I'm getting used to this format in blogger, of the comments, and am not sure where the comment "went" but think I posted it. It was from someone pointing out that I had posted something evidently regarding Paul of which his Conversion Day celebrated by the Roman Church is January 25, but somehow I posted it on the 27th. Perhaps I had done some editing on it which then had it be posted on the day of editing, which may have been the 27th, or I had started to write it on the 25th but pain interfered with finishing it, so did not hit the upload until the 27th.
Regardless, wherever that post is, and the comment pointing out that the day of celebrating Paul's conversion is January 25, thank you for mentioning it so that readers will be clear on rejoicing that Paul converted, and that the Church of Rome has it on the saint calendar for January 25. We all, of course, can be grateful and celebrate good mentors and souls of our Christian forebears any day, and this is a good reminder to do so on any day of the year. We can praise God for good Christians and those who wrote of God and their missions in life, every day!
I like this idea of doing so, although I used to have all the days memorized of which date was with which holy person, until there became so many interesting holy persons including those I've known in my life time, to remember their earthly as well as eternal birthdays, I realized the dates did not matter nearly as much as praising God for the meaning and message and missions of these great Christian mentors, including family members and friends who've inspired in so many loving ways.
In future, if a post does not happen to coincide with a particular day, just assume that I edited it later so it uploaded to the day of editing, or else I started it on one day and finished it on some other day. In my world of massive pain, days don't so much matter anymore, and I suppose I have leaned more to the content and thought and the persons or whatever, than any date usually arbitrarily chosen. However, it is lovely to celebrate as united in love of these persons, a special day, and that is why we have these feast days and solemnities, I suppose, just as we try to remember people around us on their birthdays and anniversaries of special meaning in their lives.
Perhaps I ought to include specifically the date of such personages' being celebrated when I mention them, and then it won't matter what date I actually post or edit the blog post? That seems a good idea if I can remember to do it!
I know to some it doesn't matter, but to others it does. We need to be mindful of the needs of those to whom it does matter, and to be inclusive of those needs of clarity for it never hurts to do so! It is a matter of being thoughtful, in fact,
God bless His Real Presence in us! Thank you, Saul-become-Paul, for the focus and intensity of your missions to spread the Gospel message and to undergo so many trials in your incessant desire to express the reality of Jesus Christ and to make reparation for your misunderstanding His reality before the great conversion occurred to you on the road to Damascus.
I watched a documentary called The Last Apostle on Amazon Prime. To my surprise and delight, it featured a professor and former neighbor of mine some years ago, and documented his own explorations and sharing of Paul's mission trips in Turkey and the Island of Cypress. The film has me re-enthused about reading Paul's epistles and visualizing the terrain and the trials Paul encountered. It also reminds me of my love of Christ and love of His Living Word, and of focusing on what is my mission in this phase of my life, with my children long-since reared and not at all "needing" me, and in fact, finding my pain and circumstances therein to be a heavy reminder and weight of suffering that very much was their childhood.
It also got me to realizing the consequences never end and continue on compounding, such as realizing the strain of a spouse leaving the family, leaving young children to often care for a single parent in pain and unable to get up very often, and the fragile temper and ability to cope without pain medication at the time. Also, there was the great financial stress and the children getting after-school jobs and working through college, plus paying off student loans for years, when the parent who left gained in wealth to a point of absurd contrast to the children and disabled parent he chose to leave, as well as to shirk on various child support payments, children's health insurance, wedding costs, and no college help whatsoever.
All those choices put more strain on the disabled spouse and more so on the children, so that as adults, their childhood seems nothing they want to remember which fractures sibling relationships and all the more causes a great need to be freed of the worsening suffering of the parent who reared them. They need great gulps of fresh life freed of all that suffering, as well as likely do not understand the suffering parent's tremendous need, dependency, and love of God. We have consequences all our lives from one choice, one decision, and the need for on-going forgiveness is real. However, not all people can forgive to that extent, nor forget. And the only recourse is truly to turn even more to God in thanksgiving and love, in seeking His guidance and forgiveness for the choices good and bad, of which both can be misunderstood by the innocent victims at the time which are the children.
Just an aside of some realities that have been shown to me yet again from a different perspective and understanding, and the need to let go even more, and to seek what it is that is the "mission" that God told me years ago in the death experience, when He sent me back to "rear your children, and fulfill your mission." All I can figure currently is that my mission is to continue suffering the worsening pain and debilitation of this Adhesive Arachnoiditis, and to trust all the more in the locution a month or so prior to my Confirmation as a Catholic--before I knew what "Holy Mother Church" term was. Awaking one morning in that summer, I heard a voice say with great authority and strength: "Lo and Behold! By the power of this locution, your sufferings and the sufferings of Holy Mother Church SHALL BE MADE ONE!"
I might write more on this in a blog post, for the pain is worsening to a point that I'm just trying to make it to tomorrow morning's appt. with orthopedic surgeon to drain the knee and do an injection with a more experimental medication, and prayerfully, hopefully, tell me what is wrong with my horribly painful left shoulder. Then Wednesday morning is the injection into the SI joint, to try to relieve tremendous pain in the left leg and hip, although actually the pain is also in right hip and across lumbar. The increase medication release from the pump last Wednesday has had no effect in subduing the pain. It seems the Arachnoiditis is worsening, progressing, making it difficult to step on the feet especially getting up in the morning or from bed. Neuropathy has beset the legs and feet more so than ever before. This should not surprise me; it is all part of the Arachnoiditis projectory.
The Church must be in greater need of the reparative suffering, that my suffering and the suffering of Holy Mother Church is One.
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