The body of this nothing, consecrated, Catholic hermit had yet another pain siege. A week ago, it was; and it was a rather violent siege of pain of a type I'd not had for over three years. Thankfully, yesterday the body began to feel better, and the surge of joy exuded--a joy that typically comes following release from extreme pain.
In the meantime, I had some tough news from the pain doctor, regarding some MRI scans of neck and low back. As I've aged, yes, the pain has increased a great deal, albeit slowly in the way that makes it cumulative rather than seemingly suddenly noticed. However, I know from other bodily symptoms as well as the effort the mind must make to distract from the constancy of increased pain, that the pain is worse daily, hourly, moment by moment.
Yet God is so gracious! He also has helped me learn to place my mind more outside the body, in essence, so that I do not tend to notice the higher levels of pain as much...or so it seems. Distraction helps; manual labor and mental conversations most often with God, and sometimes conversations with people make the pain seem further.
So the MRI's showed spinal stenosis about the rods and fusion, of which the doctor said that area of surgery years ago not even discernible as to what is going on. But the area above that has stenosis, and including the cervical area (neck) there are bone spurs as well as in the neck two herniated discs to the right side and three compressed discs to the left.
Even in the telling of the spine news, the mind somehow blocked the bulk of it. Is that the effect of a type of shock? Perhaps. He wants to refer me to a surgeon, but first he will order another MRI--this one of the thoracic back. Now, that area of the back can be quite painful, but that pain has been occurring for ten years or so to greater and lesser degrees depending on various factors.
The shock wore off a day after a night of little sleep. Too much memory of the life-altering surgery 31 years ago kept me awake--plus the disappointment of more surgery looming and what it can do to up-end what is next. Of course, that disappointment showed me clearly that once again, I obviously had stepped forward in my mind and heart at some level or other--and out of the Order of the Present Moment.
Thus, back in the present moment, the reality of having more spine surgery, including the neck, does not seem so horrible. We must do what we must do; we persevere and endure for the Lord is always with us, as we are also in Him. We remain in His Love. The pain doctor said hopefully surgery could provide a little relief from what he recognizes is a great deal of suffering.
As for the pain sieges, he is prescribing prednisone to take if I can tell when a siege is coming on, and to take during the siege along with some over-the-counter med to help coat the stomach. He is trying to provide even a modicum of relief during a pain siege. Any bit less of pain during those heightened days of pain, will be appreciated by this body, that is for sure!
Life goes on. Trying to be of a little assistance here where I am temporarily a guest with a cousin and his wife, is a type of joyful distraction. We are working on a bit of an electrical snafu--a mystery as to why two outlets that share a wall have absolutely no power to them. I've consulted my dear pal Mark, the electrician I had on the previous hermitage, Te Deum. What remains for me to do is to get up in the attic space and make my way to the wall in question and look down from above to see if the 12-2 yellow wire has ever been attached to a junction box, or if attached, to see if the ground, neutral, or hot wires have come loose.
My cousin has not relented yet, to my doing that. He has suffered a health situation recently; it is not easy for him nor for his wife, a long-time friend of mine since childhood. At least, we have pinpointed the problem's source so that if they do hire an electrician, hopefully they will not be taken advantage of by the electrician's time spent in troubleshooting.
There is an electrical problem outside their lovely home, as well. On that, the cousin hesitates on the more involved solution which involves laying conduit with wires adequate for 120v light fixtures. Their contractor had used 12-volt wires such as is used for Malibu lights, and over the eight years or so, there is obviously a ground fault occurring in those wires not meant for 120v fixtures. But I had an idea--praise God--last night, and that is to use 12-volt light bulbs in the fixtures as laying 12-volt wires anew is much easier and less costly than the other option which would require hydraulic drilling--a new term for this hermit!
That simply means, as I learned from the man in electrical of their local big box store, using water to drill through soil. One purchases a connector for the garden hose that will screw into an electrical conduit connector attached to the length of conduit required to go under a sidewalk, turn on the water, full force, and work the piece of conduit through the soil by the aide of the water "drilling" through the soil. Then the wires are run through the conduit.
The good Lord reminds me through these temporal tasks, that He has all matters handled one way or another. All temporal aspects or problems as we might consider them, have some type of solution or even multiple options for solutions. It all works out, one way or another, regardless of how difficult the solution might seem. And yes, often there is a lot of messy work involved and some suffering, and some outcomes that are less than what we think we'd like.
My back surgery years ago was a mess, yet while I could never live a normal life and still had constant pain, the spine was at least fused, stabilized, and I could walk. Pain is only pain, we must remind ourselves. So whatever lies ahead (and a surgeon might look at the MRI's in a different perspective than did the pain doctor), God has it covered with temporal solutions as well as His spiritual purview. Always God has some spiritual lesson or several, for us to learn in our temporal-spiritual journeys.
As is said in Hebrews 10:39, one of my favorite verses from years ago following the back surgeries which included a death experience between the two:
"But we are not of those who shrink back and are defeated, but we are of those who have faith and persevere in possessing our souls."
God bless His Real Presence in us! Little children, let us love one another, for God is of love! These three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love....
In the meantime, I had some tough news from the pain doctor, regarding some MRI scans of neck and low back. As I've aged, yes, the pain has increased a great deal, albeit slowly in the way that makes it cumulative rather than seemingly suddenly noticed. However, I know from other bodily symptoms as well as the effort the mind must make to distract from the constancy of increased pain, that the pain is worse daily, hourly, moment by moment.
Yet God is so gracious! He also has helped me learn to place my mind more outside the body, in essence, so that I do not tend to notice the higher levels of pain as much...or so it seems. Distraction helps; manual labor and mental conversations most often with God, and sometimes conversations with people make the pain seem further.
So the MRI's showed spinal stenosis about the rods and fusion, of which the doctor said that area of surgery years ago not even discernible as to what is going on. But the area above that has stenosis, and including the cervical area (neck) there are bone spurs as well as in the neck two herniated discs to the right side and three compressed discs to the left.
Even in the telling of the spine news, the mind somehow blocked the bulk of it. Is that the effect of a type of shock? Perhaps. He wants to refer me to a surgeon, but first he will order another MRI--this one of the thoracic back. Now, that area of the back can be quite painful, but that pain has been occurring for ten years or so to greater and lesser degrees depending on various factors.
The shock wore off a day after a night of little sleep. Too much memory of the life-altering surgery 31 years ago kept me awake--plus the disappointment of more surgery looming and what it can do to up-end what is next. Of course, that disappointment showed me clearly that once again, I obviously had stepped forward in my mind and heart at some level or other--and out of the Order of the Present Moment.
Thus, back in the present moment, the reality of having more spine surgery, including the neck, does not seem so horrible. We must do what we must do; we persevere and endure for the Lord is always with us, as we are also in Him. We remain in His Love. The pain doctor said hopefully surgery could provide a little relief from what he recognizes is a great deal of suffering.
As for the pain sieges, he is prescribing prednisone to take if I can tell when a siege is coming on, and to take during the siege along with some over-the-counter med to help coat the stomach. He is trying to provide even a modicum of relief during a pain siege. Any bit less of pain during those heightened days of pain, will be appreciated by this body, that is for sure!
Life goes on. Trying to be of a little assistance here where I am temporarily a guest with a cousin and his wife, is a type of joyful distraction. We are working on a bit of an electrical snafu--a mystery as to why two outlets that share a wall have absolutely no power to them. I've consulted my dear pal Mark, the electrician I had on the previous hermitage, Te Deum. What remains for me to do is to get up in the attic space and make my way to the wall in question and look down from above to see if the 12-2 yellow wire has ever been attached to a junction box, or if attached, to see if the ground, neutral, or hot wires have come loose.
My cousin has not relented yet, to my doing that. He has suffered a health situation recently; it is not easy for him nor for his wife, a long-time friend of mine since childhood. At least, we have pinpointed the problem's source so that if they do hire an electrician, hopefully they will not be taken advantage of by the electrician's time spent in troubleshooting.
There is an electrical problem outside their lovely home, as well. On that, the cousin hesitates on the more involved solution which involves laying conduit with wires adequate for 120v light fixtures. Their contractor had used 12-volt wires such as is used for Malibu lights, and over the eight years or so, there is obviously a ground fault occurring in those wires not meant for 120v fixtures. But I had an idea--praise God--last night, and that is to use 12-volt light bulbs in the fixtures as laying 12-volt wires anew is much easier and less costly than the other option which would require hydraulic drilling--a new term for this hermit!
That simply means, as I learned from the man in electrical of their local big box store, using water to drill through soil. One purchases a connector for the garden hose that will screw into an electrical conduit connector attached to the length of conduit required to go under a sidewalk, turn on the water, full force, and work the piece of conduit through the soil by the aide of the water "drilling" through the soil. Then the wires are run through the conduit.
The good Lord reminds me through these temporal tasks, that He has all matters handled one way or another. All temporal aspects or problems as we might consider them, have some type of solution or even multiple options for solutions. It all works out, one way or another, regardless of how difficult the solution might seem. And yes, often there is a lot of messy work involved and some suffering, and some outcomes that are less than what we think we'd like.
My back surgery years ago was a mess, yet while I could never live a normal life and still had constant pain, the spine was at least fused, stabilized, and I could walk. Pain is only pain, we must remind ourselves. So whatever lies ahead (and a surgeon might look at the MRI's in a different perspective than did the pain doctor), God has it covered with temporal solutions as well as His spiritual purview. Always God has some spiritual lesson or several, for us to learn in our temporal-spiritual journeys.
As is said in Hebrews 10:39, one of my favorite verses from years ago following the back surgeries which included a death experience between the two:
"But we are not of those who shrink back and are defeated, but we are of those who have faith and persevere in possessing our souls."
God bless His Real Presence in us! Little children, let us love one another, for God is of love! These three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love....
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