The nothing Catholic hermit developed a kind of sub-rule to the Nine S Rule. For the "s" of "solitude", it decided a few months ago to wait upon the Lord in the area of contacts. So, it does not make overtures to others, generate e-mails, extend invitations (not that it did this much, anyway), or go places without specific and definite need.
Just let the Lord decide who He wants to be in the nothing's life, or who will correspond, or what contacts are made in the management of an individual hermitage.
What has resulted is a tremendous humbling. The Lord, in reality, has few physical people He brings into the nothing's life. This fact has enhanced the Nine S', especially silence, solitude, slowness and stillness. As for suffering, this has increased some due to a tendency to self-doubt and second guess.
The nothing was socialized at an early age to reach out to others, to take the lead--and that having social contacts was expected and enforced.
Well, it is appropriate, in the world. And it is definitely necessary if one is called to active ministry.
The confessor this morning reminded the nothing that even hermits are not without human encounters. It is unavoidable. This is true. But what this experimental sub-rule (or, hopefully, inspiration from the Holy Spirit) reveals is that if one waits upon the Lord for whom He chooses in each contact and encounter, one can be humbled if not a bit shocked.
What seems to be transpiring in the nothing's life, is that the contacts are few, and those that He does arrange are via e-mail, or the very few maintenance aspects requiring an errand or call to a store or nursery, or a call from an adult child or the cousin. Even these dwindle due to people who God calls to function more in the world, are quite necessarily busy.
The subtleties of whom God brings, therefore, require even more sensitivity in the detection. He is bringing people for the hermit to pray for. He brings them via a headline on the internet e-mail server, and through an e-mail from persons never physically encountered, and through a homily message which causes memories or the mind to be triggered to some cause or problem in the world--or even right in the chapel! He brings people in the night who have problems, in a kind of altered sphere explicable between God and the nothing. He brings on occasion the friend of the past: in a phone call, e-mail, or chance encounter when nothing runs the increasingly rare errand.
He brings the men framing the new house next door, and the realtor to the neighbors on the other side--the ones trying to sell their house. The carpenters the nothing can greet in the morning with a "hello" and pray for their safety as they saw and hammer and perch as they roof. The other neighbors the nothing can pray for, since the detective has said they are not to speak to the nothing (after the awful events of last fall and winter), and the nothing is to stay as far away possible for its own good. But the nothing is quite close in praying for them, for whatever God wills in their lives, be it to sell their house or to stay, under these circumstances. (And it is absolutely ideal for a hermit, for they now help enforce the silence, and working in the gardens is pleasant without the woman's chatter or horrendous outbursts, or the man's sarcasm.)
God brings Dorotheos of Gaza, just as He brought Fra Jerome Hawes. He brings the upset consumers for which the nothing edits their complaints and determines if they will be published or not. And the nothing prays for them and increasingly for this country. He brought the e-mail from a foreign religious asking for $5000 to be sent immediately; and the nothing had to decline the request after some consideration. (Hermits are to give alms, but this was not a genuine need or request. As a priest who knew the person said, "It is an outrage.") So the nothing prays about that situation, also.
God brings the invitation of a Catholic couple who plan to move once their house sells, to join them for dinner after Mass tomorrow night. This is also a rare outing, but with these there is always good spiritual conversation. And, God brought them and their invitation. If there were many such invitations, nothing would begin to wonder, for a hermit is called to a stricter separation from the world, and to silence and solitude, in assiduous prayer and penance.
The confessor said that praying is being a light to the world, even though no one sees it.
Part of what the nothing Catholic hermit is trying to accept is the humbling reality that this is really IT. Waiting upon the Lord to bring who HE wants in the nothing's life suddenly shows that the Lord does not desire many at all--not in the physical sense or otherwise. Most friendships the nothing has had to let slip by the wayside. After all, in the harsh reality, nothing sees that it was fanning air into those contacts, and running out of air; or, in other aspects, it was others entering into the nothing's life who were doing so out of curiosity or for non-spiritual, superfluous reason.
Perhaps we do have much extraneous in our relationships, after all. This is a good experiment, indeed! It is allowing the Lord to help the hermit simplify, as in ridding out a closet or using up the food in the pantry. One finds that there might not be so much necessary in a hermit's soul-closet, after all; and, what God provides is best, for He has chosen.
Also, what needs to be accomplished by one individual human being, in the maintenance of its physical life, is more attainable when the excess of calls and contacts is deleted. One then focuses on the few that are brought by God. One is sensitized and made receptive to what comes through non-temporal means. The interior capacities are heightened, and there ought, then, be a greater peace and assurance that what one is doing, who one is speaking with, praying for, or seeing (even without speaking), is exactly who God has brought for that purpose.
The confessor said to pray to the Holy Spirit prior to speaking. The nothing Catholic hermit had admitted that in seeing clearly into souls and situations, that often it forgets that others do not perceive in the same way; and the nothing then speaks with directness. (Ah, if only it would write with directness!)
Guilt and doubts about its existing in this manner, has tripped the hermit! Is this what God really wants? Is this selfish to do this--to wait for others to initiate contacts (except when it is a business matter which needs to be handled)? Is it right to respond to an e-mail and then wait until the other responds, before making further contact--and this mode, also, with phone calls? Is it right to not go and do?
As the confessor said, the Holy Spirit will guide and help discern. The thought has come this afternoon, that the nothing Catholic hermit IS able to consider some writing that seems helpful to at least one soul, and it is gradually getting a leg up onto the huge horse called Maintenance in this hermitage and gardens! The nothing is becoming more stabilized from distractions, and also sees the finer point in stricter separation, silence and solitude, assiduous prayer and penance.
And, in reality, the effects are quite helpful in managing the physical suffering.
The experimental sub-rule of the "s" of solitude is proving to be more a gift now, than a guilt or doubt. Just writing it all out has helped, and now the nothing must turn to the poor consumers whose complaints are awaiting editing, for the Lord has brought them to the nothing: to help in their wording, to take out expletives, to assure they have not slandered, and to very much pray for them in their frustration with--and abuse by--the consumer industry's greed--and, in some cases, consumers' regrets of purchasing items they now wish were house payments or food!
No comments:
Post a Comment