As the prayer concerns flow in, from whom God brings and wills, this Scripture from the First Reading of Holy Mass the other day, covers in particular, some of the persons for whom I pray and praise God.
Brothers and sisters:
Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly,
and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.
each must do as already determined, without sadness or compulsion,
for God loves a cheerful giver.
Moreover, God is able to make every grace abundant for you,
so that in all things, always having all you need,
you may have an abundance for every good work.
As it is written:
"He scatters abroad, he gives to the poor;
his righteousness endures forever."
The one who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food
will supply and multiply your seed
and increase the harvest of your righteousness.
~ 2 Cor 9:6-10
I especially consider the words, the meaning of the truths:
"each must do as already determined, without sadness or compulsion,
for God loves a cheerful giver."
This is so difficult for some--to do for another without sadness or compulsion but to give and do out of love--even if it must be unconditional love when one has fallen out of love or has not forgiven someone.
This past week, I've prayed for two spouses who have given unconditionally to their ailing spouses. I've also prayed for spouses who've had some love issues. There has been personality differences for a long time, I realized, but until recently did not know the extent of the loved lost. The one is now ill, and the other does out of compulsion the necessities, including hiring people to contend with the spouse. Granted, it is obviously too much for the one spouse.
Who knows what all has unfolded over the years, or what illness of sorts comes to fill in where love once was, of which one who thinks the self quite healthy and justified, does not even recognize that the self may have developed a type of illness, as well. It can be a personality trait turned into a disorder, or a distaste for the other person so that there is no cheer left.
Then there are those who tend an ailing spouse to such a high degree of desire to lovingly serve, to spend whatever time even if the spouse does not recognize, no matter the trials that have occurred in the marriage over the years. There is a joy in the giving, and whatever compulsion there is, it is that of not wanting to leave the spouse's side, but to advocate for the spouse in whatever needs are present.
One of the saintly spouse's loved one passed nearly five months ago. The other saintly spouse is quite elderly yet spends hours at the hospice ward bedside of her ailing husband, holding his hand, considering how sweet and vulnerable he is, lying there as he was when he was born into this world. He is being prepared to be born into eternity.
But the spouse who has lost love, although a Christian, does for others but seems stressed to go much further in tolerating the ill spouse being in the same space. Yet out of duty, all is done--the groceries there for the ill spouse to fix breakfast and lunch and eat in medicated stupor, or to go out with the hired aides six of seven days a week.
Still it is increasingly too much for the other spouse. Notice is being taken of any odd change in the one, to be reported to the doctor with the idea the spouse will be committed to a hospital. Thus far, the doctor has only said to increase the medication. Another reporting of odd behavior will be made this week.
I simply pray for God's will, for there is no way to know for sure, other than the aides and the case manager thus far are probably seeing into the couple's situation and dynamics. God will know what is best for both persons in this instance or in any instance.
The other prayer I offer in this situation, is to encourage the one whose love is lost and probably has been for years--love lost for the spouse but not for numerous others who receive bounteous love and acts of kindness. Truly, whatever has gone on has perverted the situation tremendously, enough for disorders to take root and grow in varying types and degrees.
I certainly know for sure one thing about myself: I have no idea if I could live this Scripture with the faith and selflessness that God would desire of me and would provide to me in grace and love. How would I serve if I'd lost love for a person the Lord had determined for me to serve? I do not know other than in situation by situation, in whatever ways the Lord places in my life. Already, I have seen how I have done over my life time. Usually there are phases within the service--ups and downs as to my cheerfulness or not.
But regardless the case studies I present here, if you will, what is ultimately so powerful and delightful of the above Scripture, is stated in these words, this truth:
"Moreover, God is able to make every grace abundant for you,
so that in all things, always having all you need,
you may have an abundance for every good work."
So it is this truth with which I pray for the one spouse who has lost love and is weary of the change in their lives, and I pray for whatever has been unkind in the past, in the spouse who has become ill with depression. There is past history in the marriage. For any person who is a caretaker--of which we all are caretakers of loved ones and strangers, near and far, known and unknown--might find it difficult to love someone who has hurt, or who has not been able to forgive many faults, or who has developed ways of being distant while living together--God provides!
I sent this Scripture selection to the one spouse, for rather than confront the issues going on, perhaps the best I can do is to encourage and remind what the Living Word of God says and provides. God is able to make whatever grace needed, abundant in that caregiving spouse. God will, in all things, always provide what is needed. God will provide so that there will be an abundance for every good work.
I know the one spouse has it somewhere within, although an extremism has developed over time that may preclude, obscure, doing the right thing. There is a deception growing, that the one spouse is at a point that the self can "take no more." Yet any suggestion such as hiring an aide for the seventh day of the week, also, is not acted upon. Doors now have locks so that the ill spouse is not allowed to enter where the caregiver spouse keeps items and does the hobbies enjoyed, and where the caregiver sleeps and bathes.
Nothing can be done by me (or any of us in most cases, really) but to pray. Perhaps the spouse who is the diagnosed one, will have a better life hospitalized. But the other spouse--as a Christian--how long will the caregiving struggle persist? God knows; only God knows. For us, though, time will tell.
Such a delightful scripture is this--when we strive to embrace each word, each line, each thought, as if a holy instruction and delightful goal, especially when the effort to love unconditionally will be the requirement for success. It is easier to do for others when we love them, and even then we can become weary physically and emotionally as we are imperfect humans.
One major point in considering the above Scripture is this reality: Sowing generously or sparingly depends upon the person doing the sowing. Being a Christian is not really meant to be about picking and choosing. It is not that we should shut off the generous sowing when it comes to someone who has hurt our feelings or with whom we have lost love. It might be very hard to sow to such a person, but that is rather the point of the Scripture's challenge and truth?
What happens to a soul who chooses to sow based upon wanting to sow in abundance to only those personally chosen, and to sow sparingly to those with whom one harbors resentment or dislike? Especially, what happens to a Christian soul who is a selective sower? Will all the good deeds in the world make up for unwillingness to at least try to love unconditionally and to forgive over and over for as long as it takes to be open for God to fill us with all that we need to be a non-selective, cheerful giver?
For when love is not there, surely the devil will do all to fill in whatever thoughts we have of ourselves as Christians, as cheerful givers, with a deception of ourselves as doing so when we are instead trying to justify a means to be rid of the opportunity to serve. We then disallow all that grace that God has for us, to make abundant whatever is needed to give of ourselves, for then it is not what we want to do, or what we are used to doing with our days and nights, or for us to chose whom we want to gift.
Instead, the Lord sets before us the provision to let Him choose for us, whom we are to serve. Then it is our choice, if mentally well ourselves, I suppose, or not deceived by the devil, or not chained by lack of ability to forgive wrongs--then it is our choice to accept all the graces God will give to be the cheerful giver--not out of any compulsion other than out of love of God, love of others in God, love of God and others over self.
That, my dear and prayerful readers, is what makes the above Scripture so utterly delightful! And for sure, I'm still in soul school on it, for the type of love and faith the Lord desires of me, is yet for me to desire, learn, practice, receive. Also, I must keep seeing myself as I am, to see my flaws, for the devil is ever so clever at having us believe that we are cheerful givers to all, and justified sometimes, in selecting who we want to serve and who we do not. We can so easily convince ourselves that we can "take no more", or that someone ought to be put away somewhere by picking on any aspect that might be proof enough to someone who has the power to rid us of whom God has put before us to lovingly serve.
What makes Scriptures, such as the selection cited, is what we make of them. How and if and to what degree we cooperate with internalizing and living out His Living Word helps the truths of God delightful and sweet.
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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