I'm pondering yet the 3-way conversation yesterday morning, and various of the man's statements surrounding his miraculous transcendence of physical pain. Most all of what he said does coincide with what I've been told spiritually, mystically, and is in keeping with the saints such as John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila, and also of Scriptures, of what Jesus teaches and lived.
The man brought up the primary aspect of love, of unconditional love and that it is through love that we are empowered. He also mentioned detachment, that he learned he must detach from the temporal, including physical pain, judging, and also from suffering as a teacher. (He explained that suffering is for the purpose of teaching us, and once we no longer need that tool in our lives--if we can let go of it in this life--then we will be healed and not experience that.
He brought up points of being able to control or intentionalize his progressing at any point, from his third dimensional, temporal body and the sluggish or dense aspects of thought and emotions, to enter into the 4th dimension which he described as being able to yet function, converse, yet with those who are more or less trapped in the 3rd dimension (our basic, temporal status) without their realizing he is able to view from a higher energy frequency, or perspective. He also is able to, by his own intentioning, go into the 5th dimensions which he describes as his body, mind, heart, and spirit freed from temporal and not nearly as able to interact in a conscious manner; I think he called this blissful.
I did ask if he had ever died. He said he had come to a point (maybe more than once, I think three times; I'm trying to recall as much was spoken in a short period of time) in which he was ready to totally leave his body for good, was given that option that he could choose, himself, but he decided to not leave due to what he had learned and desired to teach others, and to help with his mission of healing.
This caused me to recall a time in which I left my body. (There have been other times, but this was a time earlier on in which I could also see myself from outside my self). I was with my earthly spouse before the altar of the Protestant church in which we offered our marital vows. (This event occurred shortly after the spouse had decided did not want to be married any more.) I began to float upward and out, and thought I would simply keep going--except then I noticed I was tethered by a soft, pliable, partly see-through silver cord or tube. It seemed a visual metaphor of an umbilical cord.
My body ceased its upward floating when the cord came to its length, and I came back down into my body. However, my body was as if paralyzed to the point that I needed all energy to verbalize to the spouse (who had not left for good, yet) to call in sick to my workplace, due to the physical depletion. I did not share what had transpired; it would not have been grasped at all by the temporal spouse and definitely not helpful as the spouse was bothered by anything spiritual, as I later was able to understand why this was the case.
He also pointed out that after he had the bliss of transcendence, he understood that pain is merely perspective, and once he could change the perspective of pain being form, he no longer experienced pain as physical pain and suffering. I did notice on his website that he helps cancer patients to no longer "own" their cancer, which is common enough practice, I think, of considering cancer as negative, and of battling against it as going to war against the cancer cells, killing them. It is an understandable approach of which I've read and also known people who are thus encouraged.
However, in my experiences of this type, I did nothing to bring on the leaving nor of determining to come back. Even in my physical, medical death experience, I did not intend it, nor did I bring it on or control any of it. In fact, when God asked me if I wanted to go on with Him or to return, I knew I wanted to go on with Him but would not say it. Rather, I said I would do whatever God wanted of me. He sent me back immediately, obviously. Here I am some 32 years and a lot of life and suffering later!
So this is a point in which there is a difference between my experiences and the man who was sharing his amazing story. It has to do with the role of suffering and also of intention. As to intention, perhaps it would be preferable to have more control over the movement of the mind, emotions, and soul, flowing from different aspects of awareness and spirit, of dimensions as the man refers to what some might call altered states, or Teresa of Avila terms mansions, or John of the Cross refers to as spirit and soul, other mystic saints label as rungs of ladder or spiritual alphabet.
I don't know about intention, other than as for myself, I am content to be more a receptive vessel and to hold the commitment reflected in these Scriptures: "Thy will, Lord, not mine, be done." "Here I am Lord, I have come to do Thy will." "Speak, Lord, Thy servant is listening."
I have often marveled at various times in my life, such as in the death experience as well as less dramatic or physically life-and-death moments, that somehow within me, the Holy Spirit seems to take over and speaks for me, or inspires me to speak (thought-flashing mode as well as sometimes externally in words) as to defer to God to choose. When I have no conscious awareness of God's will, I tend to go forth with the attitude of casting the nets, asking the Lord to do as He wills as far as a fish or many or none (metaphorically, in whatever then transpires in the temporal or spiritual).
That is rather at the point I'm in now, especially after the 3-way phone call. I relinquish all the God to help me figure out if I have been remiss in not more actively seeking through some actual means of temporal-spiritual effort. (The man meditates watching his breath, a type of trance self-induction and of altering the body's energy waves and frequencies, if we are considering it physiologically, I suppose). I frankly have not any indication from the Lord that this is for me to be doing or pursuing, any more than He has ever allowed or encouraged me in that regard in the past.
However, the reminder that it is through unconditional love that I will someday be able to transcend pain, is helpful. I will pray for deeper conversions, and specifically for the grace of increased unconditional love--even of pure unconditional love, of the perfection of love of God in Himself! Yet, while I ask, I will wait. I can use my mind and heart to consider better the relationships and situations, and to think with my heart in pouring out love.
Yet the reality of so many times the Lord has spoken, taught, shown, revealed and explained to me on matters regarding suffering, I cannot go against these aspects that have aligned with His Living Word and also with temporal reality. While on earth, I will know earthly pain. Yes, I can learn to transcend that pain when I attain to unconditional love. This is true. But it is a process, and that is the point of it being a climb, a progression, a stairway, a ladder, and so forth. If anything, the Lord continues to teach me to not push, to not force. His yoke is easy, His burden is light. I desire, I love, yet also I suffer.
Perhaps this comes down to my holding onto suffering? The man mentioned this, in so many words, that we can decide to let go of suffering when we no longer need it or rely on it as a teacher. I'd have to consider this, pray about it, for all that the Lord has shown and taught me of suffering is that suffering is quite intrinsically bound with love. "Love to suffer, and suffer to love!" "Be an immolation!" "You will find Him in your pain!"
Yes, all this requires letting go: detachment; purgation of the senses and purgation of the soul. "Let go, let go, my poor gray dove!" "Mortification." The man sharing his story mentioned aspects of these, albeit in different vocabulary, more what we might consider new age or Eastern philosophy vocabulary. But he did not seem to have the understanding of suffering and love--other than perhaps his intentioned passage to bliss and transcending physical pain (mind and emotion over matter?) did very much lead him to viewing all with purity of love, as he put it.
I return to seeing Jesus on the cross. He suffered and died, but then He resurrected and ascended. This was His ultimate purpose and mission after his public years of teaching, preaching, and healing. (Of course, Jesus suffered much in those three or so years, also, in hardships and persecutions, in sorrow that so many had such difficulty grasping what He was trying to explain, and in their desire for temporal healing, also. People wanted miracles; they wanted signs. It is true that we people cannot seem to realize miracles of the temporal are temporal; we are still going to suffer, we are still going to die; we are dying in increments in every present moment, bodily.
It just seems that I leave off from the man's way of being and doing, when it comes to suffering and it's not only being a teacher. I recall when I converted to Catholicism, to my parents' horror (despite my being 44 years old then). My mother exclaimed in upset and anger, "Catholics GLORIFY suffering!" She went on to say how sick and demented is that, despite my trying to explain to her the good of suffering--well, the good of embracing whatever crosses we are given.
I have written in the past, on a different blog, about what I call "sideways crosses." I will try to find it and repost, but the point is that some suffering comes from God, is allowed by God, is willed and ordained. God views suffering so differently than do we. Yes, it is a tool, a teacher, but it is also an opportunity and a means of union with Christ Who Is God, Who Is Love. Suffering unites us with Love. Thus, "Love to suffer, and suffer to Love!"
Yes, there are times when my mind, heart, and soul are flown away as on wings of a dove. Even in this writing, I have not been consciously aware of my suffering, or at least not much. The pain has poked itself into my thoughts as the pain meds have worn off. I simply do not mind the humility of being on pain medication. It is another form of suffering, of sorts, to bear the cross of people's attitudes and judging of pain medications; judging comes from ignorance and misunderstanding. Thus, judging is definitely a hindrance to love, especially unconditional love.
I am taking that point to mind and heart, for sure. Plus the reminder that we are hindered when we let others' judging of us or misunderstanding of us (unintentional judging--of which I have empathy for that form of judging even though hinders as much as intentional judging which comes from pride). That is a downfall of mine--I let other people's misunderstanding me and/or judging me get me down. And I do know, and it is true, that it also is pride that takes offense, and some form of pride that keeps me tied in with those or situations who do not understand me or judge me.
Jesus tells us that if we offer our peace to someone, and they do not offer it back, we are to move on, shake the dust from our sandals and move on to the next "place". In that, yes, move on into the next level, the next run of the ladder, the next letter of the alphabet, the next room or mansion. And to do that, we must detach from our own feelings and pride--purgation of senses and of soul.
Another aspect of which I'm reminded, is that St. Luke spoke to me in a locution years ago, and he explained to me that it is through love that we heal and are healed. Love heals. And this is not always or necessarily physical healing whatsoever, but it is more so, more importantly, a healing that is beneficial to the thoughts, the emotions, and ultimately best for love to heal the soul.
But of suffering--to me suffering is something of another "dimension" in and of itself. Suffering is an opportunity and a means of union with God. Perhaps, though the man sharing his story of miraculous ability to transcend all physical pain, it was his intense suffering that brought him to God even if he uses other Names for God, such as Divine Entity or something similar. Perhaps part of his mission in helping others is to reach people who are not Christians. There are even some Christians who are awkward and hesitant to call God by that particular Name. St. John Climacus, I believe, writes eloquently on all the many Names of God.
I'm done for now, writing thoughts and considerations of the 3-way phone conversation, of the man sharing his story. Have I desired to do whatever it takes, such as focusing my mind on my breath inhales and exhales for hours on end or some other method to see if I would have a transcendent experience? No. I am content to let whatever God wills, occur.
Would I do some such exercise if God told me to? Is He somehow suggesting to me to try meditating more through the man sharing his method? I don't know. I'm sure it would be very good and lovely of me to silence my mind more, to avail myself more of receptivity to His Holy Will and His Real Presence. Yet, I am not certain that I am not already doing that--other than perhaps when I know I am distracting myself--and that. I admit to intentional distractions of visuals; perhaps music would be better.... Enough on this unless something other surfaces.
These words of St. Paul spoke to me this morning--without, of course, auditory form of speaking. When I read this Scripture as well as many other Scriptures, the answer as to suffering and love (and all else necessary for our progression to union with God, in Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, comes clear and luminous even if not explicable with words! Christ is my All, and I am His nothing.
From today's Mass, first reading, Romans 8:18-25:
"Brothers and sisters:
I consider that the sufferings of this present time are as nothing
compared with the glory to be revealed for us.
For creation awaits with eager expectation
the revelation of the children of God;
for creation was made subject to futility,
not of its own accord but because of the one who subjected it,
in hope that creation itself
would be set free from slavery to corruption
and share in the glorious freedom of the children of God.
We know that all creation is groaning in labor pains even until now;
and not only that, but we ourselves,
who have the first fruits of the Spirit,
we also grown within ourselves
as we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.
For in hope we were saved.
Now hope that sees for itself is not hope.
For who hopes for what one sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance."
