I often find in the spiritual life, when my mind, heart, and soul are more freed from distractions of the temporal world, and the Lord has more than less of my rapt attention, it seems that my physical body will give indications in various ways and conditions, of what is needed to be improved upon or changed, or what will coincide with what spiritually needs improving.
Then, along come clues and tips from the temporal world--such as I read a review of a wounded war veteran's book [Jason Redmond, Overcome, 2019]. in He describes the path and means he found in practical ways physically. mentally, and emotionally--and in some aspects spiritually--out of what otherwise could be a life sentence of miserable existence for him and those around him.
He had a couple of acronyms developed--akin to mnemonic devices: alphabet letters to remind him of a few key concepts. For example, "R" was to "understand the reality of the situation." Elsewhere he writes of not reacting to others' comments, opinions, or even such as the stares of others. (He suffered face wounds--scars and bone structure changes--from machine gun bullets to the face and head.)
I'm yet searching for the review for more specifics, although most of the letters to remind of various words or phrases, are not new to me and probably not to you readers. They are practical and wise reminders to seek our purpose in life, to rise beyond the temporal snares, to do practical efforts such as exercise, eat healthy foods, get up in the morning early and at same or close to same time. We do well to verbalize when despairing thoughts threaten the focus, learn to keep a positive attitude. ("A" was probably part of the mnemonic "REACT" or "REACH" or whatever it is he appropriately devised in his well-thought out and successful plan for positive and effective life.)
I know that one help or advice is to do for others, to be less self-involved and more other-centered, and volunteer to help people in whatever ways possible. For a consecrated Catholic hermit, praise of God and prayer for our souls and especially for others' needs and intentions are a means of volunteering our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls. We may "do" this any time of day or night, for however long we and God desire and will, and with whatever depth of focus and love that His grace inspires and provides!
(Yes, I did have to pray for the Holy Spirit's input on this part of volunteering, for as a hermit, people-izing is not in keeping with the silence of solitude. But as pertinent for me is my inability physically to be consistent or all that functional, pain-wise, and with the limitations of spinal injury, to even ring a Salvation Army bell--standing in one place on concrete. That would "do in" my spine with pain beyond reasonable management.
(In my first decade of hermit vocation, I brought Communion to and visited people in hospitals and nursing homes. Walking and standing on the concrete, linoleum-covered floors, standing by bedsides, and giving the ill persons the time and attention needed or desired in listening to their plights or delightful stories they wished to share, would land me in several days to week or two of pain siege--not able to get up other than bathroom or quick snack brought back to bed for consumption.
(I took all the training to be a hospice volunteer--before my profession and vows of consecrated Catholic hermit vocation. I don't know why the nurse instructor waited until our "graduation", but she informed me I would not be allowed to do hospice work due to my back disability. She had a bias of sorts, of my being on floor, sitting at the foot of someone's recliner, listening and talking--which I already had done successfully when visiting shut-ins. Actually the Lord blessed my own pain limitations to great success, as it made others feel not alone in suffering, and I was more beneath them. That sense of their being above, even in their dying weeks, was quite positive and ennobling for the shut-ins. God provides in astonishing ways!)
Long digression....I can confidently remind those of us who are hermits that our praising God and praying for the souls of the world, and the many specific prayer concerns that we are given or can seek out by perusing the daily news--is an eremite's volunteer work! We can also donate and gift others--known and unknown--by dropping off gifts at their doors; or we can send anonymous encouragement notes in the mail. We do not need to ring doorbells to chat, nor leave off helpful gifts when we'd be noticed. We can sign an encouraging card with something simple, such as "from someone in the church/area who cares"--so that the person is not imposed upon or fearful that a stranger is stalking.
We can anonymously donate to good causes, for if others are living the hermit vocation with the simplicity that I now have the blessing to live it (rather than having to purchase building supplies to get myself out of a tough housing situation), there may be money to donate. I now am able to live on very little, pay my bills monthly, and have a little left over to donate to researched or known, worthy causes.
In addition to such tips and others, such as those the wounded vet suggests in his autobiography of survival and forward-living, he mentioned what has also resonated with me in a major way in current, present moments. That is, he said he had to let go of negative persons in his life--people who are integral to negative situations that are not being resolved or not able to be resolved for one or more reasons.
After his injuries and the 37 surgeries over months and I-forget-how-many-years--perhaps two or three--his life had changed. His way of perceiving and needing to press forward had altered. He could no longer do as he'd done before; his life had a higher purpose, for lack of easier way to explain it. His cross was plenty heavy as it was, and he had to stay focused. He could not carry his cross well and also be involved in some of the unhealthy crosses (what I call sideways crosses) of others who had not reached a point yet of self-honesty or of realizing they needed help with their own trials which had become negative situations or caused them to be themselves negative people.
[Oh, how I pray to be preserved from being negative! I pray to be aware that I, too, can or may be a negative influence, a negatively-tainted person, or a chronically negative person! Lord, lead me not into the temptation of negativity and deliver me when I have settled into negativity or been affected by negatives around me. Keep me honest in my self-awareness of flaws and sins and courageous in determination to rise from darkness into Christ's Light!]
The wounded veteran realized he had to let go the negative persons in his life, or in some cases, he had to extricate himself from their negative issues, perspectives, and/or situations. He had to let go or remove himself from those who had difficulty accepting his new way of having to live--socially, physically, spiritually, as well as his purposeful focus and intensity of what inner strength within it takes to get up each day. And then what it takes to persevere with all that goes along with disability and depression and difficulties that suffering or having been through major life changes brings...the "whole ball of wax."
So I am in process of prayerfully sifting through the relationships, and there are some--although a hermit has not a bevy of people in his or her life. And this reality is by virtue and nature of living the hermit life increasingly true to what the Church sets forth quite simply and directly in the Catechism as well as repeating the information in CL 603 and making one addition to include those who are publicly professing the counsels and being designated to a specific diocese. We also have saint hermits of the past centuries to whom to turn for guidance in living the consecrated life of a Catholic hermit to the highest ideals--a way of temporal and spiritual existence which tends to take years and years in which to grow, evolve, develop.
I'm realizing in my own consecrated eremitic vocation, that even after 20 years, I have loose threads, hangers-on, some leftovers of relationships that over time have dropped away or lessened contact, and as if assisted by the Holy Spirit for those persons to detach by natural, reasonable, attrition and selection, given the variances in the ways our lives are lived out. My pain situation assists in this positive, natural attrition; and yet there have been persons or situations unhealthy that I have had to face directly, and pray about the benefit or value that I was able to bring to that person or situation, or if there was negative benefit for the other or for me, or for both.
There have not been many of another category, but there have been some in which I had to be strong and firm, allowing time for responses or for potential for positive change and improvement. But when not, I had or have to sever the ties. I tend to always explain the issue with the person, other than in one major situation in which I lacked the courage, or was in denial of my responsibility. Regardless, the Holy Spirit allowed the realities to come to light, and although I offered, twice, sincere apologies for the way in which it was dealt with, and asked forgiveness for the hurt I caused the other, there has not been contact since. I must trust in the Lord that He is handling it in the way He wills and knows best.
I deeply trust in the Divine Providence of God, especially when I have acted with sincere concern and intention even if handling matters in gauche and hurtful ways, and when I have confessed, asked forgiveness of God and the one hurt and offended, and I have done penance. I also make sure I have sacramental confession even if my pain situation makes it later than sooner. In this recent situation, it was suggested to me that the person I hurt may have benefitted by my candor and has sought help to work through issues and situation. I have no idea. I simply take my wrongful way of handling it and ask God's forgiveness and ask the other person's forgiveness, and will not reach in again unless am guided by God or confessor to do so.
As for family, as having been married for a scant 10 years [the final year the spouse was living elsewhere], decades ago, and have three grown children and three grandchildren, it seems the Lord is worked out that painful situation, increasingly with time. The grandchildren are older now, and only one is in the vicinity; the other two I've reached in with texts of my love and encouragement, but rarely are there responses--which, of course, are painful realities of their busy lives the older the grandchildren become. I was a grandchild one, myself, who grew (now regrettably) preoccupied and busy in adolescent and teen years....
The hermit and God alone, for the most part, are the team that must get through the minutes and hours and days of the painful trials. And while, yet again, I've been again alerted that a lady hermit [who perhaps was intimidated by my finally contacting her diocese when she broke two penal codes in doxxing and slandering me online--of which thankfully she seems to have stopped the doxxing, and God will deal with the slander] has opined on hermits with disabilities, that they consider dispensing of their vows. Surely any Catholic hermit who would read of such a suggestion would disagree. I know of no saint hermits who have stopped being the Church's hermits when the suffering gets tough, or even unto lengthy or slow lead-ups to death.
I am all in for being a holy hermit over and beyond legalism, or fitting into the self-devised standards of people, hermit or not. No reason to dispense of hermit profession and vows other than if God Himself calls the hermit to some other vocation or mission, or if the hermit and spiritual director or if publicly professed, the bishop, advises the hermit to cease the vocation. If properly discerned for period of time prior to profession, there would be few instances for a hermit to cease being a hermit.
So I've been, also informed, there were comments made that a hermit who is a grandparent should not be involved if asked, such as to watch or babysit a grandchild. I personally go with what my spiritual director always told me, and that was charity must not be forsaken; and that I was to keep up relationships as best I could on my part, with the three souls by the grace of God I brought into this world, and their spouses and children. This rule of charity was to my director of utmost priority and importance.
If I was asked by the adult children or grandchildren and with reasonable requests, of course, he told me: Choose charity first and always.
(The lady hermit evidently went as far to say a hermit must not lend money to family. What kind of advice is that? Who's money is any money, if not God's money? Of course a hermit may lend to others, particularly family, for as is said, "Charity begins at home."
And a hermit may accept monetary help from others, of which family may likely be ones to help in time of need. Pay back loans with interest; gift those who assist. Granted, such needs are and ought be the exception for a hermit, for if truly hidden, a hermit will go unnoticed and must live life's trials as that silent preaching of Christ as mentioned in what we have in Church's Catechism under Eremitic Life. A hermit is contemporary era is responsible for his or her own livelihood to the last breath, plus funeral and burial costs!)
Regardless whatever might be my own hermit desires to be for others and demonstrate love, God determines my efforts; my spine situation has always proven to be a hindrance to much "doing" other than living in the Order of the Present Moment. My high level of pain does not allow me to be consistent nor physically (and sometimes not emotionally nor mentally) reliable to anyone, sad as that is to live out as my reality. But I am always spiritually available and reliable in Christ and in suffering. I have a most loving and giving soul, or so I used to. These days it is hard for me to remember myself before 1984's onset of crucifixion, age 33!
As to the lady hermit's other tittle-tats that seem coincidentally to mirror my blog's hermit-life sharing, there seems much my fellow hermit expounds in disagreement. And always her--what amount to opinions--have been in direct opposition to what was advised by my spiritual director, or whatever confessor, on the various topics she'd find to disagree.
Ironically, it has always been the reality, that whatever the lady hermit would write (over the decade or so of her following my blog and opining oppositional statements as if somehow authoritative fact or edict) have always been negated by my director, my henceforth confessors, my bishop at the time, and also by his main go-to power player, the Vicar General. Figure that if one is able.
It seems another indication of the wide variance in what the different bishops and their designated priests advise and consider right and wrong in how a consecrated Catholic hermit ought live out the vocation, with addition of canon law or not. Thus, is just reality of different viewpoints, not necessarily a bad thing.
As far as negative situations and persons in my life, this lady has proven to be a long-standing one. [I had written more specifically of the negative, and set forth the truth as far as the steps I had to take regarding the negative situation, encourage person to let it drop, not dig in deeper. I am fairly certain by now the more detailed reminder has been read by or told her. I want for her to be the best person and hermit she can be; tend her own vocation as she thinks best. I don't want an escalation; there will be no need if laws are not broken.]
Just seems a waste of her mind (and mine as a negative distraction). Consider what she could confidently write of her own life as also a consecrated Catholic hermit, but publicly professed. Make peace, not war--isn't that the adage? She could adopt attitude that we simply live in different countries but on the same planet. Seems a worthy idea for her consideration at the beginning of the new calendar year and decade--as a gift to the Holy Mother of God on January 1st!
Some of my friends, or more people, might want to read what she has to write if could be original and not take the mantle of feeling a calling to nit-pick my hermit life, or be oppositional to what I've been directed by ordained--even holy--clerics. Leave the hermit judging to Jesus and the making up of hermit rights and wrongs to God and spiritual directors! This advice is good for all of us human beings as well as all of us consecrated Catholic hermit human beings!
But definitely, this person has been a negative; and while I can feel pity and ignore, I also encourage myself of not being privy to or of being informed of her opinions/criticisms of my life, no matter how veiled.
But when I have found out the criticisms, I think with gratitude of my mother, who was not always easy on her children and would particularly correct me in various ways for she wanted me to be the very best I could be. She had high expectations because she could see my potential, the gifts and talents God bestowed. She also knew I heeded her corrections and suggestions, or when not, had to live out the consequences for myself but with her continued love, despite my own self. There was always something helpful I could learn.
Yes, although painful at times, I learned to take my mother's criticism as always with some nugget of gold and good in it, as there usually is good that we can take from criticism and apply to our lives. Or if the criticism or opinions are in opposition to Scripture, to our spiritual superiors, or to the lives of the saints and their writings, we can yet learn to not take offense. Rather we can pray for the person such as if one becomes obsessive and a negative, or in ourselves, to review how we are ourselves might be negative, including judging others with or without realizing it.
Of course, it is good for us hermits to be honest with ourselves, and not try to impress our readers with what we are not. At best, we are consecrated Catholic hermits--either publicly or privately professed. We also are the least of the vocations, the least of the consecrated, the least of souls, the least of suffering servants, and we are least but ever striving to be led by His Real Presence into greater nothingness within the Trinity's ALL.
Today I dropped off a gift of Coca Cola, part in repayment of what a neighbor on another street had brought me two intestinal ordeals ago when I was unprepared for the extreme of it. Yesterday I'd had fun finding a little something from a new store nearby and included that with my thank-you. When I arrived at their home, a short walk--the spouse was at home, so I could not simply leave my gifts and depart. He invited me in, and I graciously accepted. He wanted to have me come to their church; he was quite excited and said he can't wait to take me, as he had spoken of me and my spine issues to some people in their small group at church the day prior. I mentioned that I have difficulty sitting--but he immediately said, "Oh, when you are better, when your back is better."
I decided not to explain that it is not going to get better. He continued on, saying he can't wait until he gets me there. So I decided to mention as an aside, that it sounds like a wonderful church, and that I had wanted to go to my church this morning since weekday services are shorter and less sitting, but I was unable to get to sleep until after 4 a.m. so will try tomorrow. He immediately asked what church. I only had to say the parish name--not even add "Catholic Church."
He seemed kind of stunned, but then said he was brought up Catholic. Not wanting to get into a discussion that could be "negative" or awkward, I laughed and said I am a convert, brought up Methodist but had been in various denominations before my conversion. I smiled and laughed and said lightheartedly, "We've switched with one another!"
He did say the name of the church they belong to and attend, and I enthusiastically added that it is where my daughter and son-in-law and grandson attend, and how pleased I am to hear how lovely a church, how active, and is wonderful to know. And I tell you, I was most sincere and elated in my joy and delight for people to have a place of Christian worship that they love and attend, and I pray for all of us to grow in the love of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, and God the Father Almighty!
We are the Body of Christ, all baptized, Trinitarian believers and followers of Christ--and while I am praying that there is not an attempt to save me or rescue me from where God called me most definitively, many years ago, I thankful I did not have to use my full-barreled resource that always protects me from others if trying to save me from Catholicism. I did not need to say that I am a Consecrated Catholic Hermit, or avowed and professed for nearly 20 years (which could indicate vocation stability), or that I am in other words, a "religious solitary" in the consecrated life of the Catholic Church--helps if my first statement were to fail.
As far as removing various negatives from my life (negative situations and my on-going personal examination of my own negatives), I have found helpful my prayerful examination and consideration of what the Church states, word by word and phrase by phrase, of what is a Catholic hermit in the Consecrated Life of the Church. This helps me increase striving in the holy ideals of hermit vocation.
As example, Perhaps the simplest and least profound-but-beneficial of hermit vocation aspects are those of being hidden from the eyes of men [others], living in the silence of solitude, and what the silent preaching of Christ entails. Crucially, a hermit must be truthful with self in what being hidden, what is silence and solitude, what is silent preaching of Christ--in the honest living out of our vocation. Just an example of the examination review a hermit may effect with self and Christ, with self and confessor, with self and spiritual director.
This post has meandered long enough and in digressions a'plenty. I hope not to need to mention other examples or specifics of negatives in my life. The Lord is removing me or removing them--persons, situations, whichever--in His way and in His timing in this temporal realm. As to the mentioned negative who probably will always be a negative "opiner" of my consecrated hermit vocation and the way it is unfolding, my path for now is as the Lord prefers for me, chose for me, and thus also is what I agree and accept. Years ago I became aware of the recent public profession hermit vocation option. The Lord made the confusion clear and what His will was for me, and even why. Thus I love the private profession with the traditional, historical saintly hermits as my goal and Christ my Ideal. I also readily recognize I am far from being or attaining even a toehold of these holy hermits' spiritual ascent or of being as Christ, despite my intense love of Him! I will keep praying and seeking and loving.
Don't let negativity into my life, unnecessarily so. Guard over my own body, mind, heart, and soul to curb myself from being a negative. Not easy! There will always be negatives out there in the vast reaches of the internet as well in our daily interactions. There are plenty enough of negatives in what the devil can try to bring to our inner spiritual lives, as well! That is what we hermits must battle most!
As negativity is expunged (can be an on-going process), always hold charity and let Christ be my Guide, for God is Love, and Love prevails and is the reason and purpose we are on this earth. We are to learn to love and love to learn to love. And for those of us who have agreed in some way spiritually or subconsciously or consciously when the Lord gave or gives us crosses to bear, let us "Love to suffer, and suffer to love!"
God bless His Real Presence in us! Little children let us love one another, for love is of God, and love is God!
