Utter humility and recognizing oneself as nothing and God as All brings one's soul like Mary who was at the feet of Jesus, her tears washing His feet. These surely were tears of emotion wrought from the outer and inner view and knowledge of self that being in God's presence elicits: of the sheer nothingness of our existences except for whatever of us is in God.
This morning, the only aspect I see of self is what I know to be only that which is as hazy reflection of His Real Presence.
I consider how much of this life I waste, in effect, with emotion and thought on what I see that is disappointing, and that includes mostly and very much of what I see of myself with inner sight, even, but also outer sight. My mind and heart and soul are weary of temporal and long for His Real Presence.
Yet it does no good to long for what I am yet not given, but must remain here on earth and learn what lessons yet to learn, and to do as Jesus did when yet on earth, of which I most often seeming to waft rather than to be in His lived examples. I still have much to which I cling of temporal emotions and thoughts, and I do what I can to distract myself so that time passes, and I do not notice the body so much in its ongoing pain.
Today I will continue on with the efforts needed to construct a type of platform on post that can stand on floor and nearly to ceiling to hold up the other end of furring strips of wood--part of the process in putting in planks for a ceiling that will run same direction as flooring, eventually. None of it matters other than to have what temporal toils are somewhat productive and useful especially for prayer and building the virtues. Even the encounters, brief as they are, with such as young man who mixed the paint for ceiling planks, ought be that of my soul graced in His Real Presence touching the other's soul. I do this often with humor and sometimes a story of temporal incident that taught or teaches me (and potentially others) some lesson that includes humility most often.
So we strive in our bodily-tethered, earthly waiting to be enveloped fully in His Real presence, sans our bodies, to do our best in seeking Him and reminding others, I suppose, of our seeking--of our desire to be with His Real Presence at all times on earth and forever in eternity.
In the meantime, we make our errors, slip to some temptations, recognize our flaws, try to pull up and out of them like the effort it can take to rise in the morning and continue existing within the confines of our bodies.
I must not ever forget that I do not have to keep my mind, heart, and soul confined to this suffering and limiting body. Jesus did not let Mary who loved Him with all her being, touch or grab hold of Him when He had resurrected from the body, but still showed Himself in His earthly bodily format. This is something we all can learn and consider. God progresses us from dependence upon temporal, for He is Spirit and Truth, and only in faith as we are progressed by God, can we embrace His Real Presence.
That, in part, is why the Lord had my angel lead me to the stairway to heaven in the Mass, and out of body and into His Real Presence in mystical ecstasy during Masses. Even in the religious forms and representations of His Real Presence, to progress one must let go of the temporal and exist increasingly in fullness of faith and spirit.
Love in His Love, and God bless His Real Presence in us!
(Of all things, I've been having to shake off my great disappointment in seeing my neighbor act like a weasel and reveal how cheap and not man of integrity that I had wanted to see him as. But I repeat to myself and say to His Real Presence how I must "Let go! Let go!" I actually started to fall to the temptation to lower to react to cheapness and conniving, and then had to pull up and out of that, knowing what were my obligations for a major repair cost that is the result of the neighbor's tree planted near my property line and roots having rubbed a hole in main water line to my house. It is all silly other than for the lesson I learned, and how easily and quickly I can be so reactant--and over what? Let others do as they do, but as for me (and my house), we shall serve the Lord!)
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