For various reasons, blog writing has been fallow for awhile now. Perhaps it is due to the present moment situation of on-going transition--except the transition is not transiting well into more permanence. It seems as if the Lord is wanting me to be receptive to and peaceful in the present moment of unknowing other than transiency.
But to my topic, now, of deception and lies. This nothing and currently more pained, consecrated, Catholic hermit finds these two nasties all the more repugnant in current episodes of each and both. They do rather go together yet have nuances of distinction.
Here's the lies-and-deception deal:
Lies are untruths. People who lie either realize they are lying or have lied so often they no longer realize it; or they deceive themselves that they somehow aren't lying. Lying is very bad--a sin.
Deceptions are untruths. People who deceive other or themselves either realize they are deceivers and/or deceived or have been deceivers or deceived so often they no longer realize it, thus deception enshrines them. Deception is very bad--a sin.
Lies and deceptions are related but distinct in that lies are blunt and deceptions cagey, tricky, and to me seem extra malicious. At least a liar is outright with the falsehood. A deceiver strives also to make the fact of the lie less despicable to him- or herself as well as to others. Deception is extra despicable due to the added effort as well as in more intellect used in malicious cover-up. Liars tend not to bother with added subterfuge in the act of lying.
Recently, I've had situations in which lies and deceptions presented themselves in daily life.
One was someone who wrote lies and deceptions. Written lies are also known as libel, a crime punishable by law if the victim decides to press a law suit. In order to collect damages, the victim must prove some type of wrong that has cost the person material loss--career, reputation, financial, etc. Deceptions are more difficult to pursue to recover damages in the temporal aspect; again, deceptions are the more devious and devilish, in a way.
The person who lied about me, in some instances did so outright. The deceptions were written in ways as to throw people off from the reality, yet at the same time demeaned me by twisting facts to make certain things seem to be one way when in fact, they were not at all. Deceivers pride themselves in the use of words, often enough, and pride in their intelligence--to pull the wool, so to speak. Liars simply state untruths without trying to couch the lie/s in a web of distraction in order to fool.
A lie is such as when a child [I use child as example because lying is so childish] says another child did something when that child did not. A deception is such when a child twists the truth, alters it some but not fully, implies or suggests with added innuendo or outdated aspects, that the other child did something when that child did not.
Or, of course, a liar and deceiver can combine the two, plus make it however the liar and deceiver wants it to be, regarding the other child. The desire of a liar and deceiver is to accomplish a selfish goal that basically comes down to a "win", of which underlying the hoped for "win" is to aggrandize the self at the expense and detriment of the other.
Liars are more easily caught as it takes less proof, generally, to point out a lie against truth. Deceivers are more difficult to unravel in what seems to be logical, but indeed are a tangled, ball of words. Usually the more words the deceiver utilizes, the more involved the deception. Facts are removed, some facts left in, falsehoods added, time frames altered which offers much room for intimations and innuendos to flourish in the mind of the reader or listener.
A person who deceives is actually a liar, but a liar who prides him- or herself in pleasure of his or her (usually) gloating intellect. There is an element of daring-do in a deceiver, as a deceiver takes a lie and compounds it into multiples of lies couched with devious word-flourishes. There is a certain delight that a deceiver finds in being ever-so-clever, thinking he or she has fooled others. But often enough the deceiver begins to become one of the fooled.
A deceiver is but a fool. No matter the lies that are embellished and adorned with confusions and mental twists to convince others of what is not truth, truth will always come forth. Truth might not seem to come soon enough for the victim of lies and deception, or even for those others who read or listen to the deceiver. Such truth might not even seem to come in timely manner for the outright liar (of whom we might find a pure lie refreshing compared to the wearying effect of unraveling the deception).
But truth always comes. If not in the order of man in the temporal realm, it always comes when God judges our lives in our passing over from this world to the other side, from the temporal to the mystical realms.
I figure the person who has openly lied about me as well as twisted some of it into deceptions. has done so to assuage feelings of self-righteous needs of varying distinctions. I also figure that none of it matters, for God is my judge above all others. What do I care if others get swept up in untruths, easy enough to dislodge and expose if I wanted or if there were some need?
There is not a need. Those who know and who have seen through the lies and deceptions, merely realize all the more how silly and yet how pathetic that someone would have such neediness for approval and superiority as to continue such obvious falsehoods. I'm too busy trying to keep up with myself, and with those liars and deceivers who can cause me more temporal harm and hardship.
As is said, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never harm me."
So it is that my other recent experience of lies and deceptions has to do with the property I was in process of purchasing, for it to become my "place" to be, to live on this earth, to have as my next hermitage. Besides an ominous dream the night my offer was accepted by the seller [I witnessed an electrocution of myself or some other--not sure which--in graphic visual], there began a series of lies given outright, as well as deceptions.
One by one, these untruths gurgled to the surface, often not in order of their verbalization. (Verbalized untruths are less concrete to pin down as to whom is the source; written ones are quite easy to pinpoint--either the person writing the lies and deception or someone who is assisting and providing a means or way to lie and deceive.)
So my agent was told there were multiple offers on the property, and it was hinted as to the amount under and over the asking price. Then the seller's agent said there had been ten showings of the property the first night on the market. We had no reason to doubt, at the time. So we made an offer accordingly, and that offer was accepted. Then came time for the inspection. An inspection provides a means for the buyer to back out of a property contract as always there are flaws uncovered--rather like unmasking outright flaws (lies), and if a good inspection, then unmasking more devious and hidden flaws (deceptions).
The seller's agent had told my agent that the roof was about two years old. There were several items that came up in the inspection, as one would expect in a "dated" house, but nothing too unusual. However, the inspector questioned the age of the roof, but when I said it was about two years old, he concluded it must have received extensive damage in harsh winter year before last, and probably was a 20-year-roof. It was obvious the HVAC system (furnace, water heater, and air conditioner) was old--visually seen; but the furnace filter was quite clogged and probably had not been changed for a couple of years.
So I did the research on what the HVAC system would cost in replacement, as well as I priced out cost of windows as those were dated and some had seals broken. All else were items I could repair, thanks to all the enforced skills I had to learn on the last hermitage of which I got myself into quite a mess with a deceptive inspector, realtor, and first contractor.... (They did not outright lie--just deceived in multiple deceptions. It was in a way far worse than outright lies--and easier for them to slither on in life.)
The night before I needed to agree to move forward on the property, I scoured over the seller's disclosure form, finding out that the roof was not two years old but nearly 16 years old. Ah, that left a terrible feeling in the gut. But my agent and I gave benefit to the doubt to the seller's agent, that somehow a recently diagnosed ailment caused her to make the error. Onward, forward.
But then, my agent was told that the seller would probably not come down on price much especially for the furnace, as she had it serviced twice a year and had receipts to prove it. Well, I considered asking for the receipts--at least to see who she'd hired as he or she must have been terrible in not changing the filters yet charging her. But it seemed a small matter, that, for the furnace would die sooner than later, already being way beyond life expectancy.
Next came the response from the seller, for I had indeed asked for a credit or lowered priced due to all that was found wrong--especially the "discrepancy" (kinder word for deception when one is still uncertain if a lie or simply an error or slip of tongue) about the roof. The seller's agent told my agent that the seller had recently had bad health news, could not come down on price other than a tiny bit, and could not delay closing as she had to retire suddenly, needed the money so as to spend time with her loved ones.
Oh, my! My agent said he dared not ask more, as it seemed dire; and the plight of the seller pulled at my heart strings! I began praying for her health, for whatever bad health news, for her finances and her time remaining.
Until...a few hours later after agreeing to the not-much lower price for the much-higher costs exposed by the inspection, I remembered that early on in the negotiations, the seller had offered to "carry" the balance of the loan. (Of course, I would never do that, as it can complicate matters, and I had a good interest rate with a bank--secure, cut-and dried business dealing.) Yet, why would someone with terrible health news who needed to retire at closing to spend time with loved ones, be offering to carry a mortgage?
I mentioned this anomaly to my agent; he, too, recalled this offer from seller. Suspicions rose like the truth bubbling from an underground spring of actualities. We decided it time to ask the seller's agent how long is the seller willing to carry the loan?. Perhaps the seller just found out this bad health news, not two weeks prior. If the answer would be a longer period of time, then my agent was going to ask why would someone with dire health news be willing to carry?
Indeed, the answer was that the seller wanted to carry the balance of the mortgage for 20 years! Yes, she wanted to have a nice addition to her pension, we were told. So my agent asked the next question, which caught the seller's agent in the lie--as deceptions that are outright and eventually uncovered equate into the lies they simply are. "Too many questions about my client's health!" was the dismissive response.
So, with that untruth out in the open, the roof "discrepancy" moved to the untruth or lie column, as well. Benefit of the doubt left the playing field. Then the nagging sense plagued me that there had been no other offers! I discussed it with my agent, and my concern included that of the youngish seller's agent who I had found out lived next door, but also due to her own health issue. How awful for a person to be lying and deceiving when one's own health outcome lay in the crosshairs of life and death?
I mentioned the gnawing doubts to the lender, as all that remained in the process was the appraisal. Appraisals rarely--emphasize rarely--come back lower than sales price. He augmented that fact with how few he's had in his banking career. My agent also said he's not had appraisals come back low in his real estate career. He decided to confront his colleague, the seller's agent, about our doubts.
Of course, she was adamant that they did indeed have other offers. (In retrospect, I realize no proof was offered; if I had been accused of that, I would have pulled out offers and shown them to verify.) She got emotional, saying how important is her real estate reputation. My agent did not know if the emotion was due to her own health challenge, or as I began to wonder--guilt in being caught?
The next situation arose when the appraisal finally came in. God protected me as well as exposed more untruths regarding the price, at least. The appraisal came back significantly lower.
My agent asked not only if the seller would lower the price. I certainly, with all the other signals, was not going to pay more than the appraised value. Also, since I was going to physically be able to make the trip to visit my spiritual father as well as relatives and friends, make some financial arrangements, we asked for an 8-day extension for closing. I wanted to be back to sign closing papers in person and have the property walk-through.
The seller's agent said the seller would, after much convincing, lower the sales price to the appraised value. But she would not be willing to extend the closing. By now, into my journey, I learned that I also would need to have the closing papers notarized with over-night mail each way involved, rather than simply signing electronically. It became imperative that the closing be delayed.
The reason the seller could not extend the 8 days, was by now to be expected: a reason deceptive and ridiculous. She said she'd had to put her husband in a nursing home, and the nursing home was demanding payment the day before Thanksgiving (the day of original closing on this property).
By now, not much carried weight in words from the seller or her agent. The negotiation had to be made in writing, regardless, so my agent and I offered two documents: 1) the bank appraised price and 8 day extension to close; 2) seller could cancel. I asked my agent to explain my predicament with trying to get a document notarized and overnighted back, as the banker had called me, as well, to say that with the lower price, it was going to be quite difficult to get all the paper work changed, mailed to me, notarized, and back to him for the day prior to Thanksgiving. I also asked my agent to mention that surely the seller or her agent could contact the nursing home and assure them the payment would be there on the last day of November.
I asked the Lord to let truth prevail...and to choose for me if I was to have this property as my hermitage, through the decision of the seller.
Her choice was to cancel the property deal. I found out when I received a real estate online site notification of new properties on market even before my agent found out and could call me. The seller and her agent re-listed the property for even more than the too-high first sales price. Obviously, she did not need the money for the nursing home...or else her husband was rolled out onto the street on a gurney as now the seller has started the process all over.
Thus far it has not been sold again; and I now think even the bank appraised price is on the high side. Banks are in business, and a huge part of their business is in lending money over long periods of time, gaining interest on the loans.
A friend emailed asking if the seller would ask me to purchase at even a bit lower than the other lower price, shouldn't I follow through for a place to live and consider it a better deal?
No, not at all! The Lord chose. He revealed several lies--each of which other than the out right roof age lie, were tricky and devious deceptions. Some were so frail as to be easily unmasked even if not immediately. I would no more want to live beside the seller's agent, as I would to the devil. I did not want to do business with such a seller, either, any more than I would with the devil!
Now, I'm not equating the seller's agent or the seller with the devil, or as the devil, but the devil is certainly working in that agent and seller who have so much at risk. But I am praying for them, certainly. I'm also not equating the person who has written about me with twisting of facts and creating misleading detraction and deception, as well as outright lies--with the devil. Yet indeed the devil is in this person, and the more in denial the person may be, the more the devil has turned the evil of deception back upon that person, by deceiving the deceiver. Poor character, all this, at minimum!
The devil is the author of lies and deceptions.
My main concern, personally, is selfishly for my soul. These ridiculous and time-taking lies and deceptions in temporal life dealings always involve the spiritual, of course. But they cause me to scour my own life as I did that seller's disclosure form; I review times I have failed in any form or hint against honesty, against truth.
At minimum, I want to be quite honest with myself, and of course, in confession to God be it when alone in my now transiency of temporary living circumstances or in sacramental confession. God will judge me! I pray He will continue to prick me and reveal to me my own soul.
The ugliness and snares of lies and deception--well, see how easily they pour out of the mouth or from the hand; and how, by the grace of God for all persons involved, they do get revealed whether or not the liar and deceiver want to see clearly or not.
God bless His Real Presence us in us! Darkness does not like the light! Truth and untruth cannot each or both inhabit holiness!
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