Well, this morning this hand-pained, spinal headache-ridden, spine-damaged, consecrated Catholic hermit texted my young helper's mother to end the employment arrangement.
After the call from the financial advisor yesterday, and a medical bill not covered by the co-pay I pay for monthly in order to prevent total financial ruination should something befall my body in as much as one trip to ER for stitches, I realized that it is better to save the money spent on the young lad's employment and to continue on, working slowly and very much solus Deus, alone with God.
There really is nothing that I could think of for the boy to do even for two hours on Saturday--work that he actually wanted to do and could do--well or even in average results. He had grown weary of yard work, and weeding, especially, is what I need help with due to the painful right hand that is past-due for surgery.
It is a shame in a way, for I delight in having a good and kind young helper who wants to learn and to have his first job. His mother was eager for him to work here, as two or three summers ago I employed his older brother in what was his first job. But then, there were more construction type work efforts, and there were tasks that I truly did need help with such as lifting full sheets of drywall and 1/2" cement board into place. The older brother was a year older and definitely stronger in that year's gain.
I had to make a decision based on prudence, for a change. Prudence is not my strongest virtue, if I can even put it that way, for I can't think of any virtues that seem to be "strong" if I were to declare verdict upon myself. However, there was not enough benefit from the outlay of funds. Perhaps one work session of two hours out of five resulted in better work effort on the part of the lad. Granted, not many youth nor also adults, love yard work.
I do. I love to weed, love to spread bark mulch, love to work, in general. I had explained to the boy that if he can get his head wrapped around the attitude of loving weeding and learning to get out the roots, to stick with it at a steady work pace, he could name his price here. I see people's postings frequently, begging for workers who will weed--and some say "Name your price." Ah, if I had the time and my own property in shape, and not under the crunch to get it finished and sold, I'd love to do weeding for the many who disdain that task.
I tried all psychological means to help the lad to learn how to present himself and make himself marketable to an employee. I also had to remind him to stand up to use the shovel, to get off the ground and use the shovel instead of his finger to dig out invasive bluebells with their bulbs down deep. I pointed out how lengthy the bathroom visits and had to dock him wages when he did not get the message after I said in the real world, there is a short break after four hours of labor.
Regardless, the Lord will help the lad find a job of which he will excel, and another year or two of physical maturation will help him immensely. Admittedly, not many young persons (or old!) are able to change their attitudes and decide to love to do work that for whatever reasons, they have decided to not love, or even like. It will take a lot of prayer offerings for me to squeeze the old body into the crawlspace to finish the insulation project--and to rid out the dead rat carcasses as I come upon them, scooting on my back with such little head space that I must keep my head sideways to get under the joists.
That is, if I do not have some event occur prior to that task. Yesterday while I was tending a fire (trying to burn out a stump in front yard) and also gathering dried weeds I'd pulled previously, while watering plants, while spraying pots and planting flower starts to brighten the porch and yard for marketing charm--I turned and tripped over one of my feet and fell! Thankfully it was on the grass, missing the cobblestone front walkway. Miraculously, while I landed with my right ankle and foot awry, it did not re-sprain it. I also landed with the force going to the left wrist, and miraculously again, nothing injured!
Ever since the call from the financial advisor and his heightened concern, I'd been repeating aloud and within, "Jesus, I trust in YOU!" I shook off the element of his questioning voice, "What are you going to DO?" I commented that I would simply keep working, that I knew nothing other than to "do" than to just keep working. I reminded him how marvelous has been this "death therapy" experience, that the wonder is that I am not freaking out from how scary could be my funds remaining. A root canal would wipe it out. I also (perhaps foolishly but isn't it true?) stated more than questioned, "What is the worst that can happen--that I'd run out out of money?"
So it is Jesus-I-trust-in-You all the more, and solus Deus time! God is with me; God is with us all. I had to remind myself that my mission and purpose in life and my vocation as a consecrated Catholic hermit is being lived as it ought as far as the tangibles; and the prayer life, praise of God, and the penance and sacrifice that tends to heighten the prayer and praise with a very cutting-edge and real intensity and veracity, all go with the life of a Christian and especially a Christian who is an eremite in the Church, no matter what time period in which one lives.
Alone with God--solus Deus--is what we all are when the externals are stripped. To be alone with God is also enhanced when much of our internals are stripped, as well. John of the Cross clarifies the process with his writings of the purgation of the senses and of the purgation of the spiritual senses. Dark night of the senses, dark night of the soul, he terms this process and reality.
To trust in Jesus and to accept living in especially this magnificent hermit vocation, solus Deus is a joy to experience. In having the temporal necessity to cancel the young lad's employment, there is a gush of freedom in delight of being once more in this day that lays ahead, of whatever work the body can perform and in whatever prayers and praises bubble forth from my very soul.
Jesus, I trust in You! Solus Deus! Onward, forward, come what may! Only God knows!
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