Inching Forward as a Hermit

St. Dorotheos of Gaza is immensely helpful. More on his chapter on gaining virtues another time.

He also shares about how to keep going: perseverance.

A hermit must persevere. Hard to believe the progression is becoming years. The solitude is beginning to settle in more deeply. Nothing is learning to be still, to allow the Lord to bring what and who He wills; the nothing Catholic hermit does not contact except in a specific need--such as Apple Support this morning when the computer did not turn on after a major thunderstorm the night before. The editing employ must go on..... Even if it is but two hours a day (on days when the hermit feels well enough), it helps pay the 21st century bills and taxes!

Today there were more resolves, and this included embracing the ridicule of others. St. Francis de Sales writes of the merit in this embrace of even the smallest of persecutions. It is humbling. And when offered for the love of God and the conversion of souls (and very much the nothing's soul which desires on-going deeper conversion), the smallest of persecutions strengthen the soul with desire to suffer anything for God--no matter how miniscule.

The inching took a leap with the nothing's energy improving, and the physical pain level ebbing enough to allow joyousness to come easily. At times the nothing does not comprehend itself, just how severe is the pain, and how it is affecting the existence. And then, the taunts of the devil know just when to tighten the vice-grip, and the lights flicker and go out, flicker and come on, and then night falls. But then day breaks.

The confessor celebrated Mass today, and he spoke on the Gospel reading: Let your light shine.... Nothing pondered the message again: You are to remain hidden! Well, it has already pondered the realities of interior acts of charity. And those acts, for the most part, are hidden. There is nothing temporally shining, no light to be seen except, God willing, by God. Not even the hermit should see its light. Well, St. Dorotheos helps in these thoughts. Humility is the mortar of the house of virtues, and it is also the roof, the crown. But later, more on that.

So the nothing listened to its confessor's homily, and it considered last night's electrical storm. The confessor pointed out by means of analogy, that lights used to be on the ceiling in old homes, illuminating the room from a high position; if lights are placed on the floor, they do not illuminate as well. But, considering the life of a hermit who is "to remain hidden", nothing thought of how the lights flickered and went out several times last evening, and then would come on again for a short period, and then go out again.

That is nothing's experience, particularly with the sufferings which so deplete at times, and by God's allowance, active outreach--even before nothing's vows were received nearly 8 years ago. But in other ways, spiritually in growth of flickerings on and off, the imagery of lights makes sense. Some dark nights may be for short periods; others last a long time. First the night of the senses, and then of the soul.

And these dark nights aren't guaranteed to occur just once. Oh no! They can continue off and on like flickering lights during a storm. Or, they can be steady aids in spiritual growth (dark nights are good for us!) much as when we turn off the lights for the night. Then we rest, we ponder on our beds, we pray, we wonder, we travel to wherever God takes us without the distraction and resistance of daylight hours.

Then nothing considered the light in a closet. The closet has a ceiling fixture, and the nothing can stand in there and be able to see to file papers (where the file cabinet is), or on weather darkened days, see to dress with the light shining. No one else sees the light (who is living, that is), for nothing is in a hidden place. Yet the results are seen, in the fulfillment of purposeful task, mundane as those tasks may seem.

As far as letting one's light shine, that is fine, but it is up to God, truly. How our light is seen, or how much of it, if any, is up to God's discretion and doing. Exterior light shines differently than interior light.

The sun is shining whether overcast or not, day and night, somewhere, up there. Its source is God's creative power and energy. Such also, is the electric light bulb, the candle flame, the human soul.

So much emphasis is put on exterior light, as that is how most view light. But nothing must focus on interior light, such as the sun not seen due to clouds, or the sun not seen due to the earth's rotation. It all similes well with the realities of a soul hidden in Christ. Yes, despite suffering which seems to either spark erratic flames or nearly snuff out the wick, the nothing is reminded it is a genderless soul, in nothingness, nesting with the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

Is nothingness dark or light? Well, it depends upon perspective--exterior or interior, tangible or spiritual!

When one is called by God to remain hidden, there can be no spotlight, no beaming forth. The light is not likely to be on the ceiling, up there to illumine a whole room. Rather, it is more likely a star so far out there in the universe, that human eyes do not detect its light. And if telescopes discover it some day, even then it will appear as if flickering, and it will seem as if inching its way over light years, to its destiny.