Much has transpired in temporal and spiritual life, as is usual for all of life. I tend to forget that flora and fauna experience many transitions and phases in their daily lives, as well as do us humans. Often, a challenge for humans is to be cognizant and sensitive to the transitions occurring in our fellow human beings, as there are as many trials and situations going on within others bodies, minds, hearts, and souls as in our own.
I've spent nearly five weeks staying at a family member's lovely and spacious home. This cousin is married to a nearly life-long friend of mine, so in essence we are bonded in addition to childhoods shared, to being related through their marriage. We have long and deep connections that span over five decades.
Over three months, the cousin experienced some type of extreme fatigue causing a break or shift in body and mind. Many tests were administered; he was hospitalized for two or three weeks. A team of health care professionals assists them now that he is home, with an aide coming two days a week while the other three he'd attend an outpatient group therapy program until recently. Now a second aide is being interviewed today to assist him the three days since he no longer attends the group program.
The diagnosis has been elusive. Tests are inconclusive, but a new neurologist on the case is scheduling more tests, for she does not think early dementia is accurate. Depression was an early aspect of the diagnosis, but there seems to be some cognitive aspect to the rather mysterious malady that came to the forefront from extreme fatigue--driving a distance in heavy traffic to and from a very long work day in a professional career now coming to an end. Physical balance was affected greatly.
I have been told by the cousin as well as his wife, that I my being there has been a great help to each of them in different ways. And I assured them that their hosting me for this length of time was of benefit to me, also. It had been past due time for me to get out from under the young family I was previously staying with while familiarizing myself with an area and its real estate market and seeking the next place to "be" for whatever time on earth the Lord wills me to remain.
Phases in life come and pass. The phases of this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit have been short, recently: more temporary than most phases when we consider being in a place as part of a phase. But there are various ways to view and examine "phases" in our lives. There may be temporal phases of location, physical phases of health, emotional phases of relationships, mental phases of education, work, interactions, and spiritual phases of soul school and growth in virtues and close, loving relationship with His Real Presence--Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Today, for me, begins a new phase of temporal being. Yes, each day on earth can be viewed as a new phase; but today is a new phase of greater magnitude as it will mean a temporal stability in locale and place to be, to exist, to enter once again into the silence of solitude as a consecrated eremite. Tonight, barring some lifting out of life by God should He choose my earthly passing today, I will be sleeping on the floor of the next hermitage, Solus Deus: God Alone.
As I consider the great faith of the Syrophonecian woman depicted in today's Gospel reading for the Holy Mass, I pray that I might have that depth of faith and trust in the Lord to heal all wounds of body, heart, mind and spirit in those I know and love, and in those unknown to me on this earth. I pray for healing for myself, and for the person--a stranger at first but no longer--with whom I've been staying for two nights while waiting to complete the necessary transactions one enters into when securing a place to live.
Being a hermit in the 21st century requires learning to consider the present moment in that a hermit of the fifth century or any previous time period, had to live according to the present moments of their society, laws, and cultures yet to remain true to their God-called way of eremitic life and live out their hiddenness and prayerful existences in praise of God to the best of their abilities and situations.
I know not what will be in this next phase, other than where I will physically be, finally, in Solus Deus, unpacking over time the books by which I learn increasingly from the great spiritual masters--hermits, mystics, spiritual directors, holy men and women who wrote of their lives, experiences and knowledge with and of God. I will once more be in the solitude of silence, better able to live the hours of the day without considering them, yet with the rhythm of the Divine Office, interspersed with some manual labor, and always, of course, with my bodily suffering forming the greatest link of love with the Beloved, Jesus Christ, every holding onto Him in his crucified suffering.
I have another MRI coming up soon--this one of the thoracic spine. And then, there will be a review with the doctor, and a referral to a surgeon to determine what surgery might help alleviate the difficulties that have arisen over the years, causing increasing pain and threatening proper use of limbs. My damaged spine has taken a lot of hard use and has served me well in the temporal and spiritual phases of my life since the accident at age 33--my earthly, bodily crucifixion, of sorts.
Solus Deus will be a fascinating hermitage. The way in which it all came to be and fell into place is, as God always has such aspects--miraculous in the unfolding. How smoothly it all transpired. I pray that I consider how phases--one after another--when willed by God seem so meant to be and flow smoothly and often rapidly, after lengths of seemingly torturous seeking and waiting.
I asked God to choose the hermitage, and indeed He has. I am not naive to think that there will not be soul school a plenty, nor freedom from suffering in Solus Deus. But God Alone knows, and God is through me, with me, in me, as I am in Him, remaining in His Love on this temporal day on earth which we celebrate as St. Valentine's Day--a celebration of love of one another and love of God--lest anyone on earth forget that "God Is Love."
No comments:
Post a Comment