I realized that I am weary of labels, of which, yes, my blog assignation is that of four labels that we on earth grasp meaning even if not accurately nor fully.
Do I think about being a Christian? Yes! Do I think about being a Catholic? Not so much but as temporal designation within Christianity. Do I think about being a mystic? Very little to not, unless other/s use the term in whatever context (in reading). Do I think about being a hermit? Very little to not unless other/s use the term in whatever context (in reading). I am most likely to verbalize that I am a Christian if the occasion arises in which my allegiance to Christ is necessary in word; otherwise I strive to live as a Christian even though my thoughts and actions may not seem as such.
This past week I had to do much texting and some phone calls regarding the new countertops that were installed in the renovated kitchen. All was lovely and done well except two areas in which the young men had left a gap between counter and wall, and another in which the front portion seam between two quartz slabs had "lippage" (were uneven). These install flaws were noticed immediately by the man who assists with heavy tasks without my mentioning. I figured if he would notice right away, that a buyer would, as well. This house is my means of providing for my end-of-life health care, should I not die rapidly or suddenly. Personally, I lie in the bedroom and utilize adjoining bathroom and only use the kitchen for access to refrigerator and on occasion the microwave recently installed in wall cabinet unit. Otherwise, I do not need a "house."
I could do well in what is called a tiny house or a one-room house with bath attached. A refrigerator could be placed in the one room as well as a microwave or small cooktop or the very small convection oven I have in here, used on rare occasion. Mostly I grange eat small amounts of food; a bowl, saucer, mug, and salad plate have sufficed as my dishware for several years. My back is such that eating reclining on bed is best. The intrathecal pump surgery left me with gastroparesis so I do not eat a "meal" and only a few foods seem to do best, not causing nausea to interfere with functioning. A one-bedroom or studio apartment would suffice if not for noise factors in apartments adjoining; however, there are ear plugs or ipods to blunt hearing.
As I persevered with the battle to get the countertop employees to return to fix the two areas of flaw, this included researching for the "industry standards" of all types of natural stone countertops. I have learned not to trust what others tell me especially when they do not have their facts in writing. In locating online the Marble Institute of America's text of industry standards and read the chapter on "Allowances", I discovered that the countertop company was inaccurate in what they insisted were their allowances. In the gap they were off by double the width allowed; in the unlevel slabs at seam in front, they were totally off the industry standards, for there is no allowance for any lippage at front of countertop seam nor in the back and if the stone is warped, there is an allowance of up to 1/32" in middle section.
I had to be firm and explain why I need the two areas done properly. I had to be firm with the company as well as Home Depot asst. manager. All through, I tried to remain Christian in behavior and voice, but to persevere in explaining why this countertop done properly is important to my needs and the job done for resale at some point, and also, perhaps more so, for the company personnel and young men who were either unaware or slip-sliding on the actual industry standards for installation. I considered the reality that we have, when we do wrong to another verbally or in thought or in our actions, temporal and eternal consequences. These consequences remain outside of our being forgiven by God, when we ask God forgiveness for what we've done.
So I wrote this, as the young woman who is in charge of my countertop account and install was texting as form of communication. I reminded that these are the realities when people do wrong and refuse to correct or do the right action, but instead refuse and as they had mentioned, Home Depot had paid them so they felt they could be done. Take the money and run. Home Depot asst, manager offered me some money in refund, and I asked him why should Home Depot pay money when they did not do a bad install job--and only in two places, easy to recut a small piece of quartz that fits the space properly, and I think the unlevel countertop seam could be sanded and buffed. (The young man installer said it might "burn" with sanding; but I pointed out to the HD asst mgr. that the young man sanded and buffed the end of the counter which was installed raw and rough, and did not burn it.)
I then had to explain to the asst. manager that it is not a matter of money in this situation, but in having countertops that a potential buyer will not see the goofs, and thus detract from the sale or sale price, and with all else in here being done to the best possible workmanship, and quality materials, the countertop install does matter economically but also in keeping with our efforts as humans to do right and our best, when there are solutions to our errors. I mentioned how much a month in, for example, an Alzheimer's unit costs, and then my low monthly income, and that my base which I had only by the hard work and savings of my late parents, split with my sisters, is not nearly enough for what can be over two years for Alzheimer patients or even those such as myself, with Arachnoiditis, if it progresses to loss of leg use and/or the typical loss of intestines and bladder usage.
I also pointed out that God might have me die suddenly or rapidly, but in prudence I need to do what is best and insist that others do their best, especially with the amount of money paid for the countertops to begin with. The small amount, although kindly and generous, that Home Depot was offering for me to go away, was not nearly the cost of my hiring someone else, if I could get someone, to remove and replace.
All through these exchanges with the company and HD, I had to remind myself of the various options, and that in the temporal world with temporal items, there are usually options including replacing with hiring another store to do so--if the errors were going to cause a greater loss in the property value than what would be the cost of replacing. Of course, that was ridiculous; the asst manager said it should not come to that, and I agreed and mentioned again we are talking about two areas of error, so why won't the company agree to fix those two errors?
I had to keep in mind that God loves all the person's souls involved, and that they likely had made up or heard in error some false "industry standards." Or, someone above the young woman in charge of the install oversight, was being told to refuse to have the errors fixed.
And, I considered how all this ridiculous expenditure of God's time and the energy God was giving all of us to deal with this relatively small but costly problem, had me all the more eager to be out of the temporal world as well as to finish this project, be done and moved on, as I think with the sale and with safe investing, I might have enough for five years of care; and if I die rapidly or suddenly--all the more to donate to Fr. V to help students in Nigeria with school fees or whatever other needs those in grave poverty face.
All this came down to our souls. And it was excellent practice and example of how I must learn in all instances, to love as God loves and to persevere in helping other souls do what is best and right for their own souls. Yes, I risked sounding quite strange, writing and speaking of the human soul and of our consequences temporally and eternally when we think, say, or do wrong of and/or to others. I did mention that I am old and infirm with pain, and it seems my vocation to consider such matters and to pray for and encourage others to seek the spiritual view in temporal matters.
As for myself, I consider that if I could have the courage of St. Mary of Egypt, celebrated just two days ago on April 1, I would go out into a forest or desert or mountaintop and not be seen nor heard of for 48 years! However, I lack that courage and faith; and I also know that there are not many places in the vicinity since my body is not well enough to travel far, in which I could live that is not owed by someone or a state or national park of which my living there under the stars would not be accepted by rangers. I'd need my pain pump refilled or go insane from pain; and that has to do with my lack of courage to suffer like that And God has provided otherwise, besides, of which I am most grateful to His Real Presence!
Earlier in the week I'd been contacted by someone whose essence somehow evinces a sense of dissension and darkness. I don't know why exactly, but I felt the heaviness of that pall over me and in my abode for a couple or three days despite some humor in the consciousness of some of the silliness of that entire backdrop of years of off-and-on situations. However, throughout, I lived and practiced God's Law of Love, as I find it easy to love others souls regardless the differences in temporal and spiritual views, and in differences in our inner and outer essences, as well.
I took the earth time God blesses us with, and pondered the differences in essences inner and outer between the other and myself, and in loving kindness saw why our views differ and likely will, not only in writing style but in content. Our very purposes differ, and that is how it is in our temporal lives. Nothing of great import to see there; pass on by.
Back to striving to live God's Law of Love via body, mind, heart, and soul. Celebrating my earthly dad's earth birthday today, this fifth week of Lent, 2022. He'd be 106. Thanking him and praising God for allowing me to be born, and am grateful for this life even if I am weary in suffering and find really not much need of labels at this point (or ever, actually, although now recognizing it). Praise God from Whom all blessings flow! Praise God above and Him below! (...) Praise Father Son and Holy Ghost!
God bless His Real Presence in us! Love in His Love! Onward in the present moment, and forward!
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