It must have taken courage for a young married woman to speak up and draw the boundary line. Yet, it is amazing that someone would be that bold as to invite themselves on a trip!
This morning the nothing had an e-mail from a woman asking that when the nothing visits a long-time elderly friend in the nursing home, to let this woman know, as she wants to come for "30 minutes" to "catch up" with the nothing. The woman adds that she does not want to take time away from the nothing's time with the elderly friend....
From past encounter, this request is not atypical. The woman has access to the elderly friend daily; the nothing does not.
Having read another chapter in St. Silouan's teachings, this time about the Virgin Mary and the Saints, the nothing is going to ask St. Francis de Sales and the Virgin Mary both--to advise on how to respond, if at all, to this woman's rather bold request. St. Silouan emphasizes that the Virgin Mary and the Saints have the glorious ability (mysterious as it is) to be able to adore and glorify God in Heaven while also knowing our lives and thoughts and praying for us on earth.
A spiritual friend has e-mailed another excerpt from St. Francis de Sales letters to persons in the world, and this time it is on humility.
"What then is Christian humility? It is the love of this poverty and abjection, contemplating these in our Lord. Be glad if your misery becomes an object for the goodness of God to show His mercy in.
"...the most miserable are the best off. The mercy of God willingly looks on them."
So, between the two readings, the nothing is asking St. Francis de Sales and the Virgin Mary to please advise on how to handle the woman with her rather interesting request. The nothing has thought of possible solutions, but have these come from SFDS or the BVM? Don't know.
1. Do not respond. Take chances that the elderly friend with weak memory, will not say when the nothing is coming to visit. If the other arrives, having found out, then remain in quiet or else excuse oneself.
2. Respond: "No thanks. It is a private time that is not often available, and the other has daily ability to visit. We can meet separately at another time, to 'catch up' or can 'catch up' via e-mail."
But, the nothing Catholic hermit is going to wait to see if there are other options and what the Saints desire.
Either way, in dealing with this, humility is to be practiced. Motive of glorifying God must be set.
Now, what is the motive here? How can the nothing Catholic hermit glorify God in this small training exercise of ordinary daily life? It brings glory to God to meet with the elderly friend, difficult as it is for this is the same nursing home of much painful memory with the nothing's mother's death. But the nothing tries to visit once a month, for the elderly friend loves the nothing to visit, and the nothing does love the elderly friend, and the elderly friend seems open to spiritual conversation. So spiritual conversation and being present in love to another, glorifies God.
What is the motive of the other woman? That is hard to know for certain, and so one factors in past experiences. They indicate a need to control the nothing's friendship with the elderly friend. How can that glorify God? Hmmm.
But, to offer to meet with the other woman privately, too, and have spiritual conversation and give loving presence to that person, would glorify God. But this may be best done after the visit with the elderly friend; to not bring anything up, to not respond at all, until after the visit. Then that leaves the opening for the woman to find out from the elderly woman, which is likely, and then to deal with the intrusion and control, all the same.
However, this path does leave room for the Holy Spirit to act according to what God desires. Of course, the elderly friend will not want the other woman to leave after just "30 minutes." In that way, the woman will have control of the full visit. Not glorifying to God, but certainly humbling to the nothing, for it is degrading to be manipulated as in the past. But, it seems that in no way ought the nothing to agree in advance to this woman's request, for one person's private visit ought not be the concern of someone else.
Is this woman an enemy? Not at all. But there is a dis-ease with the interactions. One thinks of the adage: Two's company; three's a crowd. The situations in the past have been rather miserable in some aspects, down to being told what can be said and what cannot! SFDS did write that the most miserable are the best off...!
The confessor said this morning that God will let the nothing know what areas of pride are in the nothing. The nothing asked, for the nothing says it "feels" its pride all about, but cannot pinpoint exact types of pride. It is a kind of overall pride, within and without.
Then, in reading St. Silouan and thoughts of the Virgin Mary and the Saints, and of something not brought up in confession that the nothing had written in a letter to the Bishop, the nothing considers that perhaps perpetual humility is already granted and is found in the perpetual realization that the nothing can never love God enough or do enough for God.
This truth seems the crux of perpetual humility, for it is a perpetual condition of the nothing's earthly existence. And in that, is found the perpetual pride thinking one might be able to love God enough or do enough for God.
It is God Who loves the nothing to the degree of the nothing's being able to love God, for it is God's love loving God. It is as it was explained once in a rather beautiful experience, that one must consider a tube as in a figure 8, and that a substance such as neon flows through, and that the nothing is merely at juncture point with this figure 8 and the neon flows through and around in infinity, eternally, and the neon represents God's love and the tube the vehicle, and the Holy Spirit enabling God's love to flow, and this is the love that flows infinitely from God to all who are at juncture point with this figure. Well, it is still hard to describe, as it is ineffable, really.
But perpetual humiity is that recognition that one cannot comprehend except by God Who is Omniscient, one cannot love except by God Who is Love, and one cannot do except by God Who is Creator. And the fact that we are not, except by the grace of God's love that unites us in Him, is ever a humbling reality to our finity.
Yet, we are asked to keep striving for perfection, and we are invited to be united in Christ, and are encouraged by Christ that we can be one with Him as He is one with the Father, by the powerful love of the Holy Spirit.
Another thought that the nothing had not considered: God Who is perfect is humble and meek! So how is it that God is humble, and why does He need to be humble? Is it because we are so low that He can only scoop us up into His Heart by means of humbling Himself to our earthworm level?
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