep vigil, such as perhaps this morning I kept thinking about wisdom off and on, and of wanting and, in truth, needing wisdom. Is this keeping vigil, when the mind and heart think and feel and desire what is known to be prudent to possess as a gift of the Holy Spirit?
I hope so!
Wisdom will keep us from care; wisdom goes in her own manner and format, as one would realize given the Holy Spirit is the bequeather of wisdom. So wisdom, we are told, seeks those who are worthy of wisdom.
Am I worthy of wisdom? Lord, I pray I am, sinner though I be, weary and undisciplined in most endeavors! Will wisdom appear graciously in the ways? Will wisdom meet me with all solicitude? (Has wisdom come to me with care and concern?)
I do not know for sure. I'd like to think so--that wisdom is here with me now, by the gate of my soul, guiding, informing, encouraging, perfecting.
Perhaps I can begin asking Wisdom if she is in this or that thought, emotion, action--one by one, moment by moment. Will I then listen and be able to discern Wisdom's answer? Or will I at least then be turned, formed, in whatever it is I am thinking, feeling, doing--toward Wisdom, with Wisdom informing my soul through, with, and in God the creator and bequeather of Wisdom?
