This old nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is still alive and on this earth--as much as I am ever on earth. Been having increased pain issues over the weekend and continuing, and prior to that simply worn out and not with the best of patience or tolerance. Sometimes a lack of tolerance can be a good thing if it helps set some healthier boundaries for oneself and hopefully others.
I got very rude and testy with someone who had gotten a bit much into a certain regimented diet that included conspiracy theories on food and other fears to a kind of obsessive degree. I know how this can be, how it can creep into a person's life. Devil behind all excesses, really.
It caused me to reflect upon my last three or more years and the dump and mess I got myself into, not realizing, of course. I reflected upon my attitude and emotions, as it was not pleasant to say the least. I was worn out upon arrival, had left a horrible neighbor situation from whence I came, and I did not control some of what I spoke out of raw emotional and crazy pain. And my adult children reacted, as well, in ways in which not all of the family members have rebounded.
I reflected upon my early phase of conversion to Catholicism and how passionate I was in the details, perhaps like the person who got caught up to rather an extreme with a diet fad and food issues. It can affect people around us in ways we don't even realize. Zeal for God is one thing, at least, that is of that above except when it gets into legalism or obsessions with rules and traditions--anything to an extreme and that is more temporal than heavenly.
All things in moderation is a wise adage, indeed. Fr. V emailed not long ago and reminded me of the good of responding to issues and formulating discussion or commentary with Scripture, for the Living Word always gives others as well as this hermit, much to ponder.
And, the Word of God always focuses thoughts and conversation away from fixations on matters from cabinet order problems or food debates with a spouse or co-worker or anger about one's upbringing. (I include a variety of real-life, recent issues brought to my attention in some contacts with others and of my own--the on-going renovation obstacles from which I've had a change of perspective.)
So I reflected upon the following Scripture over a week ago and sent it on to the one who I was rather blunt with, in my own exhaustion and hopefully good to have lost my patience and tolerance over food focus that some can get into, just as I had gotten into frustrations with the work load here and having to always be onto those trying to take advantage financially. Well, while it can be a reality, still, as one reads on in this selection from Scriptures, Jesus includes not worrying about where we live, for God takes care of us. And we, most of us, know Jesus' reminder to us that He--the Son of Man and Son of God--had no place to lay his head....
From Luke 6, I think, verses 31-32:
"Therefore do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans pursue all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you...."
Much has transpired in the past ten days. I hope to write of some of the occurrences and reflections. But for now, I am going to try to push the body up and off the mattress yet again, and plow through the pain. I'm going to see about caulking the overhang on back of hermitage. It is a messy task as the exterior caulk is very gummy; yet it is marvelously so as to be durable in all weather, and for that I can be grateful!
I'm going to be praising God that even if only a small portion of work accomplished in any given day, there is progress, and God is with us no matter what. There have been some beautiful answers to prayer that stand out, especially today, with good news of the peaceful disposition of someone who is undergoing a major life challenge requiring courage and yet tranquility in whatever the outcome. It is a matter of life, truly, and we are reminded there are always options for the future to be realized in every present moment.
God bless His Real Presence in us! Little children, let us love one another as Jesus Christ loves us!
(Ah, I made myself pick up the volume I've had on the floor by this mattress--St. Bernard's sermons on the Song of Songs [of Solomon]--and in the introduction am reminded that love will prove itself over study when it comes to our souls progressing. I do believe love is what is sought and found in the kingdom of God and His righteousness.)