I'm sharing this experience with a demon, as it at least was profound in what I learned and benefitted. While a reader would need to be at least aware of or somewhat comfortable with supernatural realities, others may not be able. Such experiences are not new in the realities of demons and how they can materialize or manifest in varying forms and ways, although probably their most clever disguises are in people's minds, words, and actions among us, in tangible signs and within situations.
I will describe this although it is not one of the more "dramatic" attempts of the devil in my lifetime. Yet I learned much from it which I can apply to daily life and in my prayers and dealings with others and in circumstances. In another blog post, I hope to describe the effects of sharing such numinous experiences with others, especially with Catholics as they tend to have more inhibiting filters in some ways, than others. Or perhaps it has to do very much also with how entrenched are certain souls in the temporal as opposed to the spiritual.
Now the experience of a week ago Saturday.
The night before, I had realized that the Lord had allowed the awful "blockade" with a medical clinic with which I'd tried for three days to get a much-needed antibiotic but was too ill to go in person. Yet the illness did not warrant an ambulance as most would take me to a hospital emergency room, and that would be ridiculous for a simple antibiotic. The problem seemed to stem from a doctor I'd seen the previous Monday but who neglected to write down my symptoms nor that I asked if I should have an antibiotic then or wait. She thought to wait a bit; they tend to want to make sure not a virus.
So I realized once the block was breached and with ease, then, I had the antibiotic by Friday night despite being extremely ill by then as the strep had gone untreated for three added days--yes, I realized the Lord had allowed the entire situation. For one aspect, the doctor is the least likely to neglect making complete notes in a medical chart.
On Saturday morning I awoke, per usual, on my left side. I can only sleep on that side due to back problems for sleeping on stomach or back, and the shoulder surgeries kept me from sleeping on right side. There I was, on my left side, and I could not move to raise up. Something was sitting on me; and I could tangibly sense someone on me and could "see" with inner sight, at first, that it was a youthful, smallish demon. And I thought the demon was manifesting as a male, although we know that neither angels of light nor the dark, fallen angels, are actually male or female. They can present themselves, though, in various forms, and any has a reason, a purpose for a visit as well as how they present themselves--and the latter depends upon the ability of the person in perceiving the numinous.
I then was able to physically turn my head slightly enough to see that instead of a male demon, it was a female demon (dark angel appearing as a young, small female). With that, an insight came. I had made an assumption, incorrect; it is not good to make assumptions. Then also came the infusion of compassion and an understanding of purpose. Not only had I made an incorrect assumption, but I had not considered caring or what good I could do, if there was something more to offer? I actually felt compassion for that angel of darkness, and as it is in these situations in which infused thoughts are split-second or less, I had love and concern, and knew I could not only learn from the aspects of this demon preventing me from moving, but also could offer a sense of mercy, and even a "sense" or a "thought" is communication, and with God, that is prayer.
I noticed a mournful aspect in the demon's countenance (again, only manifested, but there it was--intended for me to notice as the entire episode was for a good purpose). Immediately the smallish, female demon dematerialized and was gone. I could fully move again. I have long since not been bothered by the various types of demonic assault of this more corporeal form. Rather, I tend to marvel at how God brings such positive in practical, temporal lessons as well as in lessons for my will, intellect, and understanding.
It was the utter mercy--the compassion that arose in me spontaneously--that caused the demon to depart. I write "spontaneously" for it seemed not at all of my intellect or will that thought of having compassion and understanding for an angel of darkness--a devil! That good came from the Holy Spirit; therein was a mercy-filled peace. And it was the thought spontaneously arisen that even in this situation with the devil, there could be a good that I could offer, a purpose such as to pray and to compassionate with the unimaginable sorrow that would consume a fallen angel, damned for eternity.
Then I considered why God needed to have me experience this demon-paralysis. Why did He need to get my attention like that? Surely He knew I'd not be bothered as I've learned over the years to deal with such matters--yet always recognizing that the way in which they were dealt with came not from me but from the Holy Spirit. So my dealing with the matters is in letting the Holy Spirit show me how, and this is done not by my own doing, either. Yet, I allow it, such as times when in my inner sight and inner ability to act, a rosary would appear that I could grab without moving a bodily muscle, and holding it out to a demon, the demon would vanish. Anyway, there are more examples but not needed to share now.
When I recognized the purpose for the demonic visitor, I could apply it to the current situation: the awful illness that was going to have me laid up much longer due to the neglect and dysfunction--ineptitude--of the medical clinic's staff. Yet, when I saw the power to drive out a demon that could come by not making assumptions but rather by looking at (in my mind) the clinic staff and reflecting upon the various voices of persons I spoke to over the past few days to try to get them to realize I did need an antibiotic and could not physically come in to tell them my symptoms in person, I could see them from a merciful and compassionate point of view. I could understand that plight of so many people who are very much anchored in the temporal rules and unable to adapt to the occasional situation that requires flexibility in their pattern or logic.
I could also grasp that the Lord wished for me to see in a way, how sorrowful, for they really did not know what they were doing, and the strep could easily cause permanent damage or more, untreated. Or that they could not believe a patient with records to look back upon, who was not lying about having given the symptoms in person a couple days prior, and not the patient's fault the doctor failed to make notations. So I could pray for these clinic human beings, and also to realize just as I had mistaken the demon as male instead of female, that I might also be limiting my prayers to medical circumstances in the clinic staff such as their abilities or jobs, but must more so consider praying for souls, and that someone there or several, have great needs in their temporal and spiritual lives, for both are melded even if we humans tend to ignore the spiritual which is immense compared to the portion of temporal.
(I consider this as is said of the human brain--that we use but 10% of our brains and neglect the vastness of the other 90%. So, too, do we neglect the vastness of the spiritual of which we will operate and exist fully after our earthly passing.)
With all lessons from God, and seemingly those intended to grab our attention such as a devil sitting on a person tends to do--but more so truly we have lessons in daily life that we tend to "miss"--there is always a test to come. I was not expecting the test; as I am too distracted, I admit. Yet the test came the next day.
I awoke with anger toward the clinic staff as I was still very ill and suffering, and I was realizing I'd not be able to do something the next weekend that I felt was a good thing to do, for someone other, a kindness involving some sacrifice on my part. Ye, no doubt my angel and the Holy Spirit placed the insight within, and I knew I had already lapsed and needed to review the lesson. Have understanding, compassion--show mercy and love--pray for those who did not realize what they were doing other than from their perspective and set regimen.
(In general, it is a good thing that doctors do not dispense medications without knowing symptoms, but then there are cases in which discretion is needed, and wise flexibility. They could have called the doctor the first day wherever she was and asked if I had mentioned my symptoms and asked for antibiotic. But then, I'd not have had the experience nor the invaluable lessons gained.)
Well, I'm not a concise writer. My sentences are too long. I go into detail and repeat thoughts. Yet I hope what is shared has some use for someone else even though I know, also from experience, that the experiences we have of God's power and grace never quite mean the same or are as profound to others as they are to us.
Consider Jesus, James, Peter, and John in today's Gospel reading for Mass: the Transfiguration of Jesus on Mt. Tabor. It all occurred on a very tangible and temporal place, a mountain. There were four human beings there, however with only one being the Man God, the Son of God, the Messiah. Peter, James, and John each had different reactions to what they saw manifest before their eyes. They each took with them different experiences, perhaps lessons learned, and no doubt mulled them later on, but were not able quite to glean all from what Jesus told them at the time.
While the Transfiguration was what we might call a very positive experience as it showed the glory of God in Christ, it also has with it the darkness, the evil that would come later but was already woven into the salvation plan of Christ's suffering and death in reparation for our sins and to secure our salvation, our own transfiguration.
We are evolving souls, and with each experience whether it be something quite tangible or mystical, either way--we have the capability to have our souls transformed, and our souls include so many aspects of our beings. I suppose the main aspect is for us to be open to whatever the Lord wills to teach us in whatever format and means.
Turn all in our lives to God Who Is Love and Mercy. All then shall be good even if we might not see just how good and holy.
God bless His Real Presence in us.
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