The manual labor continues as much as the pained body can muster. There are very few days remaining in which the temperatures are high enough and there is no rain, in which to continue painting the deck, pergola--and if good weather holds long enough--the front porch flooring.
Each day, also, I am trying to paint one side each of two doors, each on a set of saw horses here beside the mattress on the floor of the hermitage great room. The deck took much preparation: hammering popped nails as well as installing over 300 deck screws to keep the nails from further "popping" their heads up. Then I had to sand the entire surface. The next two days were for priming the surfaces, and then each nail and screw indentation needed wood-filler.
All this was hopscotched between rain as well as waiting for the heavy dew to dry enough--taking at least until early afternoon.
But the pith of prayer has continued, and there have been four persons who either by a phone call or email correspondence, have confided some rather serious dilemmas going on in their lives, involving loved ones and also themselves.
Life can be quite painful.
And I began to conclude that the bulk of our human relational issues has to do with control. We desire control; and I suppose, who wouldn't think that a marvelous ability--to control situations and people in them?
And I thought some about how difficult it is to control oneself. And I will be more specific in what I was thinking: How difficult it is to control my own self! Difficult to control thoughts, difficult to control impulses, difficult to put mind over matter when it comes to pain management, difficult to make the body work when it wants to give in to itself.
But above all, I had an insight the other day amidst my becoming quite drawn into some of the troubles people were relaying to me, asking for some input in some cases but mostly wanting a listener, a supporter, and someone who they know will PRAY.
What came to me in the four or so scenarios of real lives dealing with real crises, is that all our lives would be much smoother and peaceful if we simply accepted people as they are.
To do this, we'd have to let go of control or a desire to control. We'd have to let go of our own thoughts as to what would be best for someone else; and in some cases maybe it would be better for them. But we must learn to let others live their lives just as others have let us live our lives. And above all else, God has given us freedom to live our lives, to learn our good lessons and to make our regrettable mistakes.
But back to what struck me as the insight, of which somehow I'd not considered it so profoundly in its simplicity prior--all these years of freely living life--and that is that by accepting others as they are, we are actually achieving the act of loving others.
Admittedly, I wonder if I really can accept some people. And thus, can I say I love them? Sometimes I am told personal aspects of other persons' relationships, and some of the situations involving spouses or children or other relatives and friends in people's lives can be horrible. Some people are quite ill emotionally or psychologically, or both. Some are abusive, some passive aggressive, some afraid to be assertive and thus accept abuse, or some can manipulate others or situations to a despicable degree.
So can I accept all others as they are? Can I, thus, love them--for love is so connected with the other, with accepting others as they are. For, truth be told, that is how Jesus loves us. He is able to love us because He accepts us as we are.
And of course, we must include the reality that while love is perhaps interrelated or conditioned with accepting others as they are, we know that we do not have to accept sin, wrong-doing, nastiness or vice-blighted situations.
Realizing the connection between love and accepting others as they are has helped me in the few days the insight (after all these years!) somehow struck me anew, with a reality that is actually simple. Realizing that not accepting others as they are means that I do not have love for them--unconditional love. Not accepting others as they are means I still have a need or desire or purpose of control of others, of lives not my own. It means I am deceiving myself, for I would not want to think I am playing at being God....
There have been some pretty awful situations shared with me and for which I have prayed, and in some cases the situations are so nasty that I developed a great dislike for an abusive person. While I prayed for the person and the situation, I readily admit that I did not love the person. It is not easy loving someone who abuses others.
Yet, somehow I now am able to love by means of accepting others as they are, including an abuser or the murderers in the news, or maybe even myself with all my flaws and foolishness. And I am learning better to separate the sin from the person--something I've thought I was doing for the bulk of my life, but I realize I was not succeeding in a deep way. For there would be irritation, or frustration, or anger within my thoughts when being told of some of persons in situations.
How can I pray well if I am not accepting others as they are, for how can one pray purposefully, successfully, in communication with God Who Is Love--if I do not love with full acceptance--people as they are?
So I'm working on this insight, working it into my heart, mind, and soul. I kind of practice by bringing forth in the mind some of the most irksome, nasty, abusive, murderous people out there, not only in the present moment but also from the past. And I look at them with the reminder to accept them as they are--which means to not judge them....
I suppose this all seems simplistic to most of you readers, but somehow it all was stupendous to me the other day, and a marvel, for even if I might have considered it at various times in life, I could not recall that I had, for I'd never absorbed the depth and impact of it, and the truth that I have not been loving anyone who I was not accepting for who she or he was or is.
And thus I have had a stumbling block in my love for God, as well.
As St. Bernard explains that the highest degree of love is to love God in Himself, I suspect it is also true that the most Christlike love of others is to love them in themselves. To really love them as they are which means to accept them as they are.
It is all quite a relief; it is all quite freeing. Accept others as they are; love others in themselves.
Each day, also, I am trying to paint one side each of two doors, each on a set of saw horses here beside the mattress on the floor of the hermitage great room. The deck took much preparation: hammering popped nails as well as installing over 300 deck screws to keep the nails from further "popping" their heads up. Then I had to sand the entire surface. The next two days were for priming the surfaces, and then each nail and screw indentation needed wood-filler.
All this was hopscotched between rain as well as waiting for the heavy dew to dry enough--taking at least until early afternoon.
But the pith of prayer has continued, and there have been four persons who either by a phone call or email correspondence, have confided some rather serious dilemmas going on in their lives, involving loved ones and also themselves.
Life can be quite painful.
And I began to conclude that the bulk of our human relational issues has to do with control. We desire control; and I suppose, who wouldn't think that a marvelous ability--to control situations and people in them?
And I thought some about how difficult it is to control oneself. And I will be more specific in what I was thinking: How difficult it is to control my own self! Difficult to control thoughts, difficult to control impulses, difficult to put mind over matter when it comes to pain management, difficult to make the body work when it wants to give in to itself.
But above all, I had an insight the other day amidst my becoming quite drawn into some of the troubles people were relaying to me, asking for some input in some cases but mostly wanting a listener, a supporter, and someone who they know will PRAY.
What came to me in the four or so scenarios of real lives dealing with real crises, is that all our lives would be much smoother and peaceful if we simply accepted people as they are.
To do this, we'd have to let go of control or a desire to control. We'd have to let go of our own thoughts as to what would be best for someone else; and in some cases maybe it would be better for them. But we must learn to let others live their lives just as others have let us live our lives. And above all else, God has given us freedom to live our lives, to learn our good lessons and to make our regrettable mistakes.
But back to what struck me as the insight, of which somehow I'd not considered it so profoundly in its simplicity prior--all these years of freely living life--and that is that by accepting others as they are, we are actually achieving the act of loving others.
Admittedly, I wonder if I really can accept some people. And thus, can I say I love them? Sometimes I am told personal aspects of other persons' relationships, and some of the situations involving spouses or children or other relatives and friends in people's lives can be horrible. Some people are quite ill emotionally or psychologically, or both. Some are abusive, some passive aggressive, some afraid to be assertive and thus accept abuse, or some can manipulate others or situations to a despicable degree.
So can I accept all others as they are? Can I, thus, love them--for love is so connected with the other, with accepting others as they are. For, truth be told, that is how Jesus loves us. He is able to love us because He accepts us as we are.
And of course, we must include the reality that while love is perhaps interrelated or conditioned with accepting others as they are, we know that we do not have to accept sin, wrong-doing, nastiness or vice-blighted situations.
Realizing the connection between love and accepting others as they are has helped me in the few days the insight (after all these years!) somehow struck me anew, with a reality that is actually simple. Realizing that not accepting others as they are means that I do not have love for them--unconditional love. Not accepting others as they are means I still have a need or desire or purpose of control of others, of lives not my own. It means I am deceiving myself, for I would not want to think I am playing at being God....
There have been some pretty awful situations shared with me and for which I have prayed, and in some cases the situations are so nasty that I developed a great dislike for an abusive person. While I prayed for the person and the situation, I readily admit that I did not love the person. It is not easy loving someone who abuses others.
Yet, somehow I now am able to love by means of accepting others as they are, including an abuser or the murderers in the news, or maybe even myself with all my flaws and foolishness. And I am learning better to separate the sin from the person--something I've thought I was doing for the bulk of my life, but I realize I was not succeeding in a deep way. For there would be irritation, or frustration, or anger within my thoughts when being told of some of persons in situations.
How can I pray well if I am not accepting others as they are, for how can one pray purposefully, successfully, in communication with God Who Is Love--if I do not love with full acceptance--people as they are?
So I'm working on this insight, working it into my heart, mind, and soul. I kind of practice by bringing forth in the mind some of the most irksome, nasty, abusive, murderous people out there, not only in the present moment but also from the past. And I look at them with the reminder to accept them as they are--which means to not judge them....
I suppose this all seems simplistic to most of you readers, but somehow it all was stupendous to me the other day, and a marvel, for even if I might have considered it at various times in life, I could not recall that I had, for I'd never absorbed the depth and impact of it, and the truth that I have not been loving anyone who I was not accepting for who she or he was or is.
And thus I have had a stumbling block in my love for God, as well.
As St. Bernard explains that the highest degree of love is to love God in Himself, I suspect it is also true that the most Christlike love of others is to love them in themselves. To really love them as they are which means to accept them as they are.
It is all quite a relief; it is all quite freeing. Accept others as they are; love others in themselves.
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