The pain has been particularly severe lately, and today it seemed best to drive a distance to the lumber yard and have a talk with Craig. He helped explain how to build a temporary support wall, down to details of cutting and nailing joist studs and then a full wall with header and footer plates, and studs every 16" on center. Then once shoved up and into place very close to the wall needing to be removed and rebuilt, begin the process of removing the bad wall and replace with a permanent new wall. Essentially, construct two walls, the first being temporary to carry the load of the roof joists.
Through earthly work--this is another means of God's grace communi- cating spiritual lessons and truths: the tangible efforts and progress in otherwise manual labor and mundane tasks. We can see the analogies easily enough to facets of the soul, the Church, the support and carrying the load--then making all things new, straight, plumb, true, and able to take on the load for however long into the future.
This body was so fatigued with pain and suffering from workload burnout, that Craig mentioned how good it can be to take a little break. Yes, the trip into civilization was one such break today. He also mentioned he takes Meloxicam to help with his arthritis. The mention of this prescription anti-inflammatory was another little nuance of God's communication. I responded that I take that, as well. Only later when yet more fatigued and dragging about a little vegetable and fruit market, did the Holy Spirit bring up "Meloxicam" again.
In an effort to cut back on expenses, a couple weeks ago I experimented with taking half the daily dose of Meloxicam. Aha! The pain level increasing is in direct correlation to the decrease in the medication. Craig's out-of-the-blue mention of this specific medication in the lumber store, was a clue to solving the last few days of decreased energy and increased pain.
Little things like this seem perhaps silly, but later when talking on the phone with my spiritual father, we discussed my writing and again how people fear or ignore the practical and simple ways in our lives in which God communicates with us, in nuances and in obvious situations. I reminded him of Psalm 16, as it was one he and his fellow seminarians memorized to repeat at their day of ordination as priests. Consider the line: Even at night, my heart instructs me.
And who is within our hearts? It was thought centuries ago that the soul resided in the physical heart, and God resides in the soul. Years ago when too busy and worn out to study and learn and meditate (due to working full time and caring for my children as a single mom) I prayed one night asking God to teach me what I need to know to be closer to Him, in my dreams. I prayed for Him to bind Satan from my dreams, as well.
That first night the Lord began to instruct me. I have shared this with many others, even a young mother of nine children who came yesterday with her husband to pick up the antique stove they bought. We had a marvelous talk. She stated how frustrating it is when she wants to have time to be alone with the Lord and mediate and pray, but at least five little voices are talking or asking her for something. By bedtime she is exhausted. She will now will have all God's time and attention necessary in His night counsel.
Yes, many topics were discussed with my spiritual father today. I reminded him of the anniversary of a major mystical event that occurred 19 years ago. It was quite powerful and reminds us that God can do anything in our lives, in any way He desires, transcending the temporal and the understood. He tends to grace us without our anticipating anything of the sort.
In this particular event, I had never heard of such a thing, but a priest who was my director at the time explained what it was. Since then I have read of such phenomenon in what others have written or was written of their experience. But the gist or lesson for me was a personal foretelling of a life of much suffering: suffering assigned by God and for His utilization.
Another lesson relates more to the current aspect of writing and sharing. I must attempt helping others (even if one or two others) in awareness of the indwelling Trinity. God desires full communication and interaction in and of our lives, our very souls, day and night. It seems many are not aware, or if so, do not think that God is that real, that active, or could possibly enact such in us and communicate in powerful ways--or that it was for select others, in the past.
But He can and does communicate and interact in us, any of us, now. We must fully open to Him and learn to respond and to give ourselves over completely. God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit love each of us so much as to desire us and will instill a reciprocal love and devotion. God wants us to dwell in Him as He dwells in us.
The spiritual father said: Keep writing! Keep writing!
The Lord will help guide in what is written and shared. Some is trial and error. He mostly seems to have a light touch and soft voice, but God is capable of reaching in and taking charge when necessary. I am learning to not seek approval of any but God. The type of writing is to be spiritual, from the heart: personable, not needing to justify what is written, but offering a sincere sharing of whatever may have meaningful message to any one person.
The sharing will hopefully help stave the fear or reticence of and in the spiritual life. Share the Spirit that emanates and infuses our temporal lives and the Spirit by which we are subsumed into God, while yet solidly grounded.
Tonight, though, I look back as if on a spiritual scrapbook, and revisit that night 19 years ago (not yet confirmed a Catholic but receiving private instruction). The unanticipated mystical occurrence let me know personally of God's power and desires. It is not that everyone would have the same phenomenon, but everyone is created to personally and uniquely experience God's power and desires.
We need to be aware, willing, and open to however the Trinity desires to emanate in our lives, and this includes in other-worldly ways. God so desires all souls to be His. Fear is the flip side of faith. What does any soul have to fear? Perfect love casts out fear. There is nothing to lose but ourselves into the immensity of God Is Love.
God bless His Real Presence in us: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.