Monday, April 22, 2019

Catholic Hermit: Seek What Is Above

Was able to peel the body up from floor bed, distract from pain, and drive to morning Mass.  While not Easter, I must trust the Lord understands my situation.  God created time; He exists beyond time--yesterday, today, tomorrow....

I'm yet fascinated and also clinging to this Second Reading of Easter Mass from 2 Colossians.  I can't seem to absorb enough of the reality that since I am raised with Christ, I ought seek what is above--where His Real Presence reigns:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Think of what is above, not of what is on earth.
For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

While I'm now trying to make myself do some tasks--mindless ones, but yet tasks that help keep the body moving about some and the mind a little distracted from pain--I came across some old photos of the children when young.  They were in a plastic container that my mother had--photos she had saved and were among what she passed on to me 15 years ago or more.  I'm cleaning plastic bins and containers in the tub, and thus the unpacking continues.


I cannot look long or at many photos of the past.  They take my mind back to other times, and today it was to the time after a cruel and surprising leave-taking of my earthly spouse.  The photos, however, show beautiful, happy children in school photos as well as prior, just following the divorce in an Olin Mill's church photo, and a bit later, when we were in more financially improved mode from moving to a less costly area of the country.  And, I must add, we were in a far more healthy, safe, supportive, and positive area among long-time friends and extended family.

My memories, though, tend to bring emotions that are not helpful admixed with severe, physical pain.  The remembrances take me more to the temporal, to life as it was, with my take on those times probably far more positive than what the children, now adults with their own lives and primary relationships, may recall. 

I think such matters vary over time, and with the temporal can come regret, what-if's, and resentment.  I'd add there could also be too roseate or unrealistic recollection; but positive seems better than negative.  Positive memories indicate the grace and presence of forgiveness.

However, the photos were turned over in the pile so as to keep from fading; the washing of the containers progressed with success; I made a conscious effort to turn off the emotion of any tinge of sadness, regret,  and movement toward missing that time period with sweet and precious children.  

Rather, I praised God for having allowed me to be a parent, for providing for us in some aspects, miraculously so, and for where each of these treasures are now, in their lives.  I also again recognized my main purpose with them now that they are reared, is to pray for their souls and the souls of their significant others and off spring.

In this instance, I am seeking for myself and for them, that which is above.

While listening to an interview of a man named Bart Millard, lead singer for the Christian band, Mercy Me, I was impressed with something he'd been told that puts perspective on loss.  This can mean loss of a person who has passed, especially when young, but it also can mean any loss we feel of any past experiences and situations and the people therein.

Someone had told the singer, to remember that our significance with others, the relationship, has far more to do with eternity than with our brief time on earth.  Now, that is seeking that which is above--not remaining affixed to that which is on earth.

Writing thoughts is helpful to me; other than being in Mass in the mystical state, writing of Christ's Words, of spiritual aspects and relating them to daily life, this type of content writing takes me away from pain which can bind.  If able, manual labor--but praying while working--also helps distract the mind and emotions being negatively chained to pain.

I continue to ask the Lord, though, to help elevate my writing and thoughts, to guide me to His will in what is my mission now.  Is it to write my little blog reflections and occasional verbal sharing, or does He want me to write in a more focused and organized fashion, such as a small book?  Yes, that would take added discipline and effort.  Or, does He consider that my eclectic efforts are transpiring, in the pinnacle of what He said to me many years ago, when sending me back into my lifeless body on that gurney, to "rear my children and fulfill my mission"?

It could be this simple.  My mission might be to be doing and being as I am now, in my imperfections and yet my strivings for spiritual perfection--so inept in striving amidst the physical pain sapping my energy and tempting me to turn to temporal distraction that seems easier, somehow.  I do recognize that the "seeming easier" is a ruse, of course! 

What is easier than agreeing to seek what is above?  Will not my angel and the Holy Spirit--the source of energy and love, swirling and enlivening His Real Presence in our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits--lift me and revivify the seeking of that which is above, not of earth? 

So I accept!  I agree to seek what is above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God--to think of what is above and not of what is on earth.  May His Real Presence and the Blessed Virgin Mary, take the fullness of all that God made me, and lift my soul to heavenly efforts even while I am yet shackled to pain of temporality.  

Perhaps it is expecting a lot from grace and faith, but I have hope that  I have made the process too complicated--too much like that of processes on earth.  After all, I am dealing with God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit of all beingness and energy!  The mercy and love of His Real Presence knows no bounds.  The love and caring concern by the Virgin Mary, Mother of God, is that of mother toward child.  

We are covered by grace and love, uplifted, in good hands!

God bless His Real Presence in us!

"Brothers and sisters:
If then you were raised with Christ, seek what is above,
where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
Think of what is above, not of what is on earth.
For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
When Christ your life appears,
then you too will appear with him in glory." ~ 2 Col 3:1-4

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