Catholic Hermit: Married Hermits (and other Catholic hermit considerations)

There seems to be more invented information stated as if fact or church legality regarding who and what consecrated Catholic hermits may or may not be and do.  I receive inquiries when such opinions are written by others in ways to appear as if law, truth, or promulgated edict.

I remind readers that any of us hermits, professed and avowed privately or publicly and thereby as eremites in the Consecrated Life of the Catholic Church, are at most and least simply writing our thoughts and opinions on any aspects of hermit life beyond the written words found in Sections 920, 921, and the two additional sections of Canon Law 603.

When I have noticed inquiries as "Can hermits be married?"  or "Married hermits?",  usually it means someone has been creating opinions as if fact on such topics, although on rare occasion a reader has personal, incidental curiosity or sincere inquiry.  For these latter inquirers, my own personal recommendation is if you are discerning a hermit vocation, read the Church's statements on "Eremitic Life" in The Catechism of the Catholic Church, and then if you believe God has called you to be a diocesan hermit, public profession, also refer to CL 603.  

Then, (my personal recommendation) discuss your call from God and interest in the hermit vocation, with your priest or confessor, or if you already have--with your spiritual director, of which I always recommend a wise and holy Catholic priest with some years of lived experience, to be a good choice in guidance.  At some point in your discernment process, your director (if you feel God specifically calling you to be a diocesan hermit) might refer you to your diocese director of vocations--often a seasoned priest, or Vicar General in diocese.

We consecrated Catholic hermits who offer readers our thoughts are writing from hopefully our lived experiences, or from what we have read of saintly hermits in the Church's history, or of course, from our personal opinions on hermit matters.  Those few of us professed and avowed hermits who are called, also by God, to be writers, or in essence sharers through personal writing, ought be humbly explicit in that what we write is thought and opinion, and not present what we write on various topics or inquiries, as other than our personal thoughts, notions, suggestions, or present moment considerations on whatever topic related to hermit vocation and hermit life.

Today's first reading proclaimed at Mass, reminds us to not be deceived.  We must learn to use critical thinking skills including judgment, when we read what in hermit writer blogs amounts to opinion journalism and personal reflection--unless the brief statements on hermit vocation in Church documents are the only written material cited.

"Children, let no one deceive you." ~ First Letter of John 3:7a

Thus, when a hermit writer discusses topics such as married hermits or if a hermit can be married, readers should realize that there are no explicit "rules" or Church regulations regarding this topic.  What we do have are historical precedents or trends, and the common sense interpretation and application of what it means to live our lives in the "silence of solitude" and "hidden from the eyes of men [others]."  

Yet even "solitude" has been given leeway, such as a bishop who canonically approves two or more women to live together in a house, or a young woman to live in childhood home with her parents; or a bishop who approves of a hermit to live with other hermits or with the plan of creating a "religious order" of sorts, for hermits.  Obviously, there is not a strict definition of "solitude".  So we cannot always assume that would be a reason for married persons to not be allowed to be hermits.

In fact, we have historical fact and precedence of married persons having become hermits, and saint hermits, as it turns out after their lives have been lived and they have departed this temporal world for some time.  St. Nicholas of Flue is one such example of not only being married, but also a father of 8 or 9 children, who became a hermit with his wife and children's permission, who was not divorced, no annulment, and has been canonized and a patron saint of Switzerland for some centuries.

There have been other married hermits in the Church, although this is rare.  In contemporary times, I personally know of a hermit who is married.  He lives in Germany, and his wife is in agreement of his hermit vocation, and of obvious shift in their married vocation, as Catholic hermits are to profess the three evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience.  Chastity would suggest cessation of marital sexual acts.  This hermit, a man, is spiritually directed by a Franciscan monastic.  While he and his wife share a dwelling, their home, he spends his time as much in solitude as would the two women, canonically approved by a US bishop, who live together, shop together, in a home they share together.  Obviously, the German man did not, any more than did St. Nicholas of Flue, divorce his wife.

Granted, we can assume (this is a good word to keep in mind when we read the blogs or other writings of thoughts and opinions of consecrated Catholic hermits or those others who write about Catholic hermits) that married hermits have been in Church history and remain to be quite a rare situation for eremites.  We may disagree with it being attempted, or have strong opinions against it, or question whether or not it could be successful or "best" for the spiritual progression of and promote the various aspects or stated posits of the Church per "Eremitic Life".  

But we can also make observations as to hermits who are canonically approved by a bishop or those privately professed, not living up to our "assumptions" or our interpretations of what the Church states, as there are always degrees by which these statements may be viewed and considered.  For example, what does "stricter" entail, when the Church states that hermits live in "stricter separation from the world"?  That is a moving-target type word, as it states "stricter", not "strict."  If the statement had been "strict separation from the world," then we'd be (hermits, our spiritual directors or bishop or his designee, or other persons observing the Catholic hermits) trying to establish some sort of limits or definition of what is "strict" and what is "not strict."  As it is, we humans--hermit or not--must develop an honest sense of what is "stricter separation", and strive to evolve in being malleable to increasing separation from the world, which depends much on our individual circumstances.

A year ago I yet did not have a hermitage, after having had to move from previous hermitage due to financial considerations.  At some point, I may have to live in a nursing facility, or might end up in hospice or hospital for final weeks or days of life.  The stricter separation from the world, in some instances unavoidable or humbly necessary, may seem to back-track in degree of "strict-er."

As to married hermits, yes there have been and are some or even one married hermit, allowed and approved in the Catholic Church, just as there are no doubt hermits with same sex attractions or who have never had dating experiences with opposite sex, or who seem to be balanced in relating with those of opposite sex such as with opposite sex spiritual director or bishop's designee, but there also may be some who seemingly surround and relate with mostly or exclusively same gender persons.  There is no "rule" or "defined regulation" in Church law or documents saying that a consecrated Catholic hermit cannot have same-sex orientation, or should have had dating and relationship experience, or having fallen in love with someone of opposite sex, earlier in life.

So, also, there is nothing specifically stated that a Catholic hermit must not be married, cannot be divorced, or if divorced must have or do not need to have, an annulment by the Church  There again, anyone who tries to create rules and regulations that are not written and promulgated by the Church, is simply taking his or her own opinions and thoughts on various topics, out of the factual and into personal (even if might have some reasonable points and suggestions) into realm of speculation.  It also can suggest the person has taken upon him- or herself, the mantle of being authority or of Church hierarchy, or is assuming a status to invent Church law and precedent.  Of that, hermit humility precludes.

A consecrated Catholic hermit's priestly spiritual director or bishop (although there is no Church regulation or statement that says a hermit must have a priest as spiritual director--so could have a child spiritual advisor, although common sense would lean otherwise) is best to guide discernment process or to over time, help the hermit fine-tune the progression of formation and growth of a hermit's vocation.  Of course, the hermit's progression ought be one of increasing dedication of life lived in praise of God and praying for the salvation of the world, as key elements; the more spiritual aspects of a hermit's vocation remain in addition to the more temporal or "housekeeping chores" of hermit vocation--such as the silence, the solitude, the stricter separation from the world aspects.

When some hermit states when or how often a previously married hermit's family would visit the hermitage, or if a hermit who was married must have an annulment, or if can or cannot watch a grandchild on occasion, or should not have money to lend family, it is part of a reader's discernment to consider especially if the opining hermit has absolutely no lived experience of such themselves.  The reader (may be other hermits or those discerning eremitic vocation) can make critical judgment in what is being stated, as to fact or not fact, as to experiential or not opinion or advice based on experiential lived experience--and for how long if person opining has experience, etc.  Most if not all hermit blog commentary is opinion and supposition, with or without lived practice, and that which a reader can discern for better or worse.

It is also truth, that hermits who are privately professed and not of the public, canonical, diocesan hermit path, may seek and receive advice, or even be spiritually director by their diocese bishop, or by an abbot, or even have a canon lawyer as their spiritual director.  There is nothing stated that privately professed hermits are not allowed to nor need to discuss or be directed or advised even if not continuously, by their bishops.  (I don't think this point has been stated by other hermit writers as fact, or to insinuate that only hermits who have sought to be diocese hermits have direction from their bishops even ongoing, but I want to emphasize that we hermit writers must guard against presenting our opinions and suppositions, our personal thoughts, as if fact and regulation.)

There are enough different viewpoints from various bishops in how they desire diocesan hermits to live--of which some might not approve a divorced hermit and another would, or annulment not needed or in another case is needed; or a spiritual director might insist on certain aspects to be in place, and another spiritual director, not at all.  That is why in reality and essence, some hermits might be married, and others not only never married but also required to be heterosexual in orientation, or of a certain age, or not allowed to be in jobs involving interacting with people.  Even a bishop's or spiritual director's views on hermits needing to remain in same location or not, or hermit should not travel with friends or vacation, or having close friendships or not, can vary.  

It is all right--even good and best--that the hermit situations and spiritual direction vary, for the hermit vocation allows for individual circumstances and also, very importantly, allows for and encourages progression.  It is a vocation of motility, and is affected by environment and personal circumstances and situations--always potentially growing and altering.  The goal is, always for the better and best, in praise of God, prayer for the world, in being a silent preaching of Christ, in love of God and others, in communion with all in the Body of Christ, the Church, in progression to eventual union in His Real Presence.

Catholic Hermit: Hermit Honesty

Today the Home Health Nurse paid a final visit.  Progress--at least in not having health professionals coming to the house as much and now barely at all.  Only have the physical therapist once a week--much needed yet.  Now I'm being told (and research substantiates) that the exercise limitations and movement restrictions will be for 12 weeks, at least.  I certainly do not want the bone fusion to not be firm and stabilized.

The Lord continues to work in my body, mind, heart, and soul.  He can affect and inform me in unique, unexpected ways.  Once more, for the seemingly thousandth time, I am going to strive to not use writing as a means of distracting from pain.  The same goes for talking, such as the brief and rare times I speak with anyone, especially in this recovery period; but it is in general, that I speak little.  I'm considering it to be unnecessary, much of what I might say, particularly when it is to distract my mind from too much pain.  Better to take pain meds if the pain is that high.  

(The nurse today wondered why I was lowering the pain meds but then answered his query--"You are just doing it on your own."  Yes, I experiment with lowering the meds to a point that I can then, by God's grace, handle the level of pain, for too much medication can make a person drowsy, although rest is helpful in healing.  It has to be a good balance, a beneficial balance between being able to manage pain and of needing medication to help with that management.)

I am continuing to delve into what I can call "Hermit Honesty."  I desire to be genuine as a conscrated Catholic hermit; and part of being genuine is to be honest--to know myself well, to not deceive myself, and to be honest with self and others.

In all honesty, much of what I write could be written with fewer words.  This includes what I speak such as a phone call last evening from someone far away.  I find that this mind creates an image or can also recall in detail a scenario, and then the words begin to describe one or both or repeat words spoken or read, to that same detail.  It is unnecessary; once again I am honestly thinking the detail of much of the written and spoken word that comes from me, to be unnecessary.  I'm praying for discernment of description, content, and length.

Last week I wrote of the escapism I'd slipped into by watching and dozing on and off through a series of programs live streamed through my hermit's window to the world: the laptop.  Then over the weekend I was drawn back into it one night when I could not sleep as had tried to stop one type of pain med that I take only at night now.  I knew the next day and next, that I could not retain much and was still in enough pain to do spiritual reading beyond the Scriptures.  

However, today I sense the ability to pick up again, to try again to lower pain meds plus attempt some additional reading.  Yet, I can admit that there are various ways in which a person can begin to "play" with our choices.  For example, I honestly can find some good gained from watching the series.  But the good gained is minimal to the time spent; and I am wondering if perhaps I'd sleep sooner and for then longer in the night, without the series continuing on while I doze.  I'll find out tonight, I hope.  In another grasp at hermit honesty, I can honestly conclude that there are degrees of "good gained" in any activity or choice made.

I called the parish nurse today after finding out from the final Home Health Nurse, that their social services offering is to inform me of the various companies in the area who can be hired or put under contract to help people who are home bound.  I cannot afford that, plus my situation is temporary even if a lengthy temporary.  I only need an occasional assist with fresh produce brought in; I had stocked up prior to surgery with staples.  I only need one or two more months of one-time to pharmacy to pick up my med refills.

So I explained a bit to the parish nurse, the situation of what happens when a consecrated Catholic hermit has surgery or is incapacitated for a length of time.  Even though there might be one family member in the area, that person is extremely busy with 3 half-time jobs (one of them more than half-time), maintaining home, family, and getting child to various activities.  

Plus, I explained something the physical therapist mentioned regarding children and adult children of a chronic pain disabled parent.  There are various factors that affect children who've grown up with especially a single parent who is disabled by pain; when it goes on for years into the child's adulthood, there is a burn-out effect and a desire to just be able to live his or her own busy life that will have its own set of sufferings and painful aspects to contend with in daily life.

I then mentioned the term "extern" and explained to the parish nurse that externs are necessary for hermits, such as in a religious order such as the Carthusians who live their vocation as hermits but in a conclave of cells.  Or hermits of yore had an extern--some one who would do the externals, who would go out and interface with the world when the hermit was indisposed.  

She started to get the picture. I explained that in my vocation as a privately professed hermit, it my vows are not received publicly, not a matter of being received by a bishop.  With my back situation having grown worse, I was not able to come to Mass much, and as a hermit I would not be, regardless, involved in the active life of the parish.  So there is not a means of developing contacts.

What I need is a temporary extern or two.  I will next summer, after the year of healing and recovery, make a move to another hermitage, a dwelling for this hermit, that will not have much maintenance and little to no yard or garden.  She is going to work on this and call me back.  I am reminded of the reality that there are few hermits in any one diocese and none in some; this is the first time this parish has had a hermit, and this hermit is maintaining as best possible--despite my own backsliding periods--to live it according to what the Church sets forth as pertains to the eremitic life.

In my renewed attempt in this new month, along with the Psalm yesterday that reminded me to "Sing a new song"--I've decided to ponder in writing, bit by bit, phrase by phrase, the sections in The Catechism of the Catholic Church that pertain to what I as a consecrated Catholic hermit, am to live and to be.  I will strive to live and be all the more, a consecrated Catholic hermit, in full honesty within and to myself, and to you readers, in the anonymously written process.

For now, I will cite the sections 920 and 921 which are found in The Catechism under "Consecrated Life of the Church", and then: "Eremitic Life."  In the next post, I will begin the dissection of all vastness in all honesty, contained in these few lines of relatively few words.  God bless His Real Presence in us!

"920   Without always professing the three evangelical counsels publicly, hermits 'devote their life to the praise of God and the salvation of the world through a stricter separation from the world, the silence of solitude and assiduous prayer and penance.

"921  They manifest to everyone the interior aspect of the mystery of the Church, that is, personal intimacy with Christ.  Hidden from the eyes of men, the life of the hermit is a silent preaching of the Lord, to whom he has surrendered his life simply because he is everything to him.  Here is a particular call to find in the desert, in the thick of spiritual battle, the glory of the Crucified One."