I'm never finished being in awe and amazement at how the Lord weaves all the details of our every present moment into practical and beautiful fabric of life.
This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit had a call last evening from a young wife and mother. She apologized for calling and said she'd tried what she knew to try to discern her own dreams but needed my assistance. Also, she revealed an upset in which her emotions--anger--got the better of her.
And she recognized that I am, myself, going through a time period of increased quietude. I had not mentioned the current illness and how exhausted I am--with chronic pain not helping the fatigue. Yet, we talked.
The main issue continues to be challenges she faces with frustrations that culminate with anger. The dreams she perhaps hoped were physical, temporal, as subconsciously, perhaps a bit consciously, would love to have sons, being the mother of daughters. And maybe like many young mothers, the intriguing thought of twins tweaks the imagination.
However, her health, her emotions, her bodily functions, her doctors, and even her husband all point to the wisdom of being content with three healthy, beautiful little girls. And the two dreams the past two nights did not lend themselves to being foretelling of birthing twin boys.
Rather, there was a significant element in which she was to die in a spiritually provocative manner--a type of crucifixion--prior to having twin sons, with each of them first being readied for crucifixions. A woman with child--a "type" of the Virgin Mary, was in the dream telling and showing her these aspects.
So right away we have a spiritual message and also a psychological element that begs deciphering.
As our conversation also included a point of frustration for the young wife and mother, elements of that reality seemed to coincide in a way, with the dream elements. The young woman has an interest, talent, and desire for textile arts, particularly knitting, yarns, elements of dyes. She has signed up to be mentored by a guild master knitter in a nearby state, paying money for personalized lessons which require her to do practicums and answer questions, test-style.
She had sent in her first lesson's sample and answers to questions and received back a failing grade as well as was told she had done the assignment wrong. She must re-do it. This news evoked anger and resentment, for she had answered the guild master's questions--but upon further conversation, she had answered them from her perspective and in her style, not in the way the guild master expected nor wanted.
[So we have perspective again! See the previous post on this blog if interested in a meandering consideration of perspectives.]
My part in all this--my awe and amazement in how Jesus was weaving within and through my input into this young woman's dream interpretation. He wove thoughts regarding her consternation over the great disappointment and even anger over the guild-master's rejection of her sample work and test feedback. Jesus prepared me in that I could speak about artists and the variety of modalities in which artists (and that can be any art, such as the artistry of a soul) live out their passion and produce the fruit of the art form.
I shared with her the function of a guild master compared with taking university courses (schooling under an organized "system" that differs from a private tutor or master) compared with being self-taught. I shared the observations of my recent interest--and atypical for me--in the musical genius and composer, Brian Wilson of Beach Boys fame. We kind of laughed that I was deeply into absorbing the harmonies as well as the life history, listening to musical compositions while resting in my current exhaustion.
I shared what I had learned and observed by watching distant and more recent interviews covering the span of Wilson's musical career. It even helped to mention his abusive father and how music provided a save haven from being beaten quite as much. The suffering provided the vehicle for God to utilize a young man's gifts and talents to bring upbeat, joyful and also meaningful ballads, to people's listening pleasure and enrichment. This resonated with the young woman because she tends to upset over her childhood and perception of issues therein.
The young woman's dreams most likely were a foreshadowing of the death or crucifixion the young woman must undergo of her own ways of knitting. This includes innate desires to be understood and to be allowed to answer questions by her own terms and conditions. Death to self must occur in order to birth a fruitful product, a sample that will pass the guild master's inspection.
She also must put in the time and effort to listen to and watch the many Youtube videos and read the guild master's daily blog in order to learn from the guild master the methods, terminology, and perspective of the guild master's art and style of knitting.
Progress in productivity requires sacrifice of time, energy, effort, focus to the details as well as passion in the overall, desired results--of which we should never hold fast to any set perception.
I mentioned to the young woman, the viability of guild masters in history. Aspiring artists would go to Paris, France or Florence, Italy (and any number of cities and towns in various countries and still do to some extent) to study under a renowned artist. Actors and actresses call it being an understudy. Writers do similar when they go to writing conferences or tutorials or take courses (now some online) offered by successful authors.
These students of "guild" masters must learn and do as the guild master instructs and in the mode the guild master expects. One must die to one's own notions and ways of doing, at least for the time as student. Most often with the more aspirational students, after they go out on their own, they expand their art and explore with new ways of expressing with whatever is their artistic medium.
The apostles were such students to the Master, the Teacher, the Lord Jesus Christ. We can grasp the many parallels; and there is effort, obedience, learning, submission--to follow along--and learning a way. Some could not follow, could not learn in this manner. They were the ones who went away for they were not able to grasp nor to stick with the dying to self required, for one thing.
But to the young woman's purposes, she can choose to not make the time nor take the effort to be under a guild master's tutelage. It does cost money and takes time and requires dying to self-taught methods at least for awhile. The dream was showing this, and the one twin boy (male is active, action, anima) being readied for death represents the first knitting sample attempt. The second twin boy being readied is the next knitting sample that is required.
The choice for the young woman is to continue with the guild master and accept the perspective and terms taught, or take university courses (variety of instructors), or be self-taught.
Any of it requires effort, work, perseverance, being open to varying perspectives, and dying to self, for that is when God is allowed fuller reign, or even full reign eventually.
Jesus is a weaver. He is not so much a guild master in a formal sense, but in some ways there are similarities in the metaphoric suggestion. He does weave the details of our lives, though, if we allow and perceive His artistry in our present moments.
Just now the daughter called and discussed the grandson. I was able to introduce some of the observations of artistry. Some people are not able to perceive that tapestry, or of how Jesus weaves us--woof and warp. Yet we may see Him threading the various aspects of our daily lives if we remain pliable and even eager to learn, to follow, to submit to His inspiration.
Fascinating--at least to me--all this!
Despite exhaustion which comes from time to time as a blessing, there are elements that quietude provides and weariness sips. Music and even superfluous news-noise is less effort than reading for now. Yet the Lord instills meaning and purpose in a practical sense--perhaps like weaving a harmony or a floor mat.
His Real Presence is truly present. Perceive Him! Allow Him to weave us according to His tapestry vision for each life of each soul. Remain in His Real Presence!