Today I've been particularly fatigued, but I kept with striving in a modified but more structured horarium than in quite awhile. The disruption of horarium can be due to several factors--circumstance in which one does not have open time format when other requisite duties or financial need impinges on a hermit's life, or when there is a health change, such as my own spine difficulties of which I increasingly was worn down by pain and then had the major surgery of which I am still very much recovering.
Yet today I maintained praying the Liturgy of the Hours, and made my body sit at tall table on tall, wooden chair in attempt to focus plus build up, perhaps, some stamina involved in the pain of sitting. But other portions of the day I remained in bed--too much pain and fatigue to even go for a walk as I'd hoped in God would have energy to do.
I did read a bit further in the book that was sent me a few days ago, but the depth of focus required of my mind for this outstanding book regarding aspects of John of the Cross, has me reading but a couple or three pages at a time. That is all right! There is no rush! Silence, solitude, slowness....
So I decided to review and update myself on the vast array of hermits--consecrated Catholic hermits either privately or publicly professed, those who have not professed the three evangelical counsels yet are living the hermit life as best they can mostly without a spiritual director, and various other hermits, Christian and of other religions.
This occasional exercise of researching the variety of hermits that I am able to locate on the internet, living and dead, is helpful in my observations and prayerful seeking of whatever improvements or changes that the Lord may be asking of me, desiring of me, but of which I have not been open to exploring or understanding.
There are several publicly professed Catholic hermits newer on the eremitic landscape, and of these, several tend to be more active in their dioceses or are engaged in developing a possibility of others joining them, if they have not already created a type of quasi-religious order of hermits. Or, there are those who are working in their dioceses--in parish or providing retreat centers of sorts. Then there are those who remain more hidden, but have taken religious names and wear habits that resemble those that religious nuns and monks wear.
Of the privately professed Catholic hermits, there are not many to discover, as they tend not to be interviewed by diocese newspapers, of course, or publicized much if at all. That is, of the living privately professed hermits; I found privately professed, consecrated Catholic hermits written about in articles and a few in documentary format, who have passed on. Of these, I am reminded why their hiddenness appeals to me.
Then there are those who are exploring hermit life, as well as many hermits of other religions. Of these, the hermits of other religions are beneficial in widening our perceptions yet also in being able to compare and contrast their hermit lives compared to such as mine--privately professed, consecrated Catholic hermit.
I also appreciate reading what other hermits write, if they happen to be blog-writers. There are few of us Catholic hermits who write consistently. One publicly professed Catholic hermit tends to simply post brief synopses of a saint's life, daily, or some inspirational quote by a renowned Catholic poet or prose writer. It does keep the posts short and to the point; I tend to already be familiar with most of the saints I noticed as being featured, but also in my daily Scripture reading, one of the inclusions with the daily mass readings are saints of the day.
However, in a trailer for a short documentary on a hermit (many of the hermits I discover and appreciate benefitting from their lives are in other countries), offered a comment of which I know I have much need for improvement. And I know I need improvement in many more aspects but the hermit only mentioned this one, that matches with what I would like to learn to curtail. He (privately professed Catholic hermit of over 30 years or more, not sure if still living but was at least up to recently) pointed out that there can be a temptation to be what he called "garrulous."
This particular hermit explained that some are garrulous--more talkative than silent; he even suggested he had the temptation to be garrulous. But from what I saw of the documentary trailer, he seemed quite subdued, self-controlled, and not at all garrulous. He seemed a fine example and an inspiration of calm and receptive, a contemplative and listener.
I could go on in the vast array of hermits I discovered in a brief time spent reviewing, but I will leave off with the understanding that there are as many types of hermits as there are individual persons who are called and then choose to accept God's call to hermit vocation. A reconnoitering exercise such as I did for a short time spent this afternoon, did not reach into all those hermits who remain unknown and hidden--don't even anonymously write blog posts, perhaps do not use a computer, which is not easy to do in our time period with banking and various aspects of responsibilities dealt with online now. However, one could use a library computer once a week or so, but then the hermit would need to leave the hermitage.
I suppose the needed discipline is to have restraint and not let the computer in the hermitage become a distraction or tempt the hermit to then omit spiritual reading and silent meditation and contemplation. While I have been reading Scripture by using my computer read rather than getting my hardbound Bible out (I do need to recline for most all prayer, contemplation, reading as sitting for longer than the Divine Office prayer at different times of day results in too much spinal pain for me.) However, I'm going to consider not using this laptop for the other reading I am starting to re-introduce into my daily life; perhaps better to not get in the habit of using the laptop for so much as it can lead to other searches or become a distraction that a hardbound book will not be.
In "visiting" a vast array of other hermits this afternoon, I found much good, and I have been blessed by the silent encounters. Also, I strive to visit to learn, to compare, contrast, to gain ideas and inspirations as to how my hermit life might be improved and better utilized and offered; I practice not judging or criticizing others' hermit lives. For one thing, I have certainly been a work-in-progress per my desire to ultimately live a hermit ideal, to progress in whatever aspects of this vocation the Lord desires of me, and to strive more for a "purist" aspect of living the hermit life. And this aspect is rather subjective in a way, but it is more what I have read and continue to read of the holy and saintly hermits of the past who have "shone" well over the years and centuries--like "stars in the universe", these hermits.
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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