Now back to St. Silouan the Staretz, the holy one of God. He has a few more glorious insights on humility, that the nothing Catholic hermit desires to write out, to absorb in the writing, and to share if anyone happens across these entries.
The Lord does not manifest Himself to the proud soul. All the books in the world will not help the proud soul to know the Lord. Her pride will not make way for the grace of the Holy Spirit, and God is known only through the Holy Spirit.
Enlightened by Baptism, people believe in God; but there are some who even know Him. To believe in God is good, but it is more blessed to know God. Nevertheless, those who believe are blessed, too....
If we were humble, the Lord in His love would show us all things, would reveal to us all mysteries, but our trouble is that we are not humble: we puff ourselves up and boast over trifles and so make both ourselves and others unhappy.
The Lord, though He is merciful, oppresses the soul with hunger on account of her pride, and withholds grace from her until she has learnt humility. I was perishing of my sins, and would long ago have been in hell had not the Lord and His holy and blessed Mother taken pity on me. O her quiet, gentle voice! A voice from heaven, the like of which we shall never hear on earth! And so now I write in tears of the Lord of mercy, as He were my Father. It is sweet for the soul to be with the Lord....
The Lord is with us. What more could we desire? The Lord created man that we might live and bask in Him for ever; that we might be with Him and in Him. And the Lord desires to be with us Himself, and in us. The Lord is our joy and our gladness, and when pride causes us to withdraw from Him, it means that we deliver ourselves up of our own accord to suffering. Anguish of heart, dejection and evil thoughts lacerate us....
The proud man fears reproach, while the humble man cares nothing. He who has acquired the humility of Christ would ever upbraid himself: it rejoices him to be abused, and grieves him to be acclaimed. But this humility of his is only a beginning: when the soul comes to know the Lord in the Holy Spirit, how humble and meek He is, she sees herself as the worst of all sinners and is happy to sit in shabby raiment among the ashes, like Job, beholding other men in the Holy Spirit shining in the likeness of Christ....
But consider, how will you stand on the Day of Judgment? Whither will you flee, and where will you hide yourself from the face of God?
I pray God constantly for you, that you may all be saved and rejoice eternally with the Angels and Saints. Of you I beg this: repent and humble yourselves, make glad the Lord Who awaits you with longing and mercy. Blessed is the humble soul: she is beloved of the Lord.
All heaven and earth exalt the humble Saints, and the Lord grants them the glory to be with Him. "Where I am, there shall also my servant be.'
The humility of the Mother of God is greater than any, wherefore all generations on earth exalt her, and all the heavenly hosts serve her; and this His Mother hath the Lord given us to intercede for us and be our help.
There is no better thing than to live in humility and love. The soul then knows a great peace within her, and will not set herself above her neighbor. If we love our enemies there will be no room in our souls for pride, for in the love of Christ none is above the other. Pride like a burning fire consumes all that is good; but the humility of Christ passes descriptoin and is sweet. Did men but know this the whole world would be apprenticed to this science. Day and night, all my life long, have I striven after humility, yet am I not able to capture it. My soul ever reflects: I have not yet attained that which I desire, and I cannot rest, but I humbly entreat you, brethren, you who know the love of Christ--pray for me that I may be delivered from the spirit of pride, that the humility of Christ may take up her abode in me.
There are many kinds of humility. One man is obedient and has nothing but blame for himself; and this is humility. Another repents him of his sins and considers himself loathsome in the sight of God; and this is humility. But there is still another humility in the man who has known the Lord by the Holy Spirit.
When the soul by the Holy Spirit sees the Lord, that He is meek and lowly, she humbles herself utterly. And this is an especial humility, which there are no words to describe, which is made known only through the Holy Spirit. And were men to understand through the Holy Spirit what a Lord is ours, all would be transformed: the rich would despise their riches, scholars their learning, and rulers their glory and power. Every man would humble himself and live in profound peace and love. And there would be great joy on earth.
When the soul has given herself up to the will of God, the mind contains nothing but God, and the soul stands before God with a pure mind....
from The Undistorted Image: St. Silouan the Staretz, by Archimandrite Sofrony. 1958. London: The Faith Press. "On Humility", pp. 178-80.
Somehow, the way in which the Staretz shares his teachings of a lifetime of humble love and desire for God, for love of the Church, for love of Mary and the angels and saints--it all makes Jesus all the closer in this heart and soul within His Heart. Perhaps this ought be shared with the Bishop rather than the nothing's nothings.
This morning during Mass, a last-minute lector was required, and the nothing was nodded at, so arose and read from Leviticus: it is all so beautiful! Then came a deeply stirring homily on Jesus' words recoreded in Matthew 25. The nothing was caught up in what the priest spoke, the truths and the admonitions of Christ for our lives, our minds, hearts, bodies and souls. Love of neighbor is love of Christ--and our neighbors are often choosing to consider us enemies. But we love them and pray for them and when an opportunity given or sought out, to do for them.
The Prayers of the Faithful came after the homily, but the nothing was still pondering, off somewhere, the homily. Then the nothing felt the sacristan's eyes and the priest's eyes and the tension rising in the very pews. So the nothing quickly and awkwardly arose from wherever it had been, and mouthed an "I'm sorry", and went forth to read the Prayers of the Faithful.
It offered it all for the soul of the person in the car off the side of the road, early this morning while the nothing drove to Mass. A sheriff happened to be two cars ahead, and stopped, of course, put on flashing lights. A car ahead of the sheriff had stopped. There was no sign of movement from the car which seemed to have simply driven off the road, driver's side obliterated into a tree.
But, the nothing was careful to not pray this too long during the silent prayer portion, and to heed the response necessary to read. The nothing later mentioned to the priest, that if the nothing continues to not be present, but lost in prayer or whatever it is, then the nothing should not have responsibilities. My, this priest had heard how the cantor last night at Mass had announced "We need FIVE eucharistic ministers!"--and said perhaps it was not necessary to have it thus announced.... Well, that was a kind thought, but the nothing admitted its fault and this recent problem. The priest said it wasn't so terrible a problem, though. Well, we shall see. It is a minor humiliation, but indicative of irresponsibility to the task at hand.
Now to some tasks at hand at Agnus Dei hermitage, and pondering St. Silouan's words on humility while putting some possessions in loving order here. Yes, and to pray for the Bishop to have humility, as agreed, since he is praying for the nothing to have perpetual humility. And to pray for many other intentions, small though they be, that the nothing has been asked to pray.
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3 comments:
Love all these thoughts on humility; here is another one to ponder: that perhaps true humility is also just realizing the truth about oneself in God's eyes - not just debasing oneself into total "nothingness" (though I recognize that we all must acknowledge our emptiness before God, as His creatures). Still, God has given you gifts which you use in His service, and I think it's okay to acknowledge that. Also, I two other things that I love: that St. Silouan refers to his soul in the feminine - makes me feel right at home! And I love your references to putting things in "loving order"! I often ask God to "order my day" - but loving order is even better! Blessed Lent.
Dear Brenda,
There is something so peaceful and holy and joyful about St. Silouan, isn't there? I, too, love his reference to the soul in the feminine, for it softens our soul somewhat, and reminds us that the soul is intuitive and nurturing, not so active in the sense of our bodies or even our minds.
Well, the nothingness is a reminder to focus on being nothing compared to God's All. One can really never be "nothing", for we are children of God, created by God, so therefore are something in His love. It probably is not possible due to our pride to debase ourselves into nothingness, but perhaps to dust? Or at least to insignificance other than, as you so aptly express it: realizing ourselves, experiencing the "self", as a reflection of God's view of us as simply a part of His creation.
Thank you for bringing up such insightful, clarifying thoughts.
It is a blessed Lent!
The Carthusian was the one who wrote about how detachment was to put all in loving order; that has helped me, also. God bless you!
I also thought of this: We probably cannot debase ourselves any more than we can do much at all except by God's grace. When the confessor told me last week to pray to Mary to help me be humbled, he said that she would provide the grace and means to humble me, through God.
God does it all; we simply sense something that He sees in us that could be improved (such as gaining humility!), and then He provides the means to be humbled, or whatever. I was told this morning by the confessor that God will help me know what it is in me that is proud, for I confessed that I sense the pride but cannot pinpoint it and asked if God will show me. Yes. He will. In that, God will in essence, de-base me--take me down from my "self". I hope.
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