For now continue to keep up with the news, online. One station, video clips, not all, mostly headlines--this gives enough of the grasp and details for praying. Still wonder if not knowing would do as well. But this current approach seems helpful so as to not become too caught up in self. Is an occupational hazard of the human condition, perhaps enhanced by social media. Those living alone can be particularly prone.
Mark did not show up today. Finally called, and he said he thought this nothing was to call him. No, last conversation ended with "See you Wednesday"...but let it go. God's will.
Someone had emailed in the early morning, asking about mindfulness. Nothing Catholic hermit wrote back, explaining the Order of the Present Moment, mentioned the Nine S'. Recommended Br. Lawrence's classic, Practicing the Presence of God, and de Caussade's Abandonment to Divine Providence (also translated as The Sacrament of the Present Moment).
It is to that reminder that His Real Presence prompted the nothing hermit to take it well that the help was not coming today. So decided to start the process of measuring and very carefully boring 2" holes through some studs, with very little space in which to do it. Crawling under sink in that base cabinet, used the corded drill which a clerk had recommended for better power. However, it jammed and whipped back on the hermit, wrenching the twice-operated-on shoulder and whacking the side of the hand.
Read something quite poignant and painful of a woman's past: a fourth child and only daughter, born years ago with a major birth defect that then was not treatable. Their princess died after five months in the hospital, never able to be brought home. So was thinking of this little angel, and also of the anguish it would have brought to the parents. Over time, the mother grew to understand the connection with her daughter, and what a special gift she is, across the veil. The mother offers now to share her angel in heaven, as she has come to pray and ask for assistance from this precious soul.
When the painful drill-whipping occurred, this nothing began sobbing and thinking it simply could not do this overwhelming work! Too hard! Am too old, too tired, too weak! Thoughts turned to the older woman, and her long ago birth of daughter. Suddenly began sobbing and feeling it a kind of sobbing in kind with the woman, for the anguished tears she must have wept many times over when her baby girl was born with such a dire defect. One can only hope this nothing felt some of that great hurt of a mother in losing an only daughter in infancy, never having her home--five months in a hospital, then death.
Somehow, all these aspects develop a sense of perspective. Called Raphael, and he said to use the battery drill--that the corded one is too powerful with those large hole-boring drill bits. Am not strong enough to control a corded drill when it jams and whips. He is sending a helper tomorrow for the heavy work-needs here. Sensing the support of the new friend in heaven, used the battery drill and bored the holes through which the new sink drain vent system will run. Had to stop when realized need yet another size of hole bit. So it all has to wait until next trip to civilization.
And all of it seems very small, somehow, compared to today's world news, and in thinking of an only daughter--or any child--being born with uncorrectable defect (at least then). All these construction frustrations are a very small bag of worms, indeed. The higher-again pain level today is but a small matter in the full spectrum of suffering humanity. The Order of the Present Moment comes to the fore, once again; and the body needs rest yet, so as well Mark did not come.
Found it interesting in reading the more detailed book about Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross, that Teresa expressed verbally to others and in writing of her wish to not have to live. She longed for release from this life, this earth, the world. Yet, she lived out her life, seeking God's will and loving Him beyond measure. She did what she was to do, her work, even though she suffered chronically. Could so totally relate with her feelings and the words with which she expressed them.
God works all things to good for those of us who love Him. Trials and tragedies sooner or later radiate the blessings and spiritual growth tucked, always, in them. Just look for them immediately, as that saves us a lot of upset. God provides for us in the details large and small, in the present moment, without fail.
God bless His Real Presence in us! Little children, let us love--and weep, rejoice, and share with--one another!