Catholic Hermit: Forgiveness, Penance

Oh, my.  A couple hours of heart-felt, deep writing on aspects in life, in our hearts, minds, and souls that lead into forgiveness--all completed, prayerfully, beautifully of the Lord--and lost with an internet fail!  Well, in the interim an amazing conversation with the wife of a neighbor man--couple I met several days ago happen chance while walking--got my truck battery jumped and charging.

The wife and I conversed as she has so much she is dealing with, helping a family member in another state who is going through terrible suffering of heart, mind, and soul.  Rejection upon rejections!  I will pray and see if tomorrow I will begin afresh, writing about the crucial aspect of forgiveness and of forgiving others.  I had been inspired, also, by the selections below....

[Next day:  I'm not right now in the mode of writing--of trying to recall or be in the inspirational space of which I was two days ago when I wrote on forgiveness and all was lost in an internet storm fail.  However, I have considered the pith of what thoughts came to me and I wrote; and that is the crucial necessity of forgiving others and ourselves, as forgiveness allows love to flow freely and once more after we or others have unintentionally (usually) or intentionally slighted, hurt, or done wrong.

[It actually is God who forgives, who allows the forgiveness in us for others and who allows forgiveness of ourselves.  Praying for the grace to be forgiving human beings ought be a "given" aspect and practice for Christians.  Even though hermits live in the silence of solitude, in stricter separation from the world, there is much done in wrongful thoughts and actions--sins always readily and easily available and done.

[And it is also very needful for a hermit to be forgiven by others even if we are not around others often or much; there is plenty in our pasts when living more amidst others and in the world, for which people can hold upset and anger for what we have done, said, or thought that has hurt them.  As for the hermit with God, always we are in a position to offend the Lord in many ways although we do not want to; the vocation in itself can be a struggle in living our lives dedicated to the praise of God and salvation of the world, in assiduous prayer and penance, in stricter separation from the world, in the silence of solitude.

[These aspects alone are easy enough for a hermit to fall short; it is easy for us to knowingly turn from striving in our love of God, in that which would bring us closer and which would improve our prayer live to the benefit of others and to the glory of God.  I know this for I struggle with weariness and wanting what might seem less difficult in focus, or in the weariness of pain not even wanting to get up.  However, there is much I can offer His Real Presence through physical inactivity, yet the mind may be weak and choose what is less than rather than more for love of God and love of others.  Thus assiduous penance goes quite readily along with assiduous prayer, in a hermit's daily and nightly life.]


2844  "Christian prayer extends to the forgiveness of enemies, transfiguring the disciple by configuring him to his Master.  Forgiveness is a high-point of Christian prayer; only hearts attuned to God's compassion can receive the gift of prayer.  Forgiveness also bears witness that, in our world, love is stronger than sin.  The martyrs of yesterday and today bear this witness to Jesus.  Forgiveness is the fundamental condition of the reconciliation of the children of God with their Father and of men with one another."



"Remember not against us the iniquities of the past;
may your compassion quickly come to us,
for we are brought very low.

"Help us, O God our savior,
because of the glory of your name;
Delivery us and pardon our sins
for your name's sake."
     
      ~  Psalm 79:8-9

Catholic Hermit on Sifting, Sorting "Natural" and "Spiritual"

Relative to 1 Corinthians 10 [see previous post], St. Paul (nor this nothing  consecrated Catholic hermit) is not espousing other than that we realize that those of the world--natural men--who do not accept nor grasp the Spirit of God do not perceive, understand, or exist as those who have received the Spirit from God.

In some instances, yes, we spiritual persons may rightly judge in our sifting and sorting process that it is best to distance ourselves or remove ourselves physically or mentally or emotionally from those who are "natural" persons--of the world and not of the Spirit.

This process of sifting and sorting and coming to a decision based upon spiritual judgment may take time in the assessing.  Or, it may come quite quickly--knowing to "take back our peace" proffered another, shake the dust from our sandals, and move on to the next "place."

In personal example, I have a friend who is a "natural person."  She is not a Christian and is not interested in the spiritual, particularly.  But she tolerates me and is respectful; she strives to keep the friendship as do I.  I respect her wisdom of the world, and she has appreciated in some instances the spiritual gifts that the Lord has allowed through me as vehicle, in practical ways but yet beneficial for this friend--and they came through spiritual phenomenon.

I hold no delusions that we would have spiritual discussion other than I can explain some spiritual event without doubt or disdain on the part of this friend.  And, the friend can discuss with me matters and experiences very much of the "world" without my judging in the way of demeaning judging nor offense at the friend's life style or world point of view.

There is no need, nor would I under these beneficent terms for decades, cease interactions. In fact, I appreciate and honor the perspective this friend has from and in the world.  I do not discuss that which the friend would not understand beyond what is verified by the friend's witnessing or being the recipient of a spiritual good.  The key, of course, is that I offer my peace, and my peace is returned--even though the other does not understand nor seeks to understand matters of the Spirit.

The disposition of natural to spiritual is always a potential, of course.  But I do not proselytize nor place expectations of the other, dependent upon interactions and friendship.  Prayer is the process of those spiritual who have the mind of Christ--prayer and charity.  And charity is the process of many natural persons of the world.

Yet there are those of the world--the natural persons--whose rejection of the Spirit or even the inability for them to appreciate, desire, or be open to receiving the Spirit from God keeps them from being good for the "spiritual" to interact with in tangible ways.  Or, at least the interactions need to be relegated to business encounters or other relegated interactions that can pass the sift and sort process by virtue of some necessity.

Of those "natural" persons of the world who we spiritual persons must judge in a sift-and-sort manner, with charity but requiring we take back our peace and move on--we must be firm and not waver.

Ironically, the hermitage guest of Sunday before last, has continued to make email contact with increasing put-down of this hermit.  There is a double-sided twist to the words written, and there is evidence of the guest trying to subjugate the hermit's personhood and level some superior-leaning "put-downs."  I responded kindly, briefly, to three emails--being firm that I was not on the same pathway as the guest, not spiritually nor with life choices.

I thought the guest had finally accepted that I had sifted, sorted, and moved on.  I was not interested in the guest's insistent viewpoints of the world, nor of the worldly means by which the guest had become attached.

But then again, I received a message, offering assistance with whatever tasks I might need help with.  I had mentioned this guest and the forewarning dream to my "natural" friend in an email, and the friend had responded with agreement and also with some humor.  Yet my friend so wants me to make physical progress with the hermitage renovations (and oh, so do I!) that the friend emailed I should let the guest come and help with a task I had to overcome an obstacle that could have used help.  What would it hurt?

Ah, no!  The one-time guest is sifted and sorted, wisely so, from the mind of Christ of which I am in and His mind in me.  I explained to my friend that the good man at the lumberyard phone-guided me with a means to complete the task (cellar door threshold) without needing the use of a hammer drill again....  Already, too much time, energy, and negativity transpired with the ensuing contacts from the guest.  I am not responding to the recent contact, for there can be too much time in sifting and sorting beyond what is necessary or best.

However, I will pray for the guest and those who are deceived by drug use as well as those who reject the Spirit from God.  Perhaps the person is comfortable with the term "spirit" but rejects "God."  And, when someone is entrenched in a world affected by hallucinogens without desiring to leave that world, there is not going to be understanding nor acceptance of the spiritual of God, of Christ, of the Spirit.

I did remind my kind friend of the natural world that I'd had a warning dream prior to building my prior hermitage--and I'd not heeded it.  This time, I heed; and I sifted, sorted and judged with the mind of Christ given by the Spirit from God.  Prayer for conversion of however God wills for the natural person of the world will be the only contact at this phase with the guest of Sunday before last....

Catholic Hermit: God Provides!

"God Provides!" has long been a motto of many, including this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit.  Increasingly more, the Lord reminds me--and reminds me to remind others.

Yesterday was able to finally get in Precious Blood (used pick-up truck) and venture into civilization for some needed provisions.  Picked up the bathroom "holy door" from the lumberyard, and stopped at Lowe's to find out from Don what is the status of the on-going cabinet issues.

I had not seen Don in some time, and the last time, I noticed he seemed kind of shaky.  I thought it was due to the firm email I'd sent regarding his not handling the issues that are on-going these 13 months.  He was trying, but it seemed ridiculous for a man his age and fastidious nature.  But yesterday, with time lapsing from seeing him, I was stunned with how thin and gaunt his appearance. It is as if he had aged ten years, once I recalled his outer appearance even a year ago.

He must be ill.  In the night, I reflected upon the many times he seemed to forget to ask the cabinet rep how to correct the issues, or the time lag in ordering a proper-size cabinet to replace one that was not long enough, above range, so that the microwave will be proper height, and "code."

Why have I not been praying more for Don, specifically?  Rather, time has been spent, and mental space and emotion, focusing on the issues rather than considering there must be something within, going on, beneath the surface and not simple incompetence of an otherwise kind and careful man.

God provides!  He provides those for whom we are to pray, and He provides reminders and lessons in returning to focus on souls while concurrently handling the here-and-now temporal responsibilities. Yes, I must be responsible enough to have these cabinets functional.  How could I pass on to the next person living here, cabinets with various flaws?  God would not provide such attitude or moral ill!

When I did return to the hermitage--worn out, pained, hand injury flared--there were a couple of emails.  One was from an account:  They need more Fortitude Fudge!  Send the milk chocolate and the bourbon varieties!  The other email was from someone desiring three more dozen St. Bernard Love of God Bourbon Balls.  "Can you do this and have them here by Wednesday?"

God provides!  Just when I had felt once more that I could not quite push through the "other" side of the recent pain siege "storm," His Real Presence is providing the impetus to keep active in what I have come to call "bread-crumb" jobs.  These are small tasks that I can break up into segments, such as making the fudge but needing it to set for ten hours or so before cutting and packaging.  Or dividing the efforts in making bourbon balls--segmenting, such as now, resting before rolling and wrapping.  Even the fact that my thumb is not needed to roll the balls:  Yes, God provides!  It is His way of providing therapy both physical and emotional!

The love and praying that I pour into these bread-crumb jobs is perhaps why people comment they've never tasted such good fudge and bourbon balls.  Why don't I do that with every single task--when answering a rare phone call or such as conversing with Don over the need to get the cabinet problems resolved before more time lapses?

God provides the gifts of prayer and love; but it takes a strong will and desire to learn to remember and utilize what He provides--love and communication with Him that can change our lives and situations and actually change our and others eternal souls!

And on a purely tangible and temporal level, God provides the means and ways of our lives.  I am going to make it through to the end of this month financially now, and that is good because the pole barn roof is leaking and new French doors need to be more tightly hung.  Raphael answered his phone this time and says he will come this morning to have a look and hopefully correct at least the French doors not being tight enough together where they meet.

God provides!  He provides for all our temporal needs.  Yet, He most importantly (really!) provides for our souls' spiritual growth.  He provides plenty of stretching in our lives, and sometimes He provides complete upheaval if we are heading in a direction He does not will--of course, when we have prayed at some point in our lives the simple prayer that we desire to be in His will or to do His will.  Maybe we prayed that as a child--but time is God's, and He may step in years later if we are going astray in some way that is not even immoral or dangerous in any temporal aspect.  But it may be that we simply are not doing as He wills for our spiritual lives and our souls.

God provides!  He provides the love and the suffering and the means to learn to love to suffer and suffer to love.  Perhaps it is the tremendous pain of this hermit's body that lends some flavor to the fudge and bourbon balls, lends some impetus to the prayers offered for those who will eat them?  God provides in all aspects of our human and eternal existences that the thought and listing is infinite.

God provides!

Catholic Hermit Still Wants to Share

Yes, I still want to write about the insight on sleep of a couple or more weeks ago.  And there is the post I wanted to write last evening regarding a daily-life miracle that is powerful reminder of the Lord's constant watching over us.

As mentioned yesterday, shimming and setting and installing the bathroom base cabinets took much effort.  While using the power drill to cut 2 1/2" holes with a hole bit, the drill jammed at one point and whipped back the right thumb, giving it a hard yank and twist.

Then I had to deal with a cabinet drawer that is faulty--and that involved contacting the cabinet employee to light more fire under the rest of the cabinet issues yet to be resolved.  At least it seems there might be progress, and it has been determined best to not involve the cabinet representative because we've wasted a full year with his excuses.

Somehow, though, there is personal progress, for this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit had a steadiness and calm in making the phone call.  And this despite the reality of the consequence that if we don't get these issues resolved in a more timely manner than the year gone by:  remove the cabinets and return them for refund. Start over with a different manufacturer. 

Time belongs to God, and although myself and others have spent a lot of time installing all the cabinets in this hermitage, sometimes one must lay out the ultimate consequences when justice is not rendered.  Even hermits in our times have to deal with the temporal world; we pay for most goods and services, and we must hold ourselves and others accountable to just standards.

I don't think it will come to pass that I need to return cabinets, but I will if no proper resolution comes to pass on the visible issues that can be corrected, but not by me--or at least not easily.  I am no cabinet specialist, although I have learned how to install them.  But dealing with intricate hardware runners or needing to cut a drawer opening larger, I will leave to the professional cabinet makers.

Then I woke up with extreme pain in the low back.  Too much cabinet wrangling yesterday, getting them into position, shimming under them, lifting up enough to scoot onto shims--something irked the titanium rods which in turn irritated the many nerves that entwine spines.  

The thumb is so painful that holding a tooth brush caused chills from sharp pain.  Ah, a friend had sent a wrist brace as the left wrist has an old ligament injury.  This hermit wears the brace when that flares; and today it was flipped upside down to wear on the right wrist, as bands tighten somewhat around the area of the thumb that is so wrenched and painful.

Writing is not the easiest, but the thumb is not moving much at all.

So, praying occurs more "formally" on days like this when progress could have been made on mixing some Thinset mortar and spreading a thin layer on the bathroom floor, and cutting the Hardie-backer 1/4" cement board that goes over the plywood sub-flooring.  But tools in the right hand will exacerbate the thumb sprain, and the back is not fit to be much off this mattress--and not to lift cement board.

As far as "formal praying" goes, this hermit does not mean verbal or mental prayers.  No, what is meant is more prayer of stillness and of much suffering.  There is the praying of thoughts that are barely thoughts, for suffering becomes the message and messenger.  Suffering can be quite formal in a certain sense.  And the prayer when suffering is indeed a formal-ity that is meaningful.

Just about all else is swept from the present moment when heightened pain comes to visit, unexpected and unannounced.  One has to adapt to a shift from activity and distraction to what the Lord has in Mind within the pulsating pain that becomes an offering of love and prayer.  So that is what is formal prayer--a form of prayer that the Lord graces by means of unexpected circumstances that come with suffering.

Like many of us who are aware of and compassionating with the victims and families of the recent terrorist attacks, our prayers do matter despite what some in the media suggested otherwise.  Yes, "doing" is very important; action in emergencies can take precedence over the seeming inaction of prayer.  Yet not all of us can take action to effect circumstances physically, or at least not always.  

So we pray, and suffering-enhanced prayer indeed is a gift from God that is to be offered on behalf of Christ's suffering-enhanced prayer on the cross.  In the stillness and silence of serious suffering, all else is set aside in the present moment.  We suffer and love and pray.

God bless His Real Presence in us, little children, as we love one another and love God above all things.