Met and shared, discussed, prayed, with new spiritual director, a hermit-priest, a couple days ago.
My late, dearest spiritual da, a priest of over 72 years in holy orders, passed over ten months ago. However, the new spiritual father, the hermit-priest, also felt the spiritual da's presence and blessing upon our new relationship and venture into wherever and whatever His Real Presence guides and leads.
I've never been around anyone as deeply, genuinely, joyful as this hermit-priest. The Holy Spirit arranged all this--from the instantaneous response of the parish priest three or so weeks ago, saying he immediately had a spiritual director in mind for me, when I broached the subject and asked.
The new spiritual father and I discussed many things. It was a meeting of not only minds but of spirits, and as temporal time will tell, of souls. My, I'd love to be given that grace of spiritual joy that emanates from this hermit-priest! But I have refocusing to do, and some effort in disentangling from temporal distractions.
I did ask about my being a consecrated Catholic hermit, privately professed. Went over the process of discernment 21 years ago, the formation by my late spiritual da as well as 11 months as proficient and novice with a now-defunct community of hermits (each in our own locale, but undergoing united formation as guided by a hermit who was overseen by a diocese vicar general and with advice from a Carthusian at Parkminster.
That briefly explained, I spoke of my profession of the three evangelical counsels and of the forming of additional vows, and the private ceremony at the altar in the convent chapel. The ceremony, the service, was fashioned after one described in The Ancrene Riwle but modified, updated, and for a twenty-first century Catholic hermit, in keeping with what the Church today asks of her hermits [See §920, 921 in The Catechism of the Catholic Church.]
My specific question of the hermit-priest, the new spiritual director, was to clarify if he determined I should speak with the diocese bishop or needed to consider the 1983 CL603 for hermits who desire to be a diocesan hermit, of which the bishop receives the profession of the evangelical counsels and if desired, an additional personally written vow. (I had asked this question of my parish priest a week ago, and have written his response in a previous blog post--which was essentially no, do not do that, it would hinder and complicate; his term was "shackle". But that was his sense or take, and call the hermit-priest whose phone number I was given.)
The hermit-priest, after listening to what had been my privately professed counsels and vow, over 19 years ago, and the discernment and formation beginning nearly 21 years ago, surprised me with what he said. Why would I want to interfere with how the Lord had blessed and was my vocation thus far--and repeated that he sees much movement now, and all being opened up for me. He said "For you the CL603 and canonical approval would be baggage. Drop the thought of that; it is heavy baggage." Continue on.
We also discussed the historical and traditional path of hermits over the centuries. He laughed with that spiritual joy, when we spoke of the centuries of hermit saints who were never approved by other than God Himself, but quietly lived their hidden lives in silence of solitude, praise of God and praying for souls and salvation of the world. And he laughed again with the truth stated as to many of them canonized saints: "One can't do much better than that!"
I mentioned that I'd spent some time the day prior, as I do on occasion, perusing and reading about various hermits out there--Catholic privately professed and publicly professed, not professed, and hermits of other religions living and deceased. He wondered why, and suggested not necessary--but I said I want to be, of course, right with the Church in whatever ways, and I am inspired by some I read about and also learn what I'd like to avoid in others. Of the living hermits, we are all in process.
I mentioned yet another CL 603 hermit who I discovered (one with post-graduate degree but retired, divorced, a parent and grandparent of adult child and grandchildren, living a life hidden and prayerful). Inspiring to me. And there is the marvelous CL603 hermit in UK who had to relocate to be near medical facilities and downscale to an apartment, no longer rural but living her vocation admirably, all the same. (No update, but she had been in the process to see if the bishop of her new diocese would accept her CL603 status.)
I then mentioned that in my desire to be right with whatever the Church wishes, that I also had experienced over 11 years of a CL603 hermit who has seemed irked by my being a consecrated Catholic hermit, privately professed, and has yet again recently written on blog post (as has been done off and on for several years) that I am a fraud, and now a new designation as "counterfeit hermit." Yes, I want to be right with the Church, although I'd think the Church would state in the institutes and other writings, if only now publicly professed hermits are to be, and not state it as stated, and has been of her hermits for centuries.
Of this sharing of this situation, the hermit-priest said, "This is negative. This something you must stay away from, drop it. The devil is involved; it's a distraction. God is always greater than the devil." He noted with me that God will bring those He wills to read what I write, regardless. And again, emphasized that God has power over the devil.
(To be clear, no names nor locale was mentioned regarding the person, and no one insinuating that the CL603 hermit was the devil; by no means--but that the devil is involved in that situation, and for me to never look back to it. Stay clear. Move forward. God is guiding, leading, and much positive movement, opening up, for me. We had also discussed a CL603 hermit he knows, who has striven in the vocation but with a different desire, that of having others join; and while that diocese hermit's wish and dream has not transpired and will not due to advanced years, that is not for me, either.)
There was no judgment yay or nay regarding CL603 hermits in general. In fact, perhaps in another century or two, the Church will have decided by then that all hermits must be diocese hermits, with the profession of the three evangelical counsels publicly professed into the hands of a diocese bishop. It does not mean CL603 is wrong or not advised for all those discerning hermit vocation; but it is not necessary unless the Lord desires and wills for the individual person, and perhaps for that person's needs and betterment, or by a holy need of a bishop and diocese.
The new spiritual director then shared with me his own process, which surprised him as he thought his bishop would have wanted or required more formal procedure in his becoming a hermit. Rather, it was informal and simply a blessing, there and then--no more vows, no liturgy, no prayer. A simple blessing by the Bishop, sign of the cross--the bishop and priest only; done. More joyful laughter from the new spiritual father, as he again said the canonical is baggage for you. Why pick up baggage? "You have had your hermit vocation blessed by a priest years ago."
[And I want to add here, also, that not every priest would or should bless a hermit's vocation. The eremitic life is one that needs to be discerned over time, a practice time period of the life entered into, even as I have done, a testing of the Spirit if uncertain. I did share this with the hermit-priest, of my then bishop and spiritual director for a time, about a decade ago, eager to canonically approve me, but as with me, wanting something small, discreet, private in nature. However, he got so involved and busy with his retirement fetes and activities, that he apologized that he did not have the time to do it! The hermit-priest and I laughed at the irony, in many ways; and I said that a sense of relief came over me, and I felt literally "spared."]
[The other time I had faced that dilemma of CL603, was when in the community of hermits, and the prioress saying it was time to approach my diocese; instead I discovered that she did not even have the statutes developed, and in the meantime I was shown that this prioress did not have herself on good footing; I removed myself due to the pride coming the surface and the lack of her "having the ducks in order." In my speaking with her Vicar General, he, too, said it was a tenuous situation. Indeed, two years later I learned that she'd gone off the deep end, and what could have been a well-developed community of hermits and a good concept, was ended by her diocese, now two decades ago. ]
Well, enough on that. I have made myself clear. My spiritual da of 24 years (other than the year of the late bishop!], and this new hermit-priest spiritual director, and my confessor on top of past confessors, also have made themselves clear. In His alter Christus', the Lord has made Himself clear, as He has with me in several locutions and a couple visions: I am a consecrated Catholic hermit as of the privately professed, traditional, historical hermits. I am to not question nor be distracted by, nor entertain adding on or taking a sideways step of what is unnecessary for me, and not for my eremitic vocation in my life, or the life of the Church.
And what I have written, in the time spent with the new spiritual director, the hermit-priest, was actually quite brief. Just seems that in my finale on the topic, it is as well to express fully, in completion, what is otherwise, stated and told for me: shackles and baggage. As to the person whose soul I do love and of course pray for, my pain will continue to pray 24/7 across the stratosphere, but I fare thee well and bid thee adieu. Have been directed by confessor and now the new spiritual father, the hermit-priest, to stay clear, remove myself from the negative, let God deal with that person and situation.
What the hermit-priest discussed more and mostly, is the Divine Will, the Divine Presence, the Eucharist, the Mass, his purpose and mission in praying for priests, his meditations in Scripture and in also reading and pondering a book he told me about. Written not long ago by an extant but anonymous Benedictine priest (somewhere in the United States), published in 2007, In Sinu Jesu, reflects the messages from Jesus and the Virgin Mary to this priest/monk during his time praying before the Tabernacle. Now shared with anyone in the world who desires to read the book (available on Amazon and other sites), given an imprimatur, just this morning the new spiritual father sent me a text of a selection quoted from In Sinu Jesus, along with a portion of Psalm 44.
Yes, my new spiritual father is focusing me on what matters, and where I am to progress from where I've been. He's been definite on what to turn away from; and the Lord certainly gave me added choices to make, one small and one large, in the past few days. I am asked to make choices, to discern and decide upon one path over another, one by one as they can enter into our daily lives be we hermits, priests, lay persons in married or single vocations, adults or children.
My text to the spiritual father seemed so banal and temporal, yes, compared to the focusing he was doing. Praying the Office of Reading this morning while struggling to manage an excruciating spinal headache, I realized my path of suffering and accepting pain--not complaining, mind you--is the correct choice in that regard. Peace returned after the research the other day which I somehow felt I owed in making the choice and to share with Dr. H. that my path is the Lord Jesus Christ, that I will find Him in my pain, and that pain is not the enemy.
Rather, I look forward to the gift of joy and of on-going peace within, and of (as I mentioned to the hermit-priest the other day) my desire to come to union with God, and if He wills in my life time, to help others desire, be inspired, and come to union with God as well. I also desire to strive in the eremitic vocation to the hermit ideal, to a purity of hermit life--even though I have wandered and waffled about. Yet the Lord always brings me back, strips me, hones me, cuts the chaff from the grain in temporal matters, relationships, choices, and now even in return to lectio divina and whatever writing.
As to the parting direction from the Spiritual Father, the hermit-priest, he said to remain fully open to, and to surrender fully to the Divine Will, for he senses much movement and great opening up for me, in what and how the Lord is leading me. He said yes, he senses very much the writing is important for me to continue, and that it can be something beneficial even more so after my death.
(Whether that will be the case, I'm sure will depend on my docility and surrender to His Real Presence and in what I write--inspired by the Trinity or drivel of waffling in the temporal. However, the hermit-priest said that writing honestly, including my pitfalls and flaws, and then the process of the Lord picking me up and my continuing on, no matter how many falls, is good to share. My sense of it, though, from praying on it and noticing other signals God presents in temporal ways, is that a deep stilling of my mind, heart, and soul is needed. Stay clear of distractions, the negative immediately and alway, the ones that I've gotten into habit of that help me distract from pain--wean from those as soon and feasibly can.)
Then, the finale of my meeting with the new spiritual director, the hermit-priest. He emphasized to receive the peace that Christ has for me. Yes! Then came most beautiful, spiritual, joy-filled prayer uttered forth from the uplifting hermit-priest, so blessed and glorious in praise and thanksgiving! God provides beyond what we mortals can possibly anticipate!
This morning's Psalm reading at Mass, from Psalm 56, contains Living Word that supports and sustains, sums the present moment in my nothingness to Christ's ALL. The Lord does speak to us in Scripture!
"My wanderings You have counted;
my tears are stored in Your flask;
are they not recorded in Your book?
Then do my enemies turn back,
[my distractions, vices, negatives, evil]
when I call upon You.
Now I know that God is with me.
In God, in Whose promise I glory,
in God I trust without fear;
what can flesh do against me?
I am bound, O God, by vows to You;
Your thank offerings I will fulfill.
For You have rescued me from death,
my feet, too, from stumbling;
that I may walk before God
in the light of the living."
God bless His Real Presence in us! Thank You, Lord, for all the blessings and goodness given to all of us, and especially my gratitude for the direction and guidance from the hermit-priest spiritual director you've provided. Thank you, dearest spiritual Da, who blessed me and the hermit-priest as we sensed your presence with us, blessing us, even though we could not see you standing by us. The hermit-priest and I each felt you standing between and slightly behind us--to his left and to my right-- blessing this alliance from your place in glory.
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