Catholic Hermit: Scatter

Scatter.  That is how it seems to me--just a lot of "scatter."  

We all have scatter.  Piles of mail to go through: find a place for the keepers, a place for the bills to be paid, and recycle container for the rest.  Appointments to make and keep or ponder and cancel, phone calls to answer, note times and dates, phone calls to make.  Stuff to sort and put away, take away, trash or recycle.  Just a pilfering of the multitudinous scatter tasks and scatter thoughts--not to forget the scatter emotions that come with each present moment of dealing with scatter. 

It takes body, mind, and heart to move through scatter.

As a consecrated Catholic hermit, I am realizing just how badly the scatter has taken roost with the months of being between hermitages and needing to stay with family and friends.  Plus, I am realizing I was quite used to construction mode with all the scatter all about in the environment of remodeling as well as mind-scatter with figuring major construction tasks from as a novice carpenter not expecting to have to enter into that type of scatter--and for several years at older age.

Like anyone who is trying to settle in, who  perhaps has had to go off the path somewhat when circumstances interfered with the usual, we ourselves are the only ones who can ultimately get back on track, settle in, discipline to listen and discern and heed and do God's will.  A big portion of God's will is to then create the scenario and equip ourselves with the means externally but very much more so the internal fortitude to follow through on what God desires of and for us.

Just a bit ago I realized the day is waning, and I have not brought in a box of books, not one box.  I still can.  My back has been resting for yet another day, but the scatter has needed action of the external type although prayer is always an integral part of any external action.  Even if not conscious or verbal prayer, prayer is within and the Holy Spirit is uttering in thought flashes or heart beats, prayer on our behalves--for those of us who love the Lord and know in faith that He is in us and us in Him.

But the effort I need in discipline against so much external and internal scatter is mine to engender.  Thus far I'm not doing that good a job at focus on the spiritual "tools" that will shape the day in order, peacefulness--well, let me write it yet again:  The Nine S'!

Where is the silence, solitude, slowness, suffering, selflessness, simplicity, stillness, stability, and serenity?  I find the suffering, yes; that is the easiest as it is always present in a noticeable manner in my body.  Yet the other s' that are the platform to what is to be my Gospel Rule of Life, are woefully sketchy other than, of course, solitude now that I'm not a guest in others' homes of recent note.  Silence is here other than when I put on background noise of some sort.  Yes, noise can be a pain management distraction technique. But it also is for me, a hermit, a form of scatter.

Slowness--yes, that is in abundance these days!  My pained body is woefully slow, but there is more to my slowness that is not positive, and that is the aspect of my body and mind railing against forcing up in the morning and tending to some sort of schedule.  I'm scattered!  The slowness is not so much a spiritual good-slowness of focused and intentional tending to the nuances of the Holy Spirit; my slowness these days and nights is human slowness, a weary slowness of which perhaps it is possible for me to push a bit, to make the pained body forget it is weary and propel into motion while yet having that slowness that makes movement effective.

Stillness and stability are choices, as well, for this hermit to be consciously making when scatter disrupts the previous development within of these and the other s'.  The past three days I've remained physical stabilized in this hermitage.  Some of that was made easy by a pain siege that nails me to the cross in body--but the mind can yet scatter!  The emotions can create a sense of more scatter, yet!  So stability has facets to consider and contend with in order for that "s" to shine as Christ's.

Serenity seems passive, yes; but the opposition is scatter of disjointed type--subtle--but not the peaceably subtle serenity that is ours with choice of our desire and will and God's grace.  

Selflessness--I suppose there can be a form of scatter in what is actually a false selflessness.  We can become scattered in our attempts at selfless thoughts and actions.  But the selflessness of the Nine S' is borne of a spirit ensconced in Christ's Spirit, His selfless love, His quintessential, sacrificial flow.  Selflessness of this latter type is something for which I pray.  A simple, outer example can come when we unconsciously shift from outer scatter to offer something in sacrifice of even our intended focus--even if in prayer as a hermit--to do or say or be for some other desire or need that God presents to us.  This selflessness can be very much an outer act or thought, but asked of us by God, often for others.

Well, I'm trying to settle down, trying to examine the scatter in order to sift and soften and settle all of it, body, mind, heart and even when my spirit seems scattered as a result of the other scatter.  I still will bring in at least one box of books and unpack them.  The books--all spiritual tomes--remind me of the good that spiritual reading, including lectio divina as Bibles and other writings of scriptural exegesis are in some of the boxes.  

Just the reminder that the books will provide bring hope of returning to a greatly reduced scatter, to the desired prayer for essentially no scatter intruding in my hermit day, my hermit night, my hermit body, mind, heart, and spirit.

Otherwise, I also must trust that if my body is this fatigued, that simply examining the reality of scatter is doing much good right now.  Simply face scatter in varying modes and degrees can help "simplify" scatter.  Simplifying the whole issue of scatter is of benefit, too!

My God, I love You!  I love Your patience with whatever is my present moment struggle.  You know I'm trying.  Thank You!