Christian Catholic Hermit Mystic: The Woman Caught in Adultery

JPII in this commentary hits nail on head as to humankind's sins and the males tending to try to get away with their culpability while the women bear much openly, in various types of sins, not only the sexual ones.  Men are far more forceful and have greater voice in blaming, I suppose.  

They tend to have the public mouthpiece more than women do, although some of that is slightly changing...when the point is that God KNOWS the sins of all of us, and we really don't need to be pointing out others' sins unless to the person him- or herself in private, if someone we know who will benefit by the clarification.  This is true for parents in particular who have charge of their children, or teachers, or others such as in families and workplaces--to let others know quietly if they are sinning, if they themselves do not realize it, or even if they do if by some chance one can help them stop. 

This is done often at a price of friendship, though, to those who have much pride in them and cannot cope with fraternal correction or to have their sins pointed out even if the one pointing out acknowledges his or her own sins openly, with the person to try to help the person understand none of us is perfect, but their sin is showing and could be corrected by them if they knew or chose or even to get help in stopping the sin from continuing.

Lord, keep my sins ever before me, and help me to cease the sins that I am aware of and to recognize or have good people inform me of the sins of which I am unaware.  Thank you, Jesus.

Saint John-Paul II

Pope from 1978 to 2005

Mulieris dignitatem, ch.5 (©Libreria editrice Vaticana)

"Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."

Christ is the one who "knows what is in man" (cf. Jn 2,25) - in man and woman. He knows the dignity of man, his worth in God's eyes. He himself, the Christ, is the definitive confirmation of this worth. Everything he says and does is definitively fulfilled in the Paschal Mystery of the Redemption. Jesus' attitude to the women whom he meets in the course of his Messianic service reflects the eternal plan of God, who, in creating each one of them, chooses her and loves her in Christ (cf. Eph 1,1-5)… Jesus of Nazareth confirms this dignity, recalls it, renews it, and makes it a part of the Gospel and of the Redemption for which he is sent into the world... Jesus enters into the concrete and historical situation of women, a situation which is weighed down by the inheritance of sin. One of the ways in which this inheritance is expressed is habitual discrimination against women in favour of men. This inheritance is rooted within women too. From this point of view the episode of the woman "caught in adultery" is particularly eloquent. In the end Jesus says to her: "Do not sin again", but first he evokes an awareness of sin in the men who accuse… Jesus seems to say to the accusers: Is not this woman, for all her sin, above all a confirmation of your own transgressions, of your "male" injustice, your misdeeds? This truth is valid for the whole human race…A woman is left alone, exposed to public opinion with "her sin", while behind "her" sin there lurks a man - a sinner, guilty "of the other's sin", indeed equally responsible for it. And yet his sin escapes notice, it is passed over in silence… How often, in a similar way, the woman pays for her own sin and she pays all alone! How often is she abandoned with her pregnancy, when the man, the child's father, is unwilling to accept responsibility for it? And besides the many "unwed mothers" in our society, we also must consider all those who, as a result of various pressures, even on the part of the guilty man, very often "get rid of" the child before it is born. "They get rid of it": but at what price?

Hold the Torch or Merely Bear It?

I have pondered today, also, various visions and forewarning events of the past, prior to my conversion to Catholicism.  I suppose one must examine all in context and time frame, over the years as the body, mind, heart and soul progress in this journey to His Real Presence, knowing that one is through, with and in Him all along.

It helps, also, to reflect upon what trusted and decent others have said, here and there.  All these aspects do shed light upon the path and help us discern God's will and the way we are to trod. 

One dear minister of advanced years, told me later that he always considered me a prophetess.  That stunned me, as I had not considered that role or assignment, per se.  I suppose it is in part an aspect, though, of the Christian life; some must hold the torch upon the truth and allow its full reflection to be seen by others, even if the consequences may mean a metaphoric or in some way an actualized, toss into the cistern.  Or, sometimes one is called upon to bear the truth and be the immolation in whatever way is most difficult and painful.

Another minister, younger and of whom I saw raw, partially gesticulated fish vomiting from his mouth as he read Scripture in the worship service one Sunday morning, did not appreciate my giving him a message, a few days later.  I was shown and told this, and I shed light on it:  You are an adulterer.

Now, this man was married and quite faithful in his marital vows as far as sexual fidelity.  But the Lord told me it just as He showed me:  an adulterer.  Knowing the man's faithfulness in the typical sense, I researched the word adulterer, of which adulterate clarified the message. 

Yes, it took guts to tell this minister and to explain why the word came to me, and when, and how, and from whom.  I tried to speak gently, kindly, and owned that this can befall any of us.  But the fact was, the Lord had shown me and told me, that this minister, a man of the cloth, had been adulterating his position.  He was making the words he read from the Scriptures, impure, tainted and altered due to the very way he so poorly treated his elderly secretary and a few others, when he thought no one would notice.  

He was delivering inferior goods of his spiritual learning and leadership, adulterating the Gospel message, and not being faithful to Whom he represented as leader of this particular congregation, this church.  I simply asked him to please consider what I was told, and to try to treat those he mistreated, with charity and justice.  Then, also, I likely would not be shown the masticated, raw fish spewing from his mouth on Sunday morning when he read Scriptures to us.

I assured him that whenever I am shown something of any need for improvement in others, I likewise see it as a reminder for my own life.  I gave him some examples.  I wanted him to grasp that I am with him in desiring what the Lord would like in change for the better, in me, and in him who represented Christianity as a pastor in that particular church.

After my conversion to Catholicism, there were more encounters, but I wanted to fit in better and did not desire controversy.  However, there were several instances of being given a torch that essentially shed light on some issues that were too negative to let pass.  Sometimes I would try to bear the wrong for the other person or persons.  I would pray and suffer.  

But often enough, the situation was dire enough that required my holding the torch up close for the person to see for him- or herself, the flaw, the wrong, the offense against our calling as Christians:  our offense against His Real Presence.  Most often, our offenses against His Real Presence are meted out through offending others or being offensive in our selves.

A friend once wrote, after feeling terrible for the suffering I'd endure as a result of what I was shown, holding the torch or to bear it, and she said, "Stop reading priests' souls!"  Then, shortly after, she wrote again and said, "I'm sorry.  I realize you aren't doing it but rather God is showing you what you'd probably rather not have to see and that the rest of us miss."

It is a terrible suffering to be given a torch to hold, to shed light on what one is shown that is not what we or others wish to have revealed.  It is also a terrible suffering to bear the torch, to carry it in silence but all the same see what could so easily be improved or altered for the good of all souls.  And it is yet another suffering to be placed in a position where one must speak to the person or persons involved, to hold the torch closer and show them, to share with them the knowledge of what they wanted to be kept in the dark.  And then one must offer ideas as to how to change the situation, to correct, and then also to encourage and uplift the person that with God, all things are possible.

Sometimes people do not want to improve.  Those people often react negatively and want the person holding the torch or even bearing it, to be out of sight and out of mind.  Run the person out, toss him down the cistern, sell him off as a slave, discredit, imprison, decapitate.  All these responses do happen in one way or another even if not literally.

Bruno seemed to have grown weary of battling the bishop who was bothered by his teaching abilities and success in 11th century Cologne, Germany.  He had six companions, two or three of them also priests, who left for the farthest reaches of the Alps so they could worship and adore His Real Presence far from the temporal Catholic world and those such as bishops--far, far away from the adulteration that can creep into even the most lofty person, at least to the eyes of the unwitting public.

Bruno did not make his escape right away after he and his friends made a pact to do it.  They waited for the right timing, and off they went, not quite knowing where in particular and even thinking perhaps they might join in with some Benedictine monks with whom they wintered over.  But come spring, they set off, walking into the French Alps, finding a most remote area in which to begin their lives in truth, beauty, goodness and freedom from temporal spiritual oppression.  (Bruno did not set out to create the Carthusian order.  He lived it; one of his companions developed it into an order after Bruno's death.)

The mystical spiritual oppression is yet another battle and one that cannot be escaped by moving from place to place.  That has to be discerned and faced, the torch held up close to it.  It must be exposed and borne, both.  Hold the torch and bear it.

Regardless, my thoughts return to asking His Real Presence if my task is to keep writing of the process, and to hold the torch as well as to bear it when shedding the light is not effective in itself.  Am I to write of what I see and experience, even though shameful in ways, or at least ought to be shaming?  Ought I remain in this hovel, in the farthest reaches from most humanity and hidden away from the eyes of men, and yet hold the torch to what is shown me either through visions or temporal encounters?

As one of my longest-time friends said when I was considering if God wanted me to move from the terrorizing neighbors, "You can pray for them from a distance.  You don't need to live right next door to them any longer and be abused and threatened."  I wonder if that is advice, likewise, for the more local parish, or for any parish?  I certainly do suffer and grieve about the situations that I am shown and of which my simple, silent presence seems to be a torch in itself, igniting and then exposing icy, fearful, and judgmental reactions.  And a whole lot more.

Yes, for now I will be the immolation in this hovel cistern hermitage, and I will pray and pray for neighbors far away and close, and for thy neighbor as thyself in church parishes and church congregations the world over.  I will suffer much for all that is torched of my own soul, too.  And that is probably the most painful to bear.

Another Mass, Another Report

I noticed a woman walking along the road again, today, on the way to daily Mass.  I asked if she'd like a ride since I recognized her from being at Mass yesterday (one of perhaps eight of us).  She gladly accepted.

Turns out she is visiting a friend in the area, and hearing of the atrocities against children in Iraq caused her to locate the nearest parish for daily Mass.  She is a lovely woman and Catholic; we immediately hit it off.

I admit to being sorry to hear she is leaving the area tomorrow to begin her return to her home state and city.  Seems to be how His Real Presence has it--always giving me a touch of consolation but keeping it brief.

After Mass, I offered her a ride back to wherever she was staying.  We talked more, and she asked some about the parish, noting that the Mass was astounding lesser attended and extremely brief.  I made the comment that the priest is not a well man.  "Physically, you mean?" she asked.  "No, within.  He is not plugged into his priestly vocation with both prongs in the socket."

She admitted that after she remained awhile yesterday, she commented to those around her that she'd never been to such a short Mass.   The others said, "It is the priest.  This is how he wants it."  (They neglected to mention they ran out via many complaints to the bishop and the unspoken threat of withholding donations, an African priest awhile back because they did not like his wanting more adoration time, although it may have also been due to difficulty understanding his accent.  In fairness, it likely was not the handful of daily Mass attendees who were opposed to the more spiritually desirous priest.)

Then she turned to me and said, "But you must never say anything negative aloud or otherwise, even in thought, about any priest.  It is a SIN."  I thanked her and said I needed this reminder.  I did mention that at times it may be necessary to warn others of serious situations.  She agreed.  I suppose the determining factor is what is considered serious and not so serious.

Continuing the rather lengthy (and gas-costly) drive to my hermitage, I pondered what the woman said and realized it is not Scriptural--not the part about saying or thinking negative about priests, even if fact or for the safety of others.  I consider both physical safety as well as spiritual safety.

However, what is in Scripture is to not think or say negative about anyone, not just priests.  For that, I have done wrong and need to clean up my inner and outer thoughts and words.  I have had negative thoughts and words even after addressing the situation to others or trying to fraternally correct.  And I have not taken two others with me, to try again to explain to various persons, the wrongs.  In the past, I have done so but now not for a long time.  It is not usually easy to get someone or two others to come with and fraternally confront and correct another.  Most don't want to get involved or risk being on that person's "bad side."

These thoughts now allude to the Scripture in which we are told if one has done wrong against us, we are to address it to the person hoping for change.  If he or she does not apologize or correct the wrong, then we are to go to a couple others and explain, and take them with us to confront and hopefully correct the one who did wrong.  If that does not produce positive results, we are to go to the Church leaders who will then (hopefully) intervene.

Obviously, if we need to go to others after speaking to the person directly first, we necessarily have to explain to those others what the person did or said that was not right (according to our perspective which hopefully is morally and spiritually sound and just).  What we think and say, then, are negatives about the person.

We now enter into the discussion once more of detraction of others.  It is not a black-or-white area of moral right or wrong.  Each situation has to be considered, with all the facts laid out reasonably.  What is wrong, I suppose, is to keep repeating another person's wrongs or the negatives behind the person's back or publicly (slander and libel as well as detraction), without following the charitable steps toward correction and justice that Jesus in Scripture advises.

I return to the thoughts of how St. John the Apostle greeted people routinely with:  Little children, let us love one another [for love is of God].  I think this might serve me best, to repeat within myself and if necessary at some point, speak or write to others.  I don't need to be thinking, writing, or speaking that a priest is unwell or has issues.  Obviously, the visiting woman realized that or she would not have asked about him or commented on the brief and altered Mass.

The sin (it seems) is in not loving others and speaking ill of anyone unless necessary for a known, higher good, in truth and love, and for the sake of souls--our own and theirs.  Where would we be had Jesus (or His apostles) not spoken negative truths about various situations of high priests, scribes, the early church communities, and people doing wrongs?  I suspect the key in this is the word "truths."  And, the purpose is key.  If the purpose is for correction and uplift, that seems far different than if the purpose is not for any desire for improvement, and if we think we ourselves are beyond reproach, too.

Mea culpa!  But if we remain silent on matters of wrongs committed, even if they are priests, we risk not only others souls but also that of the priest.  We bring down all in the Body of Christ if we dare not follow the way of fraternal correction, and of truth.  Love requires truth.

The woman and I agreed to pray all the more for the priest to have a deeper conversion of heart.  But you see, even that suggests we see or think or recognize something is not for the best.

These matters are never simple, are they?  But I do appreciate the reminder, and I must consider more and more:  Little children, love one another.