Catholic Hermit: The Silence of Solitude

As I alternatively write of variety of spiritual and temporal thoughts and occurrences in the life of  days unfolding in this my consecrated Catholic hermit existence, the current exercise is to better grasp and further instill within me what the Church sets forth for hermits.   I turn once more to The Catechism of the Catholic Church, which brings me to a hermit's means of achieving a life devoted to praise of God and salvation of the world...through previously pondered means, now to... the silence of solitude.

Let's refresh with section 920 in The Catechism. We read past 915 and 916, of note in describing the Evangelical Counsels so crucial to the hermit's profession, and come to the section titled: "Eremitic Life."  Offered below is the exact wording of section 915; I have emboldened the silence of solitude, the point of present pondering.

"920.  Without always professing the three evangelical counsels publicly, hermits 'devote their life to the praise of God and salvation of the world through a stricter separation from the world, the silence of solitude and assiduous prayer and penance.'"

Much of excellence has been written of silence, of solitude, and of the silence of solitude.  As a consecrated Catholic hermit, I've read various books on such topics--excellent writings of monks, priests, hermits, spiritual masters.  There are essays to be found online as well as within texts, such as writings of the desert fathers and mothers.  We can find statements on the eremitical need and even virtue, of silence and solitude, in the Scriptures. (I will attempt in separate post, a list of books in my personal library.  Very rough pain yet again today; how difficult it is to endure standing upright by bookcases to jot down titles--yet I'll try to do so even if tomorrow.)

Within the writings and the reality of the silence of solitude, we consider both exterior and interior of silence and of solitude.  Think on the truth that in our existences, we can be silent ourselves and experience silence around us, in external way.  

We can keep our voices silent, the environment in which we are at the moment or where we live can be without noise to greater or lesser degrees.  (Even if we silence ourselves as much as humanly possible, there is still noise around us--hum of earth, heart beating and blood coursing through bodily vessels, breath's inhale and exhale, breeze rustling nature, insect winging.

Solitude may be considered, likewise, as exterior and interior "positions" or "potentialities."  External solitude examples include the physical, the temporal, of a body, creature, or some types of things being alone, not having other persons, creature or types of things around, in vicinity.  We or someone or something other, is solitary in a way that is observed, seen, known.

On the other hand, interior silence and solitude have to do with our inner senses and inner essences, our inner dispositions whether or not we are consciously aware of our silence or our solitude.  This interior silence and solitude may occur despite external noise and despite other persons, creatures, or things visibly around us.  When we are in interior silence and interior solitude, what is intangible and non-temporal may or may not be silently or invisibly known to us.

Yet for a hermit, our silence is through, with, and in God; our solitude is through, with, and in God.  The experience of a silent, solitary soul uniting with the immensity of the seemingly silent omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent God creates the ultimate in the silence of solitude.

Consider the prophet Ezekiel seeking God in the silence of solitude.  He listened with exterior and interior senses, he stood alone at the mouth of the cave.  When he became silent and removed from the presence of all around him, then it was he "heard" God; he became aware of God alone, solus Deus.

We may be aware in our conscious practicing or of positioning ourselves in the silence of solitude.  Over time in living the silence of solitude, we may not be consciously aware.  Or we may come to the experience of such a silent, solitary union with breath and voice of God and the reality of His presence in us or us in Him, that we are unknowing of such profound silence of solitude.

This brings to the fore the reality of the silence of solitude being a progression.  I consider the title of the filmed documentary, first time within a Carthusian charterhouse for such exposure:  Into Great Silence.  The title is not "In" Great Silence but rather "Into" Great Silence.  The silence of solitude involves movement and growth, of evolving silence, evolving solitude, and together a flow of one with the other and of one into the other.

The silence of solitude has not only the flow of progression, but there may be an ebb of progression--a receding or lessening of silence, solitude and the silence of solitude.  This ebb of the silence of solitude can occur off and on in the days, weeks, months, and years of a hermit's vocation and life.  There are situations and phases in which an eremitic might have more noise and less silence; the hermit's solitude may be intruded upon.  

The ebbing of silence of solitude can occur due to the hermit's own choices--a slippage in the hermit's vocational striving in stricter separation from the world in the silence of solitude.  God can allow challenges to the hermit's silence of solitude of which the hermit must respond in one way or other. 

The ebbing may be due to God's allowing (different than challenging) of unavoidable situations such as a hermit's health declining, permanent or temporary change in circumstance or locale.  In more rare situations God's will may be for the hermit (usually via director, priest, bishop, superior) to accept a shift in the living out of the hermit's vocation.  (St. Bruno and St. Colette are each examples of God's desiring, asking, willing such a change in these hermits' vocations.)

For it is God who leads us into silence and solitude; God is the One who keeps us in the embrace of silence and solitude. Thus we become one with God's own silence, in His own solitude, as much as our beings can comprehend and fathom the silence of solitude of God in Himself.  God wills the degree and the flow (and of what God-deigned ebb) of our silence of solitude within His silence of solitude.  We become God's own in His silence and of His solitude.

There are other more practical and indicative aspects of silence, solitude, and of the silence of solitude.  We do well to ponder suffering's silence, suffering's solitude, suffering's silence of solitude in actual, temporal aspects as well as in the reality of Christ's suffering in the silence of solitude.

We may take some moments or more to consider personality types and silence and of solitude.  Consider the marvelous ways in which God brings about the glory of silence of solitude in a person whose personality or learned socialization was that of highly interactive, social, and generously, purposely, interactively involved in a life in the world among many people.  Yet he can call such a person to His will and purposes as an eremitic in the life of His Church; and while the personality instilled by God in that person, that soul,  God effects all the graces necessary to mold the hermit to His desires in ways that mystify.

As God is love, the consideration of the hermit's increasing, holy formation within the silence of solitude ought also include that of the place of charity in silence, charity in solitude, and charity in the silence of solitude.  A hermit must discern when charity calls for the hermit to speak and to be presently, actively available to another or others.  This is particularly important in the hermit's relationships and possible vocation prior to being called by God to enter the eremitic life in the Church.  Charity must reign amidst practical and spiritual parameters, yet the silence of solitude is best broken when charity is the reason and purpose:  God is love.  

Yet charity also informs the hermit when the silence of solitude is threatened beyond what is necessary, holy, and of God's will in the various situations a hermit encounters throughout the vocation.  God in His mercy understands when a hermit ebbs too far or frequently from the silence of solitude; but the hermit must remain within God's heart of silence of solitude, even when called out of the silence of solitude for charitable reasons and purposes.  The ebb, even if brief, must be returned to the flow into great and greater silence of solitude.

These thoughts are my own, in this present moment of a deeper, more intense than ever before, silence of solitude in the reform of my lived, for better or worse, eremitic vocation of 20 years.  In self-examen on this very topic of a hermit's silence of solitude, I know the areas in which I feel or think I need less silence or less solitude.  I'm considering the role of internet, even if noiseless, or silently reading an article or a tangible book, in regard to what is silent noise, what is or is not solitude.  

When I watch such as the documentary Athos the other day, or last night watched a most intriguing film based on a true life couple of which the theme that of Christlike charity to lead one's enemy to a holy death--I can grasp that in a way, the persons in the film become company of sorts.  They enter into the solitude of my hermitage, of my external and internal senses as guests who speak with exterior voices and enter into the interior silence of my mind, heart, and soul.

In doing some internet searches of contemporary hermits in the life of the Church--Catholic and Orthodox--I find the degrees of each hermit of their progression in the silence of solitude.  There is no judgment on my part, nor should there be on anyone's part.  We hermits are in progress yet while in situ; God is our ultimate superior to Whom we have utter and full obedience; Jesus is our beloved savior, spouse, mentor ; the Holy Spirit is our guide and instructor.  At least, again, these are my thoughts.  

There are times in a hermit's vocational progression as well as in the make up of the hermit's on-going temporal and spiritual circumstances that cause the unique and individualized aspects that God knows, allows, and understands.  Yet we hermits still must strive in the progression, in faith and hope in God toward perfection in what God wills of us within our vocations, our lives in this world, and our eventual union in Him for eternity.

The silence of solitude is a spoke in the wheel of a hermit's journey.  The wheel rotates and propels this vehicle of vocation called the eremitic life in the consecrated life of the Church.  We hermits, as other followers of Christ, are consecrated by God and consecrated in Christ; we are baptized in the Holy Spirit.  And specifically as hermits, we are living out, to varying degrees and holiness, our lives in His Real Presence, yet one in the vast Body of Christ, His Church.

God bless His Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Hermit Honesty

Today the Home Health Nurse paid a final visit.  Progress--at least in not having health professionals coming to the house as much and now barely at all.  Only have the physical therapist once a week--much needed yet.  Now I'm being told (and research substantiates) that the exercise limitations and movement restrictions will be for 12 weeks, at least.  I certainly do not want the bone fusion to not be firm and stabilized.

The Lord continues to work in my body, mind, heart, and soul.  He can affect and inform me in unique, unexpected ways.  Once more, for the seemingly thousandth time, I am going to strive to not use writing as a means of distracting from pain.  The same goes for talking, such as the brief and rare times I speak with anyone, especially in this recovery period; but it is in general, that I speak little.  I'm considering it to be unnecessary, much of what I might say, particularly when it is to distract my mind from too much pain.  Better to take pain meds if the pain is that high.  

(The nurse today wondered why I was lowering the pain meds but then answered his query--"You are just doing it on your own."  Yes, I experiment with lowering the meds to a point that I can then, by God's grace, handle the level of pain, for too much medication can make a person drowsy, although rest is helpful in healing.  It has to be a good balance, a beneficial balance between being able to manage pain and of needing medication to help with that management.)

I am continuing to delve into what I can call "Hermit Honesty."  I desire to be genuine as a conscrated Catholic hermit; and part of being genuine is to be honest--to know myself well, to not deceive myself, and to be honest with self and others.

In all honesty, much of what I write could be written with fewer words.  This includes what I speak such as a phone call last evening from someone far away.  I find that this mind creates an image or can also recall in detail a scenario, and then the words begin to describe one or both or repeat words spoken or read, to that same detail.  It is unnecessary; once again I am honestly thinking the detail of much of the written and spoken word that comes from me, to be unnecessary.  I'm praying for discernment of description, content, and length.

Last week I wrote of the escapism I'd slipped into by watching and dozing on and off through a series of programs live streamed through my hermit's window to the world: the laptop.  Then over the weekend I was drawn back into it one night when I could not sleep as had tried to stop one type of pain med that I take only at night now.  I knew the next day and next, that I could not retain much and was still in enough pain to do spiritual reading beyond the Scriptures.  

However, today I sense the ability to pick up again, to try again to lower pain meds plus attempt some additional reading.  Yet, I can admit that there are various ways in which a person can begin to "play" with our choices.  For example, I honestly can find some good gained from watching the series.  But the good gained is minimal to the time spent; and I am wondering if perhaps I'd sleep sooner and for then longer in the night, without the series continuing on while I doze.  I'll find out tonight, I hope.  In another grasp at hermit honesty, I can honestly conclude that there are degrees of "good gained" in any activity or choice made.

I called the parish nurse today after finding out from the final Home Health Nurse, that their social services offering is to inform me of the various companies in the area who can be hired or put under contract to help people who are home bound.  I cannot afford that, plus my situation is temporary even if a lengthy temporary.  I only need an occasional assist with fresh produce brought in; I had stocked up prior to surgery with staples.  I only need one or two more months of one-time to pharmacy to pick up my med refills.

So I explained a bit to the parish nurse, the situation of what happens when a consecrated Catholic hermit has surgery or is incapacitated for a length of time.  Even though there might be one family member in the area, that person is extremely busy with 3 half-time jobs (one of them more than half-time), maintaining home, family, and getting child to various activities.  

Plus, I explained something the physical therapist mentioned regarding children and adult children of a chronic pain disabled parent.  There are various factors that affect children who've grown up with especially a single parent who is disabled by pain; when it goes on for years into the child's adulthood, there is a burn-out effect and a desire to just be able to live his or her own busy life that will have its own set of sufferings and painful aspects to contend with in daily life.

I then mentioned the term "extern" and explained to the parish nurse that externs are necessary for hermits, such as in a religious order such as the Carthusians who live their vocation as hermits but in a conclave of cells.  Or hermits of yore had an extern--some one who would do the externals, who would go out and interface with the world when the hermit was indisposed.  

She started to get the picture. I explained that in my vocation as a privately professed hermit, it my vows are not received publicly, not a matter of being received by a bishop.  With my back situation having grown worse, I was not able to come to Mass much, and as a hermit I would not be, regardless, involved in the active life of the parish.  So there is not a means of developing contacts.

What I need is a temporary extern or two.  I will next summer, after the year of healing and recovery, make a move to another hermitage, a dwelling for this hermit, that will not have much maintenance and little to no yard or garden.  She is going to work on this and call me back.  I am reminded of the reality that there are few hermits in any one diocese and none in some; this is the first time this parish has had a hermit, and this hermit is maintaining as best possible--despite my own backsliding periods--to live it according to what the Church sets forth as pertains to the eremitic life.

In my renewed attempt in this new month, along with the Psalm yesterday that reminded me to "Sing a new song"--I've decided to ponder in writing, bit by bit, phrase by phrase, the sections in The Catechism of the Catholic Church that pertain to what I as a consecrated Catholic hermit, am to live and to be.  I will strive to live and be all the more, a consecrated Catholic hermit, in full honesty within and to myself, and to you readers, in the anonymously written process.

For now, I will cite the sections 920 and 921 which are found in The Catechism under "Consecrated Life of the Church", and then: "Eremitic Life."  In the next post, I will begin the dissection of all vastness in all honesty, contained in these few lines of relatively few words.  God bless His Real Presence in us!

"920   Without always professing the three evangelical counsels publicly, hermits 'devote their life to the praise of God and the salvation of the world through a stricter separation from the world, the silence of solitude and assiduous prayer and penance.

"921  They manifest to everyone the interior aspect of the mystery of the Church, that is, personal intimacy with Christ.  Hidden from the eyes of men, the life of the hermit is a silent preaching of the Lord, to whom he has surrendered his life simply because he is everything to him.  Here is a particular call to find in the desert, in the thick of spiritual battle, the glory of the Crucified One."