On this day of Pentecost, have been asking the Holy Spirit to give the graces necessary to endure with faith. This includes in very practical ways, such as managing the additional pain in the upper back and right shoulder muscles, and trying to keep working to whatever degree in making progress on the hermitage. Somehow, this challenge is huge--and the praying imbeds in the efforts of body and mind, in attitude and spirit.
This song has been singing within while out in the back garden and orchard area, doing what little can be done using the right arm gingerly and with numerous ice pack breaks. The mind has been worrying. Is this what God wills and desires of this hermit? The concerns arise, for it can be a battle of attitude and mind to make the body get up and begin whatever work project it can do. The finances are a concern. Raphael's not returning calls of which messages are left, asking if he will come and finish siding and porch, and help hang drywall.
When the pain increases, the concerns rise, as well. Should the hermit try to bail out now? A relative and friend emailed, mentioning this, and expressing their thoughts that the body is trying to tell the hermit something, and that one needs to accept aging process. Yet neither have seen the progress, nor do they realize the dire financial situation. But also, they each have spouses and health and income and retirement pensions and savings, and houses paid for, and livable conditions.
Then the hermit considered they do not realize what it is like to have been rooked by some people in the purchase process, and that there really was no way out that is prudent, other than to try to work one's way out. Fr. Vincent emailed conviction that the various concerns are going to pass, and that the main consideration is to persevere in faith, no matter what.
Yes, the hermit will try. It did get up, got dressed, tried to stretch the upper back, used ice, headed out, and started to use the shovel and pruners, and the watering hose. The efforts were modest; but they were efforts. The hermit prayed the Lord's prayer, some Hail Mary's, the Glory Be while watering. The hermit put its head down, and simply and sincerely asked Jesus to help to discern God's will.
And music of the song played in the head, and the words came to mind, and the Holy Spirit sang the beautiful tune, played the lovely instruments, offered the words to His beloved child. And the hermit child responded, "Thy will be done." If the body goes completely, then that will be that. But to wonder if every set back (crows have been plucking out the snow pea and cantaloupe seedlings and some other pest eating the strawberries, and rain not in the forecast!) is God saying time to give up, or the devil trying to create upset and worry--no. Stop the back-and-forth.
Why worry? The Holy Spirit is here, now, within, a gift ever present. The situation will unfold as God wills, by and by. Why worry now?