Catholic Hermit: Gratitude

Gratitude--I'm reminded to be ever grateful to God in all matters!

And I know it is not easy without reminders such as the young nursing student, Jean Patrick, from Haiti, now a U.S. citizen.  Jean Patrick has helped me three days this week--his only week off from coursework; and he also works every weekend at a nursing facility, and works part-time at the college helping other ESL students with their studies.  Even with that schedule, a hospital calls him hoping he can come in during his week between quarters, to do night shifts.

Jean Patrick's first name is "Evangelist".   He is filled with the Holy Spirit and filled with enthusiasm.  He marvels that people tend to remember him--such as a professor who saw him walking by and bought him lunch.  I pointed out to Jean Patrick that a student such as he is lifts up teachers who otherwise are used to most students not being as hard-working and joyful as he is.

People are drawn to Jean Patrick.

I mentioned to him the other day how he inspires me to smile more, even when in solitude.  Also, he and I love to work at whatever task is before us; but my attitude is not always in gratitude mode due to fairly heavy-duty, constant pain.  Today I became "grumpy" (I term it that--when I can tell I'm becoming tense from too much pain and some little aspect such as the Jean Patrick accidentally doing something that did not quite need to be done just then, causing my truck's tailgate to come off.  It would take both of us to put it back on--a bit heavy it is--and my back was already on high pain alert.

I told JP how my grandson had done it, also, and it can happen to anyone.  I also told him that my pain level is higher (we've been doing hard work here!), and that he can probably tell that I am struggling to not be grumpy.  With that, I was able to make an act of the will to return to praising God and being very grateful for all the blessings--especially that JP was helping me re-gravel the drive.

While it is easy, or so it seems, to be absorbed in negativity, there are actually a majority of positives throughout our days and nights.  When I consider how delightful are the employees at the gravel pit, and how our relationship has developed in the three days I've been driving to get yet another truck load of washed 5/8" chip gravel, or the two loads of pea gravel which JP and I off-loaded and dumped in the vegetable-orchard area for paths and such--well, what lovely people to encounter who work at the gravel pit!  And what a blessing to have the various types of gravel for the different aspects that make the property look so lovely.  

Jean Patrick is so pleased when I take his photo in front of the finished front drive, or by the path we excavated and buried soaker hose in a pipe under the path so water would not seep into the ground by the cellar door.  He is delighted with the box of Chicken Chimichangas that I purchased for him to take back to his apartment.  After a day of hard work, we were yet laughing as we loaded my truck (named Precious Blood) for a dump run.

The advice we read or hear about surrounding ourselves with positive people, is good advice.  Of course, it is not always possible.  Some people are simply not positive, not pleasant, not appreciative nor seeking to be joyful or grateful.

Yet I try to be one such person who others will find pleasant in our encounters, brief though they be.  As a consecrated Catholic hermit, I try to make myself more aware of my presence--and if the pain is rugged, I know to simply explain the problem--which helps the other to know that I am not intentionally being tense or grumpy.  But mostly verbalizing it, reminds me to make more effort, to pray and make an act of the will, to be pleasant and exude gratitude for God and those around me.

I'm sure my battle with rather heavy, constant pain (and horrible pain sieges without notice--periodically) will be always one of my greatest challenges to try to learn to be grateful and pleasant as humanly possible when the pain level rises.  I don't even know if I will succeed fully, but at least I try.  Gratitude is basic for one who loves God--for God has given me all good, and even the suffering He allowed nearly 34 years ago that has continued all these years and will until my soul departs this temporal body, had a good purpose.  God let me know why; but even so it is a challenge to remember to be ever grateful.

Thanks be to God!

Catholic Hermit: The God-Pivot

The last several posts have dealt with the various, sundry tricks the devil is allowed to play.  Yes, it amounts to not much more than "playing" with us. And we have to come to a decision, ultimately, if we are game for playing with the devil, in falling for his tricks time and again.  Then we have to decide if we are willing--and how to--put our foot down and simply determine:  No more!

It is not that the devil will stop harassing and attempting to derail us with (what to the devil are) entertaining-yet-soul-deadly tricks.  He will not cease his fun in this lifetime that is ours to live.  But we can stop the effects of his trickery that creates obstacles, hindrances, distraction, chaos, upset, division, and confusion.  
How?  We simply do not react.

And most important of all--here it comes--we learn to do the God-pivot.

But first, I wish to share a couple more points on the devil's antics in every day life.  I give my own ridiculous experiences.  If you have read the last few posts, you realize that I wrote of how the devil was allowed entrance into my dreams, Thursday night last.  I awoke in a state of upset; the dream was of my doctor becoming caustic and not helpful, not refilling prescriptions.  I quickly realized who was behind such a dream and his desired effect on me: the devil.  I immediately laughed it off and said, "That won't work, either."

However, yesterday when I went to the doctor's, the doctor was indeed rather caustic, not so empathic, and reduced the number of refills, causing me to have to return sooner.  There was no sensitivity nor increasing the amount even a tiny bit when I explained I have to take an extra dose at times when I wake in the middle of the night with break-through pain. The doctor remained a bulwark of obduracy. 

By the time I got to my truck, my mind was reacting.  I had thoughts the devil has long-since counted on creating in me when it comes to the intractable pain, constant, and very little help for it.  Absolutely horrible to be in a position of not knowing if help will be given, or withheld, not that it is overwhelming help to begin with.  I wondered what was the point?  I thought of the millions of people like me with genuine and high levels of pain, and the hassles we go through for even the lowest levels of medical help and support.

I got a grip on my thoughts and laughed.  Ah, the devil was really working it this time, using the doctor as a means, altering the doctor's attitude, bringing a high level of coldness to what ought to be a professional yet compassionate encounter.  Nope!  That was not going to work, either.  Not falling for that trick.

What came next, however, is the God-pivot point. I realized that in every situation in our lives, of course, there is God.  We are in Him, with Him; He is in us, with us, through us.  The Holy Trinity makes their abode in us, as One God living and vibrant--our Creator and Source of all energy and beingness!  

And, in every allowance by God for the tricks of the devil, He desires for us to learn.  We must learn to deal with the negatives, the hindrances, the obstacles.  I recently listened to a news clip of a presidential nominee in this country.  He was being asked how he handled the political wrangling amid negative assaults by his opponents.  He said he "just powers through."  

The Lord expects no less and a lot more from us in our everyday lives--His beloved children who are supposed to be progressing into soul adulthood via the spiritual lives we are to be learning to lead.

So here we have the tricks of the devil going on, yet we have God right there, supervising, observing, thinking with His Mind and Wisdom.  He is our armor and protection, our strength and power.  

While the devil had been allowed to enter my night rest and create an upsetting dream, there was some reality to that dream, as well.  The Lord was testing if I would wake up and fall for the trick, be upset, mull over it, think of past ordeals of pain, worry and fret.  But also, as it turned out in real time, the Lord was giving me a "head's up" that the doctor would not be so kindly nor cooperative.  This type of phenomenon, when we are shown something in the future, is called a "forewarning" or a "prescience."

Thus, the Lord is always with us in every detail in every present moment of our lives.  We are not alone.  It may seem like it, but we must always make the God-pivot in each and every thought, word, situation.  Yes, we can discern the evil one's tricks; and we can also be fooled time and again while we are learning.  (I suppose we can stumble at times to the tricks of the devil all our lives on earth--even after we become adept at discernment and in not reacting.)

The important and all-embracing effort must be, however, in making the God-pivot.  That is, we must always turn the thoughts, words, and situations to God.  We must make the pivot in every present moment, hour, day, night, week, month, year.  Over and over, we must pivot all toward God.  As the church-camp song refrains, "Give God the glory, glory...children of the Lord!"

So I pivoted yesterday, while in my pick up truck, Precious Blood, and gave God the glory, glory!  I praised Him for tipping me off so that how the doctor acted was not that horribly raw.  I got a grip of my emotions and thoughts, and I turned over that situation to the Lord.  He will deal with it.  Faith, hope, love!  

There are several other new assaults and tricks in the past couple of days. One includes someone emailing about a bullying spouse, and I gave input mostly based upon what I am learning of the spiritual combat and how to not react yet how to do the God-pivot.  I did not emphasize enough, I don't think, the God-pivot.  But I tried, and I also realized that my mission is not to keep repeating counsel especially on temporal issues other than stating once or twice.  Then the person needs to decide for him- or herself, as I have to decide with each situation:  How are we going to react?

Are we going to react with our old, habitual reactions of which the devil knows all too well what gets to us, what are our weak points?  Or are we going to stop reacting in the same ways, same thoughts, same emotions?  Are we going to repeatedly let the devil sling us about by the tail, or will we grab the devil by his tail and fling him out of sight, out of reach, out of mind? 

And then, will we just leave it at that, such as if we do put a stop to the devil?  Or will we enact the most critical and important part of our existence and life:  Will we do the God-pivot?  

Will we set aside the devil and his tricks and all thoughts of what he tried to pull on us and how we did not react at all as the devil desired, and will we then give God the glory?  Put all the praise and power and victory that we think is now ours--will we pour it all out like precious oil upon the Lord--will we do that?

And will we pivot it to God each and every time we have spiritual combat in thoughts, words, deeds?  It does happen more often daily and nightly than our conscious awareness can track!  But when we have the victories against temptation, victories against the tricks of the devil and all the obstacles he derives--in the multitudinous aspects of spiritual combat--will we then God-pivot?

If so, we have learned how to properly celebrate life in His Real Presence in our every day lives.  When we do the God-pivot, we are facing East always.  And I tell you this, too, that ever since I've been putting my foot down on the devil, not reacting, using the great gift of even the silence of solitude inner laugh--the Lord has filled me with far more grace in the security of His power and strength. 

There is more peace and assurance, as well.  What used to seem onslaughts, now are silliness.  Just have to step back from situations sometimes, and see them a bit more as God sees them--not such a big deal, the tricks of the devil.  Just silliness, the bulk of it. Makes me laugh at the humor of it all!  Makes me praise God all the more! 

And in all that, too, I give God the glory, glory.  

"O my strength! your praise will I sing;
for you, O God, are my stronghold, my merciful God!" (Ps. 59: 18)
We are children of the Lord, children of the Cross.  Pick it up!  And God-pivot.

Catholic Hermit Remains in Suffering, Praise

Well, I had hoped by today to better able stand, walk about, even get the mulch off the truck.

There is some progress, slight.  I was able to gingerly creep outside--more guardedly than perhaps gingerly--and I was able to bend over and hook up two soaker hoses and turn on the spigots.  Now am back on the mattress using ice pack.

A woman who--turns out--lives not far from this hermit's hermitage, advertised on an area internet site that she has much PVC piping available; she had used it for many berry bushes.  Ah!  One of my needed tasks--past due--is to get bird netting over the blueberry bushes as well as spread out over strawberry patches of which birds and critters are already helping themselves to the first fruits.

I called, and the woman is holding the PVC for me until Wednesday.  I was sure that I could be up and about by today, empty the truck of mulch, and drive to pick up the piping.  But alas, no.  The Lord has me stilled for longer than I thought would be.  His will reigns and rules now.  My thoughts yet are not replaced by His thoughts, though.  Not nearly enough but are a bit.  And that bit of His Mind replacing whatever of my thoughts, is a blessing!

Thus, my mind can recall previous times of despair when some physical ailment would fell me to the mattress.  I would begin to fret over how I would get more done here, how I would exist, how I would progress or even be able to leave if necessary.  But now, the thoughts view those old ways of thinking, yet my thoughts do not traverse those frets.

I simply wait in the silence of solitude, of suffering.

There is news of the family member cycling solo in Europe.  Much rain had him soaked as he biked through French countryside.  He ended up needing to stop for the night but had difficulty finding lodging.  Finally a tourist office employee who happened to be open (France observes four-day work week fairly seriously) made many phone calls to locate a Bed-and-Breakfast in a nearby village.  It is aptly called:  The Pilgrim.

Many prayers are being offered for the bicycling pilgrim from various others as well as this debilitated, consecrated, Catholic hermit.

A friend from a couple thousand miles away called this morning and reported on her now full-time health care of husband in ill health.  Finances are tough for them--extremely so.  She is trying to get mortgage remodification and debt consolidation and is swamped with necessary paperwork.  She also has researched various online forums for alternative, simple treatments that might help her husband's lung problems, immune system, and overall well-being.

As for my severe muscle or rib pain issues, currently, she thought surely I should go to the doctor.  Well, there is no way I could possibly suffer through getting dressed, into the truck, and drive anywhere at this point.  And there is really no need.  By and by, the pain will lesson, whatever is aggravated will simmer down and heal.

She suggested perhaps there is some linkage of this physical derailment and the strange events of last week's bi-location and ensuing discovery that the family member is on this--what I will now term--pilgrimage of seeking to find whatever is there to be found.  Yes, I'd considered there might be a connection, that somehow the Lord has allowed the rather bizarre flare up somewhere between pitchforking a bit of light-weight mulch into a wheelbarrow and dumping and spreading the mulch over a small area of landscape fabric, between fence and some soft Boxwood shrubs.

Whatever, I am laid out on this cross now, and will climb down from it briefly to change the soaker hoses if the pain level allows.  Otherwise, I will turn off the spigots and return to the cross of physically limiting pain, the mattress that so much of my life is lived out upon, and will praise God for yet another phone call from someone making some important decisions on major purchases for home as well as the email message from a spiritual friend reporting some crucially disappointing news but also asserting her courage in going forth with what will be painful medical procedures.

God provides!  He gives us answers always.  His will be done, not ours.  And I am certain that He also will replace this hermit's mind with His Mind, bit by bit, for I have need of His Wisdom and Thoughts, His Ideas and Insights.  Mine are sluggish, uncooperative with His will, blurred and foggy in vision compared to His View.

The Living Word has been uplifting, as usual.  The other day Jesus spoke about by whose authority, for he was asked that, accused, really, by those who felt He did not have the authority to be saying what He spoke.  It is all very good and reminds me of some temporal aspects in which some might get caught up in similar criticism, questioning if this or that one has authority for this or that.  It is all rather silly, and Jesus makes it quite clear, the issue of authority and Whose authority authorizes.

We really do not need to get too worked up over much of much.  Other than...

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Let us love God above all things and one another as Jesus loves us!