Christian Mystic: Thoughts on Mystic Portal

 I found this poem I'd written [below], thoughts that came to me in 2009.  I'd totally forgotten consciously of this time period and the poem, but it was a  point in life in which it seemed God was asking me to pass through the mystic portal.  Yet, logically, to me then, it did not make sense that God would not have a place for me more in the temporal Catholic world.  

So I went forth in life, still wanting and seeking my "place" in that world of parishes and dioceses and parishioners despite a mystical ecstasy during Mass, every Mass, any Mass that caused issues with some priests and parishioners.  They simply have little understanding, nor do they have lived experience of someone who happens to have mystical graces, of more so when a mystical grace becomes visible.

Now on the vigil eve of Pentecost, 2020, when I know without doubt now that the Lord intends for me to cooperate fully, of which He gives me full will.  I have been in a type of preparation the past 9 days, since Ascension Thursday--being prepared to pass through the mystic portal.  

I have no idea what will transpire tomorrow with the Holy Spirit. But I am going to pass through and be and do whatever God wills of me in the silence of solitude, prayer, and writing.  I promise God to live for Him in life daily, with desire of union in God, to be gratefully, humbly aware of God's real presence in whatever transformative ways.


I am living the temporal humanity of Christ.
I bear His temporal pain and breathe His soul's suffering.
Yet only when the human is subsumed
in His mystical Divinity 
is there one Joy, one Love, the one Reality: God-Man.

Only then do the two worlds--temporal and mystical-- 
become one reality, the Divine Reality. 
The temporal is a shadow of the full humanity of Christ   
if without union in the mystical reality of His Divinity.

The temporal Catholic world is a holding cell 
for passage through the mystic portal, 
to become the full humanity of Christ in His Divinity, 
to be fully one in the One in the one true reality.

(I hope I am stating it meaningfully, accurately; 
words are incompetent secretaries to insights.)

It is something like this, 
and I must get through the mystic portal 
with His physical and soul suffering, 
in order to be in the true reality: 
one reality of oneness in God.

Do you see that the Sacraments, all of them, 
but most frequently Eucharist in Mass 
and Reconciliation in Confession,  
are portal passage points 
for the temporal to enter into the mystical, 
and that without the One in reality of the mystical,
in these sacraments, there would be false reality?  

Jesus in His full humanity 
is the Divine ever-flowing into within the temporal.  
He is not the temporal occasionally touching the mystical. 
 
When we pain-bearing soul-suffering humans pass 
through the mystic portal to be subsumed in His Divinity, 
we awash the temporal in and by His living waters.  
We then may fully live His humanity mystically Divine 
as we are become one with the One Reality.