Well, the upsweep of euphoria at having been able to be out of bed more than in a few months, has come to a drastic halt. I'm once more suffering dreadfully. The gut issues have a name: Paralytic Ileus. Means the intestines are not operating as they ought. Been occurring on occasion for 18 years, but in the past couple or three weeks has been chronic, and this time horrific.
Just another symptom of the Adhesive Arachnoiditis of which the nerves within the spinal cord were injured in the 1987 surgery or also the myelogram just prior. My July 23 surgery did not help but rather seems to have given a boost to this progressive, rare disease. Digestive and urinary tract problems are all typical of the many symptoms that develop over time.
I have no idea if this is going to be the new normal, but the added trauma of the rods and screws needing to be first removed from the lower lumbar-sacrum of spine, has been obvious to me since this recent surgery. Then adding more sets of rods and screws, bone fusion, on up the lumbar, also aggravated what for short is called: AA.
The intestinal issues can progress and be chronic and also debilitating. The increased symptoms of the intestinal muscles not receiving or interpreting needed nerve impulses is at another level from what I've dealt with on occasion in past. Despite the nausea, the painful abdominal distension, I kept trying to go for walks, managed the magnificent errand to Walmart Pharmacy, and yesterday walked on some hilly paths. (This was an unexpected blessing: a text from young grandson asking me along while he rode his mountain bike.)
Then last night I mixed ingredients for Springerle--my great-grandmother's recipe for these German "picture" cut-out anise-flavored cookies. My prayer intention for my adult children's lives--and I will remain positive that I'll be able to complete the rolling out and baking of what is now refrigerated dough, at some other time.
I have no idea how this day or night will unfold. Between bed and bathroom, this has been the present moment situation since yesterday evening. The Lord is reminding me that I am in His Order of the Present Moment, St. Joseph our patron, my habit the usual, ordinary nightwear. I may need to go to ER for some scans, if the situation, once I recover from this bout, becomes a repetitive, on-going problem.
Just have to wait and see, and endure the added pain and suffering, the awful aspects of intestinal troubles, and the harsh reality that joy includes the upsweeps and the laying-lows. [Another neighbor woman, recently met, just dropped off some Coca Cola; she brought and gave comfort in this kindness! I read online that Coke can help re-balance the digestive tract--in small ways, but am trying. Lord, please know I'm trying.]
I had to sacrifice A.'s coming this morning with Communion. Matters here are far too unpleasant and unpredictable, bodily: misery abounds. But not a place this hermitage, Solus Deus, must be for other than the mystical and spiritual presences of the Trinity, the Virgin Mary, St. Joseph and all the saints and angels of which many are saintly ancestors and friends who enjoy the glory of God in heaven, eternally now.
Here, too, are welcome the suffering souls in purgatory, desiring my prayers. And I have been praying for all people with digestive tract ailments of which Crohn's Disease comes to mind, and the not-too-many sufferers of Adhesive Arachnoiditis from spinal cord injuries of various types who suffer this symptom, also.
I pray God's comfort and joy on all who suffer in whatever ways in this present moment, and present moment by present moment as the moments pass. Joy must remain a commitment of anyone living in and who belongs to the Order of the Present Moment. Keep joy, always!
When I read the first Scripture reading (Isaiah 40: 1-11) of yesterday's Mass, the first words captivated my mind and heart. Comfort, give comfort to my people, says your God. These words--what I think of as a gentle, soothing command--I very much wanted for myself. I was becoming discouraged with the unknowns even of how long this current, painful and miserable symptom will continue, nor if it will simply repeat itself all over again as seems its recent trend. I'm not used to this being on a continuum, nor do I want it.
But while I want God's comfort, He is reminding me to give comfort to His people, to others. I can only do that in my prayers today, or in writing this post in case someone who is interested and might, also, decide to offer God's comfort to those around them, or in prayer to people all over the world. For all people are God's people; He created us all and desires us to be His beloved children, His flock of which He does not stop seeking after us, even if only one were to remain lost.
While the prophet Isaiah spoke to the people of his time period, the reality of prophecy is that the words reach far into the future, to other persons, to other times, in which the words of God and their meaning still stand true and strong--God speaking across time and through centuries, for time is God's creation for the temporal, yet He is in time and beyond time: timeless.
So I read and meditate God's word through the prophet Isaiah, and His divine message becomes meant for me personally, as it also is meant for you personally. While I could edit the verses to shorten the passage, the beauty and rich meaning that fills me with God's comfort, and gives me also the grace to give comfort to others even if my prayers and what bit of writing is my means of giving God's comfort.
I know with assurance that God is carrying me, and carrying you, dear readers--gathering and carrying us close to His bosom, tending us, leading us with His loving care. It's a present moment of all present moments to take joy in this reality: God is our comforter; God is comforting us now and always.
Please, with me if you wish, read and silently let God's Word through Isaiah speak to us with whatever personal meaning the Holy Spirit inspires. These are the living realities of God comforting us today, right now, wherever we are and whatever we are doing, thinking, feeling.
God is our comfort; God is our recompense. Each line, each thought, has a message for us from God, and instructions for our human, mortal lives, but all the more for our immortal souls seeking blessed, eternal union with our Comforter, Savior, our Redeemer. God bless His Real Presence in us!
"Comfort, give comfort to my people, says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and proclaim to her
that her service is at an end, her guilt is expiated;
Indeed, she has received from the hand of the LORD
double for all her sins.
A voice cries out: In the desert prepare the way of the LORD!
Make straight in the wasteland a highway for our God!
Every valley shall be filled in,
every mountain and hill shall be made low;
The rugged land shall be made a plain,
the rough country, a broad valley.
Then the glory of the LORD shall be revealed,
and all mankind shall see it together;
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.
A voice says, 'Cry out!'
I answer, 'What shall I cry out?'
'All mankind is grass, and all their glory like the flower of the field.
The grass withers, the flower wilts,
when the breath of the LORD blows upon it.
(So then, the people is the grass.)
Though the grass withers and the flower wilts,
the word of our God stands forever.'
Go up onto a high mountain, Zion, herald of glad tidings;
Cry out at the top of your voice, Jerusalem, herald of good news!
Fear not to cry out and say to the cities of Judah:
Here is your God!
Here comes with power the Lord GOD, who rules by his strong arm;
Here is his reward with him, his recompense before him.
Like a shepherd he feeds his flock;
in his arms he gathers the lambs,
Carrying them in his bosom,
and leading the ewes with care."
~ Isaiah 40:1-11
