I'm behind a bit in writing of this Word of Jesus in Sunday Mass' Gospel reading from St. Matthew 17:1-9. The single statement that impacts so very much is the concise, visionary command of Jesus: "Rise, and do not be afraid." Why does this statement seems "visionary"?
What is one of the most difficult aspects we humans have faced, face, and likely will always overcome in our lives? Our fear! Label it insecurity, unknowns, angst, hesitation--the reality remains that we humans, in our innermost beings, in our thoughts and emotions--struggle with fear. What is the antidote to fear?
Faith is the flip-side of fear. While having an element of fear or trepidation of outcome can spur some persons on to try more, to fight for whatever challenge even of survival, faith is the best and virtuous answer to all fear. Faith will always help us persevere and overcome trials and difficulties, challenges and our fears.
This Lent, this world is scrambling to cope with COVID-19, coronavirus. This virus has become a major health concern, including now with in the United States who literally has cases being realized around Feb. 26--Ash Wednesday. While China evidenced the virus a couple months ago, the rest of the world is rapidly experiencing this highly contagious and rapidly spreading disease that affects the elderly and anyone with compromised immune systems--but all are at risk of becoming ill with a virus of which the medical professionals are scrambling to analyze, understand, diagnose, treat, and develop a safe vaccine.
It is as if the Lord speaks to all people on earth regarding a virus that is considered more fatal percentage-wise of those who contract it, than the flu. Thus, containment of COVID-19 is crucial given the statistics, even though currently it has not killed more than the flu this season. But the potential to do more damage given the rapid rate of contagion spread--exponentially greater each day. Jesus is telling us with this virus of which people are fearful, "Rise, and do not be afraid.
Personally, I finally sent to the Urgent Care today because the cough, the sinus issues, and the occasional fever needed more than over-the-counter decongestants. While I was not successful in getting the anti-biotic that has always in past (not that many times, but through four or five gnarly sinus infections that if untreated ended up with serious upper respiratory ailments--pneumonia a couple times and strep throat, the nurse practitioner did prescribe a different anti-biotic.
I have no idea if what she prescribed will be effective, and since this afternoon I had chills again, I considered calling to make an appointment with a doctor despite having to drive farther to his office. My fear is not that of dying of COVID-19, but I don't want to become more ill than what has been hanging on for ten days or so. Seems like it trends better one day, then worse the next. But I do consider the persons at the neurosurgeon's office yesterday, or at grocery, those few this hermit's been around, regardless if a sinus infection or something other.
So late afternoon I had a nudge from the Holy Spirit to call the doctor's office to get an appointment a couple days from now, so that if the anti-biotic prescribed is not effective, I will not have to wait to see the doctor. Despite the drive to his office is much farther than the Urgent Care--which was why I opted for the latter given my higher pain level and that sitting and driving make it worse--the doctor is one who listens and trusts that I am honest about what medication has always handled the sinus problem--and if it gets into lungs.
I called with about 7 minutes prior to their office closing, and the doctor had but one appointment slot remaining prior to leaving on vacation in two days. Thankfully, I have that appointment, and even if I have a prescription I can use if needed, I must make the bodily effort to go. I'm grateful.
In the meantime, I've reflected upon why the nurse practitioner today was obdurate against what has always worked, for the pharmacist told me it is absolutely not true that medical practitioners are not prescribing the medication that has been effective for me. The one prescribed has side effect of nausea--of which I mentioned to the nurse practitioner that with my spine still in healing-mode, I must avoid risk of medications that can cause vomiting.
Thus, I do have fears--or if I want to downplay the word fear, can call them "concerns." (I prefer whatever term is stronger, is more blatant, and that means the word fear.) Last week, when the back pain plus being sick with the sinus problems and my intestines not cooperating again--I was unreasonably concerned (or admit to fearful) of pain that would spike and the danger to other drivers and vehicles on the road if I drove the long distance to meet with the third party. (The one who will spiritually discern my hermit vocation, get to know me some, so as to advise the bishop as he prefers hermits be CL603 professed.)
And then the Lord showed me a hindrance within myself, that He desires me to overcome and rid out once and for all: fear of rejection. Along with that fear, I am recognizing several fears. Fear, I am realizing, of having gotten myself into more than my body can "do" regarding manual labor involved with my hermitage. Fear of the unknown of the pain level lowering over time--of which the neurosurgeon yesterday recognized that Arachnoiditis patients' severe pain tends to increase and remain increased after additional spine surgeries. That is certainly a reality now to which I must adapt So there is a fear that I might not adapt well or quickly.
There is the fear that I have become spiritually lazy. Or there is the major fear which includes guilt that I have become morbidly self-absorbed. And perhaps the greatest fear the Lord has shown me in this Lent, is my fear that I am terribly disappointing to Him and have not done His will in various aspects of and in my life.
I fear I have not offered in fully spiritual focus and love, the pain the Lord has allowed me--gifted me--for over 35 years. Perhaps I will fear that I am not praying well nor enough for conversions and for the well-being of people all over the world who are contracting COVID-19--that they know Jesus as their Lord and Savior--that we all repent and turn to the Gospel!
To all these fears (and oddly, my dying has not been a fear ever since the death experience over 32 years ago), I beseech Jesus to please increase my faith! I desire to henceforth, always, "Rise, and do not be afraid." No matter what might lurk within me of fears, no matter what I must face as do all of us face in our lives moment by moment, day after day and night after night, I and all of us must rise--as our first action.
We must rise bodily or mentally, emotionally, spiritually; and this requires fatih! Then we must be not afraid. And faith will release us from fear. We will no longer be afraid if we possess faith.
We must pray for faith...pray for a strong and ever-increasing faith. We must pray that we have faith that we possess faith. We must truly believe that Jesus has given us and increased our faith. This God-given, God-graced, God-emboldened, God-increased faith!
"Rise, and do not be afraid."
And God bless His Real Presence in us, as always and forever! Love God, Praise God!
Saint Leo the Great (?-c.461)
"This is my beloved Son (...); listen to him."
The apostles, who need to be strengthened in their faith, received a teaching in the miracle of the Transfiguration that would offer them appropriate guidance for all knowledge. Moses and Elijah, that is to say the Law and the prophets, appeared talking to the Lord (…). As Saint John says: “The Law was given by Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ,” (Jn 1:17).
The apostle Peter was rapt in ecstasy, so to speak, with desire for eternal happiness; full of joy at such a vision, he desired to live with Jesus somewhere where his glory manifested like this would fill him with joy. So he said: “Lord, it is good that we are here. If you wish I will make three tents here, one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah.” But the Lord made no answer to this proposal since he wanted to show, not that this desire was a bad one, certainly, but that it was misplaced. For the world cannot be saved except through the death of Christ. And the Lord’s example invites the faith of the believer to grasp how, without our being allowed to doubt the promised happiness, we ought nevertheless, amidst the temptations of this life, to ask for patience rather than glory, since the happiness of the Kingdom cannot come before the time of suffering.
That is why, even as he spoke, a bright cloud covered them and a voice proclaimed from out of the cloud: “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.” (…) “This is my Son, through whom all things came to be and without whom nothing came to be,” (Jn 1:3). All that I do, he does likewise; all that I work, he works with me, indistinguishably and without any difference (Jn 5:17-19). (…) This is my Son, who did not grasp jealously at the equality he shares with me, who did not lay claim to his rights, but while remaining within my divine glory, humbled himself to take the form of a slave (Phil 2:6f.) so as to accomplish our common design for the restoration of humankind. Therefore listen unhesitatingly to him in whom I am well pleased, whose teaching makes me known, whose humility gives me glory, for he is the Truth and the Life (Jn 14:6). He is my power and wisdom (1 Cor 1:24). Listen to him who redeems the world by his blood (…), who opens the way to heaven through the agony of the cross.
Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Matthew 17,1-9.
Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother, and led them up a high mountain by themselves.And he was transfigured before them; his face shone like the sun and his clothes became white as light.And behold, Moses and Elijah appeared to them, conversing with him.Then Peter said to Jesus in reply, "Lord, it is good that we are here. If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah."While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud cast a shadow over them, then from the cloud came a voice that said, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him."When the disciples heard this, they fell prostrate and were very much afraid.But Jesus came and touched them, saying, "Rise, and do not be afraid."And when the disciples raised their eyes, they saw no one else but Jesus alone.As they were coming down from the mountain, Jesus charged them, "Do not tell the vision to anyone until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead."
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